Why am i so afraid of going deep on spirituality?

[Recursoinominado]

Is this fear of Truth? Fuck, i noticed that i am on this spiritual path but constantly pressing the breaks when the water gets knees deep. For instance, i acquired DMT almost a year ago and never had the balls to going for a breakthrough, twice i tried and stopped halfway in because i was afraid.  I keep bitching about how i live in Brazil and it is so hard to find some quality psychedelic, while i have some DMT on my room and i can use it whenever i want. I think i fear going crazy or something, i have lots of cases in my family although i consider myself resilient and can handle a lot and i have a hint about how deep this reality investigation goes. Would love some advice with this issue...

Edited October 21, 2018 by Recursoinominado

[Leo Gura]

Because that "I" does not exist.

[Forestluv]

Because you don’t want to die. 

[Recursoinominado]

1 minute ago, Serotoninluv said:

Because you don’t want to die. 

How this "I" knows it is going to die if a psychedelic is consumed, for example? "It" knows the Truth? This "I", deep down, knows that it is false?  

[Jack River]

4 minutes ago, Recursoinominado said:

Is this fear of Truth?

Fear/self clings to thought and it is inherent in the nature of thought that self clings to itself which is its content. As long as fear keeps resisting what is, itself, identification with thought will remain to escape that fear. self always looks for security. Truth can not come from this conditioned action. So yes everything about self/thought denies truth. It’s implicit in its very nature dudes. 

 

[Forestluv]

23 minutes ago, Recursoinominado said:

How this "I" knows it is going to die if a psychedelic is consumed, for example? "It" knows the Truth? This "I", deep down, knows that it is false?  

The “I” wants to control the narrative. It wants to retain control and keep the game going. It will use lots of tricks to frighten, allure, distract. 

What you are going through is a step every self-actualized person goes through - including Buddha as he sat under that tree. 

There comes a point when one needs to place Truth higher than security and comfort to go deeper. This is when most people turn around.

Pschedelics are the most potent self-killers out there. Truth is an acquired taste.

[Jack River]

11 minutes ago, Recursoinominado said:

How this "I" knows it is going to die if a psychedelic is consumed, for example? "It" knows the Truth? This "I", deep down, knows that it is false?  

It goes both ways though. self can easily feed itself by taking that psychedelic. This is also fear in action. Fear and Truth do not go together. 

Some may even see not consuming something that your body rejects as infinite intelligence taking action as to protect the organism. Just a thought though dude

Edited October 21, 2018 by Jack River

[Jack River]

 all this confusion, suffering, conflict, isn’t somthing that happens to ”you”... “You”, the confusion, suffering, conflict, fear, are the doing itself. It's all one process. It’s sustained by your action to find somthing other than what is. Truth cannot be pursued. Pursuing in this case is still fear in action. That prevents truth itself. When we understand the intellect and what fuels it holistically it totally comes to an end. 

This understanding is not limited to the intellect either. Truth itself SEES and that seeing is complete action. 

Edited October 21, 2018 by Jack River

[lmfao]

@Recursoinominado cuz you're a pussy 

[cirkussmile]

35 minutes ago, Recursoinominado said:

How this "I" knows it is going to die if a psychedelic is consumed, for example? "It" knows the Truth? This "I", deep down, knows that it is false?  

Yes. Deep down something know that this I is false. You’re correct. 

Take it easy with it. Do small doses and increase little by little. No breakthrough is just a lot of fractals

[Forestluv]

1 minute ago, lmfao said:

@Recursoinominado cuz you're a pussy 

Be careful. Ego death can be serious business. 

[Forestluv]

1 minute ago, cirkussmile said:

Take it easy with it. Do small doses and increase little by little. No breakthrough is just a lot of fractals

IME, the sub-ego death zone is the roughest part of the ride. Above and below is smooth sailing ⛵️ 

[cirkussmile]

1 minute ago, Serotoninluv said:

IME, the sub-ego death zone is the roughest part of the ride. Above and below is smooth sailing ⛵️ 

Good point! 

[Recursoinominado]

@Jack River Man, there is a LOT that i need to realize yet, i just learned this.
@lmfao ahahaha LOL you are right

@Serotoninluv I find that too, the two or three times i used DMT sub-breakthrough was rough as fuck, lots of fear, i had some realizations about reality because of how radically the perception is altered, is shocking and i fear what more there is.
  

[Arkandeus]

There's a difference between Spirituality and chasing spiritual experiences 

Chasing spiritual experiences can lead you to your worst fears and even beyond that, a lot of pain, not that you will not rise above that to become better but it can be more then you bargained for  

On this forum and with leo's videos there is plenty of information to live a spiritual life, in fact with all these modern day trip reports id almost argue there is not really a need to do a dmt trip yourself, people recount their experiences and thats enough to absorb the vibration  

Especially with psychedelics if the feelings of fear are more present and vivid then feelings of joy and excitement I do not recommend, psychedelics reflect and intensify 

[Forestluv]

5 minutes ago, Recursoinominado said:

 

@Serotoninluv I find that too, the two or three times i used DMT sub-breakthrough was rough as fuck, lots of fear, i had some realizations about reality because of how radically the perception is altered, is shocking and i fear what more there is.
  

Once you breakthrough it’s smooth sailing.

I don’t go to breakthrough depth very often because it can be so intense to get there. And the lessons are difficult to integrate.

IME, the ego and resistance lessens and surrendering becomes less dramatic

 

[Forestluv]

2 minutes ago, Arkandeus said:

There's a difference between Spirituality and chasing spiritual experiences 

Chasing spiritual experiences can lead you to your worst fears and even beyond that, a lot of pain, not that you will not rise above that to become better but it can be more then you bargained for  

On this forum and with leo's videos there is plenty of information to live a spiritual life, in fact with all these modern day trip reports id almost argue there is not really a need to do a dmt trip yourself, people recount their experiences and thats enough to absorb the vibration  

Especially with psychedelics if the feelings of fear are more present and vivid then feelings of joy and excitement I do not recommend, psychedelics reflect and intensify 

The OP is is approaching a spiritual space, not chasing an experience. There is a dreading of the ego death experience.

One can learn about the psychedelic experience from others, but that is NOT a substitute for direct experience. Ya gotta go there yourself.

That fear, joy and excitement idea is delusion of avoidance.. We are not talking about riding a roller coaster - we are talking about dying. Of course fear may be part of the process. 

 

[Hellspeed]

Do a hacking trick for your system. Stay awake at least 3 days in a row while you listen to Breath above anything. This will give you fast access to your own body's DMT faster. Once you dissolve to a certain extent your ego naturally, you can move on from there.

Best of luck!

[Joseph Maynor]

11 minutes ago, Hellspeed said:

Do a hacking trick for your system. Stay awake at least 3 days in a row while you listen to Breath above anything. This will give you fast access to your own body's DMT faster. Once you dissolve to a certain extent your ego naturally, you can move on from there.

Best of luck!

Yeah?  Prove it on yourself first and then come tell us about that.

Edited October 22, 2018 by Joseph Maynor

[Jack River]

It can also be said that ego feeds off thinking any experience will end itself. All actions taken as fear looking for a way out feed the ego. No ego dies from an experience. Experience fuels ego and ego influences experience. Insight into all this starves the ego of all action that sustains its own life. 

This totally brought about an ending of conditioned action. Actually very crazy how we feed the beast thinking otherwise. The nature of the beast is that beast feeds itself to starve itself. 

Edited October 22, 2018 by Jack River