Dealing With Emotional Dependance of Womens Opinions

[Shroomdoctor]

So I had my first date from cold approach today and I got reminded how easily I feel deeply hurt by simple comments.

Stuff like:
"I only said yes because I didn't want to say no."
"I didn't want to hurt your feelings so I agreed."

These simple comments dropped my mood from good to bad and my confidence just broke. Its such a dumb thing. I constantly felt like she didn't like me and i got harder and harder to hold up a conversation. Escalation by touch became impossible inside my mind. I saw (or thought of seeing) every little detail that showed how she didn't like me and thought I was a looser. I don't understand why I care so much. I don't care when I approach and get rejected, but being on a date and starting to feel like she seems me as a non-prospect just friends thing just freaking breaks me. Like I know intellectually its bullshit and I hate being that vulnerable. I don't want to base my own self worth on the opinion of women but I still do it. It drives me crazy. Its like a deep seated hurt and fear. I know it comes from the bullying I received in middle school, mainly from girls, but I thought I got through that (mostly). 

 

I would gladly appreciate any advice on how I can work on that.

 

[NoSelfSelf]

That was her test its what test do test your strenght and if she sees that you are weak she will gradually lose interest you should answer in playful way like it doesnt bother you like i love my feelings get hurt by someone i dont even like yet in playful way...i know it hurts...dont escalate touch wait her for her invitation that touching is okay...enligement work and self development will decreas it or you will get used to it...

[Truth]

You do realize that wasn't her opinion.. it was YOUR opinion and what YOU were reading from her. Look at all the projection you put onto her --> " I constantly felt like she didn't like me. Escalation by touch became impossible. I saw (or thought of seeing) every little detail that showed how she didn't like me and thought I was a looser."

and notice how you created your own negative emotion in your self. This is why meditation is so huge, when you see your mind going there you can just TURN IT OFF.  Interpretation is everything. If she's out with you, It's safe to assume she's at the very least curious about you. If she continues to go out with you on hang outs or dates within 2-5 dates its safe to say she likes you and it's your job to test how close you can get to her and KNOW that she's comfortable with it and that's something you gotta learn through trial and error. In the beginning you should definitely be focused on having fun and nothing else, anything else is a distraction from fun. keep your focus on fun. 

Edited October 19, 2018 by Truth