I can’t deal with people who treat me differently

[Roch]

For my whole life I’ve had to deal with my peers treating me differently. I haven’t really had friends because of this. I just can’t deal. What do I do with people who treat me differently? People are just so patronizing towards me. It makes it hard for me to get close to anyone who is “nice” because those people often end up being patronizing or overly caring. I don’t need to be cared for. What I most need is to be treated like an equal. But no one really does that with me. So I end up being alone. 

[aurum]

@Roch

People treat you the way you treat yourself and others. If you don't feel like people are treating you like an equal, ask yourself this:

1) How am I not treating others as an equal?

2) How do I not see myself as equal?

Really contemplate on this.

[passerby]

This may be bad advice, but it what worked for me. It MAY work for you, but you should give it some thought regardless. I DO agree wiith aurum... which is why sometimes its good to be TOUGH with yourself (which will make sense where i'm going with this when you read the rest of the post). in the same way a drill instructor is hard on the students to make them improve.

 

it used to happen to me to man. learn to stand up for yourself to people who patronize you, call them out on it, "don't talk down to me bro. I didn't do anything wrong by you so don't treat me like a piece of shit. coz I treat people how they treat me" if other people in the group take that guys side then "your a bunch of highschool kids. don't forget to put your kneepads on while sucking his dick".

I don't know if its the ONLY way, but it is what worked for me. Start being a loud mouth. people WILL pick on the quiet ones (agree?). I used to be confused how this one guy at my work everyone hated him and he was always a prick to people, I always wondered "doesn't he know everyone hates him?" then I realized that he always knew it, he just didn't give a fuck. Then I started doing the same and was surprised at how if changed my life.

People love to have, so BE the guy they hate, and not just they guy they can pick on when they feel like it.

Life is a game, a grand game. you get to pick your character, so be the one who people will put their head down when they see you coz they don't wanna get ear-bashed. Literally act crazy, start sticking your tounge out like a snake tasting the air (I love doing that shit to people, they don't know what to make of it).

start taking self defence classes, they will train you to stay calm in tough situations and how to stand your ground. and it will give you confidence. the type of confidence where you CAN say this type of shit to people as you don't care if they want to get pushy and shovey with you coz they got buthurt.

 

The key isn't to make people hate you because you hate yourself (it may seem that way, but it is NOT), think of it as giving people their daily RUSH of adrenalin and extracting emotions from them other than making a snide remark while others make a smug smile, how DULL! Make them think about how they are gonna give a good comeback at you next time you see each other. Whats that bro? you been thinking of me all day? how sweet, but I don't go for guys.

see what I mean man. Don't try to be another faceless 'yes man', "please accept me" kinda guy. Either A. Truly stop caring what they think and don't get bothered if they pick on you (easier said than done), or B. Stand up for yourself and claim your respect (ideal option), or if B don't work then B.2. Be a dick (and you may find yourself not caring what people think anyway, which accomplishes A). These are the options that THEY have given you, so THEY have to live with what you now choose to do. 

life is a game. and unless you want to hack the system (reach enlightenment), then take it by the balls. In fact, take it by the balls anyway, because once you have hacked the system and see if for what it is, your gonna take it by the balls anyway. start practicing now.

just because your being an ass doesn't mean you can't pursue enlightenment (if that's what you are trying to achieve). Remember, theres no right or wrong (no matter how wrong that sounds)

Jerk by day, consciousness explorer at night.

Edited October 27, 2018 by passerby

[Roch]

1 hour ago, aurum said:

@Roch

People treat you the way you treat yourself and others. If you don't feel like people are treating you like an equal, ask yourself this:

1) How am I not treating others as an equal?

2) How do I not see myself as equal?

Really contemplate on this.

1. Mainly mistrust. I get suspicious when people act “nice” or “helpful.” Probably because when I was a kid I had too much red and people saw that as me being immature and a bad person. Not really at red anymore.

 

2. I feel like I’m behind at life and people treat me like I’m behind at life. I sometimes have semi-enjoyable interactions with people, but then they end up asking questions like what year I graduated high school(I had to drop out) or even my name. I just love it when interactions with people flow and they don’t know my name or where I am in life. I don’t know why I hate it when people know my name. 

[aurum]

6 hours ago, Roch said:

Mainly mistrust. I get suspicious when people act “nice” or “helpful.”

What is the mistrust protecting you from?

[Roch]

15 minutes ago, aurum said:

What is the mistrust protecting you from?

People treating me like I’m younger or inferior. Or people knowing things about me in general. I feel nervous about people knowing what girls or music I’m into. Because it seems like everyone thinks their judgement is superior to mine. So I hide certain things to not deal with criticism or people questioning my judgement. 

[Shadowraix]

Have you contemplated if your projections on who they are are accurate? Have you ever had a serious discussion with those who you felt treated you in a way you didn't like?

Personally I feel like I would go to the moon and back for my friends. I would give them everything they could ever want if I could. Its not because I think they are incapable of handling life, its simply because I desire to reduce their suffering. People may think they are helping you when you think they are hurting you.

Edited October 29, 2018 by Shadowraix