People in my life making me Sick

[Revolutionary Think]

No secret that I'd like some financial freedom in my life. One obstacle stands in my way people and how AMAZINGLY full of shit they are. The game of money is somehow the game of Bullshit. Ever since my young age I've had problems finding a job because I had to be that bullshiter instead of the authentic person. Now though I never want a minimum wage job unless it's one in the field of 3D printing or at least if I'm happy to do it and I don't feel like a drone. I recently joined this company called Financial Education Services that teaches people about money, how to fix their credit and improve their credit score, and protects their identity. I had this one millionaire friend who I was so looking forward to join that in the end kept saying he would and didn't because of some stupid reason. 

Really it's starting to eat away at me I'm being an authentic person in this bullshit world and it is painful. Feels like I'm swimming in a cesspool of shit. So many broken promises and people not following through on what they say they're going to do. It's like their word means absolutely nothing and they're living in some bizzaro opposite land world. Everything you're told is some stupid crap on how they were too busy, they forgot, and/or it wont happen again there was just this one thing. The problem is that I really don't want to deal with these people but, I have to if I want my business to go anywhere. I don't know feels like I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place and the only way to get anywhere in this bullshit world is to fill myself up with the same shit that they're full of. I feel sickened to my core at time. Through all of this I have my best friend who is not like that and fortunately this guy I met recently. It's just that this society is so entrenched is crap and the fumes reach out to outer space and I feel like I'm suffocating in it. The worst is that from time to time my family is no different. 

[Leo Gura]

When you're starting out you gotta be humble. Setting your sighta so high that you are too good for lesser jobs can be the biggest load of egoic bullshit. You rarely start life with a cushy job. You gotta work your way up to it.

It's not about you getting a good job, it's about how much value you bring ot the table. If you ain't bringing lots of value, don't expect a good job. And bringing lots of value requires expertise and skillz.

It's a bit of a catch-22, but it is possible to build up your skillz on your own and develop a juicy portfolio of work on the basis of which you will entice an employer to hire you.

[Revolutionary Think]

Well let's see... I've worked at McDonalds for 2 years. Then I've worked a boring office job after University for another year. Then I went for 6 months of vocational training then I worked for an orthodontic lab 3D printing models and training with them until he just never got back to me out of nowhere. Then I found Mars Academy USA and was the 3D printing officer and engineer over there and I've did that mission with a flight surgeon and a pilot who was also a doctor. OK so I got that under my belt now I'm with financial education services. Problem is I got offered a 3D printing job I'm in West LA and it's all the way in Pasadena the traffic alone will make me pull my hair out because it's 2 hours of it there and back. 

The good news is I just finished an innovative planning path in toastmasters and I'm on my way to becoming a mentor. I know 100% that public speaking is my strong suit I don't get shy or afraid and that's the one place that my authenticity is valued. I know if I find a job as a speaker I will absolutely kill it but, that's just the problem where do those jobs exist. What I have to do is to enroll to speak competitively and put the recently awarded innovative planning toastmasters badge on my LinkedIn profile. Also even when I show how much value and expertise I have it doesn't matter because these people who are full of shit don't even give me the time to show case it. 

[K VIL]

@Revolutionary Think all I hear is waaing. Dude think revolutionary.

[Revolutionary Think]

@K VIL All I hear is bullshit. Is that the same thing you'd say if you threw a person off a cliff and just said don't complain just fly? 

[K VIL]

@Revolutionary Think No i suppose it wouldn't? I understand it can be challenging to get footing into the workforce. there are less bullshitting companies that are hiring. I won't detail this too much but let me know if you want more of my "bullshit".

I stated all I hear is waaing. Go back to your original post, do you hear that at all ? (Imagine a post could speak. I know 'hearing' is the wrong verb)

If you don't hear it at all, in the voice of Leo, "gooood". You see, it's totally possible that I hear something that does not exist. Maybe there was no complaining in your original post at all. Maybe i am clueless!

Now remember how you responded that all you hear is bullshit?  Could it be that there is more to my post/the job market/other people than bullshit?

 

[Revolutionary Think]

@K VIL and @Leo Gura It's not about ego and it's not about complaining it's about not being able to figure this thing out, looking for logic where logic doesn't exist and a complete fucking mind fuck. OK let me address the ego thing I threw my ego in the garbage when it came to working for McDonalds for minimum wage while I was getting my degree at University. I said I'm paying my dues and I am NOT above this job even when it came to CLEANING THE BATHROOMS AND THROWING OUT THE TRASH. I did that for TWO years and not a promotion in sight because I was ignorant enough to keep my mouth shut and think they'd notice my hard work. So fast forward to graduation day I got my degree didn't work there and worked in my uncles office that made me feel like a brain dead zombie. Then I looked up an article online SPECIFICALLY for the purpose of learning skills SO I COULD USE THOSE SKILLS. I even made a DIGITAL AND ANALOG PORTFOLIO while I was there and I had a job as a teachers assistant where I learned those same skills to reinforce them at the same place where I learned them. Then when I APPLIED to a job to USE those skills they said I didn't know one specific thing and they didn't want to train for it because it was going to use time and money. OK then I applied to another job at an orthodontic lab that HIRED ME ON THE SPOT then ended up never getting back in touch with me after two days of training. OK SO NOW Y'ALL KNOW. Sometimes society is an ABUSIVE LYING SACK OF SHIT THAT YOU CAN'T TRUST AND WILL ALWAYS FIND A WAY TO MANEUVER ITS SLIMY NASTY DICK INTO YOUR ASS NO MATTER WHAT YOU DO. 

If there is anything I learned is that I can only trust myself and sometimes not even then, life is unfair as fuck, and although I hate to admit it yes complaining wont help and I have to maneuver my way into cutting societies dick and shoving it up its own ass. I will have to use my creativity and do something desperate that will go viral or just keep looking for ways of being creative or full of the same shit society is so in the end I can come out as the authentic trojan horse in this shitty unhelpful crappy society I live in. 

[Revolutionary Think]

I know I used some really colorful language but, my anger is abating because something I was really looking forward to and would change my life for the better was about to go through and it didn't. Not the first time this has happened to me. 

[Girzo]

You are overreacting. Get your stuff together and cheer up.

[PsiloPutty]

I don't think I can help you, other than to say I'm sorry that you're struggling right now. 

[lmfao]

@Revolutionary Think That's unfortunate. I hope you've at least exorcised some pessimism and negativity in your system by typing your thoughts and feelings on this forum. It's always the same story for all of us miserable creatures lol, the external world doesn't conform to our egoic desires so we feel down. 

[Elysian]

17 hours ago, Revolutionary Think said:

@K VIL and @Leo Gura It's not about ego and it's not about complaining it's about not being able to figure this thing out, looking for logic where logic doesn't exist and a complete fucking mind fuck. OK let me address the ego thing I threw my ego in the garbage when it came to working for McDonalds for minimum wage while I was getting my degree at University.

You're confusing the definition of ego that the general population uses with the ego that's been mentioned above. You mean ego in the sense of overly prideful, but the ego meant by others here that have been trying to help you is your identity with the mind and personality; or your identity with that which you are not.

17 hours ago, Revolutionary Think said:

Sometimes society is an ABUSIVE LYING SACK OF SHIT THAT YOU CAN'T TRUST AND WILL ALWAYS FIND A WAY TO MANEUVER ITS SLIMY NASTY DICK INTO YOUR ASS NO MATTER WHAT YOU DO. 

If there is anything I learned is that I can only trust myself and sometimes not even then, life is unfair as fuck, and although I hate to admit it yes complaining wont help and I have to maneuver my way into cutting societies dick and shoving it up its own ass. I will have to use my creativity and do something desperate that will go viral or just keep looking for ways of being creative or full of the same shit society is so in the end I can come out as the authentic trojan horse in this shitty unhelpful crappy society I live in. 

This is just one example as to why your ego has been mentioned and why some others are just saying they hope you get something out of this temper tantrum/venting.

You think the whole world is against 'you', and that you're being treated 'unfairly', this is simply the egoic mind throwing a fit because it's not getting it's way exactly the way it wants it. You're taking everything too personally, and that's because you're too identified with the person you think you are. Society isn't out to get you, it doesn't have an objective. And you think 'your' life is horrible because a few things haven't completely bent to your will, but do you know how silly that sounds?

Life isn't yours to manipulate and bend to begin with. Authenticity is about letting life flow through you effortlessly, there is no trying to strongarm life when being authentic. Authenticity is the opposite of ego, so don't let your ego claim the world doesn't accept your authenticity, that's completely contradicting. 

Something that might help is to meditate on appreciation for what you have, and to do some research into shadow work to figure out and work through this anger you're  feeling.

You mention how bad you have it, but reality is that most of the world has it much harder than you. You live in a first world country and were blessed with the opportunity to go to university. You probably have a roof over your head with food to eat and clean water to drink. Your very existence is a blessing that your egoic mind didn't earn or deserve. How many millions of years did it take to develop that brain of yours to the level where you could have the capacity to complain on a device you didn't even help design, with a language you didn't help write, about problems that your ancestors wished they had just a century ago? How about trying to express a little gratitude? Just take a second to breathe, and recognize that very breath is a gift you didn't earn. You didn't really earn anything in this life, it was all given to you. Spend some time meditating on that, we're so lucky to be born in this time and place.

The reason why it seems not many are being helpful in this post is because they don't think it's possible to get through to you in the clouded state you're in. Maybe I'm naive in trying, and maybe you'll consider this effort I've made just a personal attack because of how ingrained your ego is into your identity, but I really wish you the best. It seems your own mind has turned against you, and you need to do some deep reflection on what is going on within you.

Here is an authentic, enlightened human being talking about mind having reign over your life, I hope it resonates with you. If so he has much more valuable insights on YouTube, something authentic human beings have regularly.

 

[Revolutionary Think]

@Elysian Well I appreciate you actually taking the time to write that. You know what the real deal is though. This lack of money and lack of a job doesn't even bother me that much. A few years past I was in a deep depression but, I am actually feeling much better than I ever did. I guess you could say it started when my aunt started hounded me for not having a "stable" job when I showed her some awesome stuff about how Mars Academy USA accepted me for a scholarship. Then she kept hounding me about how I needed a 9 to 5 bla bla bla. Then later my mom starts talking about a job too and it drives me crazy that they don't know the current realities of this job market. Well me on the other hand I'm happy not even caring and I am working on some projects now that aren't making me money but, are surrounding me with an awesome network of like minded individuals. 

It's just that when my mother or my aunt start attacking me for my lack of a "job" I can't stop thinking to myself how incredibly stupid it is that I want this "job" myself and it's a little bothersome that I don't have it. Yet instead of them actually helping me achieve this goal and doing something to help they start attacking me instead. Then I go back into that place of frustration because of it it's like being in between a rock and a hard place and it's exactly the way I felt when my parents divorced. Other than that yes I agree with most of what you said about how lucky I am that I'm not in Syria or some other place being bombed and losing my family. It's just that this whole job thing is bothering me on how ignorant people are. I'm glad I have this community to vent to and I'm glad that there are people out there who care. I just wish we lived closer  so whenever my family starts hounding me I could get away from them and transport myself to people who are on this journey with me. 

Anyway a lot of amazing thinkers and people throughout history had this happen to them. Surrounded by people who made their lives hell, didn't understand them, and didn't believe them yet they were the ones mostly remembered through history and who changed the world. So I think it's just a matter of time for me. I really thought with something that was going to happen that time would come sooner rather than later but, I know that patience is a virtue. Sometimes it's just really hard being on this path alone with no one who understands you. So thanks for taking the time to understand. 

[Elysian]

Just trying to help.

I'm just inferring that since you aren't making any money and your family is telling you to get a job that you don't have your own place. You're saying you don't mind not having money or a job, but that's only because they are paying for your living expenses. I've been where you're at, both with the depression and trying to fulfill a dream before I got my life together. That said, I know you're not going to like to hear it, but it's not unreasonable for them to want you to take care of yourself.

It can be really stressful not living in your own place, especially if the person taking care of you wants you to assume some responsibility. The thing is though, if you're an adult it's not their place to take care of you. They do it because they love you, and they don't want to see you on the street, but one shouldn't take advantage of that compassion. I did it myself, and it just didn't feel right. Sometimes I misinterpreted those feelings of guilt as them wronging me, but it was actually the other way around.

My advice is to get a job doing whatever you've got to do to be able to afford a place of your own and take care of yourself. You might not be able to get the job you want, but that's ok. Most people don't get right into the job they want as soon as they come out of college or become adults. But the amount of stress, anger, and anxiety that you're probably feeling right now will be significantly reduced just by getting your own space. Being able to do what you want, how you want, when you want, with no one telling you want to do, knowing that it's all because you worked hard for it, is priceless.

I ended up getting into the trucking industry so I could get my own place. It wasn't a glamorous job, it wasn't what I wanted to do with my life until I die, but it did allow me to take responsibility for myself. You might be thinking, well if I get into a field that isn't my dream job then it might take me years to get to where I want to be. That's probably exactly what it means, but are good things supposed to come easy? Enlightenment might not even happen in one's lifetime even if they are completely dedicated to reaching it. Nothing worth having comes at zero cost.

Just ask yourself this, what if your family decided to stop working and said to take care of them while they try to do something different with their lives? Would that be unreasonable? Of course it would be, they're their own persons, if they want to have a dream come true they need to make it happen themselves. You say they are making your life hell, but no one can make your life hell other than you. If you love your family, then do what you can to at least not be a burden to them. They're not even asking you to go above and beyond by being something more than just not a burden.

Just as an example, someone that I love as deeply as I know how, also happens to be the most intelligent and spiritual person I know. They could probably work on the SpaceX team to help get us to Mars, or find a new cure to a previously incurable disease, they could honestly probably do anything they set their heart to. They are that bright. Even though they are that much of a blessing to the world, their mother had a severe alcohol addiction. So much so she got into an accident from driving drunk, and became bed ridden for some time. This person loved their mother so much that they put their life on hold to make sure she was ok. They took a job waiting tables to make ends meet. Being who they were they quickly moved to a high end restaurant to a head waiter position. They made enough to pay for a 2 bedroom apartment in a safe area, take care of their mother, and have extra money to pursue dreams of their own. His mother even put off working even after she could start for several months, still needing to overcome alcoholism, but being as loving as they were they continued to support her. Thankfully after some tough love nudges she finally got back into her career field prior to the accident, which let him go on to continue with his life.

And I say all this just to show you what going above and beyond for your family looks like. But all your family wants from you is to take care of yourself. I'm trying not to be hard on you, but I just wanted to put things into perspective. I know recovering from depression is really hard, it might be the hardest thing I've ever had to do, and so I'm not downplaying your situation. But everyone close to you, including you, will be better off by you stepping up to the plate. At least long enough until you are able to make your dreams come true.

Hope this helps.

[Revolutionary Think]

@Elysian So how is it my fault if I'm not getting hired when I followed all the rules. On one hand I should be ashamed of myself for not earning a living on the other hand I shouldn't think that a job is an entitlement? OK that's just stupid! Seriously I went through the training and the work to have the job and yet the job isn't there? So I don't know how you got your job maybe you can enlighten me on that. 

[Elysian]

If you can't currently find a job in your desired field that doesn't mean it's 'your fault', but it isn't guaranteed that you'll find that either. That's just the way life is right now. There's multiple reasons for that, like the mass influx of university students, not choosing an in demand field, more qualified candidates, among other things. It could take time to get into more sought after positions, maybe even some interning. But regardless you're in the situation your in, and you need to take care of your basic needs. You've got to take care of the basics until you can get into a more optimal situation.

If you mean how I got into trucking it only took a few weeks of training to do that. I knew it was an in demand field because there is a shortage of truck drivers, which means I'll always have a job if I ever need one. Same goes with nurses, electricians, welders, engineers, you name it.

If you mean a job after trucking, I don't have that. I'm not actively pursuing a different field at the moment either. I've got more immediate issues to take care at the moment. I have health issues I'm addressing, making lifestyle changes, doing shadow work and spiritual practice. The thing I'm the most passionate about is singing, next being sketching. As far as singing goes I sing every day, and am currently learning music theory while also saving for a piano I'll be getting next month. I just moved into a new place recently which is taking up free time, but when I get more available time I'll be putting more time into sketching as well.

My interests might be even more problematic financially than yours. I might not ever be able to make a living singing or sketching, but even if that is the case I'm willing to do what I need to to allow me the freedom to partake in my passions in my free time. Hopefully that won't always be the case, and I can make a transition into doing one of those hobbies full time, but I'm just grateful for the opportunities I have right now. I can sing while I'm driving, and sketch on my 2 days off a week. That might seem like a bummer, but I've got the chance to pour my heart and soul into a passion of mine. What else could I ask for? Not to mention having enough extra funds to afford a piano, it'll make learning music theory so much easier!

[Revolutionary Think]

What kind of education do you have? 

[Revolutionary Think]

According to @Leo Gura though since this is all determinism I don't have a choice... and neither do they. I don't have a choice in having a job they don't have a choice in not hiring me and I didn't have a choice in making this rant. The crazy thing is though that would that also mean I don't have a choice in becoming pissed off even though that I notice I'm being pissed off? Like does determinism even determine a persons emotions even when he or she is conscious that those emotions don't serve them then again is a person not serving themselves to the fullest also a product of determinism this is some crazy stuff over here... It's like does determinism determine all of that... If you'll keep having the same habits or not does it determine a person who busts his ass never getting to where they want an a person who hardly lifts a finger getting everything handed to them on a silver platter. I wonder... This is some crazy ass mind fuckery right here. Now though I don't feel mad I just feel at peace realizing this... Back to the old drawing board then. 

[njuufa]

I feel you man. Its a problem of giving and taking. Almost everyone are stressed and insecure at the workplace. But if you only focus on "take money and fuck off" then you are like others. There is no growth possible to learn how do handle these stressful moments.

Do not try to come up with a ways to change their mind-set. It will just create more layers of misunderstandings.

Just be you and if they start acting like dicks again then give more of yourself rather than taking it too personally and hide away.

It actually feels good to ease others up by sharing your gifts + you will learn much more about others this way then judging them from the distance. 

When they start again with their petty life issues then give more, if they just wont stop then you probably are still taking. Its a fine art that takes some time to get used to it until you have no problem easing up even the most difficult types if you need something from them or just trying to keep harmony going. 

It doesnt take anything to set up something better to talk about. Time, Energy ? Well that is that small talk again we were tired of listening. 

its not a social skill its a spiritual practice and move you towards stage yellow as well.