Questions for the girlzzz - the asshole vs the attractive guy

[billiesimon]

I can't get these facts straight. I have some female friends who have had experiences with assholes and I don't understand what's really in the female mind.

Disclaimer: I have already talked a lot with them about it and I already know their emotional experience, but I'm here to discuss it rationally and analize it with the actualized girls on this forum (guys too).

I have some female friends who have dated assholes for some months and then dumped them because of thei emotional shallowness.
Now, the issue that I have with this is that IN THE BEGINNING of their dating with these guys, they were emotionally addicted to them. We're talking about one or two months of dating, and then they rejected these assholes and moved on to find a more balanced guy. But the fact remains that they were absolutely hooked like hell in those short periods of time. And these are nice girls, not emotional whores who are addicted to drugs or alcohol and social media. In fact they moved on exactly because they are nice girls and not damaged souls.

But still I don't understand why they were MORE hooked by these assholes than by more balanced and actually cool guys.

What's wrong with female nature? I know I sound judgemental but I don't mean to. I just want to understand why girls prefer so much extreme negative emotions over a more balanced emotional guy (I'm not talking about boring plain guys).

I'm not here to judge, I just want to hear a female opinion and some insights!

[Shin]

These guys have some really manly traits in them, but it's too much and not balanced = Assholes.

You really can't do anything about that, these guys  know how to push those emotional buttons, it's just too easy for them.
Unless the girl is REALLY experienced and have some GOD LEVEL intuition, she will fall for it 100% of the time if the man has enough practice.

If you want to be a part of the solution, become as manly as them while balancing your psychee with your feminine side.
You opinion will have a lot more value to women (since a lot of them will be attracted to you), hence you will be able to persuade them some time to not fall for some of those guys if you sense they are not good for them.
 

Watch this video:

 

[billiesimon]

10 minutes ago, Shin said:

These guys have some really manly traits in them, but it's too much and not balanced = Assholes.

You really can't do anything about that, these guys  know how to push those emotional buttons, it's just too easy for them.
Unless the girl is REALLY experienced and have some GOD LEVEL intuition, she will fall for it 100% of the time if the man has enough practice.

If you want to be a part of the solution, become as manly as them while balancing your psychee with your feminine side.
You opinion will have a lot more value to women (since a lot of them will be attracted to you), hence you will be able to persuade them some time to not fall for some of those guys if you sense they are not good for them.
 

Watch this video:

 

Thanks for the deep reply. Yes, I've seen that video in the past, but he does not explain if women prefer balanced guys or assholes, he just explains the leadership/confidence traits.

To quote Ross Jeffries: "I don't care what women say they want, I care what they respond to". 

Saying "i want a nice guy" doesn't mean shit if they actually despise nice guys, or even cool badass balanced guys!

 

So again I ask you: between a balanced fully developed man and a hardcore asshole, which one will the woman date?

Are the emotional hooks so strong that the balanced cool guy would become invisible?

Edited October 25, 2018 by billiesimon

[Shin]

1 minute ago, billiesimon said:

Thanks for the deep reply. Yes, I've seen that video in the past, but he does not explain if women prefer balanced guys or assholes, he just explains the leadership/confidence traits.

 

So again I ask you: between a balanced fully developed man and a hardcore asshole, which one will the woman date?

Are the emotional hooks so strong that the balanced cool guy would become invisible?

If the girl is very high quality and conscious she will be very warry of those hardcore assholes.
She would have date a lot of them in her past and had learn to discern patterns on their behaviors.
She will react to that by becoming inconsciously more conscious (lol) and develop enough intuition to go for the more developed men.

Random/average girl, yes, they will, 100% of the time though.

[billiesimon]

6 minutes ago, Shin said:

If the girl is very high quality and conscious she will be very warry of those hardcore assholes.
She would have date a lot of them in her past and had learn to discern patterns on their behaviors.
She will react to that by becoming inconsciously more conscious (lol) and develop enough intuition to go for the more developed men.

Random/average girl, yes, they will, 100% of the time though.

So basically in a completely practical manner, it's better to be an asshole than an actualized guy to have success in dating.

If average women tend to prefer the asshole over a cooler guy then it makes no sense to be a nice man with them.

I'm sorry if I'm being materialistic and cold but this is just the cold truth. I'm just analizing the facts.

[Shin]

21 minutes ago, billiesimon said:

So basically in a completely practical manner, it's better to be an asshole than an actualized guy to have success in dating.

If average women tend to prefer the asshole over a cooler guy then it makes no sense to be a nice man with them.

I'm sorry if I'm being materialistic and cold but this is just the cold truth. I'm just analizing the facts.

No, you can be even more successfull in dating by being a good man, you'll have even more qualities to attract women.
It's just not as easy.

Don't assume that being successful in dating will make you happy though, because it won't, especially if you go the asshole way, which is a highly narcissitic and selfish way to live life.

Being happy has nothing to do with success or achievements, if your goal is to happy, go for it directly.

Edited October 25, 2018 by Shin

[billiesimon]

48 minutes ago, Shin said:

Being happy has nothing to do with success or achievements, if your goal is to happy, go for it directly.

Yes but I'm not talking about me here. I'm not interested in the asshole route, I'm just studying the dynamics.

 

48 minutes ago, Shin said:

No, you can be even more successfull in dating by being a good man, you'll have even more qualities to attract women.
It's just not as easy.

Sorry, I think I'm not getting it.

You said that the girl will always choose the asshole because the emotional charge is so powerful that she falls for the trap. How the heck is the cool good guy better at this if he doesn't use the extreme emotions?

[Shin]

2 minutes ago, billiesimon said:

Yes but I'm not talking about me here. I'm not interested in the asshole route, I'm just studying the dynamics.

 

Sorry, I think I'm not getting it.

You said that the girl will always choose the asshole because the emotional charge is so powerful that she falls for the trap. How the heck is the cool good guy better at this if he doesn't use the extreme emotions?

Because he can embody those masculine traits and use them without going overboard/being abusive.

It's not either you're an asshole who abuse women versus being a nice guy who can't attract his own fart lol

[SFRL]

Because girls are assholes themselves. 

Like attracts like 

[bejapuskas]

2 hours ago, billiesimon said:

I have some female friends who have had experiences with assholes and I don't understand what's really in the female mind.

Disclaimer: I have already talked a lot with them about it and I already know their emotional experience, but I'm here to discuss it rationally and analize it with the actualized girls on this forum (guys too).

At the exact moment that he knew... he f*cked up.

Just kidding, it goes deeper than that. If you are familiar with spiral dynamics, this might help you. Colour like beige, purple, red and blue have been on this planet for thousands of years, they have become almost natural, in contrast to orange, which is here for like 300 years or so... Humans are not affected so much by biological evolution (but its getting faster with birth control), so they are very fixed to the history of their genes, its all memory.

Imagine, that you are a man in a tribe, a few thousands years ago, you see an enemy emerging and its a death fight. Either you kill all of them and their girls will love you, or they kill you and all your friends and also family and will use your mum, daughter, cousin as a sex slave. This is subconcious instinct. Who do you think would have a bigger chance of surviving in these circumstances?

Of course, the evolution of attraction goes deeper than this, but this is how ti generally works from what I know.

[billiesimon]

50 minutes ago, Shin said:

Because he can embody those masculine traits and use them without going overboard/being abusive.

It's not either you're an asshole who abuse women versus being a nice guy who can't attract his own fart lol

Ok, you mean that they have fully developed their masculinity and so they have the same skills to attract a woman but at the same time they are pleasant to date. Well, that's nice to hear!

[billiesimon]

24 minutes ago, bejapuskas said:

At the exact moment that he knew... he f*cked up.

Just kidding, it goes deeper than that. If you are familiar with spiral dynamics, this might help you. Colour like beige, purple, red and blue have been on this planet for thousands of years, they have become almost natural, in contrast to orange, which is here for like 300 years or so... Humans are not affected so much by biological evolution (but its getting faster with birth control), so they are very fixed to the history of their genes, its all memory.

Imagine, that you are a man in a tribe, a few thousands years ago, you see an enemy emerging and its a death fight. Either you kill all of them and their girls will love you, or they kill you and all your friends and also family and will use your mum, daughter, cousin as a sex slave. This is subconcious instinct. Who do you think would have a bigger chance of surviving in these circumstances?

Of course, the evolution of attraction goes deeper than this, but this is how ti generally works from what I know.

Yes, I'm very familiar with spiral dynamics. 

Well, I already know this theory, but that's only the most primal level. If you go around town smashing sexual competitors' heads, women won't date you.

In fact in the attraction community it's very well known that aggressive males in modern liberal countries are not attractive because women in the first world tend to be attracted by social and sexual skills, which are leadership and success-related skills.

The "aggressive male" prototype was useful in the early days of humanity, while over millennia women started to select more and more men based on the tribal/civilizational skills. Which means: great leader, great influencer of people, great seducer, great explorer, great emotional fitness. 

In fact if you go around in the clubs and bars and parties you will see that the most successful guys with women are very peaceful BUT also emotionally manipulative with people, which makes them great leaders of a social circle.
That's because human sexual selection evolved to become more socially oriented than violence oriented.

Edited October 25, 2018 by billiesimon

[non_nothing]

A lot of man falls into trap of only thinking from one side. Actually shit and beta guys fall into the same trap too, they chase after each available pussy to get a drop.These two are actually the same fking thing.

 

Tbh, I hate pussy and beta guys as much as I hate beautiful and dumb girls.

[non_nothing]

2 hours ago, billiesimon said:

So basically in a completely practical manner, it's better to be an asshole than an actualized guy to have success in dating.

If average women tend to prefer the asshole over a cooler guy then it makes no sense to be a nice man with them.

I'm sorry if I'm being materialistic and cold but this is just the cold truth. I'm just analizing the facts.

You're being too much emotional and self-dependent on this one. There're no cold fact. You want to believe and come up with some cold facts.

 

In fact if you're plan is to have sex with every possible female then yes actualized guy scenario will not probably work good there.

This is very shallow. It's like you have no preferences and quality. And I bet you lack some. Stop believing such things and cold facts about asshole guys. Feature yourself. Would you eat everything just because you're hungry? Would you eat a cow's crap? It's the same thing when compared to your mentality over here.

Edited October 25, 2018 by non_nothing

[thehero]

@Etherial Cat  so what more qualities in Green/in a person do you like/are important? what are turn offs? 

 

Confidence - how unattractive is a lack of confidence? can i go up to girls and be authentically shy and still get the girl? i can get "green girls"? 

Masculinity - how much do you value this? how much of this do i need to be? 

Femininity - how much femininity is okay?

i have this thing where i have to be not feminine, not shy, not insecure, not awkward, funny, confident, dominating, need to have social proof (through instagram, or friends) or otherwise i can't get the girl

can i get the girl if i ended up being all of the above?? or do i have to heal first 

Edited October 25, 2018 by thehero

[billiesimon]

37 minutes ago, non_nothing said:

This is very shallow. It's like you have no preferences and quality. And I bet you lack some. Stop believing such things and cold facts about asshole guys. Feature yourself. Would you eat everything just because you're hungry? Would you eat a cow's crap? It's the same thing when compared to your mentality over here.

I never said this is for me. I actually said that I'm not interested in being an asshole prototype, but I'm just inquiring the social dynamics. in fact I have my own detailed preferences about girls.

[non_nothing]

@billiesimon Why to magnify other people then? Let them do whatever they want to do. Your title already begins with a comparison towards some attaractive guy and asshole guy.

[billiesimon]

32 minutes ago, Etherial Cat said:

No.

The woman you want to attract is not the average woman. The woman you want to attract is the self-actualized woman.

 

Well, yes. I personally prefer a more evolved woman. But this doesn't confict with my interest in social dynamics of the average people.

[SFRL]

@billiesimon you want to attract a woman who fucks, cooks, cleans, right. 

[billiesimon]

10 minutes ago, non_nothing said:

@billiesimon Why to magnify other people then? Let them do whatever they want to do. Your title already begins with a comparison towards some attaractive guy and asshole guy.

It's just a clickbaity title  I'm curious about the feminine, and what the feminine feels. I've had problems understanding women in the past so I'm curious now to reintegrate this.