Uncomfortable text conversations

[Baldmunt]

Hey guys, i need your advice!

So i met a girl on a vacation one month ago and we fell in love. It was coming from both sides and we had a really good time. We decided to meet each other afterwards and last weekend i drove to meet her (she lives a long distance away). That two days were amazing, nothing to worry about and real love. Also glad to say that i'm finally not virgin anymore. We had sex and she said i was the only bed partner who made her orgasm. (my first time, if its honest thank you leo for your videos ;)) So i was on top, skyrocketing and my confidence was raising. We will meet again in about 2 weeks. I'm into self-development for 8 months now and i'm getting better and better at all aspects of life.

We have still contact through texting but its not the same as in real life. Its all short, dull and it makes me confused on how she is feeling. I hate it and when we talk through skype its all soo much easier. 

In the whole proces of meeting each other in real life was not needy at all. I liked to play 'the game'. But once we start texting i don't really know what to do. I want to talk and have good conversations but its all shabby and leads to nothing. In someway it makes me feel insecure and needy what is the opposite of being attractive. So for me it's like skating on thin ice and its getting worse every day. The only thing i'm holding on to is that we both start conversations but in fact it feels like i'm the one who needs to lead. Its going up and down. (after the day we met we had long conversations and she send me an overload of messages)

How can i get past this phase? And why is she acting so weird. 

Edited October 21, 2018 by Baldmunt

[Forestluv]

@Baldmunt Texting in a long distance relationship can be awkward. I don’t like it either. 

I’d casually tell her I prefer skype conversations and slip in the basics of what you wrote - I’d be easy going about it. I wouldn’t escalate it into some mellow dramatic “issue”.

[Roman25]

Don't see it as something stressful or negative. Have fun. It's very important to be honest when you are talking to girls. Being a liar destroys friendships and builds a bad habit. So just be honest with her about how you feel and what she means to you.

I personally hate texting. It's annoying since there is no body language involved. Reading words on a screen isn't enough for humans to interact and have potent affect on each others.

[Spiral]

You need to more playful and "flirty"

Here is a zip-file, that will probably help: http://www.theattractiveman.com/f/downloads/texting-cheat-sheet.zip

These are some examples: http://theattractiveman.com/members/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/Texts.txt

I haven't tried them, so take them with a bit of salt. Must of them seem alright.

"The attractive man" is responsible for these, all credit should go to him.

Edited October 22, 2018 by Spiral

[Charlotte]

@Baldmunt Texting in general can be awkward because you can totally misinterpret the context. 

Maybe try cutting down on the texting and keeping to Skype and phone calls. 

[ajasatya]

@Baldmunt let go. seek real experiences.

text messages aren't meant to fulfill the depth of human connection. we've gone through millions of years of evolution by touching, hearing and seeing our partners.

the only way i've seen ldrs work is when both have a crystal clear practical plan to marry and live together.

Edited October 22, 2018 by ajasatya

[wavydude]

Nothing to worry about, it's actaully very good and natural that you prefer real encounter to texting.

My advise would be don't try to force it and artificialy hold the conversation if you have something you want to share like something that happend this day or else, go ahead and do it and when conversation naturally run out just go about your day like you would anyway.

Edited October 22, 2018 by wavydude

[Baldmunt]

Well its getting better but it's still up and down. I guess i have to be okay with it and don't mess up my own thoughts. We skyped 2 days in a row and i felt so much more comfortable. Although its still hard because sometimes we run out of things to say and i can't "touch" her. Kinda awkward but i try to embrace he silence! I'm really looking forward to our new meeting (2 weekends in a row). The only thing that helps is that we are building up some tension untill the days we see each other :)!

Edited October 22, 2018 by Baldmunt

[Baldmunt]

Update: She is my girlfriend now! It's a long-distance relationship (2 hours drive) but we made the decision to try it!

In real life we are on fire, but on whatsapp its sometimes silent. I want to text her but don't want to be 'needy' or telling stuff that is going nowhere. Most of the time i don't know what to say on whatsapp. I hope i can handle these silences... 

[F A B]

1 hour ago, Baldmunt said:

Update: She is my girlfriend now! It's a long-distance relationship (2 hours drive) but we made the decision to try it!

In real life we are on fire, but on whatsapp its sometimes silent. I want to text her but don't want to be 'needy' or telling stuff that is going nowhere. Most of the time i don't know what to say on whatsapp. I hope i can handle these silences... 

Congrats!

I'm in a LDR too, but we are much farther than you two, anyway.

We don't like texting so we keep it short. Just something like "good morning" or "I'm going to the gym".

Then if we get enough time, we have a video call after dinner. If not, nothing.

You just can't chat every time.

In a LDR you have a lot of time for self development. Enjoy that and give her space to do the same.

Good luck ?

 

Edited November 16, 2018 by F A B

[K VIL]

thats my boy 

[pluto]

Delete Texting from your Entire Existence. Its a cancer in disguise.

[Privet]

I had the same problem. It turned out that she was suppressing the desire to engage in texting because she was afraid to look needy and tried to always write things that are smart and interesting enough instead of authentic.

If you feel close enough to each other try to discuss it with her. Simply suppressing the desire to text didn't work for me no matter how hard I tried. I know how you feel 100%, you probably feel like a kid that tries to get attention from a busy adult when you text her. Don't dismiss your need for connection as merely neediness, especially in LDR.

[Dareghost]

I understand you, I happened me too. The best thing to do is not texting much and to speak much with the telephone and videocall.