Actualized.org Video Summaries!

[FlyingLotus]

• The most recent list of Summaries & Episodes is here
• Leo's Blog: Table of Contents
• Blog Videos, Summaries & Interviews
• Actualized.org on Psychedelics   (has all resources on psychedelics)

 

• Leo’s “20 Dream Killers” article.
• There’s an Actualized.org Textbook.  It was assembled by @Cepzeu and others.  Summaries in the Textbook (v2) will say: (book pg XXX).
• You can also check out Leo’s Personal Development Blueprint.  It covers over 100 concepts in personal development.

 

      Actualized.org Youtube Episodes:

• The first 200 episodes have transcripts in the video section of Actualized.org.
• If you want to contribute to this thread, select one of the episodes that still needs a summary and post it here.

      Episodes:      1 - 249 

 

1. [x] How to Invest In Yourself (pg 11)

2. [x] Why Life Coaching Works (pg 11)

3. [] Be Different to Be Successful

4. [x] Get Coached (pg 12)

5. [] Inner Game of Career Development

6. [] The Most Interesting Problem in Philosophy and Science

7. [x] How I Lost 65 Pounds in 5 Months (pg 12)

8. [x] Understanding Resistance (pg 8)

9. [x] Mastery (pg 11) (book pg 140)

10. [] Work Less to Accomplish More

11. [x] What's the Worst That Can Happen? (pg 16)

12. [] What a Roman Emperor Can Teach You About Happiness

13. [] The Number One Reason Why You're Not Succeeding

14. [] The Problem of Self-Control

15. [] The Art of Solving Problems Permanently

16. [] How You Must Think About Failure

17. [] Life Purpose - Critical Points For Finding Your Life Purpose ?

18. [] As Good As Your Life Will Ever Get ?️

19. [] How to Delegate to Your Subconscious Mind

20. [] Garbage In, Garbage Out - Watch Your Information Intake

21. [] The $100 Million Dollar Question

22. [] Positive vs Negative Motivation

23. [] How To Transform Your Entire Life

24. [] Personal Development Blueprint - Intro - Actualized.org

25. [] Personal Development - The Ultimate Vision of What You Can Be

26. [] Life Purpose - The Thrill of Creative Contribution

27. [] Success & Creativity - Why You Should Be More Schizophrenic

28. [] Personal Development - How Your Mind is Like a Rider Atop an Elephant

29. [] Personal Development - Tips About How to Give Advice

30. [] Create an Exciting Life - Your 5 Proudest Moments Exercise

31. [] Happiness & Success - Should You Work on Strengths or Weaknesses?

32. [] Personal Development - Professional vs Hobbiest

33. [] Personal Development Blueprint - Mission Statement

34. [] Personal Development Blueprint - Charged Life

35. [] Personal Development Blueprint - Top 5 Feelings

36. [] Personal Development Blueprint - Eliminate Addictions

37. [] How to Make Your Life Extraordinary

38. [] How to Do Real Personal Development

39. [] Personal Development Blueprint - Meditation

40. [] How To Become Successful - The Secrets That Everyone Overlooks

41. [] How To Get More Energy - An Approach Nobody Ever Talks About

42. [] How To Make A Guy Fall In Love With You - What Guys Really Want

43. [] How To Make A Girl Fall In Love With You - What Girls Really Want

44. [] How To Make More Money - Increase Your Income In Career or Business

45. [] How To Become A Life Coach - Every Part of the Process Revealed inDetail

46. [] Benefits of Meditation - Top Reasons To Start Meditating Right Now

47. [] How To Overcome Shyness - Transform Yourself Into An Extrovert

48. [] What Is The Purpose Of Life? - Use Purpose to Achieve Massive Success

49. [] How To Motivate Employees - Creating Ultra-Productive Workers

50. [] How To Feel Happy - Scientifically Proven Ways of Creating Lasting Happiness

51. [] Productivity Strategies - Are You Prolific?

52. [x] How To Increase Your Results From Self-Help Products by 10x (book pg 206)

53. [] Personal Development Blueprint - Information Intake

54. [] New Years Resolutions - How Getting Back On Track Is A Huge Opportunity

55. [] Self Expression - How To Express Yourself & Find Your Authentic Creative Voice

56. [x] How to Be Happy in Life - Happiness Bottlenecks (pg 13)

57. [] Overcoming Fear - How To Slay Your Greatest Demon

58. [x] Sensitivity - Why Personal Development Is Impossible For You Right Now (pg 15)

59. [x] How To Never Quit - The Key To Reframing The Toughest Obstacles (pg 15)

60. [] The Subconscious Mind - Using Your Subconscious Mind to Create Massive Success

61. [] Negative Thoughts - The Origin Of Negative Thinking & How To Eliminate It Forever

62. [] How To Succeed In Life - The 6 Key Elements of Phenomenal Success

63. [] Fear Of Public Speaking - The One Key To Overcoming It Forever

64. [] How To Change Your Life - Making BIG Life Changes Actually Stick

65. [] Fear Of Failure - Why We Have It & How To Deal With It

66. [] How To Change Careers - Dealing With The Fear & Transitioning Smart

67. [] How To Stay Focused - The Key To Being Extremely Productive & ClearMinded

68. [] Resume Writing Tips - The Secret Mindset For Writing a Perfect Resume

69. [] How To Stay Motivated To Lose Weight - The Psychology of Weight Loss Success

70. [] How To Stop Worrying - The Fundamentals of Eliminating Worry

71. [] How To Change The World - What It Takes To Have Massive Social Impact

72. [] Personal Power - How Personal Power Creates Success

73. [] SMART Goal Setting - How to Set Extremely Effective Goals

74. [] The Subconscious Mind - Using Your Subconscious Mind to Create Massive Success

75. [] What Is Ego - How Your Ego Dictates Your Entire Life

76. [] How To Get Motivated - Creating a Consistent Drive for High Performance

77. [x] The Law Of Attraction - How It Really Works & How To Use It (pg 11)

78. [] How To Stop Procrastinating - A Step-by-Step Process For Busting The Worst of Procrastination

79. [] How To Be More Confident - A Step-by-Step Process for Becoming Truly Confident

80. [x] Self Actualization - The Most Inspiring Self-Help Concept Of All Time (book pg 37)

81. [] Positive Affirmations - The Tricks of Using Affirmations to Transform Your Life

82. [] What Should I Do With My Life - How To Find Your Passion For Life

83. [] Peak Performance - How To Hit and Maintain Consistent Peak Performance In Life

84. [x] How To Stay Healthy - The Psychology of Maintaining Consistent, Effortless Health (pg 13)

85. [x] Overcoming Adversity - How To Handle The Most Horrific Life Challenges Ever (pg 15)

86. [] How To Become A Vegetarian - Practical Steps You Must Take To Succeed

87. [] How To Control Anger - The Shocking Truth Behind Your Anger Problems

88. [] Positive Psychology - What Is It & How It Can Transform Your Life

89. [x] Self Control - How To Develop Self-Control To Create An Amazing Life (pg 9)

90. [] How To Relieve Stress - Scientifically Proven Stress Relief Techniques

91. [x] How To Be Attractive - The Ultimate Attraction Strategy (pg 2)

92. [x] Why Am I Depressed? - The Shocking Truth Behind Your Depression (pg 12)

93. [x] Profound Quotes #001 - "All Of Humanity's Problems Stem From Man’s..." (pg 12)

94. [] True Vision - I Reveal My Life Purpose Until You Can Feel It ?

95. [] Willpower - Scientifically Proven Techniques to Increase Willpower

96. [] Redefining Philosophy - How To Become A Jedi Master

97. [] How To Become Rich - The Number One Reason You're Not Already Rich

98. [] Mindfulness - How To Actually Practice Mindfulness & Conquer Your Emotions

99. [] Profound Quotes #002 - "Specialization Is For Insects"

100. [x] What Is Happiness? - An Extremely Advanced Definition Of Happiness (book pg 60)

101. [x] Self Image - The Amazing, Absolute Key To All Personal Growth (pg 16)

102. [] How To Stay Committed To A Cause

103. [] Introvert vs Extrovert - A Deep Understanding Of Introverts And Extroverts

104. [] How To Eat Healthy - Create A Super Healthy Meal In 15 Minutes ?

105. [x] How To Be A Man - The Deep Core Of Being Masculine (pg 10)

106. [] Positive Thinking - The Key To Thinking Positive

107. [] Healthy Relationships - What You MUST Know To Sustain A Great Relationship

108. [x] Dream Life - What It Takes To Create An Extraordinary Life (pg 15)

109. [] Best Supplements - What You Must Know About Supplementation ?

110. [x] Optimism - How To Become Optimisitic Right Now (pg 10)

111. [] Letting Go Of The Past - How To Get Over The Past In Minutes

112. [] How To Find Your Passion - Why You Have No Passion & How To Fix It

113. [] Critical Thinking - Use Independent Thinking To Build A Powerful Life

114. [] How To Motivate Yourself - The Trick Behind Lasting Self-Motivation

115. [x] Emotional Intelligence - Why Your EQ Is More Important Than Your IQ (pg 9)

116. [x] Cause & Purpose - What Are You Willing To Bleed For? (pg 10)

117. [] Id, Ego, Superego - Understanding An Old School Psychology Concept

118. [] Self Help - How Self-Help Can Revolutionize Your Entire Life

119. [] Life Coaching - The Powerful Benefits Of Working With A Life Coach

120. [] How To Start A Business - Bootstrapping A Successful Business

121. [] How To Use Technology To Super-Charge Your Personal Growth

122. [] Time Management - How To Get More Time In Your Day

123. [] State Of The Union - My Camera Dies In Death Valley

124. [x] The Secret - The Truth They Didn't Tell You (pg 13)

125. [] Personal Development Plan - The Essentials Of Getting Results

126. [] How To Love Yourself - How To Like Who You Are Right Now

127. [] How To Feel Good - Re-Designing Your Life To Feel Amazing

128. [] How To Be Yourself - Become Your Authentic Self Right Now

129. [] True Value - How To Create Success Out Of Nowhere

130. [] The Power Of Routines - How Your Daily Routine Holds You Back From Your Dreams

131. [] Staying Hungry - How To Use Pain For Growth ⚖️

132. [x] Relationship Advice - The Master Plan For Creating An Amazing Relationship (pg 10)

133. [] How To Become A Millionaire - The Truth No One Tells You

134. [] Self Esteem - Understanding & Fixing Low Self-Esteem

135. [] Judgment - How You Ruin Your Own Happiness

136. [x] Profound Quotes #003 - "Children Want Candy; The Intelligent Want Self-Control” - Rumi (pg 9)

137. [] Whatever Doesn't Kill You Makes You Stronger - True or False? ?

138. [] What Women Want In A Man - 5 Factors That Hook Women Like Crack

139. [] How To Make A Girl Squirt - Give Your Girl An Explosive Orgasm

140. [] Positive Attitude - The 3 Pillars To Cultivating Positivity

141. [x] How To Exploit People To Grow Yourself - An Advanced Technique (pg 1) (book pg 269)

142. [] Stress Management - Permanent Solutions For Stress Reduction

143. [] Why I'm A Dick - And Why I Won't Change

144. [] Goal Setting - How To Set Goals Effectively

145. [x] Bad Relationships - How To Break Your Cycle Of Painful Relationships (pg 9)

146. [] Bad Habits - A Live Exercise For Dropping Any Bad Habit For Good

147. [] How To Get A Girlfriend - The Ultimate Guide For Landing A Hot Girlfriend

148. [] How To Forgive Someone - The One Trick That Makes Forgiveness Easy

149. [] Openmindedness - A Huge Overlooked Obstacle To Self Improvement

150. [] How To Make Friends - 4 Sticking-Points That Limit Your Ability To Make Friends

151. [] Good Vs Evil - Why Evil Doesn't Actually Exist

152. [] Communication Skills - The 6 Keys Of Powerful Communication

153. [] Low Self Esteem In Women - Why Women Have Lower Self-Esteem Than Men

154. [x] Visualization - A Powerful Technique For Reprogramming Your Subconscious Mind (book pg 203)

155. [] Self Confidence - The Two Essential Avenues For Building Confidence

156. [] Why Women Use You For Money - And How To Never Get Used Again

157. [] Why Men Cheat - And 8 Ways To Keep Your Man Loyal

158. [] How To Follow Advice Without Betraying Yourself

159. [x] How To Master & Control Your Emotions (book pg 201)

160. [] Negative Visualization - An Ancient Stoic Technique For Creating Happiness

161. [x] How To Stop Being A Victim - The #1 Reason You Are Stuck In Life  (pg 15) (book pg 84)

162. [] Spirituality vs Religion - The No-Bullshit Guide To Spirituality

163. [x] Self Discipline vs Freedom - How To Create More Freedom In Your Life (pg 11)

164. [x] How To Deal With Depression - The Key To Breaking Out Of Depression (pg 3)

165. [x] How To Stop Caring What People Think Of You (pg 13) (book pg 199)

166. [] How Science Keeps You Stuck In Life - Exposing Problems With "Scientific" Thinking

167. [] Why Women Fall For Assholes

168. [x] Understanding The Authentic Self - Discovering Who You Really Are (book pg 197)

169. [] How To Deal With Difficult & Toxic People

170. [] Leo's List of Top 140 Self-Help Books ?

171. [] How To Stop Watching TV - Why You Must Eliminate TV Right Now!

172. [] Luck & Success - Is Luck Important For Being Successful?

173. [] How To Meditate - The No Bullshit Guide to Meditation

174. [] How To Manage Your Money Easily Using This Budget Template

175. [] The Biggest Thing You Should Fear - Halloween Special ?

176. [] How To Be An Attractive Man - Interview With Dating Coach, TrippAdvice

177. [x] How To Stop Being Lazy - Solutions For Short-term & Long-term Laziness (book pg 196)

178. [] How To Deepen Your Love For Life - A Powerful Exercise

179. [] How To Deal With A Breakup

180. [] Why The Most Successful People Don't Do Personal Development

181. [] How To Have Amazing Sex - Part 1

182. [] The Truth About Passive Income

183. [] How To Practice Gratitude - Xmas 2014 Special ?

184. [x] How To Stop Being Jealous - Techniques To End Jealousy Forever (pg 2)

185. [x] Responsibility vs Blame - Why You Are 100% Responsible For Everything (book pg 89)

186. [x] How To Study - The Keys To Acing School & College (pg 2) (book pg 214)

187. [x] Beware Of False Prophets - Stop Worshipping Human Personality (pg 11)

188. [x] What Is Karma? - The No-Bullshit Explanation Of How Karma Works (book pg 140)

189. [] Stop Demonizing People! - Why You Are Wrong For Calling Terrorists Evil

190. [x] Spiritual Enlightenment - The Most SHOCKING Truth You'll Ever Hear (book pg 98)

191. [] What To Do Next After Learning About Enlightenment

192. [x] The Happiness Spectrum - The Best & Worst Kinds Of Happiness (book pg 58)

193. [x] Paradoxes Of Personal Development (book pg 61)

194. [x] Spiritual Enlightenment - Part 2 - Understanding The Conceptualized Self (book pg 100)

195. [] The Secret Curse Of Being Human + Bonus: A True Spiritual Exercise!

196. [] How To Have Amazing Sex (For Women) - Drive Your Man Wild In Bed

197. [x] Enlightenment - Part 3 - Creating An Experience Of No-Self (book pg 101)

198. [x] Enlightenment FAQ - Part 1 - All Your Questions Answered (pg 2) (book pg 246)

199. [x] Enlightenment FAQ - Part 2 (pg 14)

200. [x] All Of Religion Explained In One Video (pg 2) (pg 12) (book pg 112)

201. [] How To Have Amazing Sex - Part 2 - Increasing Intimacy & Dominance

202. [x] Understanding Emotions - Part 1 (book pg 190)

203. [] Feminine vs Masculine Compassion

204. [x] How To Stop Backsliding - How To Stop Procrastinating (pg 10) (book pg 195)

205. [x] How To Become Enlightened - The Exact Step By Step Process Revealed! (book pg 102)

206. [x] How To Be A Leader - Leadership Secrets Revealed! (book pg 188)

207. [] How To Stop Being A Workaholic

208. [x] How To Meditate Deeper (pg 8)

209. [x] Science vs Religion - The Absurdity Revealed! (book pg 186)

210. [x] How To Create Your Dream Career - The Ultimate Life Purpose Course (pg 15)

211. [x] How To Unleash Your Ambition - Must-Watch For Ambitious People (pg 1) (book pg 82)

212. [x] How To Get Shit Done - The Inner Game Of Being A Results-Maker (pg 1) (book pg 80)

213. [] My Enlightenment Experience - Exactly How It Happened

214. [x] Lower vs Higher Self - Understanding Your Two-Faced Nature (book pg 184)

215. [x] Using Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs To Self-Actualize (book pg 35)

216. [x] Masculinity vs Femininity - Psychology Of The Male & Female Mind (book pg 182)

217. [x] Meditation Techniques: Do Nothing - The Simplest Meditation Possible (pg 1) (book pg 124)

218. [x] Meditation On Steroids - How To Get The FASTEST Meditation Gains (book pg 127)

219. [x] The Grand Model Of Psychological Evolution - Clare Graves & Spiral Dynamics (book pg 52)

220. [] Being A Spiritual Seeker, Good or Bad?

221. [x] One Simple Rule For Acing Life (book pg 49)

222. [] How To Be Funny - Comprehensive Guide To Developing A Sense of Humor

223. [x] Contemplating Your Own Death - To Stay Motivated For Life (book pg 181)

224. [] How To Deal With Criticism, Trolls, and Haters

225. [x] Avoiding Dysfunctional & Abusive Relationships - 30+ Red Flags (pg 15)

226. [x] Advice For High School & College Students - The Keys To Mastering Life (book pg 204)

227. [] Curing Perfectionism - How To Stop Being A Perfectionist

228. [x] Mindfulness Meditation - A Complete Guide With Techniques & Examples (pg 15) (pg 16)

229. [x] A Vision For The Self Actualized Life - Get Yo Ass Inspired! (book pg 21)

230. [] How To Overcome Creative Blocks & Writer's Block

231. [x] How To Deal With Strong Negative Emotions (pg 14) (book pg 43)

232. [x] Radical Openmindedness - How To Break Free Of Dogma & Beliefs (book pg 94)

233. [x] 30 Ways Society Fucks You In The Ass (pg 1) (book pg 54)

234. [x] How You Lie - All Your Dirty, Sneaky Lies & Manipulations Exposed! (book pg 135)

235. [x] 40 Signs That You Are Neurotic - Understanding Neurosis  (pg 1) (book pg 178)

236. [] How To Stop Judging Yourself

237. [] The Challenges Of Making Bold Life Changes

238. [x] Understanding Awareness - The Staggering Depth Of Your Unawareness Revealed (pg 1) (book pg 39)

239. [x] Free Will vs Determinism - Does Free Will Exist? (book pg 176)

240. [] A Rant Against The Pickup Community - Must Watch For All PUAs

241. [x] The Ultimate Model Of Human Knowledge - All Knowledge Explained! (pg 12) (book pg 66)

242. [x] The Most Important Commitment You Can Make + Huge Announcement (pg 1) (book pg 230)

243. [x] 27 Qualities Of All Successful People (pg 2) (book pg 209)

244. [x] The Enlightened Self - A Description Of Your Existential Nature (pg 1) (book pg 105)

245. [x] Fake Growth vs Real Growth - What If You're Just Tricking Yourself? (pg 1) (book pg 26)

246. [x] How To Stop Comparing Yourself To Others (pg 1) (book pg 227)

247. [x] How To Be A Strategic Motherfucker - The 7 Pillars Of Strategic Thinking (pg 1)  (pg 7) (book pg 76)

248. [x] Why Rationality Is WRONG! - A Critique Of Rationalism (pg 1) (book pg 174)

249. [x] The Power Of Self Acceptance - How To Stop Beating Yourself Up (pg 1) (book pg 173) ?

      Episodes:  250 - 506

 

250. [x] The Benefits Of Enlightenment  (pg 14) (book pg 259)

251. [x] 3 Step Formula To Be Ruthlessly Effective At Anything (pg 15) (book pg 219)

252. [x] Overcoming Addiction - The Root Cause Of Every Addiction (pg 1) (pg 4) (book pg 44)

253. [x] How Your Mind Distorts Reality - Needy vs Non-Needy Perception (pg 4) (book pg 90)

254. [x] Enlightenment Guided Inquiry - The Neti Neti Method (book pg 106)

255. [x] Grasping The Illusory Nature Of Thought (pg 4) (book pg 93)

256. [x] Lifestyle Minimalism - Renouncing Your Busy Stupid Life (pg 4) (book pg 47)

257. [x] How To Stop Being A Victim - Part 2 - What All Victims Fail To Understand (pg 14) (book pg 87)

258. [x] A Rant Against Morality - Very Foundational (pg 4) (book pg 167)

259. [x] How To Stop Moralizing - Removing The SHOULDs From Your Life (pg 4) (book pg 170)

260. [x] Meditation For Beginners (pg 4) (book pg 264)

261. [x] Awareness Alone Is Curative - How To Auto-Correct Unwanted Behaviors (pg 4) (book pg 42)

262. [x] Be Fucking Patient! - How To Deal With Lack Of Results (pg 4) (book pg 50)

263. [x] The Psychology Of Small Business Success - Top 5 Errors Of Aspiring Entrepreneurs (pg 4) (book pg 220)

264. [x] 10 Important Things You Don't Know You Want (pg 4) (book pg 138)

265. [x] You're Not Happy Because You Don't Really Want To Be (pg 4) (book pg 165)

266. [x] The 3 Levels Of Personal Development Work (pg 4) (book pg 31)

267. [] The Amazing Power Of Psychedelics - Leo Does Magic Psilocybin Mushrooms!

268. [x] How To Use Psychedelics For Personal Development (pg 11) (book pg 207)

269. [] Guided Meditation - The Next Level Of Meditation

270. [x] The Paradox Of Developing Self-Trust (pg 4) (book pg 244)

271. [x] How To Be A Man - Part 2 (Advanced Version) (pg 10)

272. [x] The 64 Most Fascinating Questions A Human Can Ask (pg 4) (book pg 160)

273. [x] What's Wrong With Ego? (book pg 162)

274. [] What Is God? - Leo Becomes Absolute Infinity (Aka God) - All Of Reality Explained

275. [x] 5-MeO-DMT - The Magic Pill To Enlightenment & God (pg 16)

276. [x] Low Quality vs High Quality Consciousness (pg 4) (book pg 24)

277. [x] The Dark Side Of Meditation (pg 4) (book pg 157)

278. [x] The Mechanics Of Belief (pg 4) (book pg 154)

279. [x] How To Harness Your Intuition (pg 4) (book pg 262)

280. [x] The Trap Of Projection, Especially Onto Teachers & Mentors (pg 10)

281. [x] A Rant Against Culture (pg 4)

282. [x] Money Psychology - The Inner Game of Mastering Money (pg 4) (book pg 222)

283. [] Using 5-MeO-DMT To Become Enlightened - Interview With Martin Ball

284. [x] How To Deal With Confusion (pg 4) (book pg 33)

285. [x] Becoming A Sage - A New Vision For Actualized.org & You! (pg 4) (book pg 23)

286. [x] Mystical Traditions Around The World - Nonduality Goes Cosmopolitan! (book pg 110)

287. [x] Becoming A Zen Devil - The Dangers Of Half-Assing Enlightenment (pg 4) (book pg 107)

288. [x] Uncovering Your Childhood Vows - Unwire Your Neurotic Personality (book pg 122)

289. [x] The Pre-mortem Technique - The Trick To Avoiding Project Failure (pg 4)

290. [x] How To Control Anger - Part 2 - Understanding Evil To Death (pg 4) (book pg 153)

291. [x] A Rant Against Naive Realism - Reality Is NOT Physical! (pg 4) (book pg 151)

292. [x] How I Do Research & Develop Big Picture Understanding  (pg 2) (pg 4) (book pg 132)

293. [] The Launch Of Infinite Insights - Leo's Blog!

294. [x] The Role Of Balance In Personal Development (pg 4) (book pg 63)

295. [x] Dropping The Roles You Play (pg 4)

296. [] The Gallery Of Absolute Infinity ?

297. [x] Build Your Infrastructure For Success (pg 4) (book pg 149)

298. [x] AL-LAD Trip Report - A Powerful Tool For Consciousness Work (pg 10)

299. [x] Understanding How Paradigms Work (pg 4) (book pg 68)

300. [x] Contemplation - The Most Important Tool For Sages (pg 4) (book pg 128)

301. [x] Concentration vs Meditation - How To Develop Concentration (pg 4) (book pg 126)

302. [x] The Big Picture Of Self-Actualization (pg 4) (book pg 18)

303. [x] True vs False Skepticism (pg 4) (book pg 72)

304. [x] Leo's Super Healthy Blueberry Smoothie ? (pg 16)

305. [x] The Highest Hero's Journey - What It Means To Be Real Hero (pg 4) (book pg 130)

306. [x] Leo's Super Healthy Vegetable Soup ? (pg 9)

307. [x] Understanding Default Positions (pg 4) (book pg 147)

308. [] Leo's Solo Meditation Retreat - 90 Hours Of Nonstop Meditation In The Forest ?

309. [x] Balancing Theory vs Practice (pg 4) (book pg 29)

310. [x] How To Deal With Loneliness - Especially While Self-Actualizing (book pg 145)

311. [x] How To Get Started With Self Actualization - Over 40 Techniques (pg 16) (book pg 19)

312. [] 2C-B Trip Report - Experiencing Physical Death

313. [x] Intro To Systems Thinking (pg 4) (book pg 142)

314. [x] Why People Seem Crazy (pg 4) (book pg 119)

315. [] Subtle Addictions

316. [] Successful People Are Not Happy

317. [] Making Sense Of Paranormal Phenomena & Psychic Powers ???‍♀️

318. [x] Understanding Absolute Infinity - Part 1 (pg 3)

319. [] Understanding Absolute Infinity - Part 2

320. [x] What Is Art? - Understanding The Essence Of Art (pg 8)

321. [] Setting Proper Expectations

322. [] Leo Hits Rock Bottom - EVERYTHING Understood

323. [x] Learning = Behavior Change (pg 4) (book pg 274)

324. [x] No Growth Possible Without Training (pg 4) (book pg 217)

325. [x] Understanding Meaning, Purpose, & Value ? (pg 4)

326. [x] Distraction - The Ego's Favorite Defense Mechanism (pg 9)

327. [x] What Is The Devil? - The Mechanics Of Evil (pg 3)

328. [x] How To Raise Rockstar Kids (pg 8)

329. [] Correcting The Stigma Of Psychedelics - Part 1

330. [] Learning = Observation

331. [] Correcting The Stigma Of Psychedelics - Part 2

332. [] The Topic Of Mindfuckery

333. [x] Advanced Tips For Self-Inquiry (pg 3)

334. [x] Building Your Existential Vocabulary (pg 4)

335. [] How To Keep The Ultimate Journal (Commonplace Book) + LIVE DEMO ?

336. [x] Comprehension Has Many Degrees (pg 13)

337. [x] Why Brains Do Not Exist (pg 7)

338. [] Reality Is A Strange Loop - The Beauty Of Paradox + GRAPHICS ? 

339. [] The Theme Of Things Going Full-Circle

340. [x] Motivational Speech For Building A Passionate Life (pg 4) (book pg 15)

341. [x] The Deep Problem Of Marketing (pg 3) (pg 4) (book pg 270) ?

342. [x] Jacques Derrida, Deconstruction, Post-Modernism & Nonduality (pg 4)

343. [x] All Criticism Is Untenable (pg 4) (pg 10)

344. [x] Self-Deception - Part 1 (pg 2) (book pg 231)

345. [x] Self Deception - Part 2 - 60+ Self-Deception Mechanisms (pg 2) (book pg 234)

346. [] Enlightenment Experience Happening In Real Time - LIVE! ?️

347. [x] Enlightenment Experience Explanation & Key Lessons (pg 3) (book pg 266)

348. [x] Self-Deception - Part 3  (pg 2) (book pg 237)

349. [] Hitler Reacts To Nonduality / Enlightenment - FUNNY!

350. [] Life Is A Dream

351. [x] How To Shop For Healthy Food (pg 3)

352. [] My Deepest Awakening Yet - Becoming Infinite

353. [] The Importance Of Real Yoga

354. [] Quantum Mechanics Debunks Materialism - Part 1

355. [] Quantum Mechanics Debunks Materialism - Part 2

356. [] Comprehending The Magnitude Of Reality

357. [] Metaphysical Implications Of Godel's Incompleteness Theorem - Part 1

358. [x] Understanding Islam - What Most People Misunderstand (pg 12)

359. [x] Shamanic Breathing Technique + LIVE DEMO ??‍♀️ (pg 8)

360. [x] Collective Ego - Understanding The Egoic Dynamics Of Social Systems (pg 12)

361. [] Going Buddha - 30 Day Meditation Challenge

362. [x] What Is Consciousness? - All Questions Answered (pg 2)

363. [] What Is Intelligence? - Infinite Intelligence Explained

364. [x] Spiral Dynamics - Stage Blue (pg 5) (book pg 275)

365. [x] Spiral Dynamics - Stage Orange (pg 5) (book pg 275)

366. [x] Spiral Dynamics - Stage Green (pg 5) (book pg 275)

367. [x] Spiral Dynamics - Stage Yellow (pg 5) (book pg 275)

368. [x] Spiral Dynamics - Stage Turquoise (pg 5) (book pg 275)

369. [x] Understanding Recontextualization (pg 3)

370. [x] How To Contemplate Using A Journal (pg 10)

371. [x] Sameness vs Difference - The Metaphysical Foundation Of Reality (pg 13)

372. [x] How Ideology Works (pg 12)

373. [] Life Is A Maze

374. [x] What Is Spirituality? - A No-Bullshit Intro To Spirituality (pg 3)

375. [x] How To Escape Wage Slavery (book pg 224)

376. [] Body Awareness - How To Relax Your Body

377. [x] What Is Love? - Advanced Spiritual Explanation (pg 2)

378. [x] 35+ Subfields Of Self-Help (pg 3)

379. [] What Is Actuality? - Distinguish Direct Experience vs Concept

380. [x] Mankind Is The Bullshitting Animal (pg 3)

381. [x] Nootropics - Top Supplements For Increasing Mental Performance (pg 12)

382. [] The Radical Implications Of Oneness (Halloween Edition) ?

383. [x] 65 Core Principles Of Living The Good Life (pg 3)

384. [x] What Is Perception? - The Metaphysics Of Perception (pg 4) (book pg 254)

385. [x] Spiral Dynamics - Important Insights & Nuances (pg 17)

386. [x] The Ten Ox-Herding Pictures - Zen’s Stages of Enlightenment Explained (pg 4)

387. [] The Counter-Intuitive Nature Of Life

388. [x] Understanding Ego Backlash (pg 14)

389. [x] Spiral Dynamics - Areas Of Application (pg 5) (book pg 276)

390. [x] How To Do Self-Inquiry (pg 10)

391. [x] Cult Psychology - Part 1 - How Cults Work (pg 7)

392. [x] Cult Psychology - Part 2 - The Big Picture (pg 8)

393. [x] What Is God? - Part 1 - A No Bullshit Explanation For Smart People (pg 4)

394. [x] What Is God? - Part 2 - Clear Answers To 70+ Commonly Asked Questions (pg 4)

395. [] Aztec Nonduality - Profound Life Lessons From Aztec Philosophy

396. [] Leaving On 30-Day Solo Retreat

397. [] Becoming God - Insights From 13 Back-to-Back Awakenings

398. [x] Understanding Duality - Part 1 - Master List of 250+ Dualities (pg 5)

399. [] Understanding Duality - Part 2 - Scientific Dualities

400. [] Understanding Duality - Part 3 - Existential Dualities

401. [x] Life Unfolds In Chapters & Phases (pg 6)

402. [x] The Power Of Asking Questions (pg 7)

403. [x] What Is The Point Of Life? - An Advanced, Life-Changing Explanation (pg 9)

404. [x] Understanding Survival - Part 1 - The Metaphysics Of Being Human (pg 7)

405. [x] Understanding Survival - Part 2 - Advanced Insights About Survival (pg 7)

406. [x] Understanding Relativism - Part 1 (pg 7)

407. [] What Is Reality? - A Radical Explanation

408. [x] How Authority Works - Where Does Truth Come From? (pg 5)

409. [x] Conscious Politics - Part 1 - The Deepest Political Analysis You'll Ever Hear (pg 5)

410. [x] Conscious Politics - Part 2 - Foundational Insights About Political Ideology (pg 6)

411. [x] Conscious Politics - Part 3 - The Core Principles Of Conscious Politics (pg 6)

412. [x] Conscious Politics - Part 4 - 100+ Specific Policy Proposals (pg 11)

413. [x] Self-Bias - Why All Worldviews Are So Skewed (pg 7)

414. [x] What Is Truth? - The Definitive Answer (pg 7)

415. [] The Power Of Letting Go - How To Overcome Clinginess, Attachment, OCD

416. [x] What Is Love? - Part 2 - The Brutal Nature Of Love (pg 6)

417. [x] How Fear Works - Part 1 - The Ultimate Guide To Dealing With Fear (pg 6) (pg 10)

418. [x] How Fear Works - Part 2 - The Ultimate Guide To Dealing With Fear (pg 6) (pg 10)

419. [x] Understanding Impermanence - Why Reality Is Always Changing (pg 6)

420. [] Announcement - Actualized.org Launching On Patreon + Vision For The Future

421. [x] The Many Facets Of Awakening - List of Top 30 Enlightenment Insights (pg 7)

422. [x] How Corruption Works (pg 6)

423. [] The Dangers Of Spiritual Work

424. [x] How To Discover What's True - A Deep Inquiry (pg 13)

425. [x] Content vs Structure - Going Meta Is A Super-power (pg 15)

426. [x] What Is Death? - How Immortality Works (pg 8)

427. [] Self-Love - The Highest Teaching In The Universe

428. [x] Division vs Unity - The Engine That Runs Reality (pg 8)

429. [] Why Reality CANNOT Be A Simulation - A Clear Answer ?

430. [] Reproduction Is An Illusion - Why It Doesn't Matter If You Have Kids ?

431. [] Total Awakening Live In Real Time - Part 1 ?

432. [] Total Awakening Live In Real Time - Part 2 ?️

433. [x] Explicit vs Implicit Understanding (pg 7)

434. [] How Psychedelics Work - Making Sense Of Psychedelics

435. [x] How Society Evolves - Introducing The World Values Survey (pg 9)

436. [] I'm Leaving To Pursue Awakening & Healing - March 2020

437. [x] Outrageous Experiments In Consciousness - 30 Awakenings In 30 Days (pg 8)

438. [] How Openmindedness Works - Exercises To Open Your Mind

439. [x] Life Advice For Young People - Part 1 (pg 8)

440. [x] How To Forgive Anyone Who Hurt You - A Powerful Trauma Release Exercise (pg 15)

441. [] Learning = Making Distinctions - The Secret To Rapid & Deep Learning

442. [x] Life Advice For Young People - Part 2 (pg 8)

443. [] The Ultimate Structure Of Reality Explained

444. [] Understanding Democracy & Authoritarianism

445. [] Why Libertarianism Is Nonsense - Deconstructing Freedom

446. [] What If Reality Is Nothing But Perspective?

447. [] Why Is There Something Rather Than Nothing?

448. [x] Spiral Dynamics - Stage Red (pg 9)

449. [x] Spiral Dynamics - Stage Purple (pg 14)

450. [x] The 9 Stages Of Ego Development - Part 1 (pg 9)

451. [x] The 9 Stages Of Ego Development - Part 2 (pg 9)

452. [x] The 9 Stages Of Ego Development - Part 3 (pg 9)

453. [x] The Trap Of The Toxic Life Purpose (pg 9)

454. [x] Developing Introspection - The Solution To The Problem Of Self-Deception (pg 9)

455. [x] The Sneaky Psychology Behind Conspiracy Theories (pg 9)

456. [] What Is Actualized.org? - The Big Picture of Personal Development

457. [] Guided Exercises For Understanding Infinite Consciousness

458. [x] Deconstructing The Myth Of Science - Part 1 (pg 12)

459. [x] Deconstructing The Myth Of Science - Part 2 (pg 12)

460. [x] Deconstructing The Myth Of Science - Part 3 (pg 12)

461. [x] Should You Go To College? - Common Traps & Mistakes (pg 10)

462. [] What Is Goodness? - Good & Morality Fully Explained

463. [] Guided Exercise For Realizing You Are God

464. [x] What Is Wisdom? - The Ultimate Guide To Wisdom (pg 10)

465. [x] What Are Holons? - Understanding Holism - Part 1 (pg 10)

466. [x] Holism & Holistic Thinking - Part 1 (pg 11)

467. [x] Holism & Holistic Thinking - Part 2 (pg 11)

468. [x] What It Means To "Go Meta” (pg 12)

469. [] Is Actualized.org a Cult?

470. [x] What Is Integrity? - The Role Of Integrity In Life (pg 10)

471. [x] How Survival Shapes Who You Are (pg 14)

472. [] Is Gender A Social Construct? - A Profound Explanation

473. [] Making Sense of Jordan Peterson

474. [] An Advanced Explanation of God Realization

475. [] The Dangers of Misapplying Spiritual Teachings ?️?

476. [x] Understanding and Coping with Nihilism (pg 15)

477. [] How Modern Branding Exploits and Abuses You

478. [] Expose Yourself to More Experience

479. [] Not Everything Can Be Explained Simply

480. [] Why God Forgives Devilry

481. [x] How Your Mind Interprets Reality (pg 13)

482. [] Relative vs Absolute Truth

483. [] The Social Matrix - How Society Is A Mass Hallucination

484. [x] The Top Dangers Of Using Psychedelics (pg 14)

485. [x] The Root Solution To People Pleasing & Loneliness (pg 14)

486. [x] Satisfaction Meditation - How To Make Meditation Enjoyable! (pg 16)

487. [] What Does Awakening Feel Like?

488. [] Everyone Acts From Good Intentions

489. [x] Why Valuable Things Require Development Over Time (pg 16)

490. [] Understanding Bias - Bias, Love, & Mind Explained ?

491. [] Life, It's All A Mind Game!

492. [] Introducing 5-MeO-MALT - The Other God Molecule

493. [] Does Free Will Exist? - What Is Will?

494. [] What Is Paradox? - Why Does Paradox Exist?

495. [] Leo's Worst Bad Trips - Psychedelics Gone Wrong

496. [] Motivational Speech - Oct 2021

497. [] Assumption Is The Mother Of All F**k-Ups

498. [] Burning Through Karma - How To Exhaust Material Desires ?

499. [x] How To Get Laid - Part 1 - The Foundations Of Success With Women (pg 16) (pg 16)

500. [x] How To Get Laid - Part 2 - Outer Game Techniques (pg 16) (pg 16)

501. [x] How To Get Laid - Part 3 - The Top Principles Of Game (pg 16) (pg 16)

502. [] How To Detox Heavy Metals (Lead & Mercury)

503. [] Creation vs Destruction ??

504. [] The Avoidance Of Truth - Why You Fear Truth ?

505. [] Understanding War & Conflict - Part 1

506. [] How To Avoid Getting Scammed, Cheated, Exploited, Conned, and Screwed In Life

 

Edited October 26 by FlyingLotus

[FlyingLotus]

(A super important foundational episode that needed a thorough summary.  It’s so important I typed a swear word, which I try not to do!   Timestamps come from Omkar Parab on YouTube )

 

161.  Summary: How To Stop Being A Victim - The #1 Reason You Are Stuck In Life

     -This is one of the most important, foundational episodes on Actualized.org.   It’s so important Leo reshot it 5 times!  This video has the potential to transform people’s lives if they just listen to it. 

      (The second part to this episode is How To Stop Being A Victim - Part 2.  Summary to episode can be found here.)

     -So many people are not getting the results they want in life because they are playing the Victim.  They aren't taking responsibility for their life, so they don’t have a strong foundation from which to do personal development.

     -If you’re stuck in your life, if you feel like you haven’t been getting the results you wanted, if you feel frustrated in any area of your life, you’re probably being a Victim.  You need to stop it.  You need to take back control of your life.

     -It’s tricky because when you’re a Victim, you don’t realize you’re thinking and behaving that way. That’s what’s so dangerous and crippling about Victim mentality.  You will not get anywhere in life if you keep thinking like a Victim.   

     -You can talk to a Victim, or read their comments online, and they’ll have Victim energy pouring out of them.  When you try to help a Victim, they just pile on story after story of excuses, blaming and complaining.

     -It’s really dangerous because Victim thinking is a self-fulfilling prophesy.  It stops you from moving forward and taking the necessary actions to get results.  The worst thing is Victims really believe they’re stuck, when the only thing keeping them stuck is their own thinking.

 

What We Mean By ‘Victim”

     -What is a Victim? A Victim is somebody who gives away control.  When we say, “he’s been Victimized” what does that mean?  It means that something happened to him against his will.  He had no control over the situation and no ability to respond to it.  It just happened, and now he has to suffer through it, without any options.  That’s just the cards he was dealt.

           The foundation of all personal development is to believe you have the power and ability to create any kind of life you desire.  Now, this might sound nice on paper, in reality, it’s a challenge.  It’s hard to live and embody this principle.

     -Also, this video isn’t just for people who are total Victims.  If you’re frustrated in any area of your life, no matter how small, the reason you’re not getting the results you want is because you have Victim thinking.  If not across your entire life, then in a specific area of your life.  That is something that needs to be worked out.

     -Even if you’ve done years of personal development and you’ve exorcised a lot of demons from your psyche, you can still that Victim energy in pinpointed areas.  You need to always be on the lookout for Victim energy, so you can pull it out by the root.  That’s what this episode’s encouraging you to do.

     -Taking one hundred percent responsibility for your life is the foundation of all personal development.  100%.  That’s difficult to hear, but it will revolutionize your life if you heed it.

 

The Fundamental Question

-Who do you think is ultimately responsible for the quality of your life? (6:45)

• Is it your parents?
• Is it your family?
• Is it your environment?
• Is it your friends?
• Is it your co-workers?
• Is it your boss?
• Is it your husband or your wife or your kids?
• Is it that girlfriend or boyfriend that you’ve got?
• Is it your genetics?
• Is it your own history?
• Is it how you were raised?
• Is it the economy?
• Is it the country you grew up in?
• Is it the political climate that you’re living under?
• Is it the media?
• Is it society?
• Is it entertainment? 
• Is it Hollywood?
• Is it the news?
• What is responsible for the quality of your life?
• Who is responsible for the quality of your life?

-If you answer anything but ‘ME,’ you’re thinking like a victim, and you’re going to get the results that a victim gets, which are pretty bad.   

-To create the kind of life you want, you’ll have to accept something you don’t want to accept, you’ll have to do something radical that you don’t want to do.  You will have to take complete, utter, 100% responsibility for everything in your life that ever happens.  That means that all those other factors won’t be used as excuses, stories, obstacles or as any kind of justification to stop from becoming a powerful creator.

-There are six areas that you need to take 100% responsibility in: success, failure, emotions, accidents, circumstances, relationships.

 

Success And Failure

-Taking responsibility for your own success is pretty easy (9:40).  A promotion, a great relationships, impressive well behaved children (chips off the old block, after all).  You worked really hard for that career.  You developed great social skills to attract that hottie.  You make sure to spend quality time with your kids.

            (Actually, some people don’t take enough responsibility or credit for their success.  Maybe they’re scared of being seen as arrogant, maybe they were shamed for outshining others, so that could be happening too.  If it is, you need to explore that.  Refusing to take ownership of your success is destructive to your self-esteem.  Teal Swan has great videos about Humility and Self-Hate as coping mechanisms.)

 

-What’s the hard thing to take responsibility for?  Your failures.

            What about all the situations where you’re not getting the results you want in your life?  Like the 10 lbs you can’t lose, the immature guys you keep dating, the money you can’t save.  What about the negative thinking that’s going on all the time in your head, the worrying, the anxiety, the fears? Something’s not working there.  Failures and failures happen, but a Victim will blame others and situations for those failures rather than take responsibility.

 

Emotions

-Taking responsibility for your emotions is huge, because most people do not get this part right.  Victims believe that emotions are caused by other people or external situations.  That promotion makes you feel happy, getting fired makes you feel sad, having a breakup makes you feel depressed, or someone insulting you makes you angry.

            In fact, you’re the one who’s generating all those emotions with what you value (ep: Understanding Meaning, Purpose, & Value).  You have to start taking responsibility for all the feelings you have.  The feelings you have about the external world come from the meanings you assign it.  That comes from your inner world, from you!

• ep: Master Your Emotions.
• ep: Understanding Emotions.
• ep: Dealing with Strong Negative Emotions.  Summary is here.
• post: Integrating Emotions,  by moderator @universe.

 

Accidents

-This is where it starts to get a little bit radical.  Taking 100% responsibility for your life, means everything (12:10).  This also means accidents and bad luck.  So, what qualifies as an accident?

• You go to work and lock your house, but it gets burglarized anyway, even though you locked all your doors.
• You’re sitting in traffic at a red light and someone rear-ends you, crashes right into you.
• You invest some money in the stock market and the market crashes.  Even if the whole economy collapsed, you’re still responsible for that.

“But Leo, why would I take responsibility for that kind of stuff? It’s out of my control!”

Taking responsibility for bad luck sounds radical doesn’t it!!  However, it’s in your best interest to start taking responsibility for what’s seemingly out of your control.  Although you don’t fully control circumstances, you do control your response to circumstances.

 

Circumstances

The next area is life circumstances.  What does ‘circumstances’ mean? Life circumstances means stuff like…

• The family you grew up in.
• The country that you live in now.
• The genetics that you had when you were born.
• The amount of money that you have now in your bank account?
• The political system that’s in power in your country?

These are all circumstances.  Most people really like to use circumstances as the reason why they can’t do what they want in their life.

 

Relationships

-Taking responsibility for relationships is huge (14:50).  A lot of people are miserable in their life because of the low quality of relationships that they have, whether it’s friends, spouses, bosses, girlfriends, boyfriends, family, and so forth.

            This happens because it’s so easy and tempting to blame others when something’s not going right in a relationship. We do that pretty much every time, which is a huge problem.  Every single relationship that’s making you feel bad or frustrated, you’re completely responsible for that feeling!  You’re completely responsible for that dynamic that’s going on between you and the other person.

-If you take responsibility for all these areas, plus anything that’s been left out, you’re going to set the foundation that  will propel you into creating the life you desire. If you refuse to take responsibility here, then you’re going to experience a lot of suffering and bad results.

 

Natural Upward Progression

-Most people live lives that are stuck.  Although there’s a natural upward growth from their childhood to their teens, once they leave high school or college they stop learning.  After about twenty-one, that natural growth starts to level out and plateau.  Then their personal development start to decay.  Their worldview congeals, they start living on auto-pilot and then they deteriorate.  It’s very sad.

-You don’t have to live like that.  You can experience constant upward growth.  When you commit to personal development your growth won’t just be linear, it can be exponential!  Every year you can build yourself up with new mindsets, techniques, ways to view the world.  Taking lots of action and generating results can motivate you even more.  It can empower you, literally empower you because you’re creating tools that will allow you to have new capabilities.

-Exponential growth feels so invigorating.  That’s what’s possible for you, for growth to feel amazing and not like a grind.

 

The Personal Development Model

If you take personal development seriously you can go from being a low conscious victim to a high consciousness creator (19:00).  There’s a spectrum of consciousness with victims at the lowest end. There are various degrees of consciousness, life stages and levels of development along this spectrum.  These are the four stages…

 

     1) The Victim

-A Victim believes that they don’t have much control in life.  What the Victim often feels is a sense of frustration and apathy.

-A Victim doesn’t even want to start taking action because they believe that they don’t have the ability to succeed.  They believe that there are obstacles and roadblocks that are insurmountable that it’s simply impossible and that they can’t do it, so this is where they are.  The problem is that a Victim is doing all this unconsciously.

            He doesn’t really understand what’s going on here.  He’s not even making the choice to be a Victim, it’s being made for him by default.  Nevertheless, this choice is being made and it’s very, very crippling.  What’s most scary about this is that people don’t see they’re doing it.  That’s the lowest possible consciousness.

 

     2) The Fighter

-If you get a little bit more consciousness you evolve into the Fighter.  What is the Fighter all about?  Conflict.  It’s conflict energy.  It’s this idea that we live in a “dog eat dog” world.

“The world is harsh.  Reality is harsh.  I need to fight for my survival, to protect my family.  I always, always need to fight, to compete, because life is a zero sum game.”

            It’s believing that, if I win then somebody else has to lose.  If somebody else is a winner, that makes me a loser.  So there’s this constant tug of war, or this constant clashing.  That’s conflict energy.

-You probably know people like this.  People who are combative and angry a lot.  People who get in your face, who get easily frustrated.  People who feel like they have to slave away in order to succeed.  That is a Fighter.

            Although a lot of this fighting energy can be very nasty to be around, you could make the case that it’s actually better than being a Victim.  Why is this? Because at least the Fighter believes that he has some control.

-The Victim believes he has no control; the Fighter believes that he has control, but has to work really, really hard for it.   He feels he must take control back from other people in order to have it.

 

     3) The Creator

-As you move up the consciousness spectrum, once you take quite a bit of responsibility, you get to the Creator phase.

             What is the Creator?  The Creator is someone who realizes that life is what they make of it.  The Creator is someone who realizes that yes, even though there are challenges in life, every single obstacle has some sort of work-around.  Everything that’s blocking you can be dissolved, coped with, dealt with or accepted to the point where you feel at peace or even happy.

-The Creator is all about creating the kind of life that he wants.  That’s because he’s taken more responsibility than the Fighter and the Victim.  The difference between the Fighter and the Creator is that the Creator is really focused on making stuff and taking massive action.

            Making stuff with his career, relationships, creativity and so forth.  Whereas the Fighter is always fighting stuff, his own health, his need for sleep, his co-workers, his wife and kids.

-The Creator doesn’t believe that fighting and competing is the best way.  The Creator believes that it’s much better to just focus on creating what you want.  He leaves the competing and worrying to others, because he's too busy creating awesome stuff.

 

     4) The Final Stage

-The final stage is an advanced stage that very few people ever reach.  This should be the aim of personal development for you, in fact.  This is the ultimate vision for you: Being At Peace.  It’s even better than being a Creator!

-This is maximum consciousness.  When you’re At Peace you go full circle because just like the Victim who believes he has no control, the person who’s At Peace is just being and existing.

            He is a creative person, but it’s like the life force is just flowing through him.  He has surrendered to the creative process.  His job is to remove every single element of resistance within himself, get out of the way and ride the current of life.

            It’s hard to believe this is even possible, but it is.  If you’re a Victim or a Fighter it’s hard to see all the way to the highest end of the consciousness spectrum.  It takes a lot of work and it won’t happen naturally.

-You should ultimately aim to Be At Peace, but your main focus is to get from being a Victim to at least the Fighter, but really, the Creator. You want to be a Creator in your life.  Substitute Victim energy for Creator energy.  That’s going to set you up to move up and up the consciousness spectrum, towards a greater and greater life.

 

Responsibility vs Blaming

-All this might be difficult to hear.  You might be saying, “but Leo, some of this sounds good in theory, but you’re telling me to take responsibility for things I had nothing to do with!  I didn’t choose my genetics, or my parents, or getting cheated on, or crashed into by that drunk.  What on earth are you thinking?”

             There’s a big difference between responsibility and blame (26:26).  Taking responsibility doesn’t mean being hyper self-critical and negative about yourself.  You aren’t to blame for your genetics, or your bad relationships, or all the abuses, injustices and bad accidents that you’ve suffered in life.  What we really mean here is responsibility—your ability to respond in the present moment.

            A lot of people and especially victims tend to think, “but Leo, I can’t move on because of all of this negative stuff that happened to me in the past.  I had bad relationships, a bad family, all these dysfunctions and bad luck.  How can I get over that?”

            What you fail to realize is that problems in the past don’t actually exist.  In fact, the past itself doesn’t exist.  The past is couched in the present moment. You access the past through the present moment.  For the past to hold you back, you have to think about it in the present moment.

 

You Have Control Over The Present

-The present is where you have control.  You always have control over how you interpret a situation and how you choose to respond, despite what’s happened to you. If you’re conscious you have this option.  The higher your consciousness, the more resourceful your reactions will be.

            Many Victims don’t believe they have this option because they’re unconscious.  They don’t want to see it.  They don’t want to believe that they have the ability to respond in the present moment.  So even if you were abused, you can respond to it now in a different way.

            If you want to create a whole story that labels you as a victim, you could say the universe sucks.  That you were wronged and you’re incapable of learning, growing and moving past it.  That’s one option.

Another option is to say…

“I don’t want to do that.  I want to create my life.  I want to have a happy, amazing, successful life.  I want to self-actualize.  I’m not going to let anything that has happened to me in the past hold me back.  I’m going to choose the most resourceful interpretation of my circumstances that I possibly can.”

“I’m going to take complete responsibility right now, for everything.  I’m going to have control over my actions going forward.”

“If I was born in a poor country that didn’t have lots of opportunity, I’m going to take responsibility for that.  I can’t go back and change that, it is what it is, but I can respond to it right now.  I can choose to think of it in an empowering way.  I can choose to shape my future right now.”

“I can move to a different country.  I can try out all sorts of options to change my circumstances.  Even if I can’t change my circumstances, ultimately I still have choice.  I choose how I think about what I can’t control. I can control how I feel by choosing the meaning I ascribe to events.”

“Through this process, I will either create the life circumstances that I want, or if I fail to do that, I will still create the happiness I want.  So either way I win.”

 

The Paradox of Personal Development

-That’s how a Creator thinks.  It’s very different from a Victim.  It’s a 180° difference, a paradigm shift, which is why it’s so important to explore it from different angles.

            If you’re a Victim then just telling you once isn’t going to do much for you.  Your brain is one of the most amazing mechanisms for creating excuses.  It’s like an excuse creation machine. Your brain has gotten really, really good with the stories, the excuses, the blaming, the complaining and the whining.  It will say anything to stop you from going out of your comfort zone to pursue something bigger and greater.

-It’s a paradox of personal development that to get great results in life, you have to trust yourself, but you also have to question everything about yourself.  Your brain is constantly hijacking you behind enemy lines, so you have to become even more aware of how you self-deceive, self-sabotage and manipulate yourself to stay stuck.

-A Victim cannot trust himself, but once you move out of Victim to Creator you can really start trusting yourself.  Your self trustworthiness will be even higher when you’re in the At Peace stage, but that’s going to take some work.

 

If you’re heavily, heavily soaked in Victim mentality

you have to be very careful about how much you trust yourself.

 

-Notice what you’re saying to yourself throughout this episode.  You're probably not assessing your potential accurately.  All the excuses and counter points that your brain is coming up with shouldn't be trusted.  You’ve got to be really careful about all that because it's keeping you stuck.

 

Why Do Victims Want to Stay Victims?

-It’s important to understand why do Victims want to stay Victims?  Leo will try to advise victims, but they don’t want to listen.  In fact, usually when you tell a Victim that he’s being a victim, he doesn’t just say thank you and change.  He usually gets angry and defensive.  He’ll start blaming you for accusing him of all this negative stuff.

“But Leo, you don’t understand, I actually am a victim.  You don’t know what it’s like to be me.  My life is so miserable, because…”

-What’s scary, is all these excuses and stories seem incredibly real.  They take on a life of their own and become a self-fulfilling prophecy, even though it doesn’t have to be that way.

 

From Victim To Exponential Growth

-Leo had four areas of his life where he was a Victim for a long time (35:00).  He had an epiphany that he didn’t have to be a Victim anymore.  His results skyrocketed, because he made a critical decision to say “no more victim-thinking.”  As soon as that happened, he experienced massive personal growth.

     Education

-In jr high he wasn’t very good academically, but when he finished his first year of high school something triggered in him.  He got really focused on education and spent the rest of high school and college studying really, really hard.  He zeroed in on academics.

            In many ways that decision, that hard work, set up an amazing foundation for the rest of his life. That mindset didn’t happen until he made a very clear decision that he wanted to focus on his education.

 

     Health

-Leo used to be fat Leo.  He was 65 lbs overweight from childhood to early college.  In the middle of college, he had an epiphany that he could get fit and be responsible for his own health.  That was very challenging for him to accept because he’d been such a Victim about his health and eating habits for such a long time.

            When he took ownership of this decision, his health completely turned around.  He lost 65 lbs in five months.  He’s been able to keep the weight off to this day.

 

     Career and Work

-Leo’s first job was the one he’d wanted since childhood.  But his dream job turned out much different than he expected.  It made him frustrated and miserable.

            This also made him angry with the world.  He’d become a game designer because he had all these amazing ideas he wanted to bring to fruition.  Sure he was working at a big studio, but fulfilling his vision required massive capital.  He’d need millions of dollars, but he didn’t have anything near that in savings.  Even though he had a “good job” with benefits, he was barely able to make ends meet.

            So he started becoming miserable and toxic.  He was frustrated because he had all these amazing ideas but believed that the world wasn't letting him express them. That belief started ruining his relationships.  It made him impossible to work for.

            One day he had an epiphany.  He actually did have control over this situation.  All these obstacles with money, opportunity and business weren’t going away, but he could take them on as a challenge. He could decide to get out there, work really hard and find the tough solutions that would resolve his problem.  That’s what he did.

            Within a few months he quit his job and started an online marketing company.  That business has generated over a million dollars of cash profit, just from one decision to take responsibility.  He knows if he didn’t take responsibility right then and there, he would’ve stayed stuck.  Instead of enjoying exponential personal growth, he would’ve become more and more toxic.  His life would have decayed, because the toxicity would’ve built up inside him.

 

     Dating And Relationships

-Leo had to take massive responsibility in the area of dating and relationships.  He was bad at attracting and understanding women.  He didn’t know how to get romantic relationships to work.  He didn’t take responsibility for this until he was 26.  It was a very specific moment where he declared,

“I get to control my sex life.  I get to control how attractive I am to women.  I get to control what kind of relationships I get into.  I get to control who I end up with.”

            When he committed to that, his results skyrocketed.  He did a lot of hard, hard work to make that happen, but it resulted in some of the deepest personal growth he’s ever had.  It was harder than studying his ass off in college, harder than losing 65 lbs, harder than finessing his way into his childhood dream job, harder than creating a million dollar business, and even harder than moderating the Actualized.org forums ?.

-I’m sure you’ve had areas in your life where you’ve had to overcome big challenges and say, “I have to take responsibility, now.  I can take on this challenge.”

-So, why do people become victims and stay victims? It happens because it’s freaking scary.  It’s scary to admit to yourself that you’re actually responsible for all of it.

            Why is that scary? Because that means you now have to do the work.  People want to stay in their comfort zone, but they need to start thinking radically different to become a Creator.

-If you’re really stuck with a tough problem (financial, health, romantic, relational, etc) it means your current way of thinking needs to change.  The status quo isn’t enough to get you where you want to go.  

            This doesn’t mean you’re incapable and it’s impossible.  It means you’re currently incapable because you need to grow.  You need to do whatever it takes.

            It’s like your problem is at a level 8 and you’re at a level 2 of development. The challenge is greater than your current level.  This makes you think the challenge is insurmountable, but there are many people who could easily step over this challenge.  It’s not even an obstacle for them.

            Why is that?  It’s not because the challenge is any different; it’s because they themselves are more developed. They weren’t born different; they developed themselves to a higher level.  They aren’t more resourceful, or more capable, they are just more experienced. (ep: Expose Yourself to More Experience)

 

The Best Tool For Overcoming Challenges

-Personal development is the best tool for overcoming sticky problems, because some life challenges are so big you can’t overcome them at your current level of development.

            Maybe you’ve got a level eight challenge and you’re a level two person.  That’s a big level gap.  That’s something you’ll have to work hard at, raising yourself higher and higher until you become a level four person, then level five, six, seven, eight.  Then you get to level nine and suddenly that challenge stops being a challenge.

            Leo went through thousands and thousands of hours of hard work to level up his education, fitness, communications skills and career, so that he now has the freedom to research and make videos for us ?.

-It takes a lot of emotional labor to be brutally honest with yourself.  To not bullshit yourself, to break down your ego, to achieve the results you envision and then really lock in those changes.  That’s not something the average person wants to do, which is why the average person gets ? for results.

            Leo had to grow himself along with his business, dating life and career.  The amount of time and energy he put into this was so ridiculous most people wouldn’t believe it.  He moved to Vegas so he could practice pickup every night.  He sometimes got rejected so hard he’d leave the club crying.  When was the last time you practiced so hard you cried?  He invested thousands of hours just to get that one girlfriend he wanted!

-The problem is you’re not taking enough action if you’re a Victim. If you’re a victim in life you need to take massive action.  The only way you’ll do that is by believing you can, and also cutting the excuses.  As long as there’s excuses, stories and blaming, you’ll be too demoralized to take action.

-There’s a difference between a little bit of action and massive, freaking action.  Most Victims try something a few times and say,

“But Leo I tried that, it doesn’t work.  I went to the gym, or meditated, and it didn’t change my life in a week.  I submitted twenty resumes and didn’t get my dream job.  I tried studying hard and I didn’t get an A+.  I’m just really bad at life, because…”

-The reason it didn’t work is because you weren’t taking massive action.  Not minor action, but…

 

Massive. Fucking. Action.

 

Don’t Underestimate The Amount of Action Necessary

-You may think you took a lot of action, but you didn’t.  Your action was too little and it probably wasn’t effective.  When you take effective massive action almost any obstacle will crumble before you, or you’ll find a work-around.

            We always underestimate how much action is necessary.  We like to tell ourselves that we’ve already taken massive action because it’s soothing to the ego.  Your brain doesn’t actually know how much action is necessary.

-That’s why it’s good to be around really exceptional people (47:22). It’s good to have mentors, role models and people who are way, way, way better than you.  You see how they think, how dedicated they are and you start to realize what massive action looks like.  "Damn, I’m not taking any action compared to that guy.  The lengths he’s going to get results are incredible.”

eg: Cal Newport discusses deep work and deliberate practice.

-You’re right, you can’t do it right now, but you could build yourself up.  So, cut the excuses, the whining, the blaming, the story making and be very honest with yourself.

“Forget the ego.  I want results.  I want happiness.  I’ve only got this one life.  I’ve got to make it happen.  To do that I’m willing to take massive, massive, massive freaking action on this challenge."

"I’m going to hit it from every single angle until I find a solution, or I find a way to cope and learn to be happy with it.  Either way something’s going to work for me.”

-That’s how a Creator thinks.  Do not trust your brain to estimate how much action is necessary to be good at something.  Do not trust your brain to tell you that you’re doing enough.  I can guarantee you’re massively underestimating how much work is needed to become great at the things you want to master.

 

Victim Labels

-Victims use specific words and phrases that reinforce their Victim thinking.  It keeps their stories and excuses in place.  When you read this list…

• a) Really look for which phrases you use yourself.
• b) Notice what areas of your life you use them in.
• c) As you go through life, whenever you notice this negative, victim self-talk pattern going on, interrupt yourself and say, “Okay, that’s where I’m being a Victim!”
• d) Then say to yourself, “I need to take more massive action right here.” Or, “I need to learn a new technique, a new strategy to handle this.” So it’s not just about working hard, it’s also about working smart.

-This is a list of phrases that keep Victims stuck in life.  Knowing this list can be a very powerful tool for identifying Victim thinking and self-deception within yourself and within others. (49:35)

• I can’t.  That’s not me.  How can I? 

  This is probably the most common and worst thing that victims will say that to themselves and to other people.

• It’s impossible.

• It’s too hard.

• Life is unfair, or evil, or bad.  How can we be happy in a bad world?

• I must, I need to, I have to. 

  There’s nothing that you need or must or should do in your life.  All that stuff is up to you.  It’s a big trap.

• I’ve never done that.  

  “You’re telling me to go out there and do this crazy thing?  You’re telling me to do some public speaking, or start a business or start working out, or eat healthy, or mediate, or do all this personal development stuff?  I don’t know how to do that.  I’ve never done that before.” Well, time to learn.  That’s why you got a brain.

• What if I fail? 

  “Leo, what if I start a business, or trust that guy and he turns out to be an abusive jerk?” “What if I try meditating, or working out, or watching your videos and I fail?” Well, if at first you don’t succeed, you try, try again.  That’s why massive action is required, because there’s going to be massive failure.

• But it’s his fault. 

  “It’s my wife’s fault, or my husband’s, or that fuckboi’s, or those feminists, or the global elites, etc.  Blaming other people. This is a huge, huge obstacle for victims.

• I’ve already tried that.  None of that stuff works. 

  “But Leo, I’ve already tried meditation, dieting, working out, starting a business, submitting some resumes, public speaking etc.”  Massive fucking action.  Take more action and it will work for you. You massively overestimate how much you’ve tried stuff. Most people only try stuff once or twice, if that.  Sometimes you need to try stuff a hundred times before it works.  You need to have persistence to do that.

• Never and Always. 

  Victims love to talk like this, “That will never happen” or “this always happens.”  “I always get bad luck, I always fail.  I never get any luck.  I never succeed.  I never get it easy.  I never get a break.”  Watch for those.

• I’ll try...  I’ll give it a shot... 

  “Sounds good, I’ll try to start a business, or lose some weight, or heal my depression, or meditate.”  How far do you think you’ll get if you just keep trying stuff?  Do or do not.

• Maybe...  I think… 

  “Maybe I’ll lose some weight next year.”  “Maybe I’ll set a goal for my business next year.”  “Maybe I’ll earn a little bit more money next year.”  “I think that could work.”  “I think I’d like to be passionate about my life.”  “I think I’d like to have a nice wife or husband.”  “I think I’d like to lose some weight.”

• I’m not good enough.  

  “How am I going to do that? Build a business?  I’m not smart enough.” “Study really hard?  I’m not good at focusing.” “Relationships?  But, I’m so scared of getting hurt.” “Grow myself, do personal development?  I’m not capable enough.  I’ve got XYZ limitation”.

• There’s no point.  

  “What’s the point in doing all this hard work?  Of growing yourself, developing yourself?  Life’s so pointless.  It’s all going to be bad in the end, we’re all going to die in the end anyways.  Why bother?”

• It’s too much effort. 

  “I get what you’re saying.  You’ve got to work really hard to get the results you want, but I don’t want to work that hard.  You’re telling me to take this massive action to improve this area of my life.  Why would I want to work so hard to be happy?”

• It’s too late for me. 

  “That’s all great for young people, but not me.  If I saw this video ten, twenty years ago, maybe it would have done some good.  It’s too late to start a business, or lose weight, or go back to school, or meditate, or be smart.  It’s too late to do personal development.” It’s never too late. Besides, what else are you going to do with your life?  Be sucky and miserable?

• It’s easy for you.  I don’t have all the stuff you have. 

  “You had a head start.  You do this professionally.  You had a good childhood.  You had this, you had that.  I have the following list of disabilities and incapabilities.  How am I going to do it?”  That’s why you grow yourself the way every successful person has.  They didn’t always have this stuff.  They worked really freaking hard to get it.

• How am I going to do it? 

  “I got all jazzed up and sat down to strategize, but I don’t know how.  I got really excited, and drew up my big vision, but [/b]I don’t know how I’m going to accomplish all of this stuff.[/b]”

• I don’t know how to start.  How do I get from A to B? 

  That’s called doing research.  You go out there and look for role models, read books, study, watch more videos, do online courses, go through a process of trial and error.  Again, massive action, and then you’ll know how.  Until then, you have to trust yourself.

 

Wrap Up

-Right now all the stories, all the excuses, all the blaming, all the whining, all the complaining stops (58:58).  It stops right now.  You decide to take full responsibility for your life, 100%.

            No more blaming anyone or any external circumstance.  You’re taking full creative authority over your own life. In the end, the quality of your life is only determined by you, your thoughts and your actions.  That’s it.

            This is not something that happens in one day.  One episode’s not going to do it, but hopefully, it’s triggered something in you.  Brought you inspiration and clarity.

-Personal development isn’t something you do as a chore.  You do this because it’s exciting.  This can be the most fun, interesting and passionate thing in your life because personal development is your life.  You get to construct whatever kind of life that you want.

-If you accept that you’re a Creator then you’ll want every possible tool and mindset to carryout your vision for happiness, career, relationships, health, to inner success and your life purpose.

Edited November 8, 2021 by FlyingLotus

[peqkno]

17 hours ago, FlyingLotus said:

225. [] Avoiding Dysfunctional & Abusive Relationships - 30+ Red Flags

225. Avoiding Dysfunctional & Abusive Relationships - 30+ Red Flags

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WY9JqrmAI4Q)

• an obstacle to self-actualization
• people are wasting years

Ask your partner as you're dating them about their history of relationships, business, work, friendships, life, backstory, …
Opening up to you in a relationship
Be a good judge of the values of the individual. Do they value love?

 

Red Flags

1. Substance abuse (addiction)
   • Alcohol, drugs, smoking
2. Partner is asking to borrow money
   • Never ever, especially under pressure
3. History of Cheating, Stealing, Swindling, Arrests or even Jail time
   • Stories about cheating on a test or you see them stealing pencils
4. If the person runs a shady (half-illegal) business
5. History of short/few/many relationships
6. Evasive about past relationship history
7. Are they evasive in conversation in general?
8. The person can't hold onto a job
   • Ask about their job history
9. If your partner is losing friends (friends are leaving them) or has no friends (though they may be introverted or just moved city)
10. When your partner expects money/gifts/favors from you
    • Hinting and bartering and exchange
11. Chronically showing up late
12. Flakiness or forgetfulness
13. Possessive or jealous
    • Trying to control you
    • Insecurity about you having male friends as a woman
14. Very clingy, always there to answer calls and text messages and be at your doorstep
15. If the person needs to see you more than 3 times a week
    • Demands seeing you almost every (other) day
      • Or is texting you every day
        (another sign that they try to get their fulfillment in life from the relationship – codependency)
16. Too busy to see you once a week
    • Putting the relationship at such a low priority, probably not willing to fix any problems that will come up
17. They're unwilling to learn better communication skills
    • If nothing gets communicated and stuff gets swept under the rug, it becomes toxic
    • High quality communication, work on the teamwork
    • Also: If they are unwilling to learn about relationships and how they function
      • Maintain and actively improve the relationship
18. Lies to other people
19. If they like to lie by omission
    • Leaving out a critical fact that changes the context
    • Manipulate use of truth
    • = manipulative
20. Always in an emergency situation
    • Car accident, breaking a foot, getting fired, …
    • = unstable and ungrounded and can't steer their own life
21. Perfectionism
    • Hypercritical of everything
    • Also of you, even when quiet
    • Destroy their image of you and then the relationship
      • Never satisfied
      • When they see something better they leave you
22. Cutthroat in business
    • Puts pressure on people, sews(?) people, …
    • You're dating a vicious dog, and hell eventually come to bite "the owner" too
23. Narcissism
    1. Overly driven by money, power and fame.
       1. Won't be happy in life
    2. At expense of everything, even their integrity and relationship
24. Completely oblivious to the opinions of other people
    • Lack compassion
    • Isn't open for feedback
25. Calling you foul language names and is raising your voice
    • In a healthy relationship: No arguing until the point of yelling. Open lines of communication.
26. Does the person snap at other people?
    • It's gonna be reflected back at you.
27. Do they break things or throw things?
    • Throwing vases and flowerpots, smashing doors and punching holes through walls
    • If it happens once, immediate disqualifier. Guaranteed dysfunctional relationship.
28. Do they threaten you by telling you they're gonna leave the relationship
    • "Hey, I have this grievance and criticism." → "Well, if you're upset I'm gonna leave."
    • If it happens even once, immediate disqualifier.
29. Blames you for everything
    • You both need to take 100% responsibility for your part in the relationship
    • Take responsibility yourself
30. Psych medications
    • If they have psychological problems and are seeing a psychiatrist and are on medications
    • Those drugs screw their emotions
    • Shows: they aren't willing to work through their problems the hard way
    • If it's a short thing like their father died and they need them for a couple of months then ... okay
31. Long-distance relationship (long term, indefinite)
    • If they aren't willing to move near you, or you don't want
    • If there's a plan for closing the gap, like if they temporarily got overseas for 6 months for a company, and then want to return to you
32. If they tell you: "I want to continue seeing other people."
    • = they aren't committing to you, aren't in love with you, are keeping their options open and don't want to be guilty doing it

 

It's really not too much to ask!

A lot of these flags are 100% deal-breakers.

They don't have to be flawless, but at the very least be open to them and willing to work on them and grow.

A: "Hey, honey I think you're really power hungry and it'll lead to the destruction of this relationship."

B: "Oh, shit I think you're right." … goes buying books and getting coaching.

B: "Oh, shut up."

 

What to do when some of these red flags are checked?

→ Cut that person out of your life. (The right option)

• You're life is too short to waste it on dysfunctional relationships you think won't work out.
• Nerve wracking, wastes energy
• Might lead to nasty things down the road (abuse, losing money, …)

 

Why would you even consider leaving yourself open to those nasty consequences?

• Deeper issues in YOU.
  • Insecurities
  • Low self-esteem (usually)
  • …

 

Biggest reason you don't flat out leave dysfunctional relationships:

Lacking options with the opposite sex

• You need more options to land a new guy or new girl
  • Otherwise you'll be clingy in any relationship

Meet more men or women
Commit to creating more options

• Take control of how many men and women you meet in your life
• The more you meet the more secure you'll feel

 

 

EXERCISE

• 4 sentence completion stems
• Generate ten answers to each one, twenty for the last.
• From the top of your mind (2min max), no analysis or filtering.
• Brings wisdom out of your subconscious mind.
• Mental dump

 

If I were totally honest, my partners red flags are _______ .

 

The biggest thing I fear about leaving my partner is _______ .

 

If I took 100% responsibility about my relationship, I would _______.

 

20 ways that I could create more sexual options are: ________

 

(Summary guy's comment: Do these stems for yourself some time too ;D)

 

• Reflect on all the answers
• Don't lie about what your partners weaknesses are.
• Your intuition knows if this relationship has a chance

 

The first step

• Talking to them
• Are they willing to work on those problems?
• If they aren't willing to change: cut them
• If they are: maybe you give them a chance

Edited August 14, 2021 by peqkno

[peqkno]

8 hours ago, FlyingLotus said:

210. [] How To Create Your Dream Career - The Ultimate Life Purpose Course

 

210. How To Create Your Dream Career - The Ultimate Life Purpose Course

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QtUxnmneK50)

 

“Your life is important. Honor it. Fight for your highest possibilities.“ — Nathaniel Branden

 

What are you waiting for?

Pursue something in life! Don‘t let life happen to you.

Self-Imposed victimhood.

 

Expand yourself continuously.

 

A weak career = Weak backbone = weak foundation

(affects everything)

• weak social life
• weak hobby life
• weak rest recreation
• weak health (physical & emotional)

 

What is your life about? Do you even know?

 

All this is in your favor. What are you doing with it?

Wake up! Stop limiting yourself!

Live up to your full potential!

 

“If you deliberately try to live below your potential, then you gonna doom yourself to a miserable life.” — Abraham Maslow

 

Contemplate your own death.

• Holocaust
• 9/11
• Trenches and beaches of Normandy
• Slavery
• The Plague
• Cancer Victims who are going to die in a week or month or tomorrow
• Car crash victims
• Plane crash victims

This puts your life into perspective.

You spend life distracting yourself from the fact that you do have very little of this life left and that you’re pissing it away.

 

Wake the fuck up! Your life is precious.

The limits that you feel are there in life; This is not the world limiting you; This is you limiting you.

 

The limits that are there are self-imposed limits.

They can be self-unimposed.

 

Finding your Life Purpose
Make your life about one thing:
Life Calling
Dream Career

 

How are you going to contribute to the world in the most meaningful way?

 

If you get this puzzle piece of life right, it’s going to be so rewarding!

A shame so few people figured it out.

 

Sweetest Highest Pleasures, Conquering Yourself and Conquering Life.

 

 

Life Purpose = Most important personal development change you can make. 2nd to enlightenment.

How to discover your top passion.

How to use it to build your business and dream life.

 

Seek out a life purpose.

Congruent. Life becomes beautiful; even when something goes wrong.

 

This is not a Magic Pill. You gotta work this course! (The Ultimate Life Purpose Course)

 

Basically, the course is Leo mind-fucking you into living your life purpose. He takes an emotional approach, not just theory.
Life purpose is the engine that drives your entire life.

→ The Ultimate Life Purpose Course

[peqkno]

8 hours ago, FlyingLotus said:

228. [] Mindfulness Meditation - A Complete Guide With Techniques & Examples

 

228. Mindfulness Meditation - A Complete Guide With Techniques & Examples

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wPUWdhHDKS4)

 

The fundamentals of setting up a mindfulness practice; the 20% of theory that's going to give you 80% of the results.

Mindfulness is one of the most important skills to develop yet we aren’t taught about it. It’s a very important tool.

Mindfulness is experiencing reality literally, exactly as it is.

Reality comes to you through your senses. [newer blog post: Sense Organs Are Imaginary] That’s all you have of reality, and it’s changing every second.

Most people live day-to-day in their fantasies, filtering out the raw information, thinking about the future or the past. You are caught up in a conceptual life, not grounded in what is literally there.

 

There are three important components:

1. Focus – ability to put awareness of selective sensations for a long period of time (a very rare skill these days)
2. Sensory clarity – how clear are you about the raw data coming in. Clear the lens of your mind
3. Equanimity – experience and emotion/phenomena and not react to it in an emotional way (to be stable and grounded, and not go into a reactive state)

 

All of these practiced simultaneously are mindfulness.

You start to see a whole new world when you practice mindfulness.

 

The Basics:

Every 10 second cycle: (Note, label, savor)

1. Locate an object and note that you are looking at it
2. Label (silently) it “see” – to register that you are seeing it
3. Take it in exactly as it is in the present moment for 5-7 seconds. (don’t judge it, just experience it)

 

The above is one mindfulness cycle. The modes are “see”, “hear”, and “feel”

For short sounds, hear it and savor whatever memory of it you have.

Take in the being of the phenomena without adding or taking away anything from it. Notice it how it is.

Distinction between outer and inner sensations. Your imagination or internal dialogue is an internal sensation. Inner feeling will be emotions, outer feeling will be an itch, touch, your stomach rumbling (even though it’s inside you). Smell and taste are outer feelings.

Savor the data without judging it. This is all that mindfulness is.

Take a timer and set it for 20 min. Every day sit down and start running these cycles. Let your focus go wherever it goes and do the cycles. Note, label, savor.

For a more advanced version. Limit the number of things you let your mind focus on e.g. just inner, just sights, just thoughts etc.

 

Some pointers:

- focus on one phenomenon at a time

- if a phenomenon is transient then just savor the memory of it or note that it’s gone and savor its absence.

- if the phenomenon morphs, just stay with it.

- you’re allowed to guess, don’t have to be 100% accurate with your labeling.

- may also notice that labeling itself is an inner hearing sensation – don’t label the labels themselves. Just keep it simple.

 

Do this practice every single day.

The hardest thing to do is to do it every day. Results will take months to years.

 

Benefits:

- enormous levels of awareness and consciousness – 1000 – 100,000 times more than regular people

- super focus ability

- emotional mastery

- reduction in suffering

- increased fulfillment in life

- behavior change becomes easier

- experiences of enlightenment (by focusing on the “I” label)

Edited August 14, 2021 by peqkno

[peqkno]

8 hours ago, FlyingLotus said:

58. [] Sensitivity - Why Personal Development Is Impossible For You Right Now

58. Sensitivity - Why Personal Development Is Impossible For You Right Now

(This one is an older video which came with a summary of the big ideas presented. It can be found here: https://www.actualized.org/articles/sensitivity)

Why you are incapable of really improving your life until you stop looking for ever-greater sources of stimulation.

An Important Lesson From Biohackers

• To become self-actualized you must develop a better sensitivity.
• What I learned from biohacking: a biohacker has to develop a keen sense of awareness of his feelings and moods.
• Two types of feedback: objective and subjective.
• Objective feedback is like an EEG machine that can graph out your brainwaves.
• Subjective feedback is what you feel in your body, what you’re able to be aware of.
• For example, if you’re taking lots of supplements, it helps to be sensitive enough to actually feel their effects.
• Can you notice the effects of taking Vitamin C or fish oil? Do you get more energy? Do you sleep better? Does your point pain improve? Do you become more flexible? Is your workout recovery better? Do you build muscle faster?
• Same applies to nootropics — take various supplements and drugs to enhance cognitive performance. Sometimes it’s hard to really tell what is happening when you take them.
• Greater sensitivity can be developed. In fact you should be developing it right now.
• You can’t really biohack effectively if you don’t develop keen sensitivity. Otherwise you have no criteria to judge against.
• The sensitively required for successful biohacking is also required for successful personal development.

 

From Biohacking To Self-Improvement

• Our sensitivity for life has been blown out by society, culture, and media.
• If you are playing around with psychology and tinkering around with various elements of your life, you have to become very sensitive to the effects on your feelings.
• Examples:
  • What is the effect of meditation on your life? Do you know? The effect can be very subtle.
  • Drugs: what is the effect of alcohol and recreational or prescription drugs on your life?
  • Thoughts: what is the effect of your thought patterns on your life?
  • Diet: what is the effect of having a high-sugar breakfast, for example?
  • Media: what is the effect of TV, videogames, internet, newspaper, etc. on your consciousness, on your mood, on your performance?
• For many of us, our palates have been so blown out that we can’t notice subtle positive changes to our lives like meditation.

 

Media Is Boiling Your Alive Like A Frog

• The effects of media are both very subtle and very powerful. This is a paradox. But not really. Perceived effect depends on your perceptive abilities.
• You are under-performing in life and don’t even recognize it. Negative friends, TV, internet, bad nutrition, lack of exercise, etc. are all adding up and robbing you of a lot of performance, all outside your awareness.
• Consider the old boiling-frog analogy: if you take a frog and set him into boiling hot water, he will jump out. But if you take that same frog and set him in lukewarm water and slowly crank up the heat, he will boil to death.
• Why does this happen? Because he fails to perceive subtle changes added up over time.
• You are frustrated and unsatisfied with your life because subtle influence have, over time, added up and drained you of your power.
• This effect is MUCH stronger than you admit to yourself.

 

Examples Of Insensitivity

• Example #1: after I cut out cable TV for several years, I became extremely sensitive to commercials. It’s like, Wow! You can hardly believe how toxic commercials are until you don’t watch them for a few years.
• But if you are a habitual TV-watcher, you won’t even believe me right now. You are thinking, “Commercials? What’s the big deal? Stop being a pussy.”
• Example #2: diet. If you’ve gone through the process of cleaning up your nutrition, you’ve have a very powerful ah-ha moment when you looked back at how you used to eat and said to yourself, “OMG, how could I have been be irresponsible? How was I even able to get up in the morning?”
• Example #3: sugar. After you ween yourself off sugar and restaurant foods, you notice very starkly just how sugar-laden all commercial food is.
• You need to become more sensitive because right now you are literally being boiled alive by culture, media, and society!

 

Winetasting And Blown Out Palates

• Why does this happen? Because your palate has been blown out.
• I use the word “palate” because it’s used in the wine-tasting world and it’s very appropriate here.
• I don’t even like wine, but when I took a wine-tasting course I was shocked by how sensitive professional wine-tasters are. They develop discernment for ridiculously nuanced aspects of wine.
• Yet me, I can hardly tell a Pinot Noir apart from a Cabernet.
• Why does this happen? Because my brain is literally no wired up to distinguish between the various tastes and smells of wine, and so I cannot perceive them. Kinda freaky!
• As a culture we want to be titillated and overwhelmed with bold flavor.
• Think about: blockbuster superhero movies, double bacon jalapeno cheeseburgers, atomic hotwings, horrific news headlines, controversial books, top-10 lists, ugly celebrity photos.
• The problem is, when you allow yourself to get blasted with so much stimulation, you lose sensitivity to life.
• Another example: cooking and Cholula. I got so accustomed to dousing all my meals with Cholula hotsauce that when I started to learn cooking, I couldn’t understand subtle favor combinations.
• If you hand someone a complex dish with delicate flavors and he douses it with a 1/2 bottle of Cholula, what’s the point?!
• That is what’s happening if you live a mainstream life: you are insensitive to the beautiful subtly and richness.

 

Why Your Personal Development Efforts Have Been Failing

• You can’t even appreciate the powerful effects of the personal development techniques that I could teach you, because you won’t feel their effects right away.
• If I put you on 2 weeks of affirmations, visualizations, journaling, and meditation, you would not continue the habit because you don’t even feel the positive effects — even though they ARE there.
• We would have to ween you off stimulation for several months for you to be able to really recognize the effects of the positive work that you’re doing.
• The reason personal development fails to work for many people is because they pick up one book and try a technique or two but they don’t have a developed enough palate to appreciate the results, and so they quit.
• This problem actually goes even deeper: you are simply missing out on the full range and beauty of reality. You are not experiencing the richness of life!
• Which would you rather do: watch the latest blockbuster movie in the comfort of your own home under a nice cozy blanket, with your spouse cuddly near you, with a big oily, salty bowl of popcorn and a glass of cold Coke, or mediate quietly alone in an empty room? It’s a no-brainer! Who would ever want to meditate?
• Meditation is a subtle pleasure. It cannot compete directly with the thrill of sex or entertainment.

 

The Low Consciousness Mindset

• In his brilliant book, Mastery, George Leonard builds a strong case for how culture promotes an anti-mastery mindset. Our culture tells us to expect endless climax.
• But reality is mostly mundane. If you go into things expecting your mind to be blown, you are limiting yourself so much.
• Most people don’t have a solid career because they can’t handle the mundane work required to develop one.
• What zone of existence are you living in? Low consciousness or high consciousness?
• Low consciousness means you’re after: entertainment, a promotion, validation from others, sex, money, tasty food.
• High consciousness means you’re after: truth, beauty, excellence, justice, order, tranquility.
• You won’t have a fulfilling, rewarding life if you’re stuck pursuing low consciousness values.

 

Getting Back To The Joy Of Being A Kid Again

• There is a natural joy that comes from simply being in reality and taking it for what it is. A tree, a car, the sun in the sky, the stars, looking into a grocery store clerk’s face. Those are beautiful things that you no long appreciate.
• As a child you felt happy because you were sensitive to everything. You took in the beauty of reality.
• You can never get enough stimulation. Real, lasting enjoyment only comes from subtle appreciation.
• You need to STOP looking to be spoon-fed the best of the best. Stop seeking maximum comfort and stimulation. If you don’t, you will become a lazy slug.
• You are behaving just like a heroin junkie! You need hit after hit after hit, and it’s destroying your life.

 

How To Become More Sensitive

• You CANNOT do effective personal development from a low consciousness state.
• From now on, start becoming very sensitive about the effects of even very small actions/behaviors on your life.
• For example, if you hit the snooze button on your alarm 3 times and wake up 15 minutes late, notice how this affects your mood, your performance at work, your diet, etc.
• Start to notice how the simple actions you take (or fail to take) affect your life.
• How did that lunch affect your whole life? How did the negative thoughts you had in the shower affect your whole life?
• The best way to become more sensitive is by eliminating the worst sources of over-stimulation.
• Your homework: sit down right now and identify the top 3 worst sources of over-stimulation in your life. Write them down. Now commit to eliminating them for 30 days.
• And most importantly… as you do this, stay very alert to how your consciousness improves.
• What I want you to take away is NOT that you should get rid of bad habits. No! This is a deeper issue! Adopt a new philosophy.
• Your new philosophy is that you pursue high consciousness over low consciousness.
• Bottom Line: Your palate for life has been blown out by culture and addictive behaviors. Become more sensitive to the subtle richness of life.

 

Bottom Line: Your palate for life has been blown out by culture and addictive behaviors. Become more sensitive to the subtle richness of life.

[FlyingLotus]

@peqkno Great job!!!

Edited October 26 by FlyingLotus

[peqkno]

On 8/14/2021 at 4:18 AM, FlyingLotus said:

85. [] Overcoming Adversity - How To Handle The Most Horrific Life Challenges Ever

85. Overcoming Adversity - How To Handle The Most Horrific Life Challenges Ever

The key insight and affirmation that you need for coping with life’s worst difficulties.

(https://youtu.be/NldvgPxMFVw)

Big Ideas

 

The Key Affirmation You Need

• Affirmation: “I can handle any situation, any challenge life throws at me.”
• Imagine how you would feel and behave if you really believed that!
• Say it to yourself for 5 minutes straight, every day, for 60 days and you will start to believe it.
• Whatever you say to your mind for long enough becomes true. Crazy, but that’s how your mind works.

 

Understand Why It’s True

• You want to get a sense for why this is true. And here are the key reasons:
• #1) In your own life, you’ve survived and handled every challenge you had so far. This is true by definition of you being alive right now. Don’t discount the power of this!
• #2) No, you aren’t a special snowflake. You are something even better: you ARE a naturally programmed survival-machine.

 

Survival Is In Your Genes

• It’s not even that you are so great. It’s in your genes to be a survivor. Think about this.
• Your body and your psychology is designed to cope with the most horrible situations you can possibly imagine.
• You will survive no matter what. You don’t even have a choice in the matter.
• Consider where you evolved from. Consider the challenges your ancestors faced and realize that fact that you are a born, natural survivor.
• Here is what your ancestors survived: brutal winters, floods, famine, scorching droughts, tribal warfare, rape, pillage, exile, uncurable disease, poverty, brutal ignorance and total lack of knowledge, oppressive government, brutal racial discrimination, torture, slavery, arbitrary imprisonment, etc.
• Your problems today are pathetic compared to the REAL problems your ancestors faced 100,000 years ago. So stop whining.
• You are waaaaay more resilient than you give yourself credit for.

 

Your Challenges Aren’t As Big As You Think

• Notice that your challenges are not as big as you make them out to be.
• As a litmus test, how does your current challenge compare to having your family raped and murdered by a neighboring tribe and you becoming a slave? I thought so.
• What is your biggest screw-up from 10 years ago? Do you even care about it today?
• What are you most proud of about yourself? Notice how that came out of one of your greatest hardships.
• Humans As Domesticated Animals
• You have lost touch with your own natural resilience because you have been domesticated by society. We are all domesticated by society.
• Humans have domesticated cats, dogs, and cattle, but the greatest thing we’ve domesticated is ourselves.
• You are a self-domesticated animal, as Don Miguel Ruiz brilliantly points out in The Four Agreements.

 

You Are Designed To Survive

• You are designed to survive ANYTHING!: rape, death in the family, amputation, war, torture, beating, severe humiliation, abandonment, cheating, etc.
• You have no option but to survive. The only two options are: die or survive.
• Stop behaving like your life is full of life-or-death challenges! It’s not! You are catastrophizing. Be more aware of this so you’re not as frantic all the time.

 

The Pit of Despair

• Don’t get me wrong, the pit of despair FEELS very real. When you’re totally down, the future looks horrible. It really does feel like you will never recover.
• And that is exactly why I created this affirmation for myself. I never want to feel like there is anything in life I cannot handle, not matter how bad.
• The fact is that we CAN handle it all, it’s just that we forget and get swept up in the emotions.
• We also get complacent about how good we really have it compared to 3rd world countries or our ancestors.
• I am doing 60-days of this affirmation to imprint into my mind, once-and-for-all, that things are never as bad as they seem and that I can handle whatever may come.

 

Two Key Realizations If You Are Really Suffering

• If you’re going through a very hard time in your life right now, understand these 2 things:
• You will grow from this experience and come out much stronger. This is a REAL silver-lining, not New Age bullshit.
• You are short-selling yourself right now. You are much, much more resilient than you give yourself credit for. You’re disconnected from the truth.

 

Read Viktor Frankl

• If you really want to internalize this idea, read Viktor Frankl’s Man’s Search for Meaning. His description of surviving holocaust concentration camps will show you how resilient human beings are. It will also put your puny problems into perspective.
• Realize this: it doesn’t take development of a special character to survive. You are a survivor now, naturally!

 

Bottom Line: Realize that you are a natural-born survivor. Think about how this is true and affirm it to yourself for 60 days straight.

[peqkno]

On 8/14/2021 at 4:30 AM, FlyingLotus said:

425. [] Content vs Structure - Going Meta Is A Super-power

(Summary-Guy's aside: I love this episode, powerful. My notes are messy as of now, here's the notes from only the last 14 minutes. Leo recommended re-listening to this episode quite some times every now and then to grasp more and more of the significance of the Content vs Structure distinction. Also see episode "What It Means To Go Meta")

425. Summary: Content vs Structure - Going Meta Is A Super-power

(https://youtu.be/eq3htbsa5rk)

Many examples of the Structure vs Content distinction; and more

...

(last 14 minutes)

The chief problem we have is in how we perceive and frame our problems.

• Root solutions require structural understanding and structural change.
  • Otherwise you just shovel around content

 

The most important structures of the mind you should be studying:

Talked a lot about them in the Understanding Self-Deception Series

• Projection
  • The Trap Of Projection
• Denial
• Ideology
  • How Ideology Works
• Clinging to ideas and beliefs
  • Mechanics Of Belief
• Confirmation bias
• Cherry-picking
  • (Summary-Guy's note: Will I ever know what Cherry Picking is? Won't I be cherry-picking to form my notion of cherry-picking? )
• Paradigms
  • How Paradigms Work
• Question Begging
• Self-bias
  • Self-Bias - Why All Worldviews Are So Skewed
• Justification
  • ego's modus operandi: behaves selfishly and then hides evidence of it's own selfishness (from Leo's review of "Mist..."; Ctrl+F to search the booklist for "Mist")
• Moralization
  • A Rant Against Morality
  • How to Stop Moralizing
• Group-Think
• Conformity
• Cult Psychology
  • Cult Psychology - How Cults Work - Part 1
  • Cult Psychology - Part 2 - The Big Picture
• Judgment
  • Judgment - How You Ruin Your Own Happiness
  • How To Stop Judging Yourself
• Demonization
  • Stop Demonizing People! - Why You Are Wrong For Calling Terrorists Evil
• The Ego
  • Huge topic
• Emotions
  • Huge topic
• Meaning making
  • 9 Levels of Increasing Embrace in Ego Development; 9 Stages of Ego Development Series
  • Understanding Meaning, Purpose and Value
• Storytelling
• The various roles that you play
  • Dropping The Roles You Play

 

Problems due to lack of structural awareness

• racism
• slavery
• corruption
• evil
• nationalism
• ethnic cleansing
• religious dogma
• intolerance
• violence
• indoctrination of children
• war
• drug war
• opioid epidemic (in America)
• scientific close-mindedness
• denial of the paranormal
• false equivalency between the political left and right
• capitalism run amok
• money in politics
• demonization of socialism and socialist economics
• labor exploitation
• income inequality

 

key insight: those problems are not at the level of content

• many politicians try to solve them at the level of content
• voters and politicians see them at the level of content not structure (most politicians aren’t yellow systemic thinkers and don’t know how to go meta and get stuck on content)
• the problem is not just structural in the sense that government structure needs to change
• the deeper structural problem is in how we perceive the problem
  • our epistemology and metaphysics are the true structural problems

 

Our Problem Is A Meta Problem

• the problems are existential and metaphysical tied in with your identity, mind, psyche, worldview and what you think reality is.
• root solutions require structural understanding
• problems come from what you think reality is and what you think you are

 

[peqkno]

On 8/14/2021 at 4:18 AM, FlyingLotus said:

59. [] How To Never Quit - The Key To Reframing The Toughtest Obstacles

59. Summary: How To Never Quit - The Key To Reframing The Toughtest Obstacles

(https://youtu.be/awCmTiN9S_U)

A radical, powerful way of looking at obstacles so that you never fall off track with your important goals ever again.

 

Big Ideas

The Defining Moment

• The defining moment in any endeavor or project that you undertake is the point when you feel like all is lost and you will give up.
• The project either becomes too stressful, too challenging, or too mundane.
• Your mind is a master at coming up with excuses for why to quit.
• But this is exactly the moment you should be excited about, because this is what separates the winners from the losers!
• You have to realize that that moment when you feel like quitting is critical to your success.

Winners vs Losers

• Really successful people, world-class performers, are the ones who lean into the defining moments. They know that obstacles are directly create their success.
• Mediocre, average people are the ones who quit because they trick themselves into believing that an obstacle is a sign of serious trouble.
• To achieve anything big in life you’re going to have to learn how to reframe obstacles into opportunities.
• Successful people do this naturally. They realize that obstacles grow them, toughen them up, and separate them from the competition.
• The reason most people are mediocre is because they only want to do the things that are easy and comfortable.
• The point where most people give up is the point where you have to keep going!

Your Brain Is A Thermostat

• Your brain will always try to keep you in homeostasis, even when you’re trying to make a positive change in yourself.
• Most people are always eager at the beginning of an endeavor, that’s easy. What difficult is pushing through when you feel like giving up.
• Most people don’t realize that their brains will naturally send them signals to quit once they push their comfort zone a little bit.
• Your brain works like a thermostat, locking you into whatever mode of performance that you’ve recently been at.
• Changing the thermostat takes extraordinary effort.
• Any time you try to change your thermostat, you will feel resistance and discomfort.

Value = What’s Rare

• Realize that the reason you chose to pursue that big goal of yours in the first place is because it’s valuable, rare, and difficult to achieve.
• It must be this way. If your goal was insignificant, commonplace, or easy to achieve, you would either already have it or you wouldn’t want it.
• For example, if you’re trying to become a doctor, the reason a doctor is so respected and well-paid is because it takes a lot of hard work to become one.
• For example, if you’re trying to start a business in a new market, the reason that market is lucrative and open is because it takes a lot of hard work to exploit it.
• Consider the vast disparity in effort required to become a doctor vs flipping burgers at McDonald’s.

Everyone’s In The Same Boat

• The next time you’re feeling discouraged about your big endeavor, tell yourself to get excited. Because this obstacle will set you apart from everyone else!
• Knowing that most people are quitters, you can get doubly-excited about every obstacle because you know it will set you apart.
• Every extra mile that you run in a marathon race is an extra mile that someone else will quit.
• You have to keep reminding yourself that every obstacle you face, others will face.
• This holds true for obstacles that don’t seem like obstacles: like the boredom you might be facing in your career right now.
• Don’t get discouraged! Everyone will experience lulls in their career. That’s just part of the game.
• Whether your journey is smooth or rocky doesn’t matter. Ultimately all that matters is that you stay on the journey until the very end.

Seth Godin’s Dip

• Seth Godin talks about this topic in his brilliant little book, The Dip.
• Godin calls The Dip that moment when you are ready to throw in the towel.
• The key is to ask yourself in that moment whether the endeavor you’re about to quit has heart and long-term potential. If it does, you MUST NOT quit!
• The only endeavors you’re allowed to quit are the ones that have no long-term potential or conflict with your higher values.
• If you know the endeavor you’re working on is meaningful, then you just have to reframe every major obstacle as getting you one step closer.
• Not only is the dip weeding out the competition, it’s also making your stronger, smarter, and more resilient.
• Just the mere fact that you toughed it out past a major obstacle gives you incredible growth and personal power.
• If you want to become world-class at anything, the only way is by going through obstacle after obstacle as your competitions gets weeded out.
• If you want to be a well-known actor, a musician, a politician, or a successful entrepreneur, you will have to go through a gauntlet to filter you out from the crowd.
• The best filter of winners vs loser is emotional labor. Winners are always willing to endure emotional hardship to reach their goals. Loser never are.
• Sure, everyone would like to be an actor, an entrepreneur, or an athlete, but are they willing to pay the cost?
• There are millions of people that want things for free or at low cost. There a many who want things at medium cost and even high cost. But very few want something at great cost.
• The ultimate competitive advantage is being willing to pay extraordinary cost to get what you want.

Purpose & Vision

• Having a life purpose is so important. It will help you stay on track and tell yourself that the hard work is worth it.
• What you need to persevere past all the challenges is true vision: a crystal-clear picture of your dream.
• If you don’t have a vision right now, or your vision is lacking, don’t despair. Vision can be deliberately created.
• From now on, start seeing every obstacle in your way as a huge opportunity for you to advance and set yourself apart.
• The next time something catastrophic happens with your endeavor, tell yourself that you just have to keep going.

Bottom Line: Don’t let obstacles discourage you. Start reframing every obstacle as a big opportunity to set yourself apart.

[peqkno]

On 8/15/2021 at 0:46 AM, FlyingLotus said:

Great job ? !!!

Of course! Gotta keep these summaries clean of mentions of Chris E - Haha. Great job to you too.

Let's go: we all could have all of the released videos summarized in a year or less!
Really humbling to see the entire huge list of hour long videos Leo released until now (and some had to even be re-shot!)

Edited August 17, 2021 by peqkno
censored that chris' name! :p

[peqkno]

On 8/14/2021 at 4:18 AM, FlyingLotus said:

108. [] Dream Life - What It Takes To Create An Extraordinary Life

108. Dream Life - What It Takes To Create An Extraordinary Life

(https://youtu.be/W1-4UsQVgkM)

The deep challenge of building an extraordinary life, and what you’ll have to do to really make it happen.

 

Big Ideas

The Problem of Life

• The question is: how do you actually create that dream life?
• What is the dream life? You know what it is. It’s that highest ambition you had for yourself before life beat it out of you.
• Everyone tries to live big at some point, but almost no one succeeds. Why?
• I remember hearing an old story that will help us understand what’s going on.

Story of the Old Lady and the Wolf

• A long time ago there was a village just outside the woods.
• In this village lived a simple old lady.
• One night the old lady goes out into the woods to run a chore.
• As she wanders through the woods, suddenly, a giant blood-thirsty wolf jump out in front of her.
• The wolf’s jaws are wide open and his fangs are glaring. The wolf is just about to maul her.
• Having nothing in her hands to fend off the wolf, the old lady is absolutely terrified. Even a grown man couldn’t handle this wolf alone.
• So what does she do? The only thing she can: she reaches out and grabs the wolf hard by the tongue.
• She pulls out the wolf’s tongue past his teeth and starts walking towards the village.
• When she finally gets back to the village with the wolf, one of the men clubs him to death over the head.
• Old Lady: 1, Wolf: 0

Moral of the Story

• So what does this story tell us?
• Simple: you either go all-in, or you’re fucked!
• And what does this have to do with the problem of creating a dream life?
• Simply: You are the old lady! And the harshness of life is that wolf. You either go all-in and face your fears, or you are dead.
• The only reason you’re not living your dream life is because you’re too afraid. You keep telling yourself that life is dangerous and that you must be cautious.
• Caution is okay is some cases, but not when you have a wolf in your face about to maul you.
• Think about it, what would have happened if that old lady hesitantly reached out for the wolf’s mouth?
• And what would have happened if that old lady let up for even a second while she was dragging him back to the village?
• Right! He would have bitten off her hand!

Going Beyond Tricks and Techniques

• Many of my videos give you small tips and tricks that you can use to patch up some part of your life.
• I get it, you want a quick fix that will make everything all better and comfy.
• I love giving you little techniques, but that’s not ultimately what I’m here to do.
• I want to show you how to create a transformational, extraordinary life, and I’m kidding about that.
• To do this, I need you to buy into the idea that you’re going to live your life BIG!
• This goes waaaaay beyond techniques.
• If you’re going to half-ass your life, you will get mauled, and it will be painful.
• You MUST be all-in. You MUST go full-out.

Looking For A Quick-Fix

• Stop looking for the quick-fix. Stop looking for the one secret technique.
• When you do that, you’re not building an extraordinary life, you’re just maintaining mediocrity.
• Sometimes I get criticism in my Youtube comments about some of my suggestions being too ambitious, too idealistic. The criticism is: “But this won’t work in the real world!”
• All of my suggestions work in the real world! But many of them won’t work if you half-ass it.
• You need to be committed to taking massive action and going above and beyond.
• Even though you might have landed on one of my videos hoping for a quick-fix, you’ve got to move past that idea and start getting on board with the big vision.

Idealism Is Underrated

• Remember back to a time when you were certain your life would be BIG.
• Perhaps it was back in school, or college, or even just a few years ago.
• But then what happened? Yeah, everyday life overwhelmed you. Somehow things slipped and slipped and slipped until you didn’t even bother looking back.
• But I’m here to tell you that you’ve lost sight of the big picture and it’s time to get back on the horse.
• Your problem is not that you’re thinking too big, it’s that you are thinking too small!
• The reason you need all these little patches to maintain your crappy little life is because you’ve been thinking too small for too long, and whatever you think, you get.
• When you start to think big, many of your petty problems will naturally dissolve.
• The common objection is: “But that’s too idealistic, unrealistic!”
• It’s not unrealistic if you commit to growing yourself. The only reason you think it’s unrealistic is because you are a small person.
• What you’re not facing up to is the courage that you lack to live big. But this can be fixed if you commit.
• Being idealistic is good. Being idealistic is also hard. Being idealistic requires fearlessness.

It Won’t Be Easy

• If I could wish for you to have one personal characteristic that would guarantee your success, it would fearlessness.
• Stop looking for easy. What I’m talking about is going be to challenging. But it’s also going to be incredibly rewarding.
• You will have times when you will want to quit. You will have times when you will want to cry yourself to sleep in a fetal position on your couch.
• But that’s okay, because this is not what’s really sad. This is a noble way of life.
• What’s really sad is living the crappy little life that you are living right now.
• Working your ass off for something big isn’t sad, that’s the glory of life. And it’s also the only way you will be happy.

The Dangerous World

• My ideas and strategies can seem like wishful thinking, but everything I share with you is extremely practical and field-tested.
• The real problem is that you’ve been conditioned into pessimism by your parents, society, media, friends, and your own past failures.
• Living a big life in modern society is unnatural.
• A big life is unnatural and rare simply because it’s much easier and more comfortable to be mediocre. And besides, all your friends are doing it.
• If you don’t stay conscious, if you aren’t deliberate, if you don’t set very clear objectives, then you will just roll with the flow and become mediocre.

Understanding The Real Risk

• One of the worst assumptions that we pick up when growing up is that life is dangerous.
• When you believe that, you start to be cautious and timid. You stop making bold decisions and start straddling fences.
• If the world is dangerous, then you start following the herd. You stop questioning your religion, your friends, your culture, your government, your parents.
• This assumption runs so deep that it keeps you from reaching out and grabbing that wolf by the tongue.
• Imagine how you would live your life if you were fully conscious of that fact that your life will be over in the snap of a finger.
• 1/3rd, 1/2, 2/3rds of your life are already over. All you’ve got left is about 20-50 years, at the most.
• Right now, somewhere in your life you are telling yourself that you are more safe by holding back and being conservative rather than going all-in.
• If you go all-in, you will be scared. And you don’t like to feel scared, you like to feel comfy.
• But actually, the greatest risk isn’t going all-in, it’s not committing to anything.
• If you don’t commit, your life trajectory is very easy to predict: you will peter out like a dud firework that never bursts.
• Where is the bang, the spark, the flash in your life?
• I know that you are holding yourself back because even after all the years of hard work that I’ve done on myself, I still hold myself back.

Enough Is Enough

• I don’t know about you, but I want to live a big life.
• I’m sick and tired of hold myself back. I want to give my all, and if it doesn’t work, so what? At least I will die in peace.
• How miserable will I be on my deathbed if I give life a half-assed attempt?
• Here’s the thing. You are either going to have one of two types of death: an instant death or a slow, drawn out death.
• If you are living a mediocre life, you better hope for instant death in a car or plane crash, so you don’t have time to reflect on your weak decisions.
• But chances are you will have a slow death, where you see yourself slowly age and decay into listlessness. Oh, man, is that going to be painful for you.
• As you slowly decay, you will regret so deeply that you didn’t reach out and grab that wolf by the tongue.
• You’re going to wonder, “Why was I so afraid? What’s so bad that would have happened?”
• And at this ripe old age you’re going to be wise enough to see that had you just been a little more fearless, you would have accomplished something amazing.

The Real Danger

• The real danger of life is not that you will get injured, or your family will be threatened, or someone robs you, but that you hear my message and take no action.
• Is massive pain and regret what you want in your life?
• Now is the time to ask yourself what you want out of your life. If not now, then when?
• Are you going to commit to transforming your life and doing whatever it takes?
• I can guarantee you that it will take everything you’ve got right now, and much much more.
• This won’t be easy, but it will be rewarding.
• If you’re not willing to commit to self-actualize, to share your greatest gifts, to live to your full potential, then you are already dead.

Bottom Line: Commit to doing whatever it takes to build an extraordinary life. Grab the wolf by the tongue. Go all-in!

[FlyingLotus]

On 8/17/2021 at 9:37 AM, peqkno said:

Of course! Gotta keep these summaries clean of mentions of Chris E

I had a feeling you were #TeamIronMan !  

This is Absolute Goodness ...

 

Edited October 26 by FlyingLotus

[FlyingLotus]

(Juan Cruz Giusto & TimStr wrote summaries for this episode.  I combined them and added more stuff from the episode.)

251.  Summary: A Three Step Formula To Be Ruthlessly Effective At Anything

   -This three step formula can make you world class at anything you commit yourself to (business, school, music, art, sports, meditation, relationships, sexuality, and so forth.)

Find one super effective tactic and exploit it!

    That’s it!

1) Find and Set an Intention

   Set a deliberate, clear intention for what you want to be ruthlessly effective at.  Select your domain.  Be specific.  What do you want exactly?  Why do you want it?  Make sure your goal is important to you.  (ep: Set S.M.A.R.T. goals [14 mins])

• “I’m gonna be ruthlessly effective at ___________.  I'm really serious about this.  This is my mission!  This is what I've set out to do!!”

2) Find a High-Yield Technique

   A high-yield technique is one that’s been proven to work by generating tangible results for you.  Ideally it should yield a disproportionate amount of tangible results.  This step does much of the heavy lifting in this formula.

• eg: Cutting 300 calories a day to lose weight is one tactic, but cutting 300 calories from sugar creates disproportionate results.
• Pareto’s principle.

 

“But Leo, how do I find one of these high yield techniques?”

   Fortunately, you don't have to invent any brilliant, genius techniques.  Keep your intention clear, strong and at the forefront of your mind.  Eventually various techniques will naturally cross your path, some through research, some through trial and error, some through sheer luck.

    Do your research, talk to people.  Collect different techniques and ideas.  Sample them and see which tactic jumps out at you.  You just have to stay vigilant, so when a high-yield technique comes your way you’ll recognize it and remember it.

eg: Leo discovered this formula while studying enlightenment.   He was researching a ton of meditation and self-inquiry techniques, reading lots of books, going to workshops and asking people questions. 

      He read about one particular technique that worked really well.  He sat down, tried it, and his mind just locked in on it.  He could see it was a high yield technique just by doing it for an hour.

eg: Corn farming tactics.  You could try buying a new plot of land.  You could try a new strain of corn that grows bigger?  You could change the fertilizer for your corn?  Or water your plants on a different schedule?  Get a new sprinkler system?  Hire a corn specialist to help you?  Trade in your last cow for some magic beans? 

   Once you’ve decided on a high-yield technique, convert it into a daily habit.

3) Make It a Habit

   Making the high-yield technique a habit creates a multiplicative effect.  Practicing everyday will make exponential growth happen over months and years.

   You can practice a technique for 30 to 60 mins a day.  However, if you can only do 5 to 10 minutes a day that could be enough, because that practice will accumulate over time (depending on what you’re trying to master.)

Planning Out Your Daily Habit

• Decide exactly when in your day you're going to do it.
• How it's going to happen.
• Make a 100% commitment, no exceptions, no excuses.
• Recognize the huge pay off you’ll get by staying consistent and carrying this through, everyday, over months and years.

 

Tips on High-Yield Techniques

            -You have to sample a bunch of techniques to get an intuitive feel for what clicks.

            -Magic pills don't exist.  Most people expect to find one technique that will solve all their problems very quickly.  If such a tactic existed, you’d already know about it.

            -High yield techniques give you incremental increases, but are still extremely powerful when multiplied by time.  High yield means it's relatively high yield. In absolute terms it might only give you, say, a 1% increase in your sales or sense of humour.  But that 1% multiplied over a year, or several years, adds up to a lot.

            -High yield techniques are often deceptively simple.  They're so simple they get dismissed and overlooked!  

• Professional boxers often hold dumbbells while practicing their punches.
• Magnus Carlson practiced chess on computer, allowing him to play way more practice matches than Grandmasters in previous generations.
• Oprah started public speaking at the age of 3 by being the cute kid who preached in church.
• John Wooden, Hall of Fame basketball coach, would spend the first practice teaching future NBA superstars how to put on their socks.  He had to do this because players would often hurt their feet because of improper sock placement!

-Most people come across many high-yield techniques, but they don’t understand the significance of what they've found.  They also don't know how to follow through with this three step formula.  They don't take it seriously and they wonder why their life is lacklustre.

 

Examples of Applying This Formula

Developing a Good Sense of Humour

            1) Set the Intention:  “I’m going to be great at making people laugh.”

            2) Find a High-Yield Technique:  Leo’s episode “How To Be Funny” has a visualization technique in it that will make you funnier.   

                Also, there are lots of great books on joke writing.  The Comedy Bible by Judy Carter is great.  Same with The Comic Toolbox by John Vorhaus.

            3) Make it a Habit: Commit to doing the visualization in Leo’s video everyday,  no excuses.

                Or, commit to carrying a notebook that you collect ideas in.  Then, at the end of the day, read through the notebook and write jokes for 30 minutes.

 

Business

            1) Set the Intention:  “I’m going to be great at marketing my business.”

            2) Find a High-Yield Technique:  Let's say your research leads you to revamping your newsletter.

            3) Make it a Habit:  Now, every single day, 100% commitment with no excuses.  First thing in the morning, you spend 60 minutes writing copy for your newsletter.  Then you add that to your autoresponder and see how people react to it.  Does it increase sales?  Do you need to adjust things to make it more appealing?  Do that every single day, for the next six months and then watch what happens to your sales.

• eg: Entrepreneur Ramit Sethi did some market research for piano teachers.  He discovered that sales could be increased by marketing to Asian and Jewish moms who thought piano lessons would help their kids get into Harvard.

 

Romantic Relationships

            1) Set the Intention:  “I want a more loving relationship with my partner.”

            2) Find a High-Yield Technique:  After researching books and videos, let’s say you’ve decided that, everyday, you’ll find three things you appreciate about your partner and tell it to her.

            3) Make it a Habit:  Commit 100%, everyday.  No excuses.  Plan when and where you’ll do it.  During your lunch break?  In the afternoon or evening?  What will you say?

                Figure out if you have any reservations about expressing your appreciation and why.  Do you need to improve your communication skills?

                Plan out the logistics, then do it.  You’ll see big results if you multiply that out by three, six or twelve months.

 

Studying for School

            1) Set the Intention: “I want to make the honor roll and get into medical school.”

            2) Find a High-Yield Technique:  A good one is to read your textbook every day and take notes on what you've read (especially before lecture).  It’s super simple, but if you do that everyday you're going to become a rock star student.

            Being effective at school is actually pretty simple.  There are many, many techniques:

• Developing a super powered memory and becoming a super-learner.  Jim Kwik’s book “Limitless” is great.  Same with Harry Lorayne’s books.
• Teaching what you’ve learned to someone else.  That forces you to understand the material and will also uncover gaps in your knowledge.

            3) Make it a Habit:  Commit to your new habit, no excuses, everyday, until you crush final exams and become a doctor.

 

Increasing Confidence

            1) Set the Intention: “I want to radiate confidence and presence.”

            2) Find a High-Yield Technique:  Let’s say you’ve done some research, and you want to get good at holding strong eye contact with people.

                You try it out and notice, “when I actually hold eye contact with the waitress, I feel more confident.”  That tells you this technique is actually producing some results.

            3) Make it a Habit:  Commit to doing it everyday, with every interaction (cashiers, servers, co-workers, friends, family, etc.)

                Over three, six, twelve months, you’ll see how far you’ve developed the habit and ease of holding strong eye contact and being confident.

 

Losing Weight and Becoming Healthier

            1) Set the Intention:  “I’m going to nourish my body and optimize my health.”

            2) Find a High-Yield Technique:  Having Leo’s “Actualized Soup” for lunch everyday.  Replacing ⅓ of my meals with veggie soup, basically.

            3) Make it a Habit:  I’ll cook the soup on Sunday while listening to some podcasts.  I’ll divide the soup into seven glass containers for the week.  If I’m having a super busy week, I’ll make a “lazy” version of the soup that’s less tasty, but just as nutritious.

            (This actually helps you lose weight by the way.  You can make a decadent soup for maximum taste, or a lazy version if you're busy.  Just buy frozen stir-fry veggies, chop them up, buy pre-made organic broth, toss it all together with spices, salt, meat, boil until veggies are cooked, and you have lazy veggie soup for the week!  Easy and nutritious!)

 

Deliberate Practice

    This formula works because it leverages deliberate practice.  Regular practice tends to be mindless repetition.  Deliberate practice requires focused attention and is conducted with the specific goal of improving performance.

    With deliberate practice, you break the overall process down into parts, identify your weaknesses, test new strategies for each section, and then integrate your learning into the overall process.  Deliberate practice is integral to attaining world-class mastery in any field.  Every world-class performer does this.

• In a study of figure skaters, medium level performers spent more time practicing moves they were already good at.  Top performers spent more time mastering unfamiliar, difficult moves and falling on their ass.
• Chris Rock practices jokes away from his usual fans, like in front of retirees in Florida.  He’ll also read his jokes without inflection, to see if audiences respond to the content of his writing, and not just his well honed comedic charisma.
• Watch Eminem challenge himself by rhyming with orange.

 

-Actualized.org presents a lot of high-yield techniques.  So, you can’t use the excuse that you’re lacking high yield techniques.

• Master the Inner Game of Money
• Stop Caring What People Think of You
• Clean Up Your Meanings and Mental Filters
• Clean Up How You Interpret Reality
• Make People Laugh
• Master Your Emotions
• Go From Victim to Victor
• Have a Great Relationship
• Accept Yourself
• Realize Who’s Actually God
• How to Not Be Lonely When You’re Alone
• Stop Being an Asshole
• Forgive Assholes
• Turn Your GF into a Water Pistol

   -The best techniques are oftentimes very innocent looking.  Profound, impactful techniques can look so darn simple that you’d never expect them to yield a $10 million business, or show you enlightenment, or help you create an amazing marriage, etc.

   -Success often comes from very simple habits, done over and over again, consistently, with deliberate intention and 100 percent commitment.

   -So, recognize the significance of this formula and high yield techniques.  Start to see how big of an impact this could have on the quality of your life, over five, ten, twenty years.  It’s the difference between a crappy life, a mediocre life and an absolutely extraordinary life that you love and that other people couldn't even dream of.

 

-Warning!!  The world is hell-bent on distracting you and knocking you off the path.  We live in a distraction oriented culture.  Focus is required at every step of the way.

1) Set and keep your intention.

     Notice that you have to both set and keep your intention.  That means you don't just set your intention once and forget about it.  It means that every single day you set and recommit to your intention.

• “I want to be great at cultivating deep, loving relationships.”
• “I want to have a sharp memory and be a super-learner.”
• “I want to get into law school and become a human rights attorney for the United Nations.”

     Check out Leo’s episode on S.M.A.R.T. goals.  (Specific.  Measurable.  Attainable.  Realistic.  Time Sensitive.)  Another one on Setting Powerful Goals

2) Remember that high yield techniques are out there.

     Just stay open and vigilant to new techniques that cross your path.

3) Turn it into a habit.

     Plan out the habit, create it and follow through on that habit, every single day, without fail.

     That will require tons of focus, because you're going to get distracted by video games, Netflix marathons, good food, good relationships, bad relationships, work, family, health concerns, life crises, the Actualized.org forum, etc.

-So maintain your focus.  Keep your intention.  Write it on your bathroom mirror.  Stay grounded in your vision, and trust that if you apply all this, you're going to get amazing results.

Edited August 23, 2021 by FlyingLotus

[asifarahim]

@FlyingLotus thanku for your good work

[FlyingLotus]

     (This is a really good video about using your life purpose to maximize goodness in the world.)

Summary of Blog Video: Extra Insights About Good Intentions

     -Some people have misunderstood the episode: “Everyone Acts From Good Intentions”

“But Leo, aren’t 'good' intentions pretty shallow compared to destructive consequences…?   Are you saying that destruction is actually ‘good’ as long as you have good intentions?  That evil people rationalizing their evil as good is the same as actually being good?”

     -What Leo says in this episode is pretty radical.  He’s not saying that evil people use 'goodness' to justify evil.  He’s saying that…

       Everything is an incarnation of Absolute Goodness.  It’s just an extremely biased, unholistic, twisted, finite, selfish form of goodness.  God acts through everyone and everything.  All people are literally good!!  Even when your mind is rationalizing destruction and murder, it’s actually good.  Actual Good, not just evil trying to rationalize evil as good.  Hate and evil are just twisted forms of love, because...

       Absolute Good is all encompassing.  It embraces everything.  Finite good is not like Absolute Good.  People define “good” based on their level of consciousness.  So, relative bad exists alongside Absolute Good, but relative bad (and relative good) are still finite, selfish points of view.

 

“But Leo, how can something like caring about the planet be selfish?”

     -Well, what about the trillions of other planets in the galaxy?  You don’t seem to care about them?  (You’re also probably overestimating how much you really care about the planet.)

      Notice that the good you do is always a finite good, not the Absolute Good (10:40).

• eg: Let's say you donated to a charity for tigers.  That’s good and selfless, right?  Well, how much did you donate?  Why didn't you donate more?  Why not donate your whole life savings?  That’s finite good, not infinite good.  You don’t love tigers infinitely.  So, your love for tigers is finite, you monster .

 

Survival and Goodness

     -Basically, you have survival needs that limit your capacity to be infinitely good.  Your capacity for goodness is limited by your empathy, your level of consciousness and especially your survival needs.

     -Notice that you can’t help others in an infinite way, unlike God.  Your physical form puts you in a survival bind.  After all, you can’t be loving and helpful if you’re dead.

     -This doesn’t mean you should stop doing good things because they're finite good.  You also shouldn't become a doormat.  This is just about understanding your limits as a human.

     -In enlightenment work, we experience peak states of love and still have to survive (16:40).  We realize that our day to day level of consciousness isn’t as high as it is in a peak mystical state.  That can make you feel less loving and worthy than someone who’s actually less conscious than you!

      You’re trying to live up to these impossible ideals of love.  Thing is you’re always going to fall short because of your survival needs.  Your love will always be finite and corrupted, but finite good is still a corrupted form of love and it's not "evil." (18:38)

     -The finite domain is the material domain.  It’s not fair to expect yourself to embody infinite love in the finite, material domain.

• eg: For Leo to film videos for us 🥳, he can’t be infinitely loving.  He has to be loving in a finite, corrupted way and keep certain attachments.  Otherwise he’d neglect his survival needs, give all his money away to charity, end up homeless and die 😭.  Then there’d be no more Actualized.org.   

     -Notice that when you express love it’s still finite, conditional and corrupted by survival.  That’s okay because you’re stuck in a human state of consciousness.

     -The Godhead is infinite and formless, so it can love infinitely and without fear of “losing” its formless form.

     -However, none of this is an excuse to be hurtful and unloving, or to not try to love more.

     -You can increase your capacity to love by raising your consciousness and empathy and recognize the holism and unity of everything.  Psychedelics is the most direct way.  Raise your baseline level of consciousness through meditation, yoga, mystical experiences.

     -Also, removing obstacles to love will make you more loving.  You can do shadow work, release fear, trauma, anxiety, anger, releasing limiting beliefs and judgments about others (sexism, racism, ableism, etc.)

      Reading more books can open your mind and heart.  Same with educating and exposing yourself to more cultures, people and experiences, so you’re not afraid of “foreigners.”

 

Idiot Compassion (31:50)

     -Idiot compassion means being compassionate in impractical ways that diminish your ability to contribute to the world.  Idiot compassion distracts from your life purpose.  It drains your ability to be compassionate in an effective way.   

     -Compassion is a delicate balancing act to find the point where you are serving the highest good, given your finite form and your strengths, weaknesses, problems and finite state of consciousness.  (33:00)

     (Reminds me of the episode where Leo talked about Obama’s drone strikes, and why it’s facile and unproductive to demonize complicated situations as “evil war crimes.”)   

 

Realistic Practical Love  

There’s a realistic, grounded practical version of love.  There are also two extreme traps people fall into:

1. The love is some "silly hippie notion" group.  The atheistic rationalists fall into this trap.  They’re so disconnected from love they don’t understand that love is the metaphysical foundation of reality.  
2. The ungrounded new age hippies who think you should always apply Absolute love without considering the implications of living in a relative, material world.  They talk about love and peace in an idiot compassion way.

       The idiot compassion group assumes that you just need to be lovey-dovey towards everyone and that solves everything.  They’re confused about the difference between Absolute truth and Relative truth.

       Having an intention to be lovey-dovey and good isn’t good enough.  You’re a finite being with survival needs.  You don’t have infinite money, time or resources.  No one has that, not even Batman.

 

Be Honest About Your Limits

     -You need to be honest with yourself about your limits.  You have to be selective with how you invest your energy.  You’re not unlimited in the material domain.  You can’t drink a glass of poison and survive.  You can’t jump out of a plane without a parachute and drop kick a coven of warlocks. 

     -To do good in the material, relative domain requires that you allocate a significant portion of your time and energy to taking care of your body.  So, love cannot only flow outwards from you.

     -Women have this problem because they tend to be more compassionate and fill more of a caretaker role in society.  They can become too giving and self sacrificing.  Leo’s mom is like this!  This ends up backfiring and leads to a lack of capacity to do good in the world.

     -When you’re serving others too much, you don’t take care of your needs and your body deteriorates.  You compromise your mental health and get drained.  You have to be smart and practical about how you express your love in the world. (37:23)

 

Effective Goodness Requires Exquisite Balance

     -If you really care about maximizing your output of love into the world, it requires exquisite balance and intelligence, there’s no algorithm for it (37:50).  To be good and giving, you need to maintain your poise, groundedness and connection to spirit itself.

      If you’re showering others with love but you have no love for yourself, you will create problems for yourself.  You have to find your unique balancing point.

     -To do good in the world, you have to be selective with your time, money, energy and resources.  You can’t help all the children in the world equally, there’s too many of them.  You have to choose which children in the world to help.  You can’t give money to every charity.  You have to make a choice.   You have to be wise about how you give your time, money and resources.

“How would the world be best served by the time and money I’m going to give?”

     -These are difficult questions with no obvious answers.  The whole point of you being alive, conscious and intelligent is to make these decisions for yourself.  That’s the hell and joy of life!

     -Material life is a finite experience.  That means you have to make difficult decisions.  You can’t go to every university, or date every lovely, eligible person, or fulfill every interesting life purpose.  Even one is too much for a lot of people.

     -So which life purpose is the best for you?  Which on is going to maximize your output of love?  Leo’s Life Purpose course can help you with this, but you have to make those decisions yourself.

     -It’s important to see the profound tradeoffs and interconnections between the finite and the infinite.  It’s a dynamic dance between the two.  That’s what reality is.

     -Intelligence is your capacity to see and maximize goodness, love and how it's expressed (41:50).  That’s the true definition of intelligence, not IQ.  The ultimate puzzle that intelligence is trying to solve is how to maximize love and goodness.  That’s the puzzle of your life.

     -All the decisions you make in life can be framed with this question: “How do I maximize love and my expression of love?”  Find wise ways to maximize love in the finite domain.  It’s very different than how a fool expresses love.

 

Wise vs Foolish Love

     -A fool tries to maximize love in foolish ways, like injecting heroin, or eating greasy cheeseburgers, or robbing someone’s life savings to spend it on a Maserati, or promoting toxic forms of picking up women.

       A fool may discover, eventually, that none of those ways are very effective.  They come with side effects and terrible consequences.  They don’t produce love consistently, and they don’t produce the highest levels of love either.  There are also costs that you pay, for the rest of your life, that outweigh the little bit of love you get in the short term.

 

     -The wise person wises up to the foolish ways he’s been trying to maximize love.  The cheeseburger drains your health, so the wise person will sacrifice taste for energy so he can funnel that into his life purpose.  He trades the love he would have gotten from the cheeseburger for a higher quality of love from his life purpose and the meaningful impact he’ll have on others.

      You could trade drugs like heroin for psychedelics.   That could lead to Kriya yoga or meditation.  You can bootstrap your capacity to love this way, inching your way up bit by bit.  You’re solving the puzzle of love.

     It takes a high degree of intelligence not to eat that cheeseburger, or give into vices and instead work on your life purpose (45:23).

 

Solving the Puzzle of Love

     -As you solve the puzzle of love, you become more loving and happy.  Love is all you want.  It’s what really makes you happy.

     -There are also different gradations of love.  If you’re a low consciousness person, you’re satisfied with low forms of love.  If you’re a high consciousness person the low forms of love no longer satisfy you.

• eg: If you’re a low consciousness person with no interest in growing, you might be happy with just going to bars and hooking up everyday for the rest of your life.
• If you’re mature, you’ll realize that’s not fulfilling anymore and you want a deeper form of love.  Maybe you’ll get married, and have children.  After a while you might take up psychedelics and yoga.

 

Stuck at a Level of Consciousness

     -A lot of people are stuck at a certain level of consciousness and they don’t want to raise it.  If you give them a high level of love it will freak them out and plunge them into an existential crisis.

     -To experience the higher forms of love requires maturity, wisdom and intelligence and very little fear.  There’s a trade-off between love and fear.  You have to be willing to surrender a lot of attachments.

       To a dogmatic, close-minded religious person, the highest forms of love will feel like hell.  They’re super attached to love looking like their religion or to a finite form of God.

     -Bad psychedelic trips can happen if you’re scared, close-minded and resistant to love.  Hell is being disconnected from love.  That’s why you need to do prep work to make the best use of psychedelics.  The infinite love will still be shocking and scare your pants off, but it won’t be hellish.  (ep: Dangers of Psychedelics.  Summary is here.)

     -If you have twisted understandings of the world and of people, you won’t open yourself to love.  Dense minds with big egos, traumas, fears and toxic ideologies will need a gradual process of development.  However, if you’re really advanced you may not need a long, drawn out process and can get straight to the love.

     -Actualized.org is all about raising your consciousness, opening your mind, and growing your capacity for love.  It’s about experiencing infinite love without recoiling in horror.  Even the episodes that seem dry, philosophical or technical are about that. (50:18)

 

     -So, good intentions aren’t just rationalizations.  They come from Absolute Good and ARE good.  They're just finite, partial and biased.

     -If you want the unadulterated, impartial, unbiased, Absolute kind of Love, you must become formless.  If you realize that you are the Godhead, you’ll have the best of both worlds.  You can bring the Godhead back into the finite, material world.  It’s all about how much love you can handle, and how you want to manifest that love.

 

Finite Doesn’t Mean Inferior

     -Finite manifestations of love are not inferior (53:50).  They’re less total, but “inferior” is a judgement you’re putting on it from your finite human self.  One doesn’t have less value than another.  The finger isn’t less valuable than the hand.  It’s smaller, it’s different, but not inferior.

     -From the Relative perspective, certain forms of love are “inferior” because they interfere with a larger purpose, which is to create a peaceful society.  So terrorism is an inferior form of love compared to charity work.

       It’s inferior from the Relative perspective, from the goal of constructing a good, happy thriving society.  From the Absolute perspective, terrorism isn't inferior to charity work or anything else for that matter.

       To the Godhead, everything in the universe is of equal value, because all parts are necessary.  No one part is more important or above any other part.  

      You need to know the difference between Relative and Absolute Truth.  Know how to distinguish them properly, but also know how to collapse them when necessary. (ep: Relative vs Absolute Truth)

___________________________________________________

@asifarahim You're very welcome 

@somegirl  Glad you find this helpful  

Edited October 14 by FlyingLotus

[somegirl]

Thanks for summaries! Very helpful

[FlyingLotus]

(Reposting because it was in bad need of a re-edit.  I wrote the original summary, so I'm referring to my own work, not someone else's, lol.)

476. Summary: "Understanding & Coping With Nihilism”

TLDR version:

     -People think nihilism is depressing, apathetic, and negative, but it isn’t.  It's False Nihilism that says life is meaningless so why bother, just be destructive.  Destroying something out of spite is attaching negative meaning to it. That’s not meaningless, that’s meaning.

     -True Nihilism recognizes that because life is meaningless, value is not absolute, but based on your survival agenda.  Because value is arbitrary, you are free to question everything you’ve been programmed with.  This cleans your slate and lets you build consciously, on a foundation that’s true to you.

You get to question and deconstruct everything you know, because it’s all arbitrary anyway.

     -This is emotionally difficult and confusing to the ego, but it will lead to your authentic purpose and even awakening to God consciousness.

     -During this nihilistic funk, learn a variety of perspectives to figure out what you want.  Cross reference them, Steel-man them.

     -You will create consciously instead of carrying out some inauthentic, default programming like an ideological robot.  You will align with love/passion, and live a life of purpose that’s based on what you truly value and who you chose to be.   

     -Your authentic purpose is your love for life expressed uniquely through you, free of the distortions of social conditioning, helping others to awaken to the truth of consciousness/infinite love/God.

     -When you're under the illusion that one thing is better or objectively more meaningful than another, you will always suffer because you will seek the better and resent the worse.

     -If you commit to realizing the Absolute Truth that nothing is better or more meaningful than anything else, you’ll discover that all things are wondrous, good and created by love and consciousness. (ep: Good Intentions II)  That frees you up to joyfully explore life and let go of your attachments.

_________________________________________________________________

 

Summary for "Understanding & Coping With Nihilism"

“In the dark night of the soul, bright flows the river of God.” — St. John of the Cross

     -What is Nihilism? Which parts of nihilism are true?  Which are false?  How does it fit with personal development work?  What are its limitations and strengths?

Society Tends to View Nihilism Very Negatively

       Dictionary definitions:

• “The rejection of all religious and moral principles in the belief that life is meaningless.”
• “Extreme skepticism, maintaining that nothing in the world has a real existence.”
• “A world view that traditional values and beliefs are unfounded and that existence is senseless and useless.”
• “A doctrine that denies any objective ground of truth and especially of moral truths.”

     -Nietzsche's saw Nihilism as a way to clear away all false narratives and religious systems.  It wasn't just about destroying all values.  It was about creating a clearing on top of which one can build an authentic life, based on one’s true values instead of social conditioning.

     -How do you know something is true for you unless you derive it for yourself, from first principles?  People are attached to society’s programming (religion, science, norms, values, morality, etc).  They overlook its limits and problems (inequality, hatred, judgment, violence, etc).

     -Saying that things should be destroyed because they’re meaningless doesn’t make sense.  If something has no meaning, how can it be “bad.”  If it’s not “bad,” why would you want to destroy it?  To actively destroy something out of spite is to attach a negative meaning to it.  That's an extra step the mind has to take.  That’s not neutral or meaningless or nihilistic.

 

Nihilism at the turn of the century

     Nietzsche wrote during the late 1800s, when Judeo-Christian values were starting to unravel (11:35).  Spiral Dynamics’ Stage Blue Christian culture was being challenged.  Nietzsche was at the forefront of Stage Orange.

       Refresher on Spiral Dynamics:   

• Stage Blue = Religious.  Traditional.  Rule based.  God-fearing.
• Stage Orange = Materialistic.  Success-oriented.  Capitalist.  Scientific.    
• Stage Green = Inclusive.  Compassionate.  Diverse.  New Age Hippies. 

 (This part of the episode has been glossed over somewhat)

     -Many of the axioms, assumptions and frameworks that existed for hundreds of thousands of years started to be questioned. (language, logic, mathematics, science, physics, gender roles, political systems, God, etc)

       Some people claimed all this change would unravel society and lead to war, disaster and many monstrosities.  You could say this is the backdrop against which World War I and World War II occurred.

       With all this change in this new directionless nihilistic world, how could society best move forward?  After a period of nihilism and questioning Stage Blue, we have Stage Orange (materialist, scientific, capitalistic worldview).

     -With the materialism of Stage Orange comes a pragmatic approach to reality (25:20).  The problem with Orange is if there's no higher order values, no God and anything is allowed.  That leads to a hollow existence. Life is just about material acquisition, personal comfort and carnal pleasure.  Losing spirituality leads to a lack of direction, and because of that society could become very dysfunctional.

     -With post-modernism, we start to question the idea of an objective reality, that science is the one true explanation for what reality is.  After all, scientists are biased in determining what’s worth studying.  It cherry picks data and how to interpret and frame that data.  Stage Green emerges in the 1950s and 1960s.

 

Nihilism, Feeling Lost and Aperspectival Madness

      -Stage Green is very difficult on you psychologically and emotionally because you feel lost (32:00).  If there’s no objective truth, how do you know which perspectives are beneficial and which are toxic?

      -Aperspectival madness.  If all moral systems are just constructions, programming and social conditioning.  If all views are just partial, limited ways of interacting with reality, how do you know which views are the most valid?

      -Leo went through a phase of being a complete relativist in his teens.  He thought neutrality was the closest to truth.  He didn’t realize as a teen that there are higher quality ways of looking at things and not every side is equally valid.  Later he started to question everything and became very skeptical.  After all, if you take even one thing on faith, it can open you up to deep epistemic error.

 

Why Nihilism Gets Viewed Negatively

Nihilism Undermines the Ego (39:33)

      -Meaning and value are not found in the outer world.  The ego constructs meaning and value in order to survive and orient itself.

eg: Science doesn't prove anything is valuable or meaningful.  Strictly speaking, all science does is measure and predict stuff.  It tells you where the moon will be next year, but doesn't tell you if the moon is good or bad.

      -Your survival needs will override any philosophical considerations of nihilism.  Humans are caught in an existential bind for survival.  You have deep instincts from a billion years of evolution.  You are biased against deconstructing meaning.

 

Society is in the Business of Constructing a Civilization (41:55)

      -Constructions are very useful for survival.  Society has a bias and the ego hates when its constructions are questioned.  Western civilization is a house of cards built on an unquestioned foundation of axioms and assumptions (metaphysical, epistemic, religious, theological, scientific, linguistic, etc).

eg: Money.  If everyone saw money as just pieces of paper it would destroy the economy.

      -Western civilization would rather go with a useful falsehood than the truth.  Most people aren't interested in knowing the dollar is imaginary.  They just want to use the dollar to buy food.

      -When your attitude is very selfish, that opens you to all sorts of falsehoods, fantasies, constructions and illusions.  These “useful falsehoods” get piled on. You get so lost in all the bs you forget it was just a construction from the beginning.

      -Dis-illusion: the loss of illusion (46:20).  Nihilism leads to disillusionment. Deconstructing the foundations of your mind will lead to an existential crisis. The ego doesn't like this.

eg: Why would a scientist who’s invested 40 years into his PhD work do a serious deconstruction of science or academia?  How would he will feel if he realized the entire foundation of science and academia is built on illusions, fictions and constructions?

      -The mind has an infinite capacity for denial and rationalization.  It’s interested in survival, not truth. You’re playing ego games, but you think you're being rational and truthful.   This stops you from doing a serious investigation into the foundations of your mind and reality.

 

What Nihilism Gets Right

1. Life Has No Meaning and Purpose (50:40)

       -Because all value is created by the ego, things only have meaning relative to your ego's survival.  Meaning and purpose are based on ego and identity.  What's meaningful to one person will not be meaningful to another.

• Buddha is meaningful to Buddhists, but not so much to Christians.
• In the Catholic Church eating a wafer/eucharist is meaningful.  To a Buddhist, or scientist it has nothing to do with being spiritual.
• The moon has huge value to NASA and very little value to your dog, no matter how much he enjoys howling at it.

       -If everything is meaningless, why should a good life be any more meaningful than a bad life?  After all, some people like to suffer!  This means you’re free to pick whatever life purpose you want.

 

2. All Morality is Relative       

       -There is no “good” without an ego.  Morality is based on value, meaning and purpose.   All the atrocities of human history were justified as “good” because it helped the perpetrators.

       -How can something be “bad” if you don't care what happens to you?  If you didn't care about being tortured, then it wouldn't be bad.  People think that badness is “baked into” the torture.

      “Badness” is just your reaction to fear, hatred or the pain it causes. Why should pain be bad?  If you didn't have pain in your life you'd be dead.       

      -Saying that “death is bad” implies a bias towards life.  If life is meaningless, why should you value life over death?  You can't have life without death, so if you condemn death then you also condemn life.

       Everything finite dies.  The only thing that doesn't die is the infinite, but the infinite isn't alive to begin with.  The infinite includes both life and death.  It doesn't distinguish between the two.  It also doesn't value one over the other.

      -If you think you're being rational or scientific by holding these beliefs, you just haven’t thought through them.  Science has no opinion.  In fact, science would tell you that pain and suffering are useful because it’s how we evolved.

 

3. All of Reality is Relative

      There is no objective, external world (59:35). Not just at the cultural level, but the ontological and metaphysical level.  You are hallucinating physical reality. (Leo has other videos on this)

 

4. Reality Cannot Be Known in the Way Humans Try to Know It

      The universe is infinite and your knowledge is always partial and limited. Your models are just partial perspectives and you will never get the full perspective by acquiring more and more knowledge (Epistemic Nihilism).

 

5. All Beliefs are Ultimately Untrue

      (Leo has other videos on this)

 

What Nihilism gets Wrong

1. Nihilism Gives Meaninglessness a Negative Meaning (1:01:48)

      -Meaningless means the absence of meaning, not the presence of negative or positive meaning.

      False “lower-case” nihilism: Surface level nihilism that doesn’t go far enough.  Says life is meaninglessness and thus “bad.”   Can lead to depression, cynicism.  Giving meaninglessness a negative meaning is self-contradicting.

      True “upper-case” Nihilism: Deep nihilism that deconstructs your ego and worldview, so you can create your life and values from a clean slate.

      -If  hearing that “the world is meaningless” means something to you, that's not meaninglessness that's meaning.  If you truly realized that life is meaningless, you couldn't be depressed about it.  If you're using that as a reason to destroy or be lazy, that’s giving it negative meaning.

      -False nihilism is just toxic ego.  That’s why people intuit that nihilism is maladaptive.  You don't want to live in the world as a toxic, false nihilist.  If you're angsty and turning into a misanthrope, you need to recognize this not true nihilism.  You’re attaching negative meanings and that is ego.  It’s also less functional than the ego of those who construct illusions and houses of cards.

      -You need to take your Nihilism deep enough so it goes full circle into True Nihilism which deconstructs all your illusions.

 

2. You can't derive an ‘Ought’ from an ‘Is’

      -Reality could be completely meaningless and you could still enjoy it (1:05:25).  To say that “reality is meaningless” does not mean you ought to do something about it, like destroy an institution or commit suicide. 

      eg: You could be a total nihilist and still enjoy sunbathing in Hawaii with beautiful women, or gazing into the ocean eyes of an Adonis, an exemplar of the Divine Masculine, over a candlelit dinner at sunset, after a day of snorkelling off a glass bottom boat surrounded by cute baby seals, while indulging in fresh roasted macadamia nuts drenched in chocolate, after riding a hot air balloon over a safe but bubbling volcano, flocked by singing doves, and then Mr. Ocean Eyes gets down on one knee and says, “FlyingLotus, you could make me the happiest man in the world by”—sorry, where was I?

           Yeah, anyway, those things are perfectly compatible with nihilism, meaninglessness and whatever.  (It’s not pathetic.  It’s a good song!)

      -Nihilism completely frees you up to be any way you want.   The question is: what do you really want?  Now if destruction genuinely makes you feel good, I guess you could go for it, but does it make you feel good?  Is that really what you want?

       You might say, "no, that's part of the game.  You ought to destroy the system, man.”  But, why is destruction better than creation?  Shouldn’t nihilism leave you in a neutral position?

      -The real problem is you’re confused about what you want.  If you cleared that up you would be very careful in what you destroy.   Certain things need to be questioned and reformed, like corrupt social institutions.  However, the desire to take a wrecking ball to everything is a dead end.

 

3. Nihilism Doesn't Complete the Deconstruction of the Ego into Awakening and God Realization

      -Skepticism is often misused.  False skepticism happens when nihilism is used to destroy everything outside of you, but it's not turned in towards you.

      -True skepticism is also skeptical of itself.  It takes the wrecking ball of nihilism and skepticism and swings it at yourself. It deconstructs your giant ego before you go deconstructing institutions, social systems, science, religion, etc.

      -Most nihilists Leo runs into have a giant nihilistic ego.  Nihilism becomes their ego and identity, but they're not conscious of that.  They are contradicting themselves, because when the nihilism gets so deep, the nihilism has to destroy itself too, but most nihilists won’t do that because it’s too threatening for the ego.

      -The ego co-ops nihilism, which becomes very dysfunctional.  Nihilism as a survival strategy in life won’t work out well for you.

 

4. Nihilism is Stuck at the Level of Concept

      -It’s not actualized into deconstructing your ego, which leads to true awakening.  Mostly nihilism is a belief or philosophy.

 

5. Nihilism isn’t Political

      -If you think government is evil, you're not being a proper nihilist.  It shouldn’t necessarily lead to anarchy.

 

6.  Nihilism overlooks what happens when you reach the bottom of nihilism

      -If you go all the way down the rabbit hole of nihilism, you eventually awaken to the absolute.  Everything loses meaning, but then you go through the dark night of the soul and the ego dies.  Then you awaken to God.

      -Consciousness is the only real thing.  Nihilism is missing the very soul and heart of reality.  You are God.  God is everything.  God is beauty, love, divinity, spirit, goodness, truth, consciousness, all as absolutes.

      -The paradox of meaninglessness is that when it completely collapses you discover infinite love and absolute goodness, which is everything (1:11:47).  Then you’ll realize all those stupid nihilistic beliefs, all those philosophers you read, were all deluded.  “I was just using nihilism as a defence mechanism against the realization of what I am as God, as infinite love.”

      -Then you're no longer depressed.  You no longer want to destroy at that point.  You fall so in love with yourself and reality that you actually rediscover a higher purpose.  Your higher purpose is to help mankind awaken, not because you have to, not because someone told you to, but simply because that's what God would do.  That's what consciousness does.

 

Consciousness is a Self-Awakening System

      -Everything that happens within consciousness is just a means to help consciousness awaken to itself (1:13:00).  When you relinquish your selfish needs you lose yourself, then you become a force of the universe for its own awakening.

       There's a million ways you could do that (art, teaching, engineering, science, politics, etc).  Then your life takes on the highest and deepest meaning.

      -You realize that all meaning is a construction, but awakening is not a construction.  The universe awakening to itself is an absolute.  So what the nihilist is overlooking is the the existence of the absolute.  Many scientific, atheistic and rational people just can't open their minds to the possibility of the existence of an absolute truth.

      -Consider that you're wrong and that absolute truth does actually exist.  This is it.  You're in absolute truth right now you just don't realize.

 

Criticisms of Nihilism from Above and from Below

• Criticism of Nihilism from Below:
  • Fear-based, ego-based, shadow-based.  Nihilism will lead to an inability to function in the world.  Relativity will lead to total chaos.  Society will fall apart without traditional values.  The criticism is a defence mechanism from deconstructing the ego.
• Criticisms of Nihilism from Above:
  • Nihilism is self-defeating and conceptual.  When you go all the way with nihilism, you realize something deeper: infinite consciousness, love and God.

 

• Before you Critique Nihilism, First Acknowledge its Truths
  • Everything is absolutely groundless and relative.
  • The world is inherently devoid of meaning.
  • All value is self-biased.

The trick is that applies to nihilism too. You gotta do the self-reflection, complete the strange loop and realize that your nihilism eats its own tail.

 

      The Real Problem with Nihilism: It Doesn't Go Far Enough

      -You need to take nihilism past ideas and into embodied practice.  The ego loves to neuter things that can change your life by turning them into mere ideas or philosophy.     

      -A mystic is just a nihilist who went all the way, who took it from philosophy to embodiment.

 

Spirituality is Nihilism

      -Spirituality and nihilism are not opposed to each other.  Spirituality is just nihilism actualized (1:20:10).

      -All your attachments were programmed into your mind. It’s all social conditioning (ego, religion, culture, identity, etc).  You didn't sit down and choose them consciously.  This includes “objective” stuff like science and materialism.  Your consciousness is hindered by social conditioning.

      -Nihilism lets you wipe the slate clean.  It allows you to deconstruct the value of everything.  From that clean slate you can develop your own meaning in life, your own purpose, your own system of values.  You can’t be satisfied in life and inauthentic at the same time.

      -It's paradoxical, by questioning and deconstructing everything, you will become truly, deeply spiritual. That will make you more spiritual than anyone who professes to be spiritual under the social conditioning model.   You will become very authentic, very grounded, strong as an individual and powerful as a leader.

      -“But values are still meaningless constructions!”  Yes, but when you realize you’re in a dream, there's nothing to do but play.

      Ask yourself: 

• How would I play the game if I was totally free and unattached?  If I wasn't coming from neediness, attachment or fear?
• How do I want to manifest my love in the world, according to my own personal preferences?

      -You can have preferences but they don’t have to be absolutes.  You also don’t have to force them on others.

      -Knowing that reality is an illusion is the greatest gift, because there's nothing to fear.  Construct whatever meanings you want and be honest with yourself that you're constructing them.  Construct consciously rather than unconsciously.

 

Becoming Superman

      -Humans take their own constructions so seriously when it’s mostly ?.

      -The Superman is living completely from his or her own authentic inner core (1:26:25).  His inner motivations run far deeper than anything that society can program.  (Nietzsche's Ubermensch)

      -These are superhuman capacities: infinite intelligence, deep consciousness, living presence.  Unlike finite algorithms or social programming.

 

Nihilism and the Hero’s Journey

      -Nihilism is the belly of the whale in the Hero’s Journey (1:30:20).  People invent distractions and excuses to avoid it.  Don’t fear it, go through it!

      -The belly of the whale is the lowest point in the journey. It's your deepest turning inwards to figure out if you have what it takes to defeat your deepest obstacle.  The key to victory isn’t a magic sword, it’s your heart and spirit.

       Is your soul steeled enough to face your deepest inner weaknesses?

      -The Hero’s Journey is a metaphor for God realization.  The hero breaks through to infinite love, brings back the holy grail to his villagers and helps them drink from the cup of infinite love.

      - You have to be careful because you can go through the journey in a dysfunctional way and end up killing yourself.  Being a hero is more difficult than living in mediocrity, going to your nine-to-five job.  (ep: Dangers of Spiritual Work)

 

Nihilism is Nothing

      -The tragedy for the false nihilist is they never realize that God is nothing.  God is an infinite, loving nothing.

      -The Godhead’s Nothing is an infinite shapeshifter with no shape.  An eraser that can erase itself.  Nothing is not non-existence.  Nothing exists.  Non-existence does not exist.  There’s no such thing as non-existence because there's only existence/consciousness.

• eg: The Holy Spirit.  Consciousness.  Nirvana.  Shunyata.  Teotl.  Fana.  Shiva.  The Groundless Ground.  Mu.  The Tao.  The Force.  

      -If your worldview is as true as you believe, deconstruction can't harm it.  Why are you so threatened by nothing?  It takes enormous humility to question everything you know.

      -The devil co-opts spiritual truths to put on a facade of spiritual work.  It’s the ego, scared of losing itself and all of its constructions. (ep: What is the Devil)  Some of the biggest devils portray themselves as the most spiritual.

 

Practical Tips

       The problem is you can't find yourself unless you lose yourself first (1:45:20).   So, how do you deal with the relativity, neutrality and multi-perspectivalism of the nihilistic process?

1. Distinguish Between Relative truth and Absolute truth

      -Science, religion, culture, etc may not be Absolutely True, but they can be true about some things (Relative Truth).  (ep: Relative vs Absolute Truth)

eg: The absolute truth is that all is One, but the relative truth is that the US has a two party system and you can only vote for one.  So, which is more aligned with your values?

      -I still have preferences even though God loves everything equally.  I may want a passionate life, but not because it's absolutely true or God is forcing me.  Wanting a passionate life is valid, in and of itself.

      -Leo has many episodes on Absolute Truth.  The Structure of Reality episode is a good one among many good ones.

 

2. Know that your Preferences and Biases Aren’t Objective Truths

      -If you admit they’re relative, you don’t have to play defensive games anymore.  Being honest about your preferences and selfishness stops you from grounding it in a made up story that pretends to be “objective” (genetics, science, religion).  You’re freed from ideology.

eg: “I’m Christian because I was born in Texas where Christianity is popular and I enjoy Jesus because I know him better than other gods.”   

        versus   

“People who don’t believe in Jesus are bound for hell.”

 

3. Study Lots of Perspectives

      -Do a lot of studying during your nihilistic funk.  Date around without marrying the first perspective you meet.  This could last 2-5 years.  (books, videos, retreats, teachers, traditions, etc.)

      -Not all will be equally good or bad.  You’ll have biases.  You will be confused and that's okay!  You can play them off each other and cross reference them.

 

4. Distinguish Between Lower Quality vs Higher Quality Perspectives

 

5. Don’t Get Stuck in Neutral or the Default

      -Not choosing is a choice.  Life is an existential bind where you must act, you must choose.  You can’t align with perfect neutrality.

      -You’re Not a Blank Slate.  You have a default position no matter what because of social programming.  If you don’t choose, that is what will run the show.

 

6. What you Want is the Good Life. 

      -Watch Leo’s episode on The Point of Life.  It's really good, especially if you care about Life Purpose.   

      -Be the excited kid with millions of lego pieces.  Experiment with building many things.  Get inspired by different legos and other people’s unique creations.  Follow Your Bliss.  

       Don’t be the bitter kid with only 100 pieces, who builds what everyone else builds, who is close-minded about which pieces to use, who debates and hates creations and creators that are different.

 

7. Embrace Confusion

      -Trust the process.  Don’t view confusion as negative.  Your ego is scared of uncertainty.  (ep: How to Deal with Confusion)

      -Play with ideas, play with life, have fun ?.  Verify different perspectives for yourself.  You’re building your own epistemology from scratch by questioning everything.  It’s a very healthy thing to do.

 

Signs that a Perspective is Higher or Lower

-The big difference is selfishness vs. selflessness (2:05:55) .

Lower Perspectives:

• Selfish.  Based in fear, hatred, judgment, violence.
• Us vs Them. Uses emotion, dogma and ideology to demonize the other side.
• Close-minded, clings to attachments.  Doesn’t take in new information.
• Tries to monopolize other perspectives.  Ignores other perspectives, “All other perspectives are stupid.  Just focus on my perspective.”
• Unaware that it’s subjective, that it’s just a perspective.  Thinks it represents “reality." Also rejects parts of reality that don’t confirm its biases.

Higher Perspectives:

• Selfless, courageous, loving.
• Open minded, curious, playful, interested in exploring more perspectives.
• Nuanced and sophisticated.  Intellectually honest and rigourous.
• Systemic, meta and holistic.
• Self-aware.  Higher perspectives are aware they are a subjective perspective among many.
• Non-monopolistic.  Doesn’t claim to be the only valid perspective.
• Inclusive.  Higher perspectives understand and include the Lower perspectives, but not vice versa.
• Higher perspectives can Steel Man lower perspectives.  Lower perspectives cannot steel man higher perspectives.

Find the Good in All Perspectives.

Try to Steel Man Different Perspectives  It’s the opposite of a Straw Man.  Steel Man: Challenging your opponent’s best argument. 

Watch for how a perspective tries to lock you in.

      -Do they let you study other perspectives?  For example, the scientific community will discredit you for studying the paranormal, new age or religion. 

Fear vs Love

• If a perspective is coming from fear, it's false.  If it’s coming from love it's true (2:12:45).  That’s because truth is Love, there's just many degrees of love/truth.
• If you commit to the path of raising your consciousness, you can discover the Absolute Truth that nothing is better or more meaningful than anything else, because all things are wondrous, good and created by love and consciousness. (ep: Good Intentions II)
• When you are under the illusion that one thing is better or objectively more meaningful than another, you will always suffer because you will seek the better and resent the worse.
• Love is its own reward.  Surrender to love, beauty and truth.  Live your life like it’s a work of art.  Work towards that love with courage and purpose.  Your authentic purpose is just your love for life expressed uniquely through you, free of the distortions of social conditioning.

Edited February 15, 2022 by FlyingLotus

[FlyingLotus]

(Didn't post this properly the first time.  Also needed a re-edit.)

440. Summary: How To Forgive Anyone Who Hurt You - A Powerful Trauma Release Exercise

“Father forgive them for they know not what they do.” -Luke 23:24

 

       Forgiveness is a very powerful tool that can help you heal and reach new levels of consciousness and fulfilment in life.  This exercise is a template for how to heal any situation in which anyone has ever wronged you or hurt you in some way.

       1) Pick a person and a situation you want to work on forgiving. Probably an immediate family member.  It can be a major or minor event, as long as there’s hurt, emotional baggage or lingering injustice.

       2) Don’t start with something super heavy or traumatic.  This exercise can stir up a lot of repressed emotion and memories.  You should see a therapist for super heavy, traumatic stuff.

 

       Forgiveness Meditation

       (Meditation Begins at 7:27)

       ○ Replay the memory as you’re listening to the guided meditation.  If the situation is really painful, you can relive the situation from a third-person perspective to get some emotional distance.

       ○ Notice your true feelings towards this person as a result of this situation. You might love this person, but deep down there may be some suppressed resentment that you tried to ignore or never fully aired out.

       ○ Don't try to act tough or pretend like you're invincible.  Allow yourself to feel the hurt.

       ○ Notice the judgments you have.  How did he or she fail you?  What did you want from them that they failed to give you in this situation?

       ○ Now ask yourself, do I want to forgive this person for this situation: yes or no?  If you don’t, that’s okay, but let’s look a little deeper. (14:00)

 

       What does forgiveness mean here?   

• What are you saying yes or no to?
• Are you willing to let go of what they did to you without holding it against them in anyway anymore?
• Are you willing to let go of the hurt, the sense of injustice and the need to get even?
• Are you willing to stop demonizing them?  To understand the situation from their point of view?
• Are you willing to extend your mercy to that person?
• Why would you say yes to forgiveness?

 

       Notice that your hate, resentment and judgment weighs you down in life.  Forgiveness will make you stronger.  Replay the situation in your mind, considering all these extra factors:

• Do you want to be a strong person or a weak person?
• Do you want to be a hateful person or a loving person?
• Do you want to continue being traumatized?
• Do you want to clear the air and maybe rebuild that relationship?
• You can hold on to that resentment until your deathbed, but is that really what you want?

 

       Keep looking at this situation until you realize that you want to be strong and not small, which means you want to forgive.  So if you're still resisting, keep looking deeper and deeper until your mind realizes that forgiveness is the wisest course of action.

       If you're unsure, be courageous and take a gamble.  After all, if you think the forgiveness was a mistake you can pick your resentment back up later.

 

       The Five Reasons People Hurt You

       Now let's look at the other person's point of view (22:19).  Deeply contemplate: why did this person hurt you? Notice that they didn't want to hurt you.

       Most of the evil stuff people do is just action out of ignorance, fear, selfishness, the need for and lack of love, and lack of consciousness.  These are universal truths about human behavior that cover many situations.

       1. Ignorance.  They were doing their best to do good, but given their limited capabilities the result wasn't good for you.  They were ignorant, so their best wasn't very good.  If they're in a low state of consciousness what they think is best for you might be the exact opposite.

       2. Weakness and Fear.  If they did something nasty to you, it's probably because they were weak in that moment.  They succumbed to some kind of fear or temptation, therefore they hurt you.

       3. Selfishness.

       4. Lack of Love and because of that, a desperate desire to get love.  Deep down they were lacking in love and they wanted love from you, but because they're ignorant, selfish and weak they didn't know how to properly get the love they wanted.  Usually when somebody does something “evil” it's because they want love, but don't know how to get it except through selfish actions.

       5. Lack of Consciousness.  This was not a high consciousness person. At that time and situation, if the person was in a more developed state, they would have behaved very differently.

 

       If you still can't see this, keep replaying and contemplating the situation deeper until you see that this is true.

       All people are seeking love in one form or another (31:50).  Can you see how in this situation this person was not being evil, but actually this person was trying to be good?  This person was seeking love in ignorant ways.  It might be in the form of money, sex, a relationship, a favour, a business opportunity, fame, pleasure, etc.  These are all just different forms of love.

       You can't just assume that the person is identical to you and should have acted the way you would have.  To say “they shouldn't have done that”  ignores their entire life history.

       People are different, so how you handle a situation is very different from how someone else might.  People have different strengths, weaknesses, genetics, upbringing, personality, capabilities, talents, experiences, resources, more money, less money, more status, less status, different gender.

 

       The Struggle for Love is Universal

      Now, bring to mind all of the times when you have acted out of ignorance, weakness, fear, selfishness, unconsciousness and a need for love.  (36:00)  Draw that direct connection, that commonality, between this person and yourself.

       You weren't hurt because somebody wanted to hurt you. They were just acting out universal dynamics of human behavior.  So it's really not personal, and likewise you've done the same thing.

       It might seem like, “shouldn’t it be obvious that this person hurt me?”  Not to that person, because they have a different world view.  They're so preoccupied with fulfilling their need for love that they’re unaware of the collateral damage of their actions.  That is ignorance and lack of consciousness in a nutshell.

 

       Notice how in your life you try to be good most of the time (40:05). Almost never do you intentionally try to hurt others.  If you do it's usually accidental, out of ignorance of some kind.  Now apply this principle to this person in this situation.

       Notice that when you do something “bad” in your life, you’re still fundamentally good.  The bad that you do is a mistake.  It's a failure, an oversight due to your weakness, fear and ignorance.  All you ever want is to be good. The problem is it’s difficult to be good.

 

       Notice that this person who hurt you is also fundamentally good.  They are trying to be good, but doing it through their worldview.  Just like you, all this person ever wanted from life was love.  If they lied, cheated, manipulated or bullied you, it’s because they wanted love.

       What we all have in common is that we're all struggling for love. Try to find that common thread between your behaviors and this person's behaviors and really all human behaviors.

 

       We all fear.  We're all ignorant, selfish and unconscious to various degrees (43:00).  Granted, some are less ignorant and selfish than others, but why?  It’s because they’re born in different circumstances.  Your parents were born in a different time where it might have been much more difficult to survive, requiring them to be more blunt in their approach.

       You know these limitations intimately, so you should be able to draw a deep, existential, common link between your struggles and the struggles of this person.  Fundamentally, the struggle is the same.  It just manifests itself in different ways.

       How can you hold a grudge against this person for being desperate for love when you have been that way your entire life?  Are you willing to be so merciful, so strong that you even drop the need to get even?  Can you forgive a human for being scared, ignorant, unconscious, wanting love and for trying to be good but failing along the way?

       A selfish, hurt person wants to get even.  A generous, strong person can extend mercy without needing to get even. The highest strength you can possess is to be hurt by another and to not need to retaliate, because you're secure in yourself.

 

       A Chain of Hurt

       Hurt people hurt people (48:20).  Notice that if you were hurt, the person who hurt you was probably hurt by someone else.  It's a chain of hurt.  So, are you willing to be strong enough to break this chain of hurt?  Or, are you going to be a link in this toxic chain and pass the hurt on to somebody else?

       The people closest to you will get hurt the most by the hurt that you refuse to let go of.  When you don't forgive, that hurt bubbles up in unconscious, ignorant ways.  It affects your behavior and inadvertently hurts others, like your children, spouse and friends.

       Do you want to infect others like a virus, or do you want to be strong, cut the chain and save somebody else from incurring your hurt?

 

       A Conscious Choice

       You have the option to make a conscious choice, but look at your options (50:45).  Do you choose to keep judging this person who hurt you and not forgive them?  If so, notice that you're choosing that out of weakness, selfishness, fear and ignorance.

       On the other hand, you could choose to be selfless and good, to heal yourself and let go of this resentment.  To break the chain of hurt, in which case you choose consciousness, wisdom and love over fear.

       Now that you’re aware of the consequences of your choices, you can make a conscious decision.  Do you want to choose fear and selfishness, or do you choose selflessness and love?  Don't feel forced here.  This has to be a conscious free choice.

       Are you loving and selfless enough to embrace the one who hurt you?  People act out of fear and a need for love, and sometimes they'll cause collateral damage towards you.  Will you let that debase you or will you rise above that?

 

       Weak or Strong?

       Are you strong enough to love even when others are too weak to love you, or are you so weak that you're going to wait for others to love you before you extend your love to them (54:00).  Are you strong enough to be able to love without requiring your love to be returned back to you immediately?

       Recognize that if you don't forgive you are being less than your highest self.  You are being less than you are fully capable of because you are capable of love.  If you reject this forgiveness you're doing so out of fear, the fear of what would happen if you loved somebody who hurt you or somebody who was ignorant.  This is the very same cycle that led to you being hurt in the first place by this person.

       Right now you can consciously break this cycle of ignorance, so make your choice.  Whatever choice you make is fine—no judgments. If you still decide not to forgive, then that's just where you're at.

 

       Forgive Yourself First

       Before you can fully forgive the other person you must first forgive yourself (56:20).  Forgive yourself for all the times that you have been ignorant, selfish, fearful, unconscious and needy for love.  Forgive yourself for all the times that you have inadvertently hurt others.

       Now why would you forgive yourself for this?  Because that's life!  Because life has put you in this existential bind where you have to survive and where you start life from total ignorance.  Survival is complex, counterintuitive and it takes trial and error to learn how to navigate life.  So, are you gonna judge yourself for having been born in ignorance?

       Others are doing the same thing and this generates the full gamut of life, the highs and the lows.  So are you willing to forgive yourself for being ignorant and selfish and fearful and needy for love?  Why would you not?

       If you're able to forgive yourself then notice that you simultaneously forgive the other person as well.  There's no difference between forgiving self and forgiving other.  You’re not just forgiving a specific situation.

       You’re forgiving the general universal principles of ignorance, selfishness, fear, unconsciousness and craving for love.

       These are much easier things to forgive when you frame it in this universal way, because these are like forces of nature.  It's sort of like forgiving gravity. Gravity is just a force of nature.  It's not personal.

 

       People are Different

       You might know how to cope with a situation in a healthy way but don't assume that others do.  (ep: Why People Seem Crazy)

eg: Don’t assume that your parents or people from a prior generation to you have that kind of knowledge and wisdom.  Your parents couldn't just google how to cope with depression, alcoholism, etc.

      They weren’t lucky enough to come across personal development, spirituality or awakening.  Your parents probably had to suffer through that for 40 years until they had you and then they transferred the hurt onto you because they didn't know better.

       So, keep replaying this situation with this person until you realize that anything short of total forgiveness in this situation would be beneath you. You are too good and too strong not to forgive this person.  If any hurt remains keep going through this process, like a cycle. Just keep contemplating it deeper and deeper and deeper.  You may need to do this a few times.

 

       Awakening and Forgiveness

       There's an even deeper version of this exercise for those of you who had some degree of awakening.  If you haven’t had that this section might not make much sense (1:03:10).

       At the existential level, the boundary between self and other is not real.  You can do this exercise again, but notice that the person you were hurt by is literally you.  So, you hurt yourself.  You have been resenting yourself.  You were both the hurter and the one who was hurt and the hurt that was felt.

       Existentially, this hurt happened because both parts of reality, of consciousness, was asleep, divided and fragmented.  You merge yourself with the other and notice that you and other are one.  You finally reunite the two.  You notice that everything is You with a capital y, or God with a capital g.

       Also, if you've become highly conscious, you know that reality, self and God are completely inevitable.  There's no other way that this situation could be, so what happened to you couldn't have been otherwise.  It was perfect, because it was necessary for your awakening, and for you to have further and deeper awakenings.

       You can recontextualize this situation as necessary to make you more compassionate, to overcome the situation, forgive, let go, be merciful and realize a deeper form of yourself as love.  If you've had an awakening you know that you are love.  So, forgiveness is nothing other than you being love.

       Love is the expression of the entire universe, such that no matter what happens it is love. There's absolutely nothing to forgive, because everything that ever happened to you was love, and at this point you have accepted yourself completely as what you truly are, which is love!

       When you realize this, you go full circle.  You’re completely whole, healed and nobody can hurt you.  You look back and realize that nothing really hurt you, because it was all just necessary for you to learn a deeper form of love.  So who got hurt?

       This last part here is some advanced stuff.  If this doesn't resonate with you, just keep working on the psychological level, that’s powerful enough by itself.

 

Future Practice

       1) Do this exercise multiple times until you get the hang of it (1:09:40).  You can do a simplified version of it.  Basically, you’re drawing a commonality between the one who hurt you and you who got hurt.  You're bringing the two closer and closer until they merge into a unity that nullifies and cancels itself out.  It heals itself in unity.

       2) Practice this on multiple significant people in your life (mother, father, siblings, ex spouse, partner).  Like those you were closest to in childhood, those who caused the most pain.  You have more people to forgive than you think.

       3) Practice this on individual traumatic events. What happened with your father when you were 5 years old, 10 years old, 15 years old, 20 years old, etc.

       It's also going to depend on how traumatic your childhood was.  The more ignorant, unconscious, fearful and selfish your parents were, the more trauma and hurt they transferred on to you inadvertently.  Therefore, the more work you're gonna have to do to let it all go, but also the deeper your lessons will be.

       Don't think that if you have all this trauma that somehow you're in some terrible situation.  No, the upside to having a very traumatic childhood is that, although it was terrible, if you're able to overcome and heal it all, you will be so powerful, so much more powerful than a person who had it easy.  If you work through everything on your plate you can become really strong.

 

       Invest in Your Future

       Make this investment in the future of your life (1:12:40).  Doing all this forgiveness work should be enough to cauterize a lot of those old wounds.  If you focus, this can take as little as a week or up to a month.

       Think of how much this is going to free up your life going forward.  It’ll free up your family and intimate relationships.  It'll make you more loving, easy going and peaceful.

       Otherwise this trauma accumulates and doesn't get processed fully.  It robs you of energy, making you bitter, petty, depressed and cynical.  You’ve been so hurt by life that you lash out and want to hurt others, and that cycle perpetuates itself.

 

       The Power of Understanding

       Notice the power of understanding (1:14:30).  Draw a connection between how a deep, proper understanding of a situation removes all the baggage and enables you to heal.

       If you think that reality is this terrible awful thing, that's simply because you lack a high enough, existential understanding of life and other people.  If you did, it would heal you and you would be loving.

       God is mercy because God has infinite self understanding.  There's nothing left to forgive, because you completely accept yourself as what you truly are.  Which is the Truth, the Absolute and Oneness with the Universe.  When you're Everything, what is there to judge?  Resentment only exists within duality.  Anything you resent would just be you shooting yourself in the foot.

       Realize that forgiveness is nothing other than self-love, self-acceptance, unity, truth and consciousness.  You're so conscious that you have nothing left to hate.  To reject the absolute, to reject the inevitable is insanity.

 

       A Warning about Forgiveness

       Don’t use this technique to tolerate some jerk who is actively abusing, mistreating or not appreciating you (1:18:00).  To keep excusing and suffering his abuse is a misuse of forgiveness.  You being loving doesn't mean you have to be someone else’s slave.  That’s a common misunderstanding.

       Leaving a toxic relationship is love.  Acknowledge first that you're in an abusive relationship that’s not going to work out.  Muster the courage to leave and then you can practice forgiveness all you want, from a safe distance away from the abuser.

       You can forgive yourself for getting into this terrible relationship.  You can forgive this boyfriend or spouse, but first you must recognize that there’s such a thing as physical and emotional danger.  You don't want to use forgiveness to maintain a bad, objectively unhealthy situation.

       If this person is just totally selfish, abusive, blaming, unwilling to work on himself and communicate with you, you need to leave.  The most loving action here is to realize that this person is not right for you and this won’t work out.   

 

       Psychedelics and Forgiveness

       Try doing this exercise while doing psychedelics (1:21:25).  Psychedelics raise your consciousness and open your mind to God, Love, to the ignorance that others are in and that you’ve been in your whole life.

 

       Non-Duality is Not Nihilistic

       Non-duality is not some dry, cold, philosophical nihilism (1:25:00).  With awakening you don't awaken to some bleak, nihilistic reality.  You awaken to love.  Enlightenment is healing.  You become complete, you become God, you become Love.  You become whole again.  Your birth was like a fracture in universal mind.  It gets put back together with enlightenment, or with death.

       Reality is not this neutral thing that materialists and scientists have taught you to believe.  Buddhists also talk about reality being emptiness.  Of course love is emptiness, love is nothingness, consciousness is nothingness.  It's just that “emptiness” has a lot of bad connotations to it.  It's often confused with nihilism.  People who've never fully, deeply experienced emptiness don't understand that it's love.   

        That's the miracle of awakening.  Awakening is so good that you die by drowning in an ocean of infinite goodness.  Then you become nothing.  You become God.  What kind of sick, twisted universe would this be if it wasn't pure love?

       The twisted, sickness of it wasn't in the universe itself.  It was in your perception of it.  So, when you unravel your ego you see reality as it is: just pure love. (ep: The Structure of Reality)

 

       Why Work So Hard To Awaken?

• “But Leo, if awakening and death are the same thing, why work so hard to awaken?  I'll just wait to die and it'll be the same thing as working really hard for enlightenment today.”

       So you want to live a miserable life for the next 50, 60, 80 years where you never see the infinite love that is all around?  That’s your life strategy? (1:30:00)

       Imagine you were born an orphan, but had a 100 billion dollar trust fund.  People told you to check your trust fund, but you said, “that’s bs.  I'm gonna keep struggling and going to a minimum wage job.”  Then on your deathbed you finally check your trust fund and realize it had 100 billion dollars in it.  Then you die.  That would be the most tragic situation, but that's exactly what you're doing when you're postponing your awakening.

       Every minute that you're not awake you're living through an unnecessary hell, not realizing the love that is all around you.  You could do that if you're a masochist.

       So, what do you do after awakening?  You appreciate the love and then you radiate the love and you participate in the love and that's how life should be.  The problem is humans are so scared of love that they spend their whole lives running away from it.

       God can't force the love on you. God can nudge you, but denial is a very powerful force.  As long as you're in denial about truth and full of fear and selfishness, even God himself cannot make you realize that it's all love.  You have to open your mind and let go of fear, hurt, frustration, bitterness and forgive yourself and others.  Then you will make yourself whole and you'll realize love.  That's the point of awakening.

Edited September 14, 2021 by FlyingLotus

[FlyingLotus]

Edited November 8, 2021 by FlyingLotus