From friend to girlfriend?

[Peter12]

Hello guys

I need some help about a relationship with a girl

She is from a circle of friends and i met her recently, in the beggining i didnt liked her that much but, after some talk with messages i started to like her more and more because we have a lot in common and things like that, im very selective about choosing a woman to talk with, she is more or less everything i ever wanted in a girl. 

The thing is that she is more like a rebel, she have done a little bit of self development work and she s very smart, as i said, a lot in common 

She is not that kind of girl that want affenction, i think. But she is spreading  alot around her. 

We talk alot in messages and i enjoy everytime, this is what made me start this topic, so now, i dont know what should i do, she is treating me like a friend and i m doing the same, but now i feel that i have to take action, the thing is that i dont want to make her feel bad or to be in the point of never talking again with her, should i stop talking to her? She said also that she doesnt need love in a context of conversation, but i dont know if she was serious or too small thinking, we were talking about life purpose. Also, she doesnt show any sign that she likes me,. 

So, what do you think? Leaver her? Should i wait for her? (is worth for me), i have to mention that in the first year of colegge and she s in the 3rd year of highscool, and im in a different city, i also told her to make the colegge here after she finish the highschool... 

Any advice is welcomed! 

Edited October 18, 2018 by Peter12

[ajasatya]

@Peter12 develop the habit of looking deeply into people's eyes. learn to feel people. nobody else can tell you how to lead your own intimate life. that's your job.

[Emerald]

Maybe try to flirt a little bit with her. Nothing too major... but just enough to give her the suspicion that you might be interested in being more than friends.

Suspicion here is an important word. If you are too direct, she won't have anything to figure out. And when women are figuring out a guy's intentions it's often when the attraction comes about. 

Otherwise, just keep it lighthearted and like you would normally approach the conversation... only weave in a tiny bit of innuendo and/or flirting. 

[aurum]

@Peter12

I know you're young, but the real answer is don't end up in this situation in the first place. You already drove your car off a cliff, and now you want to know how to reverse your car in the air before it crashes. Just don't drive off a cliff.

In this case, that means you don't want to end up in a situation where she's basically friendzoned you and it feels like you're trying to claw your way out. No good.

Instead, you should be somewhat flirty with every girl you meet. And if you want her as a friend then tell her that too.

I know that doesn't really help you with this current girl, so here's my advice on that. Try teasing and flirting with her a bit. If she's not receptive and doesn't show any interest, don't make it a big deal. Still be friends. But also, I would stop messaging her.

Girls will basically do what you want them to do. If she doesn't show any interest and you keep rewarding that behavior by giving her attention and affection, she will keep doing it. Conversely, if you draw a boundary by cutting off the messaging, you're making it known what is acceptable to you and what isn't.

It doesn't mean she will automatically like you if you do that. Probably not to be honest. But you've got to see the bigger picture besides just this one girl.

I know this might seem kind of complicated, so if you've got questions feel free to write back.

[Peter12]

You said some interesting things, the fact is that i will rarely meet somone like her, her paradigm is very similar to mine and that s why i m starting to like her, also i do make some moves while we are messaging and i see that she is giving more and more interest in me, i will keep thing like this, i dont think she doesnt like me at all but either she isnt the kind of girl that think small, time will resolve everything. I can wait, anyway i dont want to spend time searching for other girls cuz is very hard to find for me personally, i will just wait, and when i will have the occasion i will make a bigger step by taking some walk just the 2 of us and see how we are responding to each other, recently i found out that she had a boyfriend but it didnt last for long and the way i see it is that i have more in common than her ex, i think is an advantage at the moment