Is there a way to "strategize" love?

[blacksapp]

I mean, I was watching Leo's video "How to be a strategic motherfucker" and a doubt came to me...
As a person with difficult in relating and reaching to love and stuff, is there any strategy to really get to know someone, 'cause I never can reach the real point to get engaged (like getting a girlfriend), its like I miss the point even in normal relationships with friends and stuff.
Is there any "strategy" to love?

[SFRL]

Read the book "The Rational Male" by Rollo Tomassi. 

His second book "Preventive Medicine" is even more about strategy. But you will understand the 2nd book better if you read the 1st book first. 

It's on Audible/Amazon. 

[Awomanaware]

@blacksapp yes, it's the strategy of loving yourself first - becoming comfortable with yourself. Observing the thoughts that are comparing you with others and letting them go. Giving yourself time to realise you are important and valuable just like other people. That's why you are here - to give yourself love. Religiously doing what you love and sharing it. Once you feel comfortable with yourself, and with sharing you with the world freely, you will start to feel comfortable with other people, and everything will unfold naturally.

[blacksapp]

Thanks @SFRL, I will check them out!

@Awomanaware Thank you too...
It is kinda hard for me to practice it, but probably is the reason I can't properly relate to people and more specific to girls aswell...
Sometimes I get myself absorving labels that is given, what turns to get hard to 'unlink' the label to what I believe of myself...

[Shin]

Awaken on the level of the heart, and you'll never have that problem again 

[blacksapp]

@Shin I'm trying to, but I'm in the lower consciousness spectrum right now...

The only way I can see by now is this:

Approach -> Build Trust -> Strength the relationship-> Relationship

But I'm not sure if it is the best way

[bejapuskas]

46 minutes ago, blacksapp said:

@Shin I'm trying to, but I'm in the lower consciousness spectrum right now...

The only way I can see by now is this:

Approach -> Build Trust -> Strength the relationship-> Relationship

But I'm not sure if it is the best way

Its great, that you know that, it can get you to yellow in no time, if you stop backsliding and grow every single day!  

Relationships are very counter-intuitive, you actually have to improve yourself in order to attract others, not focus only at attracting others... I mean, things like nofap, quitting addictions, meditation can really make you have better testosterone and dopamine levels as well as attractive body language and clearer mind, its not something conceptual, you will actually feel it very vividly.

[Jack River]

Attachment/dependence which is fear is the product of this strategy. In a “relationship”, that is the killer of love/care

Edited October 17, 2018 by Jack River

[Jack River]

Then we just use each other and rationalized it as Love. Lol . Pleasure is even worse when rationalized dudes. 

[blacksapp]

22 hours ago, bejapuskas said:

Its great, that you know that, it can get you to yellow in no time, if you stop backsliding and grow every single day!  

Relationships are very counter-intuitive, you actually have to improve yourself in order to attract others, not focus only at attracting others... I mean, things like nofap, quitting addictions, meditation can really make you have better testosterone and dopamine levels as well as attractive body language and clearer mind, its not something conceptual, you will actually feel it very vividly.

@bejapuskas That's really true, as the better I get, more I can get people closer...thank you for the words!
I'm trying to be consistent in those things...sometimes I know theory but lacks of practice makes me going in the wrong directions but I'll work hard to get better everyday!

@Jack River  It is a kind of cold way to think but I guess boils up to this if you look straight up...but in the moment I guess I'll have to absorb things a little less critical in a way to  process it all... but thank to the advice as well!

[Jack River]

15 minutes ago, blacksapp said:

is a kind of cold way to think but I guess boils up to this if you look straight up...but in the moment I guess I'll have to absorb things a little less critical in a way to  process it all... but thank to the advice as well!

It is what it is right? What we think about he fact is still limited to fear itself. We don’t like to face the fact, which is why we “self” is corrupt/and cannot love.