Is It Normal For My Girlfriend To Talk To Her Ex?

[carlo]

she told me that he is just one more friend, that is just a boyhood friend (and its true), but im very very jealous about it

and that is making me depressed, 

I need advice please!

[Sarah Marie]

@carlo I encourage you to search why you are feeling jealous. Not sure it is normal to talk to an ex or not. I know I do not. 

[DizIzMikey]

@carlo  Tell her, you need to cut it off with him if you wanna be with him....tell her... plenty of fish in the sea

The moment she says she's not willing.. don't convince her... just let her go.

That'll shock her and she might wanna ride your dick... because that exerts confidence 

Than...after you keep her and she agrees.. solve your problem of jealousy..investigate this shit...

Because it'll end up coming back to bite  you in the ass if you don't take care of it..I SHOULD KNOW

You don't find out why you're jealous.. IT WILL HAUNT YOU FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE!!!!!

STAY WITH ACTUALIZED.ORG AND MASTER YOUR PSYCHOLOGY.. Leo is a genius.

Better yourself man and it'll be alright  <3

 

But whatever you do... don't stay with her if she doesn't respect your boundaries ..the ones you have at this very moment man .. please don't do that to yourself

Love and Peacce

 

 

[clytaemnestra]

On 4/26/2016 at 5:35 AM, DizIzMikey said:

Tell her, you need to cut it off with him i

But why? If you spent a lot of time with someone, for me it's normal to stay in touch. I chat with my ex once in a month-two, I ask him how he's doing, is everything okay and that kind of stuff. I don't want anything with him anymore, but I like to know he's doing from time to time. And it helps me to realize how I am growing, every time I have something new to say.

And I don't think that it's a solution of the problem here. He can do that, and even if he forbids her communicating with her ex, if he continues being jealous, there'll be somebody else, and he'll go like that in circle. The solution is to find inner peace in your relationship with her and to talk things out, because eventually she'll do what she wants, not what her bf asks her to do. So, communicate with her, and be sure you're a high quality man, because when a woman meet that kind of man, she doesn't want to cheat on him because firstly she has in her relationship what she wants and secondly, she doesn't want to lose high quality man. And a jealousy isn't a characteristic of a high quality man, those kind of men are self confident and can handle every situation. So, in conclusion, find out why you are jealous, try to fix it and communicate with her if that's still a problem.

[FindingPeace]

6 hours ago, clytaemnestra said:

And a jealousy isn't a characteristic of a high quality man, those kind of men are self confident and can handle every situation. So, in conclusion, find out why you are jealous, try to fix it and communicate with her if that's still a problem.

Well said.

[Harry]

@carlo Why are you jealous?

From what I have seen jealousy stems from two main issues: 

 

1) Feelings of inadequacy. If you feel like your girlfriend is too good for you you will expect her to cheat. Because why would she want to be with you when there are so many better men out there?  

This is a problem with you, not her. Fix your self-esteem or watch her leave you.

 

2) Lack of trust and lack of faith in your partners integrity.

If cannot trust your partner, your relationship is already doomed. 

If your partner cannot be trusted, and you know they will cheat if they have the chance, then no amount of you forcing them to stop talking to guys is going to make them suddenly faithful. Leave them and find someone who has some integrity.

Edited May 5, 2016 by Harry

[Armand]

@carlo I could not trust a female that likes to talk to her ex if they had dated in the past. If she still keeps that guy around then she could use him as a fall back type of deal. Any minor fight you have could easily send her in his direction. That's a deal breaker for me man. When I'm in a relationship with someone I cut off all ties to other people that may pose a threat to our happiness. It's just disrespectful to continue talking to any ex's if you are serious about someone. One of my best friends got married, but told me on his fucking wedding day that he hoped his ex gf would come and stop it. He actually invited her just so that she'd come and try and stop it. She didn't care enough to make it. He's still married to his wife, but still will message his ex every time he sees her relationship isn't going well on facebook which is making his wife pretty angry.

Disrespectful is how I see it.

[Harry]

@Shiva Brilliant advice.

[Donald]

Did she knows about you being jealous ? If not just take the time to talk to her and be very specific on what bothers you . The solution is not breaking up , it is finding out why are you jealous and work on it . Like , really work on why are you jealous. 

Breaking up means you are escaping from the problem , finding out why are you jealous and work on it is the hard work right ?

So do the hard work?

[charlie2dogs]

On 4/2/2016 at 10:11 PM, carlo said:

she told me that he is just one more friend, that is just a boyhood friend (and its true), but im very very jealous about it

and that is making me depressed, 

I need advice please!

you said:

she told me that he is just one more friend, that is just a boyhood friend (and its true), but im very very jealous about it

and that is making me depressed, 

If it is true as you say then why are you jealous, you dont know that it is true, you have doubts about that is why you are jealous and you are very insecure about yourself.  Jealousy is a human emotion particular when you cling to or have expectations of others or you want to be the center of her attention only.  my advice is drop it, get over it stop this thought process you have going on, and enjoy the relationship, what is a relationship without trust, it is nothing, and if you are going to be jealous and depressed over it, you will only destroy the relationship,

[homesickalien]

Interesting.  I still talk to 3 of my ex boyfriends and I'm in a committed relationship. First ex guy I talk to because I still care about him, not romantically but as a human being.  He was into hardcore drugs, and last time I heard he might be in jail.  He has isolated himself and everyone around him hates him for being a junkie.  When we speak I check in with him and try to cheer him up. He is deeply depressed, and as an on and off sufferer of depression myself, I know what it does.  2nd ex, he's just a cool guy. He's fun and smart,  but we weren't on the same page when we were dating so we decided we are better off as friends and it works.  3rd ex, we used to talk a lot but he got married last year so we hardly ever make contact (his wife checks his phone LOL).  While I don't feel bad that I don't keep in touch with 3rd ex, I do miss talking to him about sci-fi films. So why am I giving all this info to you?  Because as you can see, in my personal experience I stay in touch with exes for various reasons that have absolutely nothing to do with my boyfriend.  To me these guys are just people that I can interact with and that I know.  I don't know if this happens to other women, but I can interact better with men instead of women.  I created relationships with these men, and aside from the physical / romantic part, there was a friendship. Can I stop talking to them ? Sure, but that will never change the fact that I presently love my boyfriend deeply, I respect the trust he's granted me. I am loyal to my boyfriend and he knows it, he would never ask me to stop talking to an ex.  My advise to you, do not let your insecurities ruin what you have. If your gf cheats, she didn't cheat on you, she cheated on herself by lying.  If she cheats you will be free from remorse or guilt, that's freedom, true honorable freedom. Stay cool. 

[Will]

On 26/04/2016 at 11:35 AM, DizIzMikey said:

Leo is a genius.

Leo is no genius .. he just applies himself.. we could all learn a thing from his commitment..

[smd]

On April 2, 2016 at 9:11 PM, carlo said:

she told me that he is just one more friend, that is just a boyhood friend (and its true), but im very very jealous about it

and that is making me depressed, 

I need advice please!

It sounds like underneath you have possessive and needy behavior, but I think if there is a lot of physical contact between them then you have a problem.  If she's flirting with him in front of you, then you need to tell her you don't appreciate it.  It's disrespectful.  That's why they call it a relationship: there is supposed to be a stronger connection between you & her.  If she's ready to be swept off her feet by somebody else & making it obvious that she's looking for a replacement, you need to let her go.