Understanding "EGO" mind

[mohdanas]

I am going through a tug of war between by higher self and lower self. 

I go on cycle of living with higher self then lower self, I will spend few days with my digital addiction, masterbation, other lower conscious behaviour and then I will feel enough satisfaction than I muster my will towards the high self and doing meditation and working toward high conscious goals but in few days the spark will begun to fade and "very subtly I let myself be deceived by my mind" into getting to lower conscious behaviour again and then the cycle continues. 

I want to understand my ego mind, have presence of mind when it is trying to deceive and muster enough will to not surrender to that and develop life with my higher self. 

What are the solutions? perhaps a book or videos or advice from you all? 

 

 

 

[Forestluv]

13 minutes ago, mohdanas said:

I want to understand my ego mind, have presence of mind when it is trying to deceive and muster enough will to not surrender to that and develop life with my higher self. 

You speak of the "ego" as if it were a bothersome pet of yours.

Ego = self = delusion

The idea that "I want to understand my ego. . . " is a classic trick of the ego!

[Jack River]

32 minutes ago, mohdanas said:

What are the solutions? perhaps a book or videos or advice from you all? 

solutions feed the “me”...that being said understanding ego/self which is to understand thought?

Edited October 26, 2018 by Jack River

[mohdanas]

1 hour ago, Serotoninluv said:

You speak of the "ego" as if it were a bothersome pet of yours.

Ego = self = delusion

The idea that "I want to understand my ego. . . " is a classic trick of the ego!

this is exactly how it is for me atm, but isnt it suppose to be like this, isnt this what leo refers to lower vs higher consciousness.

I understand thing at grand scale and this is a delusion as well, but not all of us are ready to live out of illusion. Some of us need to settle few things here before we become more serious about enlightenment. 
 

Right, now I want to build on a career that is meaningful, this would be like meditation for me for now. 

[Forestluv]

@mohdanas I wish you the best in your endeavor ♥️?

[mohdanas]

3 hours ago, Joseph Maynor said:

What is the Egoic self?  Can you give me a paragraph?

Mind that focus on self preservation, comfort and pleasure. Mind that doesn't wanna care for other feeling. Mind that wants self gratification.