Mechanically Raising Self Esteem

[MM1988]

Has anybody some techniques that are basically mechanical step by step processes to raise self esteem that I can do?

I'm just not the kind of guy who reads something and then everything clicks or whatever should happen. Everything I read for me is just information stored on a very unemotional surface level.

I also don't want to go out and do crazy shit in public and stuff like that. I want to work at it alone from my home.

 

Bonus Question: Are all emotional problems like depression somehow linked to self esteem? It seems like a big part of a healthy ego. I know my ego is not healthy because I get shit automatic thoughts throughout the day that bring me down. At the time I'm just trying to brute force against it with daily hour long positive affirmations.

Edited October 24, 2018 by MM1988

[d0ornokey]

i've been doing the 6 pillars sentence stems. for me the consciousness stems were a game changer. business, relationships, confidence and overall mood are a lot higher now

[Aimblack]

What has helped me improve my self-esteem is 1. fixing my posture 2. breathing correctly 3.being mindful whenever I get automatic negative thoughts and just observe them. The most note able and almost immediate boost was when I started to stand upright and walk properly.

[MM1988]

@Aimblack any guides for posture?

[Aimblack]

@MM1988 I just experimented a lot and looked into a mirror to see what looks and feels right.

[Your place at Heart]

On 10/24/2018 at 3:10 PM, MM1988 said:

@Aimblack any guides for posture?

Buy posture corrector and wear it 24/7 and take it off when you sleep.

[Joseph Maynor]

The best way to raise your self-esteem paradoxically is through Enlightenment.  God Awareness doesn't need anything or desire anything from Maya.  Once you realize that Ego is an illusion, that gives you incredible self-esteem.  In fact, you're the only thing that actually exists!  Self-esteem is actually a non-issue because it depends on Others existing.  If you're all that actually exists, then self-esteem is a non-issue. 

Edited October 27, 2018 by Joseph Maynor

[WindInTheLeaf]

Stop looking in the mirror, and face whatever makes you uncomfortable little by little.

I was dealing with some social anxiety of pretty severe if I may say, walking down the street I felt like all eyes were on me judging my every move, so I sheltered myself off from the world and if I had to go out and about I put in my headphones and my hoodie covering my head, shoulders down keeping my eyes on the ground. I realized that this could not go on so one thing I did amongst others is I got a job at a supermarket as a cashier. I'm the beginning it was like torture but I started with just saying have a nice day to everyone, and slowly I started getting eye contact and started asking small things, you know 'putting myself out there' and little by little the uneasiness went away. I spread this out to everyday life where I wasn't hiding behind the uniform of 'just some cashier guy', and just started interacting with people I met as I was going about doing what I was doing.

It was like my comfort zone was so little, so I tried to spread it little by little, at first small steps but later bigger and bigger steps (although didn't feel that way, like the reverse actually as it got easier and easier until it just happened by itself). It's like as soon as I got a flow going it just happened on its own, but boy was that first few steps terrifying. It was like I had gotten into this narrow lane of conduct and slowly I had dug myself down without realizing it. The first step was like I had to scape a mountain of dirt, but when I reached the top it was all down hill from there. 

[moon777light]

On 10/24/2018 at 9:37 PM, d0ornokey said:

i've been doing the 6 pillars sentence stems. for me the consciousness stems were a game changer. business, relationships, confidence and overall mood are a lot higher now

i just started the stems  yesterday and its already made me so much aware of my personal bs and how i always get in the way of being my best self. 

The book is probably the best thing to get lasting results. Its going to take at least 6 months, since you have to integrate 1 pillar at a time for at least a month. 

Stop affirmations. It wont help you get you to the root of the problem. The thing with affirmations is your body feels one way (i dont have self esteem/im insecure) yet you say to yourself contradcting thoughts like "i love myself" which isnt true at the moment. It just causes confusion in your body and you end up wasting an hour a day of your life. If the oyu get 6 pillars book, skip the theory at the beginning because its too excessive. Dont half ass it because you wont get any results. 

[Colin]

WIth affirmations, I tend to inquire about the statements being made. So if the statement is "I am authentic" I will look at it and kind of say silently "am I authentic?" 

Then I look of an example in my life of where it is true and I can say, ah yes, awesome. If there is an example of where I am not authentic I become hyper-aware of it. It does not solve it automatically, but It can bring it into awareness.

This is very subtle stuff here with affirmations. To me and along with knowledge, they are only good insofar as they help you make better decisions. 

I am not a fan of knowledge for knowledge's sake. They are only a catalyst, the real power is within you.

@moon777light Also careful with getting too hyped about a product you have not thoroughly tried yet. It is a recipe for disappointment.

[Colin]

@moon777light You might get a kick out of this

 

Edited October 27, 2018 by Colin

[kieranperez]

On 10/24/2018 at 0:27 PM, MM1988 said:

I also don't want to go out and do crazy shit in public and stuff like that. I want to work at it alone from my home.

Then you’re not going to build self-esteem. It’s that simple. If you wanna repeat affirmations and lie to yourself and create a fassade of self-esteem, go right ahead. Real self-esteem is built out in the world, not by you living in a fantasy bubble visualizing and brainwashing yourself more and lying to yourself. 

I know this through experience. There is no shortcut to this stuff. Self esteem exercises through things like journaling and stuff are support systems that enhance personal growth as like a little boost to supplement the work you do out in the world. 

Stop looking for shortcuts. They are a waste of time. Trust me on this.

I also agree with @Joseph Maynor however, depending where you are, you’ll need to do some real healthy ego work. Truth is the answer to all your depressing problems in life at the end of the day but that doesn’t just necessarily mean sitting on a cushion all day doing enlightenment work. That also entails being honest ALL THE TIME and never letting up. It entails taking action and doing the emotionally difficult thing and persisting through  that. It may mean taking psychedelics and having a horrifying trip and see all the trauama and suffering you’ve been projecting and then integrating all of that through say shadow work and dream work. It entails being more compassionate and loving and stop being a selfish bastard by taking your problems so seriously and personally.

 

[Artaemis]

@kieranperez I really like how honest you are sometimes. Its brutal. 

[kieranperez]

43 minutes ago, Artaemis said:

@kieranperez I really like how honest you are sometimes. Its brutal. 

And all this time I thought I was coming off as an asshole