Fear of Being Known as the Weird Pickup Guy

[Shroomdoctor]

So I seriously started daygame. I talked to around 20 women the last 3 days and it has gone...okay. Got around 5 numbers, 3 of those being flakes, one date setup.

From the beginning I had the fear of being "recognized" as the guy going up to girls everyday. Now I accidently reapproached a girl I already approached yesterday (different time and place). She was looking at my like I am the most vile creature on planet earth.

How do you deal with this fear bzw. the real thing happening?

@aurum @SFRL

Edited October 17, 2018 by Shroomdoctor

[Hello from Russia]

Real pickup looks natural and is not recognized as pickup. 
I actually have a quote for ya - "Pickup is like plastic surgery, you only see it when it's bad"

What worked for me is I started to escalate only with girls I really like so that I can authentically say "I like you" to them and really mean it with all my heart. They sense this authenticity off of you and it's really attractive as they want the guy who truly wants them, not the guy who is fake.
I don't really consider myself a PUA, for me it is about seeing the girl you really like\want and taking a proactive action to get her

Edited October 17, 2018 by Hello from Russia

[SFRL]

@Shroomdoctor my don't give a shit level always has been very high. 

I don't think it has ever been a problem because I have never cared much about what others did think of me. I can't remember any period in my life that I could give a fuck less actually. Even when I was a toddler. 

Also if that is the state at which you always have been operating, or for a long time at least, then it becomes normal. 

You are probably too old to start wearing nail polish and eyeliner to shock yourself into a don't give a fuck attitude. 

If your surroundings judge you double down on creating situations where you will get judged. 

You should go date Black and Arab women. 

That Black booty jiggling down the street in a sundress, I will take that view over the most beautiful sunset you can imagine anytime. ??

Uncle Adolf is going to be severly disappointed with you though ?

Edited October 17, 2018 by SFRL

[Shroomdoctor]

@SFRL Seems legit.

@Hello from Russia That is quite true actually. Something I should try to recognize in my approaches.

[Max_V]

@SFRL You are so controversial. I love it.

[SFRL]

@Max_V ?

[aurum]

17 hours ago, Shroomdoctor said:

I talked to around 20 women the last 3 days and it has gone...okay. Got around 5 numbers, 3 of those being flakes, one date setup.

Dude that's not bad at all. Yeah you can do better, but I wouldn't be down on it either.

17 hours ago, Shroomdoctor said:

From the beginning I had the fear of being "recognized" as the guy going up to girls everyday. Now I accidently reapproached a girl I already approached yesterday (different time and place). She was looking at my like I am the most vile creature on planet earth

Haha welcome to game. You're getting new problems, that's a positive sign.

This has happened to me on several occasions. I think the max I've done is accidentally approach the same girl three times. Needless to say, it didn't work. I'm skeptical of anyone who hasn't had that happen, because that means they're not really taking action.

Funny little line you can use in that situation when she says "you talked to me before" is "really, did we fall in love?" It might not work, but it makes me laugh.

17 hours ago, Shroomdoctor said:

How do you deal with this fear bzw. the real thing happening?

First practical thing you should consider is going somewhere that has more girls. If there's only three girls in the place where you're doing game, yeah you're probably going to run into problems like what you're describing. It be impossible not to. So you want enough girls at the places that you're going so you can fly "under the radar".

But once you get better at game, I'd suggest you shift your strategy. That's when you actually want to start going to smaller venues with the same people over and over again so you're recognized on purpose. It becomes more social circle and less cold approach.

So I would start with just trying to find areas where there are more girls. See if that solves the fear on its own. If not, then maybe there's some inner work to be done.

[onacloudynight]

@Shroomdoctor  Realize that fear is a fucking illusion of the ego. Be grounded in yourself and no matter if you reapproach the same girl a billion times, throw up on her, act awkward as shit, or portray yourself as a lame ass beta male. It won't fucking matter because nothing can break you or can it? If it can... I'm afraid you have some work to do my friend.

Edited October 18, 2018 by onacloudynight

[Shroomdoctor]

@aurum Thanks! With the girl I just said "Ah, I guess I son't convince you today, huh?" It wasnt a really good reaction, but hey it was authentic and I didnt freak out.

Im actually mostly around the university or city where there are really a ton of girls.

 

@Timothy I really suck at night game. I feel very out of place and broody in night clubs, so day game fits my energy much more. Im doing pickup to learn how to attract women authentically and to have good experiences with them. 

 

@onacloudynight I dont have a big problem with rejection anymore. Its more like being widely known as the lame ass beta pickup  tryhard, which would just blandly suck long term.  

[supremeyingyang]

@Shroomdoctor

I've never been a friend to cold-approach (day or night). It's scary and highly (!) ineffective. Let me show you. Let us take a PUA. We take 3 Variables: IQ, Spiral-Dynamics-Stage, Spiritual: Yes/No. It would be desired that her and your values roughly match.

Pua: IQ: 120, SDS: Green, Spiritual: yes
The population has: IQ 120 +/- 10: ~12,5%, SDS: Green: 15 %, Spiritual: yes: we have no number but I would guess less than 15%

Let's assume that intelligence and green correlate for the sake of the argument. You then got at best 12,5% girls in the goldy locks zone. You get 4 percent a close if you stay like this: 12,5 / 00.4: 0,5%. 0,5% of the women are desired AND respond to you.

But you don't know who the undesired are - and you got 4 closes by 100 numbers... The good women are maybe the most uninteresting girls on the street. And we'are on even in the dangers of dating like STDs or Drama. I think it's also likely that lower stage women respond to pick up better.

I think it is true to say that cold approach is a highly bad technique.

If you go to a gathering of a subject of your interest you will improve your odds madly. Give up on Pick Up will also help.

 

@Hello from Russia

Word.

 

@SFRL

You wrote it. It's hard at the moment to get up and say the truth, but it's even harder to live a lie. But in PU it depends highly on your approach (mindset, not technique). With the wrong mindset, you do double down on a wrong path...

Edited October 18, 2018 by supremeyingyang

[onacloudynight]

55 minutes ago, Shroomdoctor said:

@onacloudynight I dont have a big problem with rejection anymore. Its more like being widely known as the lame ass beta pickup  tryhard, which would just blandly suck long term.  

Alpha male. Beta male. It's all just a mask. Don't mistake yourself for a mask.

Why do you give other people the authority to define who you are? When they themselves have no idea who they are.

 

Edited October 18, 2018 by onacloudynight

[Shroomdoctor]

@supremeyingyang I do pickup mostly to learn the skillset of attraction, learn to be authentic around women and have some short term romances. Definetly not to find "the one".

@Timothy I did not ask for your moral judgement of pickup. The fact that you think its all about lines and techniques shows that you have no understanding about pickup. Becoming natural effortless and free flowing is a process which you can pick up through pickup. Telling someone to "just be yourself" is like the worst dating advice ever.
 

[Shroomdoctor]

Talking to women I feel like talking to. Being open in my sexuelles intent. Being bold and open. Not compromising my opinion or actions because of the opinions of others. Not fearing rejection. Being aware of the state and feelings of the girl I'm talking to and considering that in my actions etc.

[supremeyingyang]

@Shroomdoctor

4 hours ago, Shroomdoctor said:

@supremeyingyang I do pickup mostly to learn the skillset of attraction, learn to be authentic around women and have some short term romances. Definetly not to find "the one".

3

Yes, this legit. But I would suggest you practice more in everyday life. As you know attraction means not necessary hook up. To get quick rapport with people can be an important skill. And it is based on your good reputation. So I would suggest you do everything to be not associated as 'the pick-up guy'. Unless you feel very confident and want to deal with confrontational people... Who judge you based on a buzzword

 

2 hours ago, Shroomdoctor said:

Talking to women I feel like talking to. Being open in my sexuelles intent. Being bold and open. Not compromising my opinion or actions because of the opinions of others. Not fearing rejection. Being aware of the state and feelings of the girl I'm talking to and considering that in my actions etc.

I feel we are basically on the same side:)