60 day NO FAP challenge

[nistake]

Pretty good to read that you're progressing. Keep it up!

I've also started a nofap period but I'm only on my 5th day.

[Vitamine Water]

6 hours ago, nistake said:

Pretty good to read that you're progressing. Keep it up!

I've also started a nofap period but I'm only on my 5th day.

Nice! As soon as you know it, you're at 30 days in. All you need is long term focus! 

[Shin]

At some point you don't even count and don't remember because it becomes natural ?

[Vitamine Water]

Day 31: easy

One month in and feeling GOOD! I'm starting to work on my life goals. I'm more mindful during work times and I feel more energetic to do creative stuff in the evenings. Which could also be a trap too, because it's kind of addicting and so I go to sleep at 1 am. I still sleep for 7 hours but it's not a good habit to go to bed at 1am. Reading at 23:00 and meditation at 23:30 was on my list, so let's pick that up starting tomorrow.

I guess the "less brain fog" is a thing now. I feel overall more aware. More mindful. Even during heavy work... I feel that tingling sensation between my eyebrows when I become awareness. Its like my higher self is giving me a gentle bitch slap

 

 

 

 

 

[Vitamine Water]

Day 32

I now use this sexual energy to become more aware. It is not a technique that I do, it happens automatically. Whenever I feel and urge come up, I focus on the present moment and I rest in that for a few seconds. And the urge fades away. The sexual energy (still a very low amount) is in this way used as a trigger to be aware of the present moment. 

But my qi gong exercise is very on-off. I don't practice it daily, but I want to. The weekends kinda mess up my normal morning routine because I wake up relatively late on Saturdays and Sundays compared to the weekdays. 

I also feel like Bruce Lee. 

Cya

[Shin]

Where are you ?

[Vitamine Water]

Day 34

Things I want to improve:

- earlier bedtime

- morning meditation

- steady qi gong exercise 

- 30 minutes of reading

- 1 SDS per week

- wake up earlier in weekends

- start running (evenings) 

- less ice coffee 

- steady self inquiry habit

- train my social skills

- start dating

 

Priority:

- earlier bedtime

- steady qi gong exercise

- 30 minutes of reading

- SDS

 

 

[Vitamine Water]

14 hours ago, Shin said:

Where are you ?

I'm currently on the toilet 

 

[Shin]

12 minutes ago, Vitamine Water said:

I'm currently on the toilet 

 

Relapse ? 

[Vitamine Water]

14 minutes ago, Shin said:

Relapse ? 

I wouldn't dare

 

 

[youngshinzen]

@Vitamine Water I'm here because of @Shin, nice journal! I like the use of categories, keep it going! I started my own journal just now. 

[Shin]

To give some motivation,

Last night I had a wet dream with 3/4 naked girls that were 11/10, perfect on everything.
They were doing foreplay between themselves while inviting me to come.

The dream didn't make me cum, and I forget about fapping in 5/10 seconds when I woke up.

[Vitamine Water]

@youngshinzen thanks a lot mate, welcome I'll check yours out too! 

@Shin Good to hear u didnt lose anything. When I have a wet dream it's almost always the moment of intercourse that causes the orgasm and I'm too late to hold it back.

Edited December 2, 2018 by Vitamine Water

[Vitamine Water]

Day 35

I feel way less urge to PMO for the last few days. I can't recall even one moment of sexual thought or fantasy today. 

I do notice an increase in social interaction skills, especially talking to people. I saw a YouTube video about interacting with girls last week in which the speaker talked about being genuinely interested in the person you're talking too. Now, I'm not a guy who's always uninterested in the other person. I just have a hard time with small talk and - for the lack of a better word - "lower consciousness" talks (you know what I mean).

So I've been working on that lately and I find myself being more comfortable talking and asking questions to people I normally wouldn't ask questions to. It feels good. But there is still a lot of work to do to be completely comfortable in my skin.

"Stop identifying with you all the time" as Alan Watts would say. 

[Vitamine Water]

Day 36: easy

Oh yeah, forgot to mention yesterday. I started doing cold showers again. Slowly increasing the amount of time I spend in ice cold water. For now I can only last 10 seconds  I want to get back to 4-5 minutes, because that gave me so much power. Pushing yourself past that initial shock of cold water.. Love it haha. Tomorrow morning I'll aim for one minute. 

Terminator mode. 

Fapping or porn isn't even on my mind rn. I'm building more and more awareness, which is really nice. 

 

[Vitamine Water]

"Whats needed is not the addition of a new activity, but a change in the foundation from which all our actions arise."

Peter Ralston

[Vitamine Water]

Day 37: easy

Yesterday evening I started reading the book of not knowing by Peter Ralston, at 11 pm. I went to bed at 12 which felt nice. I had 8 hours of sleep. I've been wanting to read it for quite some time now but I didn't feel ready untill now. 30 minutes a day is the goal. 

What I didn't do from my list was the one minute cold shower. I was too lazy and felt too comfortable in the warm water, so I only did 10 seconds of cold water. 

[Vitamine Water]

Day 39: easy

Whoops, I skipped one day. Maybe it's because there isn't much interesting happening atm. SSDD as they say  

It's a weird phase tho. I don't feel sexually attracted to anything that would normally get me aroused. Like not even slightly. It's just hanging there. Even when I showered this morning (and I was home alone) not even one thought came up. I tried to wake him up but he was just not interested. Lol. 

What I also notice is that I don't really get looks back from girls, which used to happen on previous no fap attempts. Normally within a week or so I could feel the resonating energy, which some girls seemed to be picking up. But I haven't really had that on this attempt.

No desire to watch porn too. More energy to work on my paintings. Still doing the 30 minute reading in the evenings. Qi-Gong still on and off.

 

Edited December 7, 2018 by Vitamine Water

[Vitamine Water]

And I also notice that the sexual urges come in phases. Before this, I thought nofap was getting harder and harder each day and that you'll literally expload on day 30.

Now you just kind of pass a threshold where nofap becomes effortless. And then it comes back, you struggle, and the cycle repeats. Interesting. Maybe these "plateau" moments are going to last longer, I don't know. We'll see. 

[Vitamine Water]

Day 40 easy

I'm having more fantasies compared to yesterday. Maybe because things haven't been going so well today. My pc is broken and I can't get it to run properly (windows is killing me). So I'm a little bit more agitaded. And I think my mind is looking for a sort of "reward" for the hard work (even though I had almost zero result). 

So it's time for meditation. Silence is in the end always the best reward for the mind. 

Ow and PS, If someone has any experience with installing a windows system, safe mode, booting, blue screens and errors, please let me know! I'm super duper fucked. 

 

 

Edited December 8, 2018 by Vitamine Water