Stage yellow pick-up

[bejapuskas]

Hey guys!

Lately, I have been thinking about having a relationship, in order to get even more support and the classic Napoleon Hill type of sex drive motivation. I think that if I would find someone, who would resonate with me, it could open up a whole new dimension of growth.

The problem is, that I am 15, there are no yellow girls in my age - the country I live in is very blue - and I am generally not attracted to the girls from tier 1 of the spiral. I am also not that good with girls, even though I am not as terrible as I used to be.

I dont think this is some kind of solution to all my problems, but the thing is, that there might be something to it, you never know without trying. If I find such a girl, probably later in my life, I should probably be ready for that...

Do you have any suggestions? Does anybody have a similar issue?

[YaNanNallari]

You can improve yourself to attract those good girls and also be good enough for them. A change of perspective can sometimes do a lot.

Then you can also improve your situation, which at 15 would probably mean being active socially to find more people and options. 

[SFRL]

@bejapuskas your ego needs to make something special out of this. Now you can't just bang bitches. You have to bang bitches the yellow way. 

It's just banging bitches. Go do what you got to do. You don't need any ones approval. 

[bejapuskas]

@YaNanNallari I did not say that I am not improving myself or that I am not social  

[bejapuskas]

@Lorcan Thanks for answering, but I think that you misunderstand my question, I am not needy or horny, I actually want a girl, that has a deep need for growth, just as I do. Socializing is not a problem of mine, same with the lack of sleep. Stop making out things in your head!  I would never date a casual girl that I would probably find in a bar, I hate meaningless partying... 

[bejapuskas]

@SFRL  I want the yellow attraction from both sides, not just mine, otherwise it doesnt make sense...

[SFRL]

31 minutes ago, bejapuskas said:

@SFRL  I want the yellow attraction from both sides, not just mine, otherwise it doesnt make sense...

First of all you should ask yourself if you embody Stage Yellow. 

Second of all you are 15. That means you are in the market for girls 13-16 years old. They are just learning to apply make-up. Some of them have not even had their period yet. 

Think about how many people on the whole population embody Stage Yellow. And then how much that is true for 13-16 year olds. 

You are creating problems for yourself before they have even started. 

Edited October 18, 2018 by SFRL

[bejapuskas]

@SFRL I see what you mean, I know that its very hard, its not like a problem or something, I am just looking for perspectives of other people. Otherwise, I dont feel any stress or anything like that  I am pretty sure that I am yellow, but there is still plenty of work to do... 

[SFRL]

29 minutes ago, bejapuskas said:

@SFRL I see what you mean, I know that its very hard, its not like a problem or something, I am just looking for perspectives of other people. Otherwise, I dont feel any stress or anything like that  I am pretty sure that I am yellow, but there is still plenty of work to do... 

I think you should go for a girl who is more on the hippie side of things. Strategically speaking that's the closest thing to what you have in mind.

[bejapuskas]

@SFRL Or I can also just wait, I am ok with being single  I have just never had a healthy relationship...  I dont even know, what its like

[Lynnel]

On 17/10/2018 at 8:32 PM, bejapuskas said:

The problem is, that I am 15, there are no yellow girls in my age

Don't worry you'll get along very fine, you're as blue as everyone there.

There is no one at stage yellow at 15 years old. You're just not mature enough.

[bejapuskas]

@Lynnel How do you know that? 

[Hello from Russia]

Although i'm in a relationship with a girl right now who has good chunks of yellow in her I don't think it's that necessary to neurotically try to find such girl on purpose in your age. Any green girl would suffice and be of great value 

[Girzo]

I can guess that what you will really crave in girls is not some arbitrarily given color, but their integrity, morality, sense of humour, emotional development and physical atractiveness.

Forget all this color tagging. At 15 years old you are probably mix of blue and orange, which is excellent considering your environment is heavily blue-skewed. Maybe even with some green, because we are talking on Actualized.org forum.

Giving yourself and girls you like an yellow badge is only ego-pumping.

[SgtPepper]

Just keep looking till you find a girl that you resonate with. 

And a serious intimate relationship with definitely grow you. Doesn't necessarily have to be a romantic relationship. Having children for example will grow you too. 

[bejapuskas]

Please stop thinking that I am blue, depressed, neurotic and craving. You have never met me in your life. You dont know what is happening inside my head, just from reading this text. I understand, how my question sounds blue, I should probably just think about it on my own, someone close this thread please.

I use colour tagging, because it would be probably the same as writing out the values... I am not saying that I am 100 % yellow, I still have orange and green, but I am growing fast. Stop assuming that everyone who asks this kind of question is blue and neurotic. If you watch Leos videos, make notes, reread them and then actually do what he advices you to do, you can be so ahead of your peers.

The name of this question is actually a joke, if some of you didnt get it  

[7thLetter]

@bejapuskas Wait a sec, let me give you my perspective on stage yellow. Rather than trying to judge you and telling you what stage you are, just let me share some of my insights and then maybe it could help you determine where you’re at. Because only you can know where you’re at, although the ego can get in the way and blind side you. Especially being age 15, a lot of teenagers don’t fully know themselves yet. Even people in their 20s or 30s don’t know themselves yet. It takes A LOT of introspection and studying for someone to fully understand themselves. Also, to know about Spiral Dynamics still isn’t enough. One must apply it and go through the processes.

Being at any one of these stages determines the way you live your life. I don’t know what your life is like but here is my perspective on stage yellow behaviors and maybe you can try and compare.

Stage yellow actually lives a life of very complex analytical thinking. Because of this complex way of living, they can be a bit too preoccupied with their thoughts, so often times they have little to no friends at all. Several reasons why they tend not to have many friends is because they find more value in learning at home or some place, than to waste time socializing. Another reason can be because they tend to know the most and it can be a bit frustrating when other people don’t understand them and their complex ideas so it can definitely turn into a bit of arrogance (in the early stages of yellow) on the yellow person’s side.

That’s all I’ll say about yellow for now. But to do pickup is more of an Orange value, so its hard to even say a yellow person would find much value in doing pickup. And by my definition of pickup, I mean to go out with other guys and cold approach random girls in public at the club or on the streets for example.

[Michael569]

@bejapuskas @Lorcan I don't have any advice but damn for your age, conciousness-wise you guys are thousand miles ahead of your generation ! Way to go! 

Just keep up what you are doing and the girls will be attracted to you without even knowing why.

[bejapuskas]

@7thLetter Thanks for actually thinking about what I wrote haha. I trasncended blue through a hard break-up, went into orange - didnt really work, then my mum showed me a brutal video about killing animals so I picked up some green values and then I just became more curious and ambicious, started watching Leo and after like half a year of everyday learning, I entered yellow.  This happened in like 3 years or so...

I find more value in learning useful things, applying the knowledge to my life and growing in general. I used to be pretty anti-social in the blue-orange period, then I started to see it from a different perspective and now I started working on my green more, so I have bigger sense of compassion and I can actually go out with friends and laugh, even though they dont know what I am doing basically...

I dont think its the best thing to do, I still enjoy reading good books more, but I still like to laugh, share stories etc... Its just that I have a better understanding of the situation, I am funnier, more compassionate... The overall quality of my life has changed just with watching Leo. I have also cured my social anxiety and sharpened my discipline, life just feels great.

@Hello from Russia @Girzo @SgtPepper I would never date an orange girl, no way. I have dated a green girl before, (when I was blue) she really was beyond my league at that stage, I have no idea why did she date me at that time haha. I think she was very mature and it wouldnt be that bad to find a similar girl, but still not optimal. I just dont get attracted so easily as I used to.

@Michael569 Thanks Michael! I actually started seeing that I am more attractive just by working on myself, the world is very counter-intuitive for some people... By the way, I am working on my diet now, I know you are into that  

[Lorcan]

Really? I can talk an awful good talk, but I lack implementation. There are aspects of stage beige, purple, and red I need to re-visit. 

@bejapuskas Please, do not take what I say as judgement or assumptions. If I made an assumption it was out of necessity in order to tailor some advice to what your situation actually is.  I don't know you. I'll never know you. Only you, will know you.

I would assume at 15 years of age, you are not stage yellow. Heck, I used to think I was stage yellow. I cannot be so sure. I think it is trap to assume I actually know something when I actually don't. I know little about spiral dynamics in the first place. My knowledge of it is based off Leo' videos, a video from TJ Reeves called "If I die watch this" and bit and pieces from 2 or 3 website I skimmed through.

It would seem you have a healthy purple. You claim life "just feels great". That you've had a girlfriend out of your league, and that you have your cured your social anxiety. At age 15.

And you started doing the work at 12? I discovered Leo at 13 and I'm not even in the trenches of this work. I waste a lot of time.

I'll private message you. I think you can help me out. I am curious,

I envy you 

 

Edited October 19, 2018 by Lorcan