60 day NO FAP challenge

[Shin]

13 minutes ago, Sahil Pandit said:

@Vitamine Water

22 hours ago, Vitamine Water said:

Not really, honestly. I did pick up qi gong exercise almost every morning. But there is still a lot I wish to change in my routine. A few examples:

- read 30 minutes a day

- meditation at 23:00, not randomly before I go to bed every night 

- morning meditation 

I just haven't found the energy to start them all. I try to pick them up one by one. Today was the first evening since like 2 weeks that I started painting again. I didn't feel tired and felt creative. But the weekdays are kinda killing me. Work and graduation is really tough at the moment so all of my energy goes to that. 

My hopes are to stay energetic when I get back home from work so that I can make time for my hobbys and spiritual/self development work

How about you? 

 

Get a room you two ???

[Sahil Pandit]

@Shin There's a "do not disturb" on the door.. but you know the secret knock 

[Vitamine Water]

Wink wink

[Shin]

18 hours ago, Sahil Pandit said:

@Shin There's a "do not disturb" on the door.. but you know the secret knock 

I don't share my meat ?

[Vitamine Water]

4 hours ago, Shin said:

I don't share my meat ?

I'm vegetarian anyways

 

[Sahil Pandit]

@Vitamine Water It's veeeeegan 

[Vitamine Water]

1 minute ago, Sahil Pandit said:

@Vitamine Water It's veeeeegan 

Haha sorry, let's not turn this into a meme page, we're super non-dualists guys!

 

 

 

 

[Vitamine Water]

Day 22: easy

The morning meditation did good. Even though I was extremely tired. I also ate more breakfast, something that was on my list for a long time. Normally I drink a banana-spinach smoothy in the morning, but now I ate 2 sandwiches AND the smoothy, which is "a lot" for me. And one glass of water. Doing the qi-gong exercise also makes me more hungry in the morning. I felt slightly more energetic at work so i will be doing this everyday for sure. 

As for the PMO, it was a quiet day. Only in the evenings I felt a little more sensitive to thoughts. If I focus on other things these thoughts go away easily. 

Edited November 19, 2018 by Vitamine Water

[Vitamine Water]

Day 23: easy

Good day, business as usual. I need some home alone time to put myself to the ultimate test. Maybe I'll send my parents to Disneyland for a few days

 

[Vitamine Water]

Day 24

Last night I had a wet dream. I woke up and was able to hold it mostly, but not everything. I felt pretty bad and disappointed when it happened. But I realised that it was totally out of my control. I didn't force anything, watched porn or had many sexual thoughts when I went to bed. A thought arose that I should just relapse (fully) , but I gave it no energy. Why would I? 

Also, I didn't feel like all of my energy was wasted and drained. I turned the disappointment 180 degrees into positive energy and fell asleep right after. I woke up and did my normal morning routine. Now, this evening, I still feel the energy and motivation I had before. So...we're moving on!!! 

Edited November 21, 2018 by Vitamine Water

[Vitamine Water]

Day 25: relatively easy

I'm having a slightly harder time with sexual thoughts after the wet dream. It's like I have them more often. Or I'm just more aware of them, I don't know. I think it's the first. This morning I woke up thinking about sex and masturbation and I didn't have that before with this intensity. But it's okay because finally something is starting to happen

 

[Vitamine Water]

Day 26: relatively easy

Same as yesterday. I'm getting turned on out of nowhere! I feel way more sensitive when I'm on my laptop or phone. 

A few months ago I downloaded a Google chrome extension which automatically blocks sites with sexual content. I believe it's called "block site" and it's a free download. It really helped me on my last nofap attempts. So to my fellow soldiers, check it out! 

Goodnight

PS: Tomorrow I'm going to analyse my energy level and how my body reacts to sexual thoughts 

 

 

Edited November 24, 2018 by Vitamine Water

[Sahil Pandit]

@Vitamine Water Have you noticed that you can't escape/suppress your emotions anymore? The highs feel more "wholesome" and the lows feel like they bring a clearer mind once they subside? 

[Vitamine Water]

49 minutes ago, Sahil Pandit said:

@Vitamine Water Have you noticed that you can't escape/suppress your emotions anymore? The highs feel more "wholesome" and the lows feel like they bring a clearer mind once they subside? 

I've never been someone to hide my emotions or feelings perse, but I do resonate with that my highs feel more real, more authentic. It's like i'm a child again sometimes, and I don't care what others around me think. I'm not sure it's a direct effect of nofap tho, but it is a recent event that i've been noticing. 

[Shin]

Nofap in one single meme:

 

[Vitamine Water]

Day 27: relatively easy

I'm gonna be straight up. Today I sneaked into my phone and watched porn for like one minute.I was on the toilet with my phone in my hand, browsing youtube. I realized how quick it can go and how quick my mind took action. Energy rose through my body and I could feel that tunnel vision focus of looking at porn. After closing the tab I took a few very deep breaths, which brought me back to the present moment. Immediately I didn't veel horny anymore. 

I'm on the edgy of a cliff here, so for now on no more porn. This was the first and last time. I have to be disciplined with my mind. Also, no more mental masturbation, literally. Sometimes a fantasy comes up, like when i'm in the shower, and I kinda delve into it. I'm giving energy to it without noticing it. And I'm sure this gives the brain a dopamine rush, although in small amount. Im not sure. But it feels like that. 

[Vitamine Water]

@Shin

 

[Sahil Pandit]

@Vitamine Water I'm at starbucks and this meme made me LMAO

[Vitamine Water]

Day 28: difficult

Today was the ultimate challenge. My parents were gone for the whole day so I had a lot of alone time. Normally on a Sunday like this I would definitely take my time to watch porn and fap. Maybe even twice a day. Get all kinky and stuff

And I definitely had those urges. My mind was spinning around a lot. But still, I didn't buy into it. I was telling myself to focus on the long term and not the quick fix.

I also did  SDS, something I haven't done in months. It felt great to trigger the ego again. Like this authentic voice is telling me to kick its ass. Afterwards I was way more aware of my sexual thoughts and I was able to just rest in the noticing. They just flew by, like clouds. 

It made me more motivated to focus on meditation and mindfulness. One of my biggest, most practical insights from my solo retreat was to be aware, every waking second of my life. 

Maybe I'm starting to see the bigger picture again. 

Edited November 25, 2018 by Vitamine Water

[Vitamine Water]

Day 29: easy

Yesterday was good. Less thoughts. This night I woke up again and I thought I had another wet dream. So I was relieved that It didn't happen again. 

Also having more breakfast feels good. I slowly begin to feel less tired in the morning and I have more energy at work. I eat more healthy snacks at my work too.