Temporary Enlightenment?

[Elysian]

I was driving down the road the other day, listening to a talk by Sadhguru, about how associating self with everything self is not is what leads to a chaotic mind. Here's a link to that video:

He said that one needed to get some distance between mind and self. He said that mind is simply a faculty, which made me think that mind is simply an extra sense, like a 6th sense. As soon as I thought this, it was like everything that everyone had been saying for so long in so many different ways all finally made sense, for whatever reason.

In almost an instant, my mind became distinctly something within my awareness, separate from 'me'. The intricacy of how it's web had woven through my awareness became apparent, with sudden realizations happening moment after moment. The thoughts, the personality, the memories, how I was choosing exactly what to make my body do to navigate through traffic, the scanning of my eyes, it was all just different aspects of mind interacting with and within awareness. Soon after I brought my attention to my body, and my association with it fell away even quicker than my mind. It was like my awareness took a step back from body and mind, recognizing them happening, but not identifying with them.

Suddenly there was a shift in my vision. I could see everything that was happening, but instead of focusing on one small thing, I was able to take in the entirety of what was happening while also still remaining aware of the body and mind. Typically I would normally keep my eye on a certain car while driving, while using my peripherals to to watch out for any sudden changes, but this was totally different. Instead of focusing on one car, I took in what all cars were doing simultaneously, only giving focused attention to a specific car when something happened quickly like a car suddenly breaking. It's hard to explain, but to be honest this was pretty disorienting.

I then looked down at my hand, and even though I recognized the hand, I recognized it as a hand of this body, not me personally. It was just there within my senses, and almost looked like it was just part of the background. Like it was just another piece of matter among the rest of my vehicle. This all happened within few minutes.

My mind quieted down extremely, almost completely silent except when I intentionally engaged it. It popped off a few times, but I focused my attention on the separation of awareness and mind and then it quieted down again. Something that was very strange that happened, was that all the sensations one might view as uncomfortable had absolutely no effect on me. The heat from outside, muscle soreness, even the after effects of anxiety I had been feeling throughout the day. It was all happening within my awareness, but underneath all was this calm peace that I've never normally been able to feel with all of that happening.

Soon after this all started, I began feeling a pressure at the center of my forehead, right above my eyebrows. after about a hour or so that pressure began to be accompanied by a slight pain. I'd like to note that other than the initial realizations and shift in awareness, everything that happened did so with very intense, constant effort. I wasn't simply maintaining that space between awareness, body, and mind effortlessly. It took every bit of focus I could muster to keep it from slipping away. I felt like I had lit a small ember that I needed to keep safe, as to not forget or let that state slip away. But it felt like I was trying to do so when the only protection I had from the storm outside was a hut made out of twigs and palm fronds.

After about 2 hours, within the dead silence I heard a voice say as clearly as I've ever heard, "You're not ready". It felt true, but I wasn't just going to let go of that state without any effort. Over the next couple hours it became more and more difficult to maintain. I continued to have sudden realizations, almost like the objective view combined with intense focus gave a kind of clarity I've never experienced in my life. For instance, I got out of my truck and began to walk. As I walked, I began to notice things like the speed of my walk was too rushed and putting unneeded stress on my body, my posture was putting stress on my back, etc. And within less than a minute of walking I had made several adjustments that just came naturally to me. I saw a colleague, and in a situation that normally would be difficult for me to make conversation, exactly what needed to be said just flowed right out of me effortlessly. And all of the issues of ego were nonexistent, I wasn't worried how this body was viewed, although I did care how I affected his ego. It was so strange.

So about 4 hours after it started, it was impossible for me to sustain, I lost it. The separation stopped being as clear, I began to associate with the body and mind, even though I didn't want to fall back into the same old patterns. It feels like I was shown a glimpse of what self-realization is, but I simply wasn't ready to operate at that level. I've been meditating for several years, but my body and emotions need a lot of work. There is a lot of trauma both physically and emotionally I'm currently working through, and it feels like the current state of my mind and body simply couldn't handle the workload involved with maintaining that heightened state of awareness, whatever it may have been.

My question is, what was this? It felt like a sign that I'm on the right path, and that I should continue improving this body and mind while trying to attain self-realization. Was this something different than enlightenment?

[Nahm]

@Elysian Awesome. 

[Forestluv]

@Elysian I would put effort into integrating the experience, rather than trying to categorize it. There are many flavors of mystical/awakening/enlightening experiences. You got a double scoop of a flavor. There are more out there. Once you have more direct experience, they will mature and you will begin to see nuances and subtleties.

I’d also be aware of awakened teachers that describe a portion of your experience. Sometimes I find myself saying “Yes! They’ve been there and knows what it’s like!”. 

[Hellspeed]

Stop masturbating with gurus  and do it yourself alone  

[Elysian]

16 hours ago, Serotoninluv said:

@Elysian I would put effort into integrating the experience, rather than trying to categorize it. There are many flavors of mystical/awakening/enlightening experiences. You got a double scoop of a flavor. There are more out there. Once you have more direct experience, they will mature and you will begin to see nuances and subtleties.

I’d also be aware of awakened teachers that describe a portion of your experience. Sometimes I find myself saying “Yes! They’ve been there and knows what it’s like!”. 

I've been trying my best to reclaim that state, we'll see how it goes.

 

3 hours ago, Hellspeed said:

Stop masturbating with gurus  and do it yourself alone  

Other than starting with Vipassana techniques that I then modified for what's suited me best, and listening to others with similar experiences that I have, I have done it alone. Sounds like bad advice to say not to receive help from others though. It's like saying if you want to go to another planet do it all yourself alone. Don't read a book on Physics, in fact don't let someone help you learn how to read. This rabbit hole is a little silly, it's always good to see what others who have traveled the path your on did before you.

[who chit]

@Elysian

16 hours ago, Elysian said:

My question is, what was this?

The invitation to the dance.
Kinda like "here's a little taste if you want to continue,but you can still back out at this point."
Consider this a nice freebie.

If you go all in,the game changes. And that's gonna come at a cost. There's a certain point when you start seeing what the cost entails,and if you want to back out,you will find that the choice is no longer yours. You either go willingly or be dragged.

Choose carefully.

 

[Salvijus]

21 minutes ago, Elysian said:

I've been trying my best to reclaim that state, we'll see how it goes.

 

 

Forget that state. Everytime you meditate, do it like it's the first time for you. If you try to recreate what happened you'll most likely have big expectations as what should happen what shouldn't happen. That's not good. In meditation you don't descide what happens what doesn't happen. You only observe. And it would be even better if you're able to enquire who is aware of the things happening.

[Elysian]

52 minutes ago, who chit said:

@Elysian

The invitation to the dance.
Kinda like "here's a little taste if you want to continue,but you can still back out at this point."
Consider this a nice freebie.

If you go all in,the game changes. And that's gonna come at a cost. There's a certain point when you start seeing what the cost entails,and if you want to back out,you will find that the choice is no longer yours. You either go willingly or be dragged.

Choose carefully.

 

 I'm not sure what you mean by cost, but if it's my ego I'll let it burn into ash.

 

30 minutes ago, Salvijus said:

Forget that state. Everytime you meditate, do it like it's the first time for you. If you try to recreate what happened you'll most likely have big expectations as what should happen what shouldn't happen. That's not good. In meditation you don't descide what happens what doesn't happen. You only observe. And it would be even better if you're able to enquire who is aware of the things happening.

I get what you mean, this didn't actually happen while meditating but I do try drop the pushing and pulling in one direction or another while meditating.

 

This experience seemed to me that I, the observer, was pure unadulterated consciousness. The wording could very one what that would make 'me': nothingness, awareness itself, everything. Is this what you mean? Regardless of was certainly relieving. It felt like I dropped all of the crushing weight of my past and present. It became clear that the only trauma and stress that had happened was to the mind and body. Nothing truly ever happened to what I am, nothing ever could. It was amazing.

[who chit]

35 minutes ago, Elysian said:

 I'm not sure what you mean by cost, but if it's my ego I'll let it burn into ash.

That's you.
You and everything you have ever believed to be you will have to burn to ash.
That's what being reborn means. That's what "going all in" means.

"The path",is a path of annihilation. Just know that going in.
The price of God  or,Truth, doesn't come cheap.

[Elysian]

47 minutes ago, who chit said:

That's you.
You and everything you have ever believed to be you will have to burn to ash.
That's what being reborn means. That's what "going all in" means.

"The path",is a path of annihilation. Just know that going in.
The price of God  or,Truth, doesn't come cheap.

That's what it felt like was happening during this experience. Piece after piece just kept falling away one after another. Personality, aversions, the meaning behind being someone's child, maybe that might be scary to most. To me it was a relief, the vicegrip of mind loosening up and becoming a proper tool, the worry about what others thought of me, the dread of uncomfortable situations, it just vanished.

I'm interested to see what climbs out of the ashes.

[Hellspeed]

4 hours ago, Elysian said:

I've been trying my best to reclaim that state, we'll see how it goes.

 

Other than starting with Vipassana techniques that I then modified for what's suited me best, and listening to others with similar experiences that I have, I have done it alone. Sounds like bad advice to say not to receive help from others though. It's like saying if you want to go to another planet do it all yourself alone. Don't read a book on Physics, in fact don't let someone help you learn how to read. This rabbit hole is a little silly, it's always good to see what others who have traveled the path your on did before you.

Not true, but if it helps you, go for it.

This cannot be compared to any subject in sociery; is atleast 1000 times harder than any PhD to achieve yourself genuinly. 

Best of luck!

[who chit]

1 hour ago, Elysian said:

That's what it felt like was happening during this experience. Piece after piece just kept falling away one after another. Personality, aversions, the meaning behind being someone's child, maybe that might be scary to most. To me it was a relief, the vicegrip of mind loosening up and becoming a proper tool, the worry about what others thought of me, the dread of uncomfortable situations, it just vanished.

I'm interested to see what climbs out of the ashes.

That's why it was referred to as a freebie. You got to see the potential possibility of taking on the journey.
The experience didn't eliminate the ego,content etc.,. it showed what the possibility is.
You're gonna have to do the work now,no way around it. That's the "journey", so to speak.

And as already stated,don't hold onto or expect to recreate this experience. One, you didn't create it. It was gifted. Don't forget that. The first thing ego does after an experience is claim it was responsible for doing it. It will do that for every experience. In that experience,there was separation from ego-mind,therefore it didn't create it. Which, at this time ,means you didn't create it. And that's why you can't,nor will you be able to, recreate it. If you continue on the journey,more experiences will come. Enjoy them and then let them go. Because, again, they are gifts from a higher order. If you try to hold to them,they will severely hold you back.

Take the highs and lows as they come, but drop them and keep on going.
As LaoTzu  stated, it's"the journey of a thousand miles" .

Edited October 17, 2018 by who chit

[Tony 845]

About 3 months ago my crown shakra opened up & it felt fucking energy was pouring out of my head during an strong determination sit about a foot over my head, it was absolutely the craziest 2 minutes of my life, I asked on here what the hell was it, the only person to give me a logical clear answer was Leo, he said it's a "kundalini awakening" still not sure what the fuck this exactly means, no one seems to wanna give me any good info of the subject, thank you for sharing, I feel you're pain?

Edited October 17, 2018 by Tony 845
Grammar

[who chit]

4 minutes ago, Tony 845 said:

the only person to give me a logical clear answer was Leo, he said it's a "kundalini awakening" still not sure what the fuck this exactly means,

Kundalini is the spiritual energy that resides dormant at the base of the spine in the human body. It does exist and Everyone has it. Any spiritual work will eventually,at one time or another,awaken that energy. Whether it's worked on directly or not. Working on it directly will awaken it much faster than not working on it directly. Either way, it will eventually awaken and is an integral part of moving into higher consciousness.

It's good it only lasted 2 minutes. A full kundalini awakening,when the body is not ready for it is something nobody wants. Look into Gopi Krishna and U.G.Krishnamurti. They suffered hell going through it too soon.

[Elysian]

55 minutes ago, who chit said:

That's why it was referred to as a freebie. You got to see the potential possibility of taking on the journey.
The experience didn't eliminate the ego,content etc.,. it showed what the possibility is.
You're gonna have to do the work now,no way around it. That's the "journey", so to speak.

And as already stated,don't hold onto or expect to recreate this experience. One, you didn't create it. It was gifted. Don't forget that.

Thanks for this, it resonates with me. It definitely did feel like a gift. Although I've been walking this path of growth for several years now, I have much farther to go. Recently I've been making some big changes, which I think let the universe know I'm getting more serious.

47 minutes ago, Tony 845 said:

About 3 months ago my crown shakra opened up & it felt fucking energy was pouring out of my head during an strong determination sit about a foot over my head, it was absolutely the craziest 2 minutes of my life, I asked on here what the hell was it, the only person to give me a logical clear answer was Leo, he said it's a "kundalini awakening" still not sure what the fuck this exactly means, no one seems to wanna give me any good info of the subject, thank you for sharing, I feel you're pain?

I had a similar experience happen several months ago. After a few days of meditating several hours a day, I reached a new state of awareness. I got passed what I believe was the latent subconscious, and entered a state of complete silence. I started to hear things getting moved around my room even though a fan wasn't on. Then I reached what felt like the edge of an abyss, and it seemed like if I continued everything I was would disappear. I wasn't prepared for that and had a knee jerk reaction of fear, which pulled me back out.

When I opened my eyes, I felt a rush of energy flowing through my body, and what sounded and felt like a rush of wind hitting me left ear. My ear started popping like the air pressure had changed, but it was popping several times a second over and over. That went on for a little bit, then I got significant pressure and pain in the center of my forehead.

That sort of stuff can really throw you for a loop, but it's fascinating.

Edited October 18, 2018 by Elysian
Spelling

[who chit]

Kundalini is a powerful force so it has to be respected. The ear pressure,head pressure,wind rush,forehead pain etc.,and another pretty common one is the build up of heat in various places of the body. Anyway these effects are the energy trying to move through "karmic obstructions" one has built up over time, which causes the energy to stagnate and build up pressure,causing side effects. 

Spiritual work is also spiritual cleansing , so diet and lifestyle is something to be taken into account. Partying too much and eating too much crap food will certainly make things harder. 

Edited October 18, 2018 by who chit

[Salvijus]

Here's what I mean.

"I had an experience, it was so... It's nothing."

 

 

[Elysian]

On 10/17/2018 at 8:40 PM, who chit said:

Kundalini is a powerful force so it has to be respected. The ear pressure,head pressure,wind rush,forehead pain etc.,and another pretty common one is the build up of heat in various places of the body. Anyway these effects are the energy trying to move through "karmic obstructions" one has built up over time, which causes the energy to stagnate and build up pressure,causing side effects. 

Spiritual work is also spiritual cleansing , so diet and lifestyle is something to be taken into account. Partying too much and eating too much crap food will certainly make things harder. 

I get extremely hot sometimes during deep meditation. So much so I sometimes need to strip and turn the A/C up. I'll look into these karmic obstructions you're talking about.

I completely cut out partying some time ago, but in the past couple months I've been transitioning into a vegan diet as well. Been a heavy meat eater my entire life and it didn't seem to be helping me so I've been experimenting with cutting it out for health reasons. I've been eating either raw (salads) or food processed as little as possible, cooked at home. It's all a big learning curve, but I suspect this combined with other big changes lead to the experience.

On 10/17/2018 at 11:34 PM, Salvijus said:

Here's what I mean.

"I had an experience, it was so... It's nothing."

 

 

It's interesting how different the descriptions of the same experience can be just based on which point of consciousness + mind is doing the description. Trying to put words around the ineffable, close enough with the hope that it can point seekers in the right direction.

His explanation matches the experience I had, although I find other's explanations easier to interpret, such as Sadhguru.

[Tony 845]

@who chit  thank you,  it seemed like it was a minute or 2 of Enlightenment, I was just sitting there smiling like an idiot. So basically it was like a taste? It was soo wild, I never would have believed this shit if it didn't happen to me.

Edited October 20, 2018 by Tony 845
Grammar

[Tony 845]

@Elysian  my 3rd eye has been pulsating ever since & sometimes I have crazy energy at night kinda like anxiety, I just can't sleep, like pins & needles all over my body. Weird. I've chosen not to eat meat as much anymore either, I was always a big meat guy but i now have no intrest anymore.?‍♂️

Edited October 20, 2018 by Tony 845
Grammar