Why Are People Scared Of Silences?

[Huz]

I have had a bad track record for when i am in a silence between certain peers. I find it so awkward and it gets to the point when i start perspiring slightly, have a shiver down my body and anxious emotions and thoughts arise. If it gets too bad in some scenarios I leave the room. Also, occurs sometimes when there is a silence when conversing with strangers. I fixate in the silence and it begins to become more awkward and i become more anxious of the silence. 

Do other people experience this?

Has anyone got any techniques for overcoming this issue? I have got a lot better now but it still occurs with some certain people in my life

Edited April 1, 2016 by Huz88

[vizual]

Imo, awkwardness happens when people are not themselves in social situation. They feel the need to put on a mask, then when the silence happens they are scared the real person underneath the mask will get exposed.

You are too outcome dependent in social situations. You need to relax and breath. There is no winning or losing in social situations, especially not with strangers. Learn to stay present, no need to hype yourself up for others.

[Joyboy]

@Huz88I experience this too, quite often and ofcourse it's awkward, sometimes really uncomfortable. In the group when people are talking and suddenly, a long pause because no one know what to say next, hehe.

That was me before i come to self-actualize path. I find it totally normal now. The mind scares the shit out of silence and that's why you feel awkward.

Some  techniques may help but you want to solve it permanently? Understand how to handle the monkey mind, I mean train it to keep silence  

 

[poimandres]

Hey @Huz88,

I have found that forced conversation is less genuine and even more awkward that silences.  Have you tried overcoming this by chatting up random strangers at a bar?

What if you tried treating your approach as a social experiment instead of overcoming your anxiety?  What I mean by this, is there is no wrong in what I'm about to describe (you can't fail or say the "wrong thing").  Go into a restaurant that has a bar, not like a pool hall but a place where it's like a nice vibe to the place -- sushi restaurant at happy hour, sit one chair away from someone, and start a conversation like "What is good here? I've been here 100 times (or this is my first time here) and I'm in the mood for something different.  What did you order?"  And after that, see where the other person carries the conversation.  If they continue to ask you further questions like "Are you from around here?", then proceed to carry on the conversation.  If they drop the conversation, let them drop it.  Let the burden of carrying the conversation be on them during your experiment.

There should be no burden for you to carry a conversation.