Should I date?

[Cocolove]

I decided to post this here as opposed to the dating section because of the lens through which I'm asking this question.

Background: I'm 16, extremely busy with school, barely have time to meditate and read daily. I can see a lot of potential if I continue personal development.  I am less busy on weekends. I left my last relationship because it was so shallow and we didn't connect on a deep level. I've the desire to be in a relationship in the last month or so. 

Question: Should I get a girlfriend/ date around?

Pro's: I want a girlfriend. It sounds fun. New experiences.

Con's: Less time to do actualization work. It won't make me truly happy. 

Part of me wants to spend my extra time working on myself because it will lead to greater happiness. The other part thinks that's a grouchy idea and I'm throwing away great experiences for no good reason.

I remember Leo said in a video teens shouldn't worry about relationships. I'd like to hear some more well thought out perspectives and advice.

[Andreas]

It depends on your maturity. If you arent mentally ready for a real relationship it can actually mess you up pretty bad. Im 16 too, and yes it happend to me. Just be honest with yourself and find out if you really are ready for a deep relationship, and if you aren't just work on yourself for a year or so. 

Edited October 28, 2018 by Andreas

[Sahil Pandit]

@TripleNipple Keep the main thing the main thing, always. However, I would say you should date and discover more about your authentic self as well as understand how females work and how radically different they are than males. 

Also, if she's into PD that would be a plus 

[Solace]

Seek first the Love within your Heart. 

Thats what is missing. That is what you are looking for. From that place you may be attracted to find a date, which then means it is authentic  

Best of Luck.

[Girzo]

Yes, it's fun. 5 days of dedicated work per week is enough. On weekends go and meet with girls or your firends, it will do you good.

[aurum]

@TripleNipple

Yes I would get a girlfriend. You need to have experiences.

[kieranperez]

What do you want?

Short answer: no. You don’t NEED to. The question here is if you want to.

[Equanimitize]

Wow, incredible opportunity at a young age, just want to say good for you!

I agree experiences are important, but one can also argue that you have plenty of time to be in relationships. Imagine if you keep diving deep into personal development work and you keep evolving as a human being how attractive you will be to your potential partner down the road. Once you love yourself, accept thyself, and continually grow thyself you will have a much better idea of what you want in a partner.

With that being said, you can also argue that the relationship can teach you so much more then any book or "typical" personal development work can. 

I would say do both, develop yourself and continually do the work while simultaneously learning about relationships. If you see a girl your interested in just go ahead a talk to her-nothing better then getting direct feedback from girls and also communicating what you are into and what your passion is (personal development). It doesn't have to be an either or thing is all I am saying. 

[Shin]

 

[AlphaAbundance]

Not doing both is an excuse