60 day NO FAP challenge

[Vitamine Water]

I hope that keeping a public journal will keep me more motivated to succeed on this nofap journey. Time to get serious. 

So... let's do this. No more excuses!! 

Feel free to ask questions or comment or whatever

Edited October 29, 2018 by Vitamine Water

[Vitamine Water]

Day 1

Relapsed..

Just kidding. Today went fine, no sexual urge or anything. I'm currently doing an internship at a design agency in Rotterdam. So most of my day is focused on work and school projects. It's fun, but it takes a lot of energy. I always take a nap as soon as I get home (around 6 or 7 PM). 

After that, I have dinner. In the evenings, when I have spare time, I make music , drawings, illustrations. 30-60 minutes meditation before I go to bed. 

Sometimes porn knocks on the door as soon as I try to close my eyes for a good night sleep. Damn you! I also live with my parents at the moment. So the urge to masturbate often comes when they're not at home. 

 

 

 

Edited October 29, 2018 by Vitamine Water

[Vitamine Water]

Day 2

Nothing serious today. The start is always the easiest part in my experience. On to the next day. 

[Vitamine Water]

Day 3

Forgot to post something before going to sleep. Was really tired the whole day. This morning I feel much better. Yesterday went well with no fap. I had some pretty intense eye contact with a lady while I was omw back to home from work. Normally I'm the guy who doesn't know how to react, but I kept my cool. I do feel I'm getting more experienced with girls, especially this year. I just feel more comfortable with communicating.

The hardest part for me would be to initiate a conversation with a stranger, or someone that I like. I just don't want things to get awkward and so I avoid starting a conversation. And I also don't know what to talk about and force some boring topic. Small talk is just not my kinda thing I guess. I'm more interested in the deeper topics you know. That's where I get my enthusiasm and energy from.

Its something that I still want to learn. How to approach women and start a conversation. 

[Vitamine Water]

Day 4

Nothing serious today. Work and school mostly. Watched a lot of TV this evening, something I rarely do actually. I didn't have the motivation to do something creative like drawing or music. So I ended up watching TV like a zombie lol. 

It's weird. Some evenings I have so much energy, and others are such lazy evenings. It's really not consistent and I don't like it. But I know what I have to do. I only need the motivation to do it. 

[Vitamine Water]

Day 5

It's the end of day 5. Time for meditation and sleep. 

So far so good. No real urge to fap today, even though I was home alone for the most part. Writing this journal makes me more motivated and dedicated to not relapse. Sex is barely on my mind (I don't have a girlfriend by the way). Normally a day like this is perfect for porn and fapping. Friday evening, home alone, you know the drill (haha). But like I said, the thought of fapping just didn't interest me. Instead I wrote music for the better part of the evening/night. Yay! 

 

[Vitamine Water]

Day 6

Okay let's add a grade of difficulty (is that how it's called?) for each day cuz why not 

I found this German picture on rock climbing on the web, which I'm gonna use as an analogy for my nofap proces (super genius) 

And this is my version/interpretation of the picture:

Stage 1: easy

Stage 2: relatively easy

Stage 3: difficult

Stage 4: very difficult

Stage 5: Extremely difficult (GOD MODE) 

So for future posts I'll be using these stages. 

Goodnight! 

Edited November 4, 2018 by Vitamine Water

[Vitamine Water]

Day 7: easy 

Good day. Although I can slowly feel the urge coming. I had a few of those moments and they got automatically blocked. 

Tomorrow morning I'm picking up my Qi-Gong exercise, hooray!! I'm feeling lazy and tired so this is a good start. 

 

Edited November 4, 2018 by Vitamine Water

[Vitamine Water]

Day 8: easy

Hooray! I actually woke up earlier this morning to do Qi-Gong. Time for a party!! 

Today went easier than yesterday, I think mostly because my mind is focused on work. I'm also doing more short breathing excersises during the day to keep my awareness. There is still a lot of mind fog and it seems so be on auto pilot for most of the day (which can be good for doing work but bad for training awareness). So I'll be meditating in the morning too. But that's for the future. I first have to get a solid Qi-Gong morning routine. I need More focus on physical exercise atm

Edited November 6, 2018 by Vitamine Water

[Vitamine Water]

Day 9: easy

Still no desire to watch porn or anything which is good! I used to masturbate maybe about 3/4 times a week. And my no pmo "record" is 16 days, which was kind of a shock to me. It proved that it was and is an addiction of mine.

But ive learned from my mistakes and I'm doing better at observing instead of acting on a simple "fuck it let's go" thought. Bringing awareness back to the breath seems to be really effective for me. But so far there's no need to use this technique. 

I'm way more tired than I was yesterday. After 8 I had no energy and fell asleep in bed. The physical exercise has to do its work. I'm eating healthy so that can't be the cause for my low energy. 

[Vitamine Water]

Day 10: easy

Nothing special today, business as usual. Freelance work in the evening until around 23:00 

[Vitamine Water]

Day 11: easy

What has changed in the last 11 days? 

- I'm feeling better about myself because I stick to a goal. And the fap cycle is a toxic cycle so it feels good that i don't buy into it anymore. 

 - I'm more aware of my body posture. I notice myself walking up more straight, shoulders back, more confident. 

- Overall confidence level is still the same. 

- less energy and I'm more tired (but I think this is because I'm feeling sick. My dad isnst feeling well too) 

 

Edited November 9, 2018 by Vitamine Water

[Vitamine Water]

Day 12: relatively easy

Today's morning and afternoon went fine, but in evening I started to feel an urge to watch porn. It got triggered by some random video on YouTube, in which two people talked about sex. Nothing serious but I was just more sensitive and closed the yt video to do something productive. Staying analog on this journey is very importanteee

[Vitamine Water]

Day 13 easy

This day went easier than yesterday, although I felt a slight urge to watch sexual content (ow yeah) . Because you know, I'm alone in my room, it's late, parents are asleep and im bored. Perfect time right?! 

Fuck no! Meditate! Drink thee! Play music! Focus on the long term effects. I don't have to beat my meat and feel good for a few minutes only to feel bad afterwards because I relapsed. Where's the good in that? 

The urge is very subtle tho. Even watching a girl in bikini on a laptop screen or whatever can trigger the loop. All I need to do is to not give energy to that thought. So far so good. 

 

 

Edited November 11, 2018 by Vitamine Water

[Sahil Pandit]

@Vitamine Water Good work! Try some shamanic breathing for 10-15 minutes and feel the energy all over your body 

Day +21 for me and i can relate to a lot of your posts. 

[Vitamine Water]

6 hours ago, Sahil Pandit said:

@Vitamine Water Good work! Try some shamanic breathing for 10-15 minutes and feel the energy all over your body 

Day +21 for me and i can relate to a lot of your posts. 

That's good to hear man, hang in there! Did you set a goal for yourself? 30, 60, 90 days or so? 

And thanks for the tip. I'll try the shamanic breathing

[Sahil Pandit]

@Vitamine Water 1 day at a time, looking to complete this month then re-evaluate where I am at! 

[Scholar]

Be careful not to repress sexual energy, it was a mistake I used to make. When you get aroused, note the feeling/energy in your body, the motivation and intense desire. Note what kind of things you would be willing to do if you actually had the opportunity to have sex, what kind of energy you would be willing to spend. Would you run a marathon to have sex with a goddess? Of course you would, in fact it would become completely effortless.

If you learn to transmute this energy and focus it into different aspects of your life, imagine what you will accomplish. Just picture this:

You are absolutely tired, you got 4 hours of sleep and it seems like nothing would be able to get you out of bed. Then imagine, if a willing beautiful woman would, in this state, offer you to have sex with her. What would actually happen to the energetic state of your body? Would you still be tired and unmotivated?

Your mind can give you intense energy at any point in time. Your body always has that kind of energy. If it came to it and your life was under threat, you would be capable of running for the entire day up until the point of unconsciousness. The only reason why it would seem impossible to you now is because your mind does not give you the needed energy and motivation. But trust me, if someone pointed a gun at you, within seconds, you would have the energy of Hercules himself.

 

What does that mean for you? Well, whenever you get aroused, try to notice what is happening in the body, and be conscious of the fact that you have a goal. Take that energy you feel, the arousal, and visualize how it goes through your body to fuel different aspects of it. Read up on sexual transmutation and do the transmutation each time you get triggered. Nofap will become a piece of cake. Each time you get aroused it's like a nugget of energy for free that you can transmute into whatever you want. I can literally, right now, take energy from a sexual fantasy and transmute it into my arms. It feels like a raging fire.

 

Though be careful and don't seek out sexual content or fantasy on purpose. When it happens, notice it, transmute it and continue with your day. You have to actually notice that your arousal is intense energy, and whenever you lose it by having an orgasm (even a wet dream!) you will also lose that energy.

 

Just realize this:

Sexual energy is the reason why you are here. It is the reason for why each of your billions of ancestors have survived, reproduced and evolved into what you are today. Imagine the struggle, the amounts of suffering, adversity, death and cataclysm your ancestors had to face, and each and single one of the succeeded. All of that motivated by the same energy that is motivating you to jerk off. We are talking about a force of nature here.

Look at all the animals out there, surviving each day in the wild. Look at their focus, at their relentless struggle. Look at the birds looking for food, chirping in the trees, flying across continents, feeding their young, always being on the look out for predators. That is not a simple task, and they give their absolute best every single day of their life. Now look at our civilization, look at the monumental energy it required to achieve this feat. The creative genius, the amount of mastery and dedication. All of this just because we really, really want to procreate.

Edited November 11, 2018 by Scholar

[Vitamine Water]

@Scholar Thanks A LOT for your story, it gave me a really useful perspective on nofap.

It's the exact reason why I started nofap, because I want to use this new energy to boost parts of my life. Especially to find energy and motivation to meet new people, build new relationships. 

And I have almost zero experience with sexual energy. So thanks for pointing it out. I will definitely research sexual/energetic transmutation!

 

 

Edited November 11, 2018 by Vitamine Water

[Vitamine Water]

5 hours ago, Sahil Pandit said:

@Vitamine Water 1 day at a time, looking to complete this month then re-evaluate where I am at! 

Best of luck my man!

And stay 'cool'