Actualized.org Video Summaries!

[AleksM]

Emotional Intelligence

The 1# factor of successful people is high EQ (Emotional Quotient) and not IQ (Intelligent Quotient).

Wrong Assumption: People who are smart and who have high IQ are able to get stuff done. 

That's usually not the case because they get stuck in their head and lose touch with emotions.

Emotions are what really creates success in life.

Emotional intelligence is your ability to work with emotions.

What EQ is not:

• sociability
• being a confident extrovert

Definition of emotional intelligence: 

"the ability to recognize and understand your emotions, in yourself and in others, and your ability to use this awareness to manage your behaviour and your relationship”.

4 Pillars of emotional intelligence:

1. ability to understand your own emotions, being able to label your emotions
2. ability to control your emotions 
3. ability to read emotions in other people (empathy)
4. ability to manage your relationships

 

Notes on Pillars:

1. Pillar: having more awareness there (being self-aware and conscious)....a broader range of emotions
2. Pillar: to be able to discipline yourself, control yourself, so you’re not having those crashes and ecstatic peaks, but you’re somewhere in the middle. To manage emotions to channel into your work, or the habits you’re trying to instill in your life, like your diet or your gym
3. Pillar: It’s your ability to understand what other people are experiencing and feeling, being able to relate to that, your understanding of their point of view. It’s really the ability to step into somebody else’s shoes and look at life or a situation from their perspective.
4. Pillar: How smooth are your relationships going for you? How well are you communicating and interacting within them?

Effects of EQ:

• anger management.  - being able to manage your anger well
• accountability.  Responsibility, ownership and not blaming others. Self-honesty and honesty with others. 
• assertiveness and confidence:  - Good and effective communication
• stress tolerance: Minimizing stress, anxiousness, negative thoughts, judgement and guilt 
• decision making: Being a strong decision maker and not waffling all the time, making a decision and then going back, and going forward, and going back, and going forward... Or not being able to decide between two things for a long time, 
• flexibility: Being able to flow with life and handle the challenges and situations that are coming up. Or are you very rigid and set in your ways, and everything is bumping into you and causing all sorts of pain and suffering? That’s a sign of low EQ.
• presentation skills: How well are you able to give a presentation, to speak, to convince people, to motivate and inspire people?
• listening skills: How good of a listener are you? Are you able to really listen to what people are telling you? Are you able to understand it, to really empathize with it? Are you able to then show them, reflect back to them that you did understand? Do people think you’re a good listener? Or do people think you’re a poor listener? If you’re a poor listener, that’s tied to low EQ.

If you always have negative emotions, you have low EQ. (You’re not recognizing them in yourself, first and foremost, but then you also don’t have tools and strategies for how to manage them.)

more so than IQ, EQ is highly developable (meditate to reduce stress and journal to understand them better...)

Homework:

Find out if you have low or high EQ through surveys (online or in books)

 

[AleksM]

What Is The Point Of Life?

 An Advanced, Life-Changing Explanation

Pasted from youtube user: Thomas Vanhuysse

Short answer: Creation!

The problem of rationally trying to answer the question: "What is the point of life?"

Leo starts out by denying an objection that people from the materialist paradigm might come up with: "Reality is just arbitrary." It is just this physical, rigid system.

Life is not dumb, it is not accidental, it is not coincidental, it is not arbitrary. Life is intelligent and designed. You need to step out of your ego mind and rational mind to appreciate the brilliance of reality and the design behind it.

What is the point of the Universe? (macro-level)

The Universe is an infinite singularity: An infinite amount of dimensions, an infinite field of consciousness. It is completely self-aware and alive. It is all-loving and creative. It is God. The Universe subdivided itself into an infinite number of parts because there is ultimately no distinction between a division and a unity, it is all one. All possible subdivisions are already contained within the Universe and always have been. There is only one ultimate Reality, containing within it an infinite amount of sub-realities. It is radically all-encompassing, if you will.

The only one thing the Universe can do, for all of eternity, is explore itself. Remember that the Universe is not dumb, it is vibrantly alive! It can desire! It desires constantly to know itself. It does this through your human life and an infinite number of other experiences. The only way in which the Universe can know or be itself, which are ultimately the same, is by living through every single infinite amount of possibilities. All there are within the Universe is an infinite number of perspectives. The point of the universe is to live through every single one of them in order to know and to be itself.

 

 - The point of the Universe is itself.

 - The point of the Universe is for God to simply be Itself.

 - The point of the Universe is to experience all the parts and teh whole of Itself.

 - The point of the Universe is for God to experience itself being a creator.

 - The point of the Universe is God realization. For God to awaken to Itself.

 - The point of the Universe is for God to create Itself and to love Itself.

 - The point of the Universe is unity through division.

 

What is the point of your human life? (micro-level)

 - The point of your human life is to realize that you are God.

 - The point of your human life is to realize that you created all of this, but that you forgot.

 - The point of your human life is to realize your own magnitude.

 - The point of your human life is to Love yourself.

 - The point of your human life is to become God-like.

 - The point of your human life is to be a consciouss creator.

 - The point of your human life is to conquer fear through unconditional Love.

 - The point of your human life is to embody Love and Goodness.

 - The point of your human life is to inspire others through your example.

 - The point of your human life is to experience the duality.

 - The point of your human life is to experience every moment fully.

 - The point of your human life is to help others to awaken.

 - The point of your human life is to evolve your consciousness.

 - The point of your human life is to align your will with the will of God.

 - The point of your human life is to create the most beautiful creation possible.

 - The point of your human life is to choose and define who you want to be.

"Consciousness has devided itself and it seeks to reunify with itself. This cycle goes on forever. You have an infinite number of lives, and you cannot die." […] "You have nothing to lose in this process. There is no possibility of failure."

OBJECTIONS:

"Life is meaningless!"

Life is meaningless, but that is not to be confused with nihilism, depression, lack of inspiration and motivation, negativity… Being is prior to meaning and it is much more profound. The point of anything is itself. Human life has a deliberate design. It's part of a greater whole of which you might say it does have a function, a meaning.

"I thought that nothing mattered?"

Nothing matters, yet God must still be God. It must still experience itself. That is what it means for God to be God. Ultimately, Creation does not matter. That's why God creates. It creates for the joy and delight of Creation.

"Isn't this religious dogma?"

No. Verify the Truth for yourself.

"How could you possibly know all this?"

Through mystical experiences, contemplation, deep study and research of spiritual scriptures and books. Through intuition and direct consciousness of God.

All the answers about life you come up with are ultimately your own imagination. But everything within Creation is imagination!

"What if you're deluded?"

What is the alternative…? Any alternative you give is also just a point of seeing the world. So do the spiritual practices and see for yourself if you are God.

"isn't this contradictory to life-purpose?"

No. Life-purpose is a practical human realization about what you are passionate about as an indivdual.

"Can I fail at life?"

No. Death is an illusion. You are immortal. All roads ultimately lead to Nirvana. Don't rush to enlightenment for the sole purpose of trying to avoid failure. As explained earlier: there is no failing this game.

"I just want to escape this life and suffering. Why don't I just kill myself?"

If you do, you'll escape to Nirvana. Eventually, however, you'll want to polarize yourself again and reincarnate. Where you are right now is the perfect place where you need to be. When you die, you will be here.

"Isn't this an ego driven explanation of the point of life?

No. It's an explanation of the design or architecture of life.

"Doesn't enlightenment mean there is nothing to do? You make it seem as though there is stuff to do."

If you want, you can do nothing. Enlightenment doesn't say anything about what you should or should not do in your life. It is simply the realization that you are ther Creator. Then, you can choose what you can create. There are no "Should's" within the Universe unless you create them yourself!

"This explanation of the point of life isn't in line with what I heard or believe."

Spirituality is a broad concept and certain people will use certain words to explain certain things. It is a complex phenomenon.

"Isn't reality perfect? So then why does it need improvement?"

This is a simplistic notion of non-duality. From the absolute perspective, this is true, yet practically you can consciously choose to improve your creations.!

[AleksM]

Here is a list of all the youtube videos.

[x] - summary is done

[] - summary is not done or missing

The first 200 videos have transcripts in the video section of actualized.org, but we still miss almost all of the summaries from the first 200 videos.

If you want to contribute to this thread, select one of the videos that still need a summary and post it here. 

1. [x]How to Invest In Yourself
2. []Why Life Coaching Works
3. [x]Be Different to Be Successful
4. []Get Coached
5. [x]Inner Game of Career Development
6. [x]The Most Interesting Problem in Philosophy and Science
7. []How I Lost 65 Pounds in 5 Months
8. [x]Understanding Resistance
9. []Mastery
10. [x]Work Less to Accomplish More
11. [x]What's the Worst That Can Happen?
12. []What a Roman Emperor Can Teach You About Happiness
13. []The Number One Reason Why You're Not Succeeding
14. []The Problem of Self-Control
15. []The Art of Solving Problems Permanently
16. []How You Must Think About Failure
17. []Life Purpose - Critical Points For Finding Your Life Purpose
18. []As Good As Your Life Will Ever Get
19. []How to Delegate to Your Subconscious Mind
20. []Garbage In, Garbage Out - Watch Your Information Intake
21. []The $100 Million Dollar Question
22. []Positive vs Negative Motivation
23. []How To Transform Your Entire Life
24. []Personal Development Blueprint - Intro - Actualized.org
25. []Personal Development - The Ultimate Vision of What You Can Be
26. []Life Purpose - The Thrill of Creative Contribution
27. []Success & Creativity - Why You Should Be More Schizophrenic
28. []Personal Development - How Your Mind is Like a Rider Atop an Elephant
29. []Personal Development - Tips About How to Give Advice
30. []Create an Exciting Life - Your 5 Proudest Moments Exercise
31. []Happiness & Success - Should You Work on Strengths or Weaknesses?
32. []Personal Development - Professional vs Hobbiest
33. []Personal Development Blueprint - Mission Statement
34. []Personal Development Blueprint - Charged Life
35. []Personal Development Blueprint - Top 5 Feelings
36. []Personal Development Blueprint - Eliminate Addictions
37. []How to Make Your Life Extraordinary - Actualized.org
38. []How to Do Real Personal Development
39. []Personal Development Blueprint - Meditation
40. []How To Become Successful - The Secrets That Everyone Overlooks
41. []How To Get More Energy - An Approach Nobody Ever Talks About
42. []How To Make A Guy Fall In Love With You - What Guys Really Want
43. []How To Make A Girl Fall In Love With You - What Girls Really Want
44. []How To Make More Money - Increase Your Income In Career or Business
45. []How To Become A Life Coach - Every Part of the Process Revealed inDetail
46. []Benefits of Meditation - Top Reasons To Start Meditating Right Now
47. []How To Overcome Shyness - Transform Yourself Into An Extrovert
48. []What Is The Purpose Of Life? - Use Purpose to Achieve Massive Success
49. []How To Motivate Employees - Creating Ultra-Productive Workers
50. []How To Feel Happy - Scientifically Proven Ways of Creating Lasting Happiness
51. []Productivity Strategies - Are You Prolific?
52. []How To Increase Your Results From Self-Help Products by 10x
53. []Personal Development Blueprint - Information Intake
54. []New Years Resolutions - How Getting Back On Track Is A Huge Opportunity
55. []Self Expression - How To Express Yourself & Find Your Authentic Creative Voice
56. []How to Be Happy in Life - Happiness Bottlenecks
57. []Overcoming Fear - How To Slay Your Greatest Demon
58. [x]Sensitivity - Why Personal Development Is Impossible For You Right Now
59. [x]How To Never Quit - The Key To Reframing The Toughtest Obstacles
60. []How Your Subconscious Holds You Back From Greatness
61. []Negative Thoughts - The Origin Of Negative Thinking & How To Eliminate It Forever
62. []How To Succeed In Life - The 6 Key Elements of Phenomenal Success
63. []Fear Of Public Speaking - The One Key To Overcoming It Forever
64. []How To Change Your Life - Making BIG Life Changes Actually Stick
65. []Fear Of Failure - Why We Have It & How To Deal With It
66. []How To Change Careers - Dealing With The Fear & Transitioning Smart
67. []How To Stay Focused - The Key To Being Extremely Productive & ClearMinded
68. []Resume Writing Tips - The Secret Mindset For Writing a Perfect Resume
69. []How To Stay Motivated To Lose Weight - The Psychology of Weight Loss Success
70. []How To Stop Worrying - The Fundamentals of Eliminating Worry
71. []How To Change The World - What It Takes To Have Massive Social Impact
72. [x]Personal Power - How Personal Power Creates Success
73. []SMART Goal Setting - How to Set Extremely Effective Goals
74. []The Subconscious Mind - Using Your Subconscious Mind to Create Massive Success
75. []What Is Ego - How Your Ego Dictates Your Entire Life
76. []How To Get Motivated - Creating a Consistent Drive for High Performance
77. []The Law Of Attraction - How It Really Works & How To Use It
78. []How To Stop Procrastinating - A Step-by-Step Process For Busting The Worst of Procrastination
79. []How To Be More Confident - A Step-by-Step Process for Becoming Truly Confident
80. []Self Actualization - The Most Inspiring Self-Help Concept Of All Time
81. []Positive Affirmations - The Tricks of Using Affirmations to Transform Your Life
82. []What Should I Do With My Life - How To Find Your Passion For Life
83. []Peak Performance - How To Hit and Maintain Consistent Peak Performance In Life
84. []How To Stay Healthy - The Psychology of Maintaining Consistent, Effortless Health
85. []Overcoming Adversity - How To Handle The Most Horrific Life Challenges Ever
86. []How To Become A Vegetarian - Practical Steps You Must Take To Succeed
87. []How To Control Anger - The Shocking Truth Behind Your Anger Problems
88. []Positive Psychology - What Is It & How It Can Transform Your Life
89. []Self Control - How To Develop Self-Control To Create An Amazing Life
90. []How To Relieve Stress - Scientifically Proven Stress Relief Techniques
91. []How To Be Attractive - The Ultimate Attraction Strategy
92. []Why Am I Depressed? - The Shocking Truth Behind Your Depression
93. []Profound Quotes #001 - "All Of Humanity's Problems Stem From Man's..."
94. []True Vision - I Reveal My Life Purpose Until You Can Feel It
95. []Willpower - Scientifically Proven Techniques to Increase Willpower
96. []Redefining Philosophy - How To Become A Jedi Master
97. []How To Become Rich - The Number One Reason You're Not Already Rich
98. []Mindfulness - How To Actually Practice Mindfulness & Conquer Your Emotions
99. []Profound Quotes #002 - "Specialization Is For Insects"
100. []What Is Happiness? - An Extremely Advanced Definition Of Happiness
101. []Self Image - The Amazing, Absolute Key To All Personal Growth
102. [x]How To Stay Committed To A Cause
103. []Introvert vs Extrovert - A Deep Understanding Of Introverts And Extroverts
104. [x]How To Eat Healthy - Create A Super Healthy Meal In 15 Minutes
105. []How To Be A Man - The Deep Core Of Being Masculine
106. []Positive Thinking - The Key To Thinking Positive
107. []Healthy Relationships - What You MUST Know To Sustain A Great Relationship
108. []Dream Life - What It Takes To Create An Extraordinary Life
109. []Best Supplements - What You Must Know About Supplementation
110. []Optimism - How To Become Optimisitic Right Now
111. []Letting Go Of The Past - How To Get Over The Past In Minutes
112. []How To Find Your Passion - Why You Have No Passion & How To Fix It
113. []Critical Thinking - Use Independent Thinking To Build A Powerful Life
114. []How To Motivate Yourself - The Trick Behind Lasting Self-Motivation
115. [x]Emotional Intelligence - Why Your EQ Is More Important Than Your IQ
116. []Cause & Purpose - What Are You Willing To Bleed For?
117. []Id, Ego, Superego - Understanding An Old School Psychology Concept
118. []Self Help - How Self-Help Can Revolutionize Your Entire Life
119. []Life Coaching - The Powerful Benefits Of Working With A Life Coach
120. []How To Start A Business - Bootstrapping A Successful Business
121. []How To Use Technology To Super-Charge Your Personal Growth
122. []Time Management - How To Get More Time In Your Day
123. []State Of The Union - My Camera Dies In Death Valley
124. []The Secret - The Truth They Didn't Tell You
125. []Personal Development Plan - The Essentials Of Getting Results
126. []How To Love Yourself - How To Like Who You Are Right Now
127. []How To Feel Good - Re-Designing Your Life To Feel Amazing
128. []How To Be Yourself - Become Your Authentic Self Right Now
129. [x]True Value - How To Create Success Out Of Nowhere
130. [x]The Power Of Routines - How Your Daily Routine Holds You Back From Your Dreams
131. []Staying Hungry - How To Use Pain For Growth
132. []Relationship Advice - The Master Plan For Creating An Amazing Relationship
133. []How To Become A Millionaire - The Truth No One Tells You
134. []Self Esteem - Understanding & Fixing Low Self-Esteem
135. []Judgment - How You Ruin Your Own Happiness
136. []Profound Quotes #003 - "Children Want Candy; The Intelligent Want SelfControl" - Rumi
137. []Whatever Doesn't Kill You Makes You Stronger - True or False?
138. [x]What Women Want In A Man - 5 Factors That Hook Women Like Crack
139. []How To Make A Girl Squirt - Give Your Girl An Explosive Orgasm
140. []Positive Attitude - The 3 Pillars To Cultivating Positivity
141. [x]How To Exploit People To Grow Yourself - An Advanced Technique
142. []Stress Management - Permanent Solutions For Stress Reduction
143. []Why I'm A Dick - And Why I Won't Change
144. []Goal Setting - How To Set Goals Effectively
145. [x]Bad Relationships - How To Break Your Cycle Of Painful Relationships
146. []Bad Habits - A Live Exercise For Dropping Any Bad Habit For Good
147. []How To Get A Girlfriend - The Ultimate Guide For Landing A Hot Girlfriend
148. []How To Forgive Someone - The One Trick That Makes Forgiveness Easy
149. []Openmindedness - A Huge Overlooked Obstacle To Self Improvement
150. []How To Make Friends - 4 Sticking-Points That Limit Your Ability To Make Friends
151. []Good Vs Evil - Why Evil Doesn't Actually Exist
152. []Communication Skills - The 6 Keys Of Powerful Communication
153. []Low Self Esteem In Women - Why Women Have Lower Self-Esteem Than Men
154. []Visualization - A Powerful Technique For Reprogramming Your Subconscious Mind
155. []Self Confidence - The Two Essential Avenues For Building Confidence
156. []Why Women Use You For Money - And How To Never Get Used Again
157. []Why Men Cheat - And 8 Ways To Keep Your Man Loyal
158. []How To Follow Advice Without Betraying Yourself
159. []How To Master & Control Your Emotions
160. []Negative Visualization - An Ancient Stoic Technique For Creating Happiness
161. [x]How To Stop Being A Victim - The #1 Reason You Are Stuck In Life
162. []Spirituality vs Religion - The No-Bullshit Guide To Spirituality
163. []Self Discipline vs Freedom - How To Create More Freedom In Your Life
164. [x]How To Deal With Depression - The Key To Breaking Out Of Depression
165. []How To Stop Caring What People Think Of You
166. []How Science Keeps You Stuck In Life - Exposing Problems With "Scientific" Thinking
167. []Why Women Fall For Assholes
168. []Understanding The Authentic Self - Discovering Who You Really Are
169. []How To Deal With Difficult & Toxic People
170. []Leo's List of Top 140 Self-Help Books
171. []How To Stop Watching TV - Why You Must Eliminate TV Right Now!
172. []Luck & Success - Is Luck Important For Being Successful?
173. []How To Meditate - The No Bullshit Guide to Meditation
174. []How To Manage Your Money Easily Using This Budget Template
175. []The Biggest Thing You Should Fear - Halloween Special
176. []How To Be An Attractive Man - Interview With Dating Coach, TrippAdvice
177. []How To Stop Being Lazy - Solutions For Short-term & Long-term Laziness
178. []How To Deepen Your Love For Life - A Powerful Exercise
179. []How To Deal With A Breakup
180. []Why The Most Successful People Don't Do Personal Development
181. []How To Have Amazing Sex - Part 1
182. []The Truth About Passive Income
183. []How To Practice Gratitude - Xmas 2014 Special
184. [x]How To Stop Being Jealous - Techniques To End Jealousy Forever
185. []Responsibility vs Blame - Why You Are 100% Responsible For Everything
186. [x]How To Study - The Keys To Acing School & College
187. []Beware Of False Prophets - Stop Worshipping Human Personality
188. []What Is Karma? - The No-Bullshit Explanation Of How Karma Works
189. []Stop Demonizing People! - Why You Are Wrong For Calling Terrorists Evil
190. []Spiritual Enlightenment - The Most SHOCKING Truth You'll Ever Hear
191. []What To Do Next After Learning About Enlightenment
192. []The Happiness Spectrum - The Best & Worst Kinds Of Happiness
193. []Paradoxes Of Personal Development
194. []Spiritual Enlightenment - Part 2 - Understanding The Conceptualized Self
195. []The Secret Curse Of Being Human + Bonus: A True Spiritual Exercise!
196. []How To Have Amazing Sex (For Women) - Drive Your Man Wild In Bed
197. []Enlightenment - Part 3 - Creating An Experience Of No-Self
198. []Enlightenment FAQ - Part 1 - All Your Questions Answered
199. []Enlightenment FAQ - Part 2
200. []All Of Religion Explained In One Video
201. []How To Have Amazing Sex - Part 2 - Increasing Intimacy & Dominance
202. []Understanding Emotions - Part 1
203. []Feminine vs Masculine Compassion
204. []How To Stop Backsliding - How To Stop Procrastinating
205. [x]How To Become Enlightened - The Exact Step By Step Process Revealed!
206. []How To Be A Leader - Leadership Secrets Revealed!
207. []How To Stop Being A Workaholic
208. [x]How To Meditate Deeper
209. []Science vs Religion - The Absurdity Revealed!
210. []How To Create Your Dream Career - The Ultimate Life Purpose Course
211. [x]How To Unleash Your Ambition - Must-Watch For Ambitious People
212. [x]How To Get Shit Done - The Inner Game Of Being A Results-Maker
213. []My Enlightenment Experience - Exactly How It Happened
214. []Lower vs Higher Self - Understanding Your Two-Faced Nature
215. []Using Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs To Self-Actualize
216. []Masculinity vs Femininity - Psychology Of The Male & Female Mind
217. [x]Meditation Techniques: Do Nothing - The Simplest Meditation Possible
218. []Meditation On Steroids - How To Get The FASTEST Meditation Gains
219. []The Grand Model Of Psychological Evolution - Clare Graves & Spiral Dynamics
220. []Being A Spiritual Seeker, Good or Bad?
221. []One Simple Rule For Acing Life
222. []How To Be Funny - Comprehensive Guide To Developing A Sense of Humor
223. []Contemplating Your Own Death - To Stay Motivated For Life
224. []How To Deal With Criticism, Trolls, and Haters
225. [x]Avoiding Dysfunctional & Abusive Relationships - 30+ Red Flags
226. []Advice For High School & College Students - The Keys To Mastering Life
227. []Curing Perfectionism - How To Stop Being A Perfectionist
228. [x]Mindfulness Meditation - A Complete Guide With Techniques & Examples
229. []A Vision For The Self Actualized Life - Get Yo Ass Inspired!
230. []How To Overcome Creative Blocks & Writer's Block
231. []How To Deal With Strong Negative Emotions
232. []Radical Openmindedness - How To Break Free Of Dogma & Beliefs
233. [x]30 Ways Society Fucks You In The Ass
234. [x]How You Lie - All Your Dirty, Sneaky Lies & Manipulations Exposed!
235. [x]40 Signs That You Are Neurotic - Understanding Neurosis
236. []How To Stop Judging Yourself
237. []The Challenges Of Making Bold Life Changes
238. [x]Understanding Awareness - The Staggering Depth Of Your Unawareness Revealed
239. []Free Will vs Determinism - Does Free Will Exist?
240. []A Rant Against The Pickup Community - Must Watch For All PUAs
241. []The Ultimate Model Of Human Knowledge - All Knowledge Explained!
242. [x]The Most Important Commitment You Can Make + Huge Announcement
243. [x]27 Qualities Of All Successful People
244. [x]The Enlightened Self - A Description Of Your Existential Nature
245. [x]Fake Growth vs Real Growth - What If You're Just Tricking Yourself?
246. [x]How To Stop Comparing Yourself To Others
247. [x]How To Be A Strategic Motherfucker - The 7 Pillars Of Strategic Thinking
248. [x]Why Rationality Is WRONG! - A Critique Of Rationalism
249. [x]The Power Of Self Acceptance - How To Stop Beating Yourself Up
250. [x]The Benefits Of Enlightenment
251. [x]3 Step Formula To Be Ruthlessly Effective At Anything
252. [x]Overcoming Addiction - The Root Cause Of Every Addiction
253. [x]How Your Mind Distorts Reality - Needy vs Non-Needy Perception
254. []Enlightenment Guided Inquiry - The Neti Neti Method
255. [x]Grasping The Illusory Nature Of Thought
256. [x]Lifestyle Minimalism - Renouncing Your Busy Stupid Life
257. [x]How To Stop Being A Victim - Part 2 - What All Victims Fail To Understand
258. [x]A Rant Against Morality - Very Foundational
259. [x]How To Stop Moralizing - Removing The SHOULDs From Your Life
260. [x]Meditation For Beginners
261. [x]Awareness Alone Is Curative - How To Auto-Correct Unwanted Behaviors
262. [x]Be Fucking Patient! - How To Deal With Lack Of Results
263. [x]The Psychology Of Small Business Success - Top 5 Errors Of Aspiring Entrepreneurs
264. [x]10 Important Things You Don't Know You Want
265. [x]You're Not Happy Because You Don't Really Want To Be
266. [x]The 3 Levels Of Personal Development Work
267. []The Amazing Power Of Psychedelics - Leo Does Magic Psilocybin Mushrooms!
268. []How To Use Psychedelics For Personal Development
269. []Guided Meditation - The Next Level Of Meditation
270. [x]The Paradox Of Developing Self-Trust
271. []How To Be A Man - Part 2 (Advanced Version)
272. [x]The 64 Most Fascinating Questions A Human Can Ask
273. [x]What's Wrong With Ego?
274. []What Is God? - Leo Becomes Absolute Infinity (Aka God) - All Of Reality Explained
275. []5-MeO-DMT - The Magic Pill To Enlightenment & God
276. [x]Low Quality vs High Quality Consciousness
277. [x]The Dark Side Of Meditation
278. [x]The Mechanics Of Belief
279. [x]How To Harness Your Intuition
280. []The Trap Of Projection, Especially Onto Teachers & Mentors
281. [x]A Rant Against Culture
282. [x]Money Psychology - The Inner Game of Mastering Money
283. []Using 5-MeO-DMT To Become Enlightened - Interview With Martin Ball
284. [x]How To Deal With Confusion
285. [x]Becoming A Sage - A New Vision For Actualized.org & You!
286. []Mystical Traditions Around The World - Nonduality Goes Cosmopolitan!
287. [x]Becoming A Zen Devil - The Dangers Of Half-Assing Enlightenment
288. [x]Uncovering Your Childhood Vows - Unwire Your Neurotic Personality
289. [x]The Pre-mortem Technique - The Trick To Avoiding Project Failure
290. [x]How To Control Anger - Part 2 - Understanding Evil To Death
291. [x]A Rant Against Naive Realism - Reality Is NOT Physical!
292. [x]How I Do Research & Develop Big Picture Understanding
293. []The Launch Of Infinite Insights - Leo's Blog!
294. [x]The Role Of Balance In Personal Development
295. [x]Dropping The Roles You Play
296. []The Gallery Of Absolute Infinity
297. [x]Build Your Infrastructure For Success
298. []AL-LAD Trip Report - A Powerful Tool For Consciousness Work
299. [x]Understanding How Paradigms Work
300. [x]Contemplation - The Most Important Tool For Sages
301. [x]Concentration vs Meditation - How To Develop Concentration
302. [x]The Big Picture Of Self-Actualization
303. [x]True vs False Skepticism
304. []Leo's Super Healthy Blueberry Smoothie
305. [x]The Highest Hero's Journey - What It Means To Be Real Hero
306. []Leo's Super Healthy Vegetable Soup
307. [x]Understanding Default Positions
308. []Leo's Solo Meditation Retreat - 90 Hours Of Nonstop Meditation In The Forest
309. [x]Balancing Theory vs Practice
310. []How To Deal With Loneliness - Especially While Self-Actualizing
311. [x]How To Get Started With Self Actualization - Over 40 Techniques
312. []2C-B Trip Report - Experiencing Physical Death
313. [x]Intro To Systems Thinking
314. [x]Why People Seem Crazy
315. [x]Subtle Addictions
316. []Successful People Are Not Happy
317. []Making Sense Of Paranormal Phenomena & Psychic Powers
318. [x]Understanding Absolute Infinity - Part 1
319. []Understanding Absolute Infinity - Part 2
320. [x]What Is Art? - Understanding The Essence Of Art
321. [x]Setting Proper Expectations
322. []Leo Hits Rock Bottom - EVERYTHING Understood
323. [x]Learning = Behavior Change
324. [x]No Growth Possible Without Training
325. [x]Understanding Meaning, Purpose, & Value
326. []Distraction - The Ego's Favorite Defense Mechanism
327. [x]What Is The Devil? - The Mechanics Of Evil
328. [x]How To Raise Rockstar Kids
329. []Correcting The Stigma Of Psychedelics - Part 1
330. []Learning = Observation
331. []Correcting The Stigma Of Psychedelics - Part 2
332. []The Topic Of Mindfuckery
333. []Advanced Tips For Self-Inquiry
334. [x]Building Your Existential Vocabulary
335. []How To Keep The Ultimate Journal (Commonplace Book) + LIVE DEMO
336. []Comprehension Has Many Degrees
337. [x]Why Brains Do Not Exist
338. []Reality Is A Strange Loop - The Beauty Of Paradox + GRAPHICS
339. []The Theme Of Things Going Full-Circle
340. [x]Motivational Speech For Building A Passionate Life
341. [x]The Deep Problem Of Marketing
342. [x]Jacques Derrida, Deconstruction, Post-Modernism & Nonduality
343. []All Criticism Is Untenable
344. [x]Self-Deception - Part 1
345. [x]Self Deception - Part 2 - 60+ Self-Deception Mechanisms
346. []Enlightenment Experience Happening In Real Time - LIVE!
347. [x]Enlightenment Experience Explanation & Key Lessons
348. [x]Self-Deception - Part 3
349. []Hitler Reacts To Nonduality / Enlightenment - FUNNY!
350. []Life Is A Dream
351. [x]How To Shop For Healthy Food
352. []My Deepest Awakening Yet - Becoming Infinite
353. []The Importance Of Real Yoga
354. []Quantum Mechanics Debunks Materialism - Part 1
355. []Quantum Mechanics Debunks Materialism - Part 2
356. []Comprehending The Magnitude Of Reality
357. []Metaphysical Implications Of Godel's Incompleteness Theorem - Part 1
358. []Understanding Islam - What Most People Misunderstand
359. [x]Shamanic Breathing Technique + LIVE DEMO
360. []Collective Ego - Understanding The Egoic Dynamics Of Social Systems
361. []Going Buddha - 30 Day Meditation Challenge
362. [x]What Is Consciousness? - All Questions Answered
363. []What Is Intelligence? - Infinite Intelligence Explained
364. [x]Spiral Dynamics - Stage Blue
365. [x]Spiral Dynamics - Stage Orange
366. [x]Spiral Dynamics - Stage Green
367. [x]Spiral Dynamics - Stage Yellow
368. [x]Spiral Dynamics - Stage Turquise
369. [x]Understanding Recontextualization
370. []How To Contemplate Using A Journal
371. []Sameness vs Difference - The Metaphysical Foundation Of Reality
372. []How Ideology Works
373. []Life Is A Maze
374. [x]What Is Spirituality? - A No-Bullshit Intro To Spirituality
375. []How To Escape Wage Slavery
376. []Body Awareness - How To Relax Your Body
377. [x]What Is Love? - Advanced Spiritual Explanation
378. [x]35+ Subfields Of Self-Help
379. []What Is Actuality? - Distinguish Direct Experience vs Concept
380. [x]Mankind Is The Bullshitting Animal
381. [x]Nootropics - Top Supplements For Increasing Mental Performance
382. []The Radical Implications Of Oneness (Halloween Edition)
383. [x]65 Core Principles Of Living The Good Life
384. [x]What Is Perception? - The Metaphysics Of Perception
385. []Spiral Dynamics - Important Insights & Nuances
386. [x]The Ten Ox-Herding Pictures - Zen's Stages Of Enlightenment Explained
387. []The Counter-Intuitive Nature Of Life
388. [x]Understanding Ego Backlash
389. [x]Spiral Dynamics - Areas Of Application
390. []How To Do Self-Inquiry
391. [x]Cult Psychology - Part 1 - How Cults Work
392. []Cult Psychology - Part 2 - The Big Picture
393. [x]What Is God? - Part 1 - A No Bullshit Explanation For Smart People
394. [x]What Is God? - Part 2 - Clear Answers To 70+ Commonly Asked Questions
395. []Aztec Nonduality - Profound Life Lessons From Aztec Philosophy
396. []Leaving On 30-Day Solo Retreat
397. []Becoming God - Insights From 13 Back-to-Back Awakenings
398. []Understanding Duality - Part 1 - Master List of 250+ Dualities
399. []Understanding Duality - Part 2 - Scientific Dualities
400. []Understanding Duality - Part 3 - Existential Dualities
401. [x]Life Unfolds In Chapters & Phases
402. [x]The Power Of Asking Questions
403. [x]What Is The Point Of Life? - An Advanced, Life-Changing Explanation
404. [x]Understanding Survival - Part 1 - The Metaphysics Of Being Human
405. [x]Understanding Survival - Part 2 - Advanced Insights About Survival
406. [x]Understanding Relativism - Part 1
407. []What Is Reality? - A Radical Explanation
408. [x]How Authority Works - Where Does Truth Come From? 
409. [x]Conscious Politics - Part 1 - The Deepest Political Analysis You'll Ever Hear
410. [x]Conscious Politics - Part 2 - Foundational Insights About Political Ideology
411. [x]Conscious Politics - Part 3 - The Core Principles Of Conscious Politics
412. [x]Conscious Politics - Part 4 - 100+ Specific Policy Proposals
413. [x]Self-Bias - Why All Worldviews Are So Skewed
414. [x]What Is Truth? - The Definitive Answer
415. [x]The Power Of Letting Go - How To Overcome Clinginess, Attachment, OCD
416. [x]What Is Love? - Part 2 - The Brutal Nature Of Love
417. [x]How Fear Works - Part 1 - The Ultimate Guide To Dealing With Fear
418. [x]How Fear Works - Part 2 - The Ultimate Guide To Dealing With Fear
419. [x]Understanding Impermanence - Why Reality Is Always Changing
420. []Announcement - Actualized.org Launching On Patreon + Vision For The Future
421. [x]The Many Facets Of Awakening - List of Top 30 Enlightenment Insights
422. [x]How Corruption Works
423. []The Dangers Of Spiritual Work
424. [x]How To Discover What's True - A Deep Inquiry
425. []Content vs Structure - Going Meta Is A Super-power
426. [x]What Is Death? - How Immortality Works
427. []Self-Love - The Highest Teaching In The Universe
428. [x]Division vs Unity - The Engine That Runs Reality
429. []Why Reality CANNOT Be A Simulation - A Clear Answer
430. []Reproduction Is An Illusion - Why It Doesn't Matter If You Have Kids
431. []Total Awakening Live In Real Time - Part 1
432. []Total Awakening Live In Real Time - Part 2
433. [x]Explicit vs Implicit Understanding
434. []How Psychedelics Work - Making Sense Of Psychedelics
435. []How Society Evolves - Introducing The World Values Survey
436. []I'm Leaving To Pursue Awakening & Healing - March 2020
437. [x]Outrageous Experiments In Consciousness - 30 Awakenings In 30 Days
438. []How Openmindedness Works - Exercises To Open Your Mind
439. [x]Life Advice For Young People - Part 1
440. []How To Forgive Anyone Who Hurt You - A Powerful Trauma Release Exercise
441. []Learning = Making Distinctions - The Secret To Rapid & Deep Learning
442. [x]Life Advice For Young People - Part 2
443. []The Ultimate Structure Of Reality Explained
444. []Understanding Democracy & Authoritarianism

 

[Saupahar]

Free will vs determinism ?does free will exist? Summary please.

[AleksM]

Bad Relationships - How To Break Your Cycle Of Painful Relationships

dysfunctional intimate relationships, whether it’s a marriage, or long term girlfriend/boyfriend situation, or even a short term girlfriend/boyfriend situation.

3 Levels, from the lowest to the highest

Codependency:

• This is where you are at if you have problems with your relationship, and you keep getting bad relationships
• Dependent on each other.
• You guys can’t be independently happy, but you can be happy together. (It never really lasts.)
• Leaning on each other for support, using each other as emotional crutches.
• You just need your needs desperately met.
• A codependent person can only stay in a relationship with another codependent person.
• A codependent person is never going to be able to stay in a relationship with an independent person.

Independent:

• confident and grounded individuals
• they come together and have an independent relationship.
• They don’t synergise.
• It’s simply just independence, they’re sharing some stuff together, but it’s not really the synergistic relationship.

Interdependent relationship:

• This is where two come together, and then they perform almost like a choreographed ballet, where they start moving in sync, and a synergy effect happens, and really, something awesome flourishes that’s greater than the sum of its parts.
• Interdependence is really just independence of two people, then deciding to do a really nice choreography together.

You can move out of codependency and into independency. Once you’re independent, then you can start to have nice relationships.

Look Inside

• You are choosing to be in this relationship
• there are deep personality flaws within both individuals in this relationship. There individuals are not willing to address these flaws.
• The problem is in you.

The pattern of bad relationships is going to keep repeating until your psyche has a gap/ void in it. You need to fill that void with something, and that other person is doing it for you. That’s why you’re hooked. You’re addicted to that other person, so you keep coming back even though you know this relationship is not healthy.

Once you get honest with yourself, once you really get fed up with this recurring pattern of bad relationships then you’re going to tell yourself “OK, what can I really do to take responsibility?” 

Once you’re at that point, then you have to ask yourself “OK, what is the real void I’m trying to fill? Why am I so needy?"

That usually comes down to one of these five things.

1. money
2. sex
3. love
4. companionship
5. support, emotional support or other forms of support

One of these things is going to be the cause of your neediness and your codependency. 

When you’re independent, you don’t really need love. You want it, but if you don’t get it it’s OK. 

Step 1: Identify one of these gaps — let’s say that your gap is love

Step 2: then you have to look back and see where does this gap come from. (past, from your childhood or early adulthood.)

probably what happened was that you weren’t getting enough love. Maybe your parents got divorced when you were young.Maybe some sort of traumatic situation happened, or you have some self-esteem issues, or insecurities. 

You feel that you’re deficient in some way. You need something to come in and fill the void. What’s you’ve been doing your whole life, especially in your dating life and your intimate relationships, is that you’ve been looking for the person who’s going to fill that void.

What you were really looking for is an external solution to an internal problem.The problem is that when you find an external solution to an internal problem, then you’re even more dependent on it.

The nice thing about doing that trace is that it gets you more awareness, more consciousness, so that you’re not acting as unconsciously in the future, in your relationship

• You are the cause of your own relationship problems, not the other person. You have to bite this bullet and admit it.
• The gap is not going to go away just because you change relationships.

a happy, successful relationship that has a chance of continuing on the long run is a relationships that has a ratio of five to one of positive to negative interactions.That means for every five good things that happen in a relationship, one bad thing happens.

How many negative looks they give each other? How many positive looks? How many loving looks? How much positive conversation is going on versus negative? How many fights are there relative to all the good stuff that’s supposed to be happening in a relationship?

• if you’re in a codependent relationship, then you’ve got to break it off. When you break it off, you have to break it off cold. (you’ve got to endure a little bit of pain to grow yourself and move on to the next stage. )

Make sure you don’t come back to that person. Then, when you’re off on your own, you’re going to have time to reflect, to ruminate, to really introspect, to do this tracing back activity, to find out what are the real codependency problems within you that are causing this pattern.

[AleksM]

Profound Quotes #003 - "Children Want Candy; The Intelligent Want Self-Control" - Rumi

 

‘The intelligent want self-control; children want candy.’ ~ Rumi

The reason that people are not getting what they want in life is because they are behaving like children and they are after stimulation, excitement and pleasure, whereas what is truly important to be after is self-control.

This can manifest in all sorts of ways. It can manifest in very, very unhealthy dysfunctional ways or it can manifest in more healthy ways, but either way it’s still the search for candy, for stimulation.

Example of a Spectrum of stimulation and pleasure:

1. heroin
2. cocaine
3. marijuana
4. alcohol
5. partying
6. video games
7. television
8. sex
9. food
10. relationships
11. gym
12. trying to get a good job

So you’ve got this spectrum of activities that you’re doing from the very beginning here with the heroin addict, which is a completely dysfunctional, basically completely shit life. It’s basically leading towards an early death Then you’re kind of moving your way up, slightly better, slightly better, slightly better forms of stimulus seeking until you get to this end which is maybe pursuing a really nice career which on the surface it’s very hard to fault someone for doing that, but in the end all of this stuff what you’re doing is you’re looking for a hit. You’re Simply After Candy

"So you get caught into that trap, but in the end what is the difference between someone who is seeking a marriage as an outlet for happiness and fulfillment versus someone who is seeking heroin for that same reason? In the end there’s not much fundamental difference. It’s still the same thing. What you’re looking for is you’re looking for something outside yourself to make you happy."

The wise want self-control. The wise want self-mastery

There is no chance for me to be happy if I:

• don’t control myself and my impulses
• my emotions and thoughts
• don't understand myself on a very deep level not just intellectually but also practically

Where you ultimately want to be is you want to be in a place of happiness, just quiet, sober contentment with your life. Undisturbed, unreacted, unfrantic. Just very calm, very peaceful with what is. 

You want to have tranquility and serenity. You want to be okay with how the world is.

[NoIdentity]

How society evolves, introducing the WVS

The World Values Survey (WVS) is a global research project about people’s values and beliefs, how they change over time and what social and political impact they have.

It measures and analyzes:

Support for democracy

Tolerance of foreigners and ethnic minorities

Support for gender equality

The role of religion and changing levels of religiosity

The impact of globalisation,

Attitudes towards the environment, work, family, politics, national identity, culture, diversity and insecurity

Subjective well being 

 

The World Values Survey has demonstrated that people’s beliefs play a key role in economic development, the emergence and flourishing of democratic institutions, the rise of gender equality and how effective government is in societies.

 

Values are classified into categories:

Traditional: Emphasize the importance of religion, parent-child ties, deference to authority and traditional family values. People who hold these values reject divorce, abortion, euthanasia. These societies often have a high amount of national pride and a nationalistic outlook/worldview.

Secular-rational: Less emphasis on religion, traditional family values and authority. In these societies it’s more about independent thinking and rationality. Divorce, abortion, euthanasia, etc. are seen as more acceptable.

 

Survival: Emphasis on economic and physical security, linked with an ethnocentric outlook, low levels of trust and tolerance, high corruption and authoritarian styles of government. These countries are closer to poverty and basic survival is more difficult.

Self-Expression: A high priority on environmental protection, a growing tolerance for foreigners, LGBTQ and gender equality, rising demands in participation in decision making in economic and political life. These countries tend to be more democratic, the basic needs are met.

 

Traditional values are contrasted with Secular-rational values and Survival values are contrasted with Self-Expression values.

The less developed countries are more traditional and survival oriented in their values. These are the lower stage of Spiral Dynamics (Purple, Red, Blue). The more developed countries are more secular-rational and self-expressive. These are Spiral Dynamics stages Orange, Green, Yellow (and above).

 

What is culture?

A culture is a set of learned behaviours that constitutes a society’s survival strategy. What’s special about humans, is that we create our environment. We innovate, build and create physical and social environments, which alter our culture. Our environment is never static and thus culture is always changing and evolving. Our values change based on cultural changes. 

 

Children are programmed with culture for the first 20 years of their lives. Their minds gets imprinted with the culture they grow up in. Your parents, education, peers, etc. shape the way you view the world. Then the rest of their lives they act out that program. By the time people reach adulthood, their basic values usually stay about the same.

 

The norms governing the survival strategy usually change very slowly, often persisting for centuries, but they can change rapidly under certain conditions. Even though fashions change quickly, basic values tend to change slowly through intergenerational population replacement with multi-decade time lags. When the old generation dies, the cultural values die with it. This makes room for new values. It takes a long time to change basic values, because a new generation has to be born and grow up, and the old one has to die off. 

 

How these values are established:

Survival drives everything. Your worldview isn’t based on truth and isn’t chosen. Instead, you adopt the values that support your survival needs and the values that your culture (environment) holds. Your beliefs and values are mostly dictated by the survival situation that you grew up in. People all over the world face different survival challenges and thus have different values and worldviews that accommodate their survival. Every part of the world has a different climate, different threats to humans (animals etc.), different weather and opportunities (farming, fishing, foraging, agriculture). The culture adapts to all of these types of conditions to be an optimal strategy for survival.

 

Security vs. Insecurity: 

The feeling that the world is secure or insecure is an early-established and relatively stable aspect of one’s outlook. When people are insecure, they give top priority to materialistic goals. 

 

People’s psyche is heavily influenced by the way they grew up. If there wasn’t enough food as a child, that’s something you’ll carry with you into adulthood and that affects your priorities and needs. There’s a huge difference between growing up and knowing that survival is insecure, and growing up taking survival for granted. 

 

Individuals under stress yearn for rigid, predictable rules. They want to be sure of what’s going to happen because survival is precarious and their margin for error is slender. Conversely, people raised under conditions of relative security can tolerate more ambiguity and have less need for the absolute and rigid rules that religions provide. People with relatively high levels of existential security can more readily accept deviations from familiar patterns than people who are uncertain that their survival needs will be met.

 

In Westernized, more developed countries, survival needs (base layers of Maslow's hierarchy) are taken care of, and we have other needs like democracy and more self-expressive values. In countries which are still developing, democracy won’t work, because they're still trying to handle their base survival needs. This has nothing to do with race, but rather with geographical and historical factors. Survival in deserts or tropical places is harder than in the west. People there face more disease, wild animals, floods, etc. Development is relative on all the factors involved and environment.

 

As society evolves, we move out of insecurity and materialistic values like food, shelter, water, etc. and have room for more abstract values like justice, equality, democracy etc.

 

Leadership and Government:

Under conditions of insecurity, people may readily submit to authoritarian rule.

People in developing countries tend to vote for more authoritarian leaders, tirants and autocrats. When your society is under threat, by for example war, you’ll gladly take a strong leader who will ensure your survival, rather than one who  advocates abstract values like free speech and equality. Democracy is a luxury which comes at later stages of development, when survival is taken care of and there’s room for self-expression values. 

 

The survival conditions require a strong leader, and installing democracy in such places will only lead to more chaos (see middle-eastern invasion). Democracy doesn’t work without having a foundation of strong rules, like having laws that protect your life and property. If there is no court and there are no laws, people will fight with each other to resolve conflict. Once there are laws and measures to ensure those laws (i.e. police, court) we can have unintimidated voters who can be educated and vote responsibly.

Threats increase the need for strong normans and punishment of deviant behaviour to maintain order. Tight societies have autocratic governing systems that suppress dissent; provide strong deterrence and control of crime, and tend to be more religious, Nations that encountered severe ecological and historical threats have relatively strong normans and low tolerance for deviant behaviour. 

 

Submission to authority has high costs: the individual's personal goals must be subordinated to those of others. Under conditions of insecurity people are willing to do so. Under threats of invasion, civil war, or economic collapse, people tend to seek strong military figures who can protect them from danger. Conversely, prosperity and security are conducive to tolerance of diversity. This helps explain a long-established finding: rich societies are much likelier to be democratic than poor ones. The more corrupt a country, the less democracy there is.

 

All of the low-income and lower-middle-income societies fall into the lower-left-hand zone (Traditional + Survival values).

 

Traditional values and Acceptance: 

Low-income societies remain solidly opposed to gender equality and tolerance of gays.

 

In a low income society, maintaining a strong family unit is important for survival. Traditional family values are in place. Everyone has a role. The woman takes care of the kids and household, and the man supports the family financially, and works. It is arranged that way to survive (men have biologically more brute strength than women). When society evolves to a higher level of development, the roles aren’t as static, because technology equalizes the physical differences in strength between men and women. There is more tolerance for gay marriage, because having many (if any) children isn’t necessary for survival of your bloodline.

 

In underdeveloped countries, your children are your safety net. Once you’re old, they are the ones who will take care of you, because the government won’t do so. Since there is not social security, having 8 children is your social security.

 

In developed countries, you will be taken care of through your retirement funds and there are retirement homes, so you don’t need children. 

 

Religion:

People who experience threats to themselves and their families or their community during their formative years tend to be far more religious than those who grew up under safer and predictable conditions. 

 

Religion binds people into a tribe and keeps people aligned. It provides collective values, which protect the tribe against insider threats (tribal warfare) and provides a protection against outsiders. When we’re together, we’re strong and we can fend off invaders. Strong rules are necessary to get everyone to comply.

 

Religion is one of the strongest forces that unifies people under a certain umbrella of values. It helps to set up a moral system that people can agree upon, which is why it plays a huge survival function. Religion is a very power device to create a proto legal system. Without it, people wouldn’t agree on what’s right and wrong. It prevents tribal warfare, because it unifies people under one value system, which creates a country. 

 

To evolve out of religion, a new level of development is needed. You need to shed the old survival strategies and build upon them to get to new ones. You have to recognize the limitations of your current stage to transcend it and evolve to the next one.

 

Survival vs. Self-Expression values:

The shift from Survival values to Self-expression values also includes a shift in child-rearing values, from emphasis on hard work toward emphasis on imagination and tolerance as important values to teach children. This is a good test to gauge a person’s or countries level of development. 

 

Parents who push their children to study hard and become doctors, lawyers, etc. come from a background of poverty. These parents are afraid that their children will end up in poverty and try to prevent that. It’s difficult for them to accept their children's aspirations towards self-expressive careers, like philosophers and artists, because survival trumps everything, and the parents are still in a survival oriented mindset. For them a high paying job equals survival (no poverty), these parents are just looking out for their children. They tend to miss the fact that conditions change and that you can make a great living in artistic careers nowadays.

 

People who emphasize survival values tend to be less satisfied with their lives and less happy than people with self-expression values.

 

Economic development brings systematic changes in a society’s beliefs and values. 

When societies move from survival values to self-expression values, overall happiness levels increase. Survival isn’t very satisfying. The true satisfaction is in self-expression and life purpose. This has however a caveat: After a certain point returns start to diminish. More wealth doesn’t equal to more happiness for developed countries with a good economy. 

 

The developing countries get a big increase in happiness as wealth goes up and economy increases, but richer countries don’t. Once you have your basic needs met, chasing more money and luxury isn’t going to lead to more fulfillment. Then, fulfillment comes from self-actualisation, spirituality and contribution to society. 

 

Progression, Regression and backlash:

Repressing Tradition values through government doesn’t work, because skipping stages leads to regression later on in the developmental process. If a stage isn’t TRULY transcended, it will creep back up later on.

 

Regressive nationalist movements are collective ego backlash. Because we are progressing so quickly to keep up with our technological evolution, a lot of people (often older generations) are being left behind and are getting scared (new technology, what if I lose my job?).

 

Culture and society is always progressing forward, even if it doesn’t seem that way in the moment due to temporary setbacks. Reality is progressing and evolving towards higher consciousness, unity, complexity and love.

 

National identity:

People are more identified with their nationality and similarities feel way stronger with people of the same nationality. A woman from India relates more to a man from India, than a woman from India to a woman from Russia. This is because each country has its own education system that indoctrinates/teaches children (with) a set of values, which define the country. This is due to different levels of development and education. It is more accurate to divide people by their values than any other traits like gender and income status.

 

Islamic (and other) fundamentalists see Western culture as something to guard against. The older people’s egos are clinging to traditions and trying to preserve them. It’s a backlash against secularisation, because they view secularisation as a collapse of society and as a threat. When they grew up, religion was the binding force for keeping society together, ensuring survival and giving life meaning. They now see others trying to remove those religious elements from society as something negative. It is a fear based reaction, stemming from insecurity and the lack of understanding of social evolution. 

 

Insights from WVS data:

Human values evolve in predictable ways. There are clear trends where all countries are going towards: More self-expression and rational-secular values.

The largest increase in basic survival happens from agrarian to industrial societies. Industrialisation is an important event that corresponds in the shift to secular-rational values.

Survival to Self-expression values come with increase in individual agency. Modern societies make individualism possible, in underdeveloped societies, individualism is impossible. 

The largest increase in individual agency comes with the advancement from industrial societies to knowledge based societies. This produces the largest shift in Self-expression values. In a knowledge-based society, being educated becomes more important, and with being more educated comes the desire for self-expression. Life transcends being purely physical and becomes more intellectual.

Democracy is driven by Self-expression values, not the other way around. To install a democracy in a country, a shift from Survival to Self-expression values is needed. After that shift democracy will naturally flourish. If you remove a dictator and install democracy first, the people’s values haven’t changed, so they will install another dictator or cause tribal warfare.

The strongest emphasis on traditional and survival values is found in Islamic societies of the Middle East.

The strongest emphasis on secular-rational and self-expression values is found in Northern Europe.

Desire for democracy is universal. Once countries develop they will move towards a democracy with ‘Western values’.

The higher your education, the younger your generation, and the less survival threats you face, the more liberal you are. In general conservatives are less educated, older and face more survival threats. 

 In low-income societies, a better economy leads to massive increases in happiness. In high-income societies, more democracy and self-expression leads to more happiness.

 

How societies evolve:

Human societies go from hunting and gathering to horticultural (raising animals on a small scale), then from agrarian to industrial, and then from industrial to postindustrial (knowledge and service based economy). 3 era’s: Pre-industrial, Industrial, Post-industrial.

 

As more people come together without being educated (manual laborers/workers), they need to be organised by some higher force. This is when brute force comes in. These are countries with totalitarian regimes, autocratic leaders, tiranies and dictatorships. 

 

Once your population becomes large enough, it needs more and more bureaucracy. Bureaucrats need to be educated, so education of the population becomes necessary and schools emerge. The most educated people rise to the top of society. Better organisation leads to better economic efficiency: more trading, opportunity for technology, etc. Once education is a norm, basic survival needs are easy to take care of and at this point enough social infrastructure is built up to manage the society, which leads to a shift in Self-expression values. Now people are more socially connected, so they want civil rights and a say in what happens in the government. This is when democracy emerges. With higher education comes more critical thinking, which leads the fall of religion and the shift to rationality. People start to question old dogma’s and traditions and see their flaws. This is when science flourishes. Xenophobia, elitism, nationalism, sexism and racism decline, because the cause of those was fear and insecurity. Once survival is taken care of, we don’t need to protect ourselves and fight for survival, because we feel more secure. We are moving from fear to love. 

 

Fundamentalist movements break out as a collective ego backlashes to try and return back. This is especially visible in places in society where people are less educated and aren’t being propelled as quickly (older people who aren’t being educated or places who don’t experience economic prosperity) tend to get fearful and resentful. Eventually those generations either die out or get used to the change and let go of the past.

 

The success of the previous generation creates the foundation for the next generation to be more liberal and self-expressive. We are standing on the shoulders of giants who came before us and fought for our freedom.

 

The newer and older generations don’t understand each other as well, because the prior generations are still wary of the old survival threats. The fears of events that they witnessed are still wired into their brains. Take for example the backlash on elements of Socialism, which conservatives (often boomers) associate with the Soviet Communism tragedy.

 

Notice that when your opposition to something comes from a deep place of insecurity, that it is a problem. Survival threats change., society is not static. Development goes on and things that didn’t work before can potentially work now, because evolution is going towards higher levels of consciousness.

 

Society is a collective memory bank, storing and passing on lessons from each generation to the next. We are adding layers upon our civilisation. We are growing  like a tree: each ring representing a generation. The key is to see this dynamic from a big picture and not get attached to any generation or set of values, survival strategies or culture. 

 

When older generations cling to power and avoid the newer generations from making change, the stifle growth and constipate the system. This is the value of death: It makes room for change and evolution.

 

One of our current problems is that the older generations have most of the positions of power and hold most the wealth of society and don’t care about progress (for example cleaning up the environment and addressing climate change, equality, etc.), because they'll be dead in a few years or decades. Then they deny the upcoming problems, because they don’t recognize the problems that come with development of society (more people = more pollution and trash). They weren’t raised with the same mentality, but the newer generations need change, because it’s necessary for their survival. New times require new survival strategies. 

 

Liberals are more evolved than conservatives, because the trend of society goes from Traditional and Survival to Secular-Rational and Self-expressive values; From Conservative to Liberal. The conservatives of today were liberals of 100 years ago.

 

[Leo Gura]

@NoIdentity Awesome!

[Loving Radiance]

It would be good to have notes on his recent one about requisite variety and creative laziness.

https://www.actualized.org/insights/requisite-variety-and-creative-laziness

[AleksM]

Self Control - How To Develop Self-Control To Create An Amazing Life

 

By mastering yourself, you’re creating more self-control. 

Self-control is being able to:

• discipline yourself
• direct your own life.

 

Self-control leads to:

• stronger relationships, a better love life
• better health
• ridiculous levels of success with your finances
• powerful contribution and impact on the world through the work you do.

Self-control leads to feeling:

• excited, positive, proud, joyful, peaceful

 

Lack of self-control leads to:

• depression
• negative thinking
• worry
• pessimism
• anger
• frustration
• overwhelm

your life’s work is to develop self-control, to develop self-mastery

 Start looking for solutions in the inner world.

we live simultaneously in two worlds

• the outer world of circumstances ( the computer that you’re looking at, the chair you’re sitting in,how much money you have in your bank account, the relationship you’re in or you’re not in, the country you reside in, the city you’re in)
• the inner world of psychology (feelings, thoughts)

what’s going on in here is ultimately what you care about.

Whatever you’re chasing out there, you only care about it because of what it does to you in here. Think about it. That million dollars you want to earn? Yes, you want to have a million dollars, but in the end, you want to have a million dollars because it does something for you in here. It literally sends out some chemical in here that’s making you feel good, which is why you’re pursuing it.

The same thing with your relationship.

The problem is we tend to think all the solutions and all the challenges in life are out there.

the biggest trap you can get caught in is to become a victim to the outer world and not pay enough attention to your inner world.

Victim mindset:

• being so focused on the outer world that the outer world mesmerizes me
• reacting to the outer world, I am not creating what I want
• too concerned about the outer world and with what’s going on in the outer world
• paralyzed by outer circumstances
• "It’s the boss. My boss is not as good as he should be. It’s my spouse, my spouse is doing crazy things, behaving in irrational ways. It’s the guy at work who is not doing the job that he’s supposed to be doing."

Creator mindset:

• belief in myself.
• self-esteem.
• resourcefulness.
• drive.
• vision,
• goals.
• self-control,
• discipline,
• emotional mastery

Creator = empowered

Victim = disempowered (actually you are so powerful that you can create the illusion that you don't have power)

 

Most people are stuck in the victim mindset. Most people are too concerned about the outer world. Let’s tie this back to self-control. To be able to influence the outer world, you need to have your psychology mastered. When you master your own psychology, it becomes easier to influence the world, otherwise the world is always influencing you.

why developing self-control and discipline is really hard

• emotional labour involved. There is struggle involved with building self-control.

How to develop it?

• through work.
• You have to develop emotional intelligence,
• start thinking, introspecting, 
• start watching yourself, 
• start building up consciousness.

imagine your brain as being a thermostat. A thermostat is a self-regulating system. When it gets too hot, the air conditioning kicks in and brings the temperature down. When it gets too cold, the heater kicks in and brings the temperature up, to maintain this equilibrium.

you have opposing forces. One is saying it’s too cold, the other is saying it’s too hot, how is it going to pan out? There has to be a war. There has to be a clash going on inside.A Battle Of Wills. Some of them sometimes win out, other times others win out., you have clashing neural networks. They’re vying for control.

build up your prefrontal cortex, right here, which is able to control, for example, the different impulses that you have. It controls whether you’re going to splurge on that donut you know you shouldn’t be splurging on. It controls whether you’re going to keep up with your gym routine.

It controls whether you’re going to explode at your spouse in a fit of rage when they do something that bothers you, or that you didn’t want them to do. Ultimately, what personal development is, it actually takes place on a physical level, where you have these neural connections being built.

You start to notice that you get more awareness and more ability to control your feelings, more ability to control your emotions, more ability to control your behaviour, more ability to persist in spite of the fear, to have courage, more ability to learn, more ability to introspect, to be very honest with yourself.

What are some things you can do to build self-control?

1. disciplined practice.

• get up at a certain time when you want to be getting up.
• if you have intentions to meditate, do that.
• If you have intentions to journal, do that.
• If you have intentions of eating healthy, do that.
• If you have intentions of going to the gym, do that.

Be very disciplined and consistent about it. 

2. unhook from media and stimulation.

• stop television, radio, gossip from your friends, advertising, negative influences from your family, from friends, browsing internet all day, chatting with friends, ice cream, chocolate....
• Get back to your source. Spend some time by yourself in solitude. Think about things. Be introspective. Raise your level of consciousness. 

[AleksM]

Actualized Blueprint - 100+ of the most powerful personal development concepts of all time.

https://actualized.org/blueprint

 

Actualized-org-blueprint.pdf

[bejapuskas]

Spiral Dynamics - Stage Red

 

Spiral dynamics is a model of the human psyche and value systems as they relate to the environment and time period they find themselves in. Human environments and society changes rapidly, therefore the psyche and value systems transform with it.

 

Evolved from a collectivist stage - Purple - tribal, magical thinking, animistic, ritualistic, allegience to chief, ancestors, elders and clan

Red now represents - egocentrism, exploitativeness, impulsiveness, authoritarianism, no guilt, survival of the fittest and might makes right mindsets

Next step is stage Blue - absolutist, moralistic, hierarchical, burreaucratic, nationalistic, dogmatic, religious, theocratic, loyal, traditional, conformist

 

Red is domineering, power hungry, animalistic (no or little sense of human rights for survival, possession etc...), individualistic, taking charge without compassion, self-absorbed, sees life as survival in the jungle, victims vs. predators, looks for immediate gratification of its desires, ignores consequences, risk tolerant, challenging death, prevailing - necessary for its survival. 

Understanding Red from higher stages (high Orange, Green) can be difficult, because they might assume, that humans always were compassionate and aware of the feelings and needs of others and nice to their families, but this is not exactly true if we look at the history of humankind. It is not evil, but actually it might be necessary for some to be able to survive in a specific kind of environment. If you are reading this, most likely you are lucky to live in a country with fair police, court system, society with high morals etc... Stage Red is not a mental disorder.

Stage Purple, that comes before Red, can be falsely perceived by the higher stages as peaceful, but because it needs to live in a tribal culture, which naturally grows in size, and simultaneously there are multiple tribes fighting over limited resources, some sense of personal ambition, need to control and overpower others is necessary in order to continue living. Actually having a peaceful chieftain of a tribe can cause the elimination of entire families by neighboring tribes, so becoming physically strong and thirsty for power, can, in reality, save lives of innocent people ---> stops being nice, stop being a victim, goes to a fight to win.

 

Values: Personal power, strength, brute force, display of toughness, heroism, daring, being the boss, being #1, winning at all costs, conquering one's enemies, thrill of conquest, being able to bully others, glorious death, warrior mentality, fearlessness, competition, crushing opponents, intimidation above diplomacy and other soft means, groin centered instead of heart centered, ambition, playing it big, revenge, respect, loyalty to the boss, decisiveness, action, pragmatism, no nonsnse, taking ownership, getting things done, just do it mentality, shoot first - ask questions later, status, machismo, pride, bragging, charisma, plain speaking rather than intellectualism or education, manipulation, exploitation, sexual conquest for power, torture, inflicting suffering, enjoying life to the fullest - damn the consequences, power contest, breaking rules, finding loopholes

 

Characteristics: Wants the respect that it deserves, free of guilt and shame, indifferent to the suffering caused to others, enjoying itself, narcissistic, impulsive rather than strategic, intuitive, follows gut feeling, doesn't look far into the future, uses fear and intimidation to govern, tyrannical, believes in gods that are complimentary to their life style, desensitized, violent, doesn't cultivate relationships, uses others, treats others as animals and instruments, ballsy, cocky, likes to beat the odds, takes a lot of risks, direct, blunt, materialistic, hedonistic, ruthless, bloodthirsty, dominates resources and animals, no capacity for self-reflection, perceives all problems as external, sees corruption as the way of life, alpha male mentality, confrontational, sees people as friends and enemies, which must be used/destroyed - relationships are not relative at this stage, submits to higher power only for pragmatic reasons.

 

Examples: Donald Trump, Saddam Hussein, Irak, Syria, Lyberia, Somalia, North Korea, Myanmar, Africa, Palestine, Hitler, Stalin, mafia, pirates, marauders, Yakuza, prison culture, freedom fighters, thiefs, Ancient Rome, Caligula, Nero, samurai code, Alexander the Great, Achilles, Klingons, hackers, sociopaths, psychopaths, narcissists, long shooters, mass shooters, Conan the Barbarian, Joe Pesci, toxic masculinity, Red Pill, Genghis Khan, war criminals, rape gangs, torture, wild rock stars, Russel Brand in his early days, Jules from Pulp Fiction, the Joker, Jim Jones, Game of Thrones characters, some porn stars, strippers, violent porn, absolute monarchs, crucifixion, cutting of body parts as legal punishment, bullies, colonial exploitation, Wild West, slavery, the Terminator, Rambo, cocaine, heroine, crack users, the lesser jihad, ISIS, MMA, UFC, boxing combats appeal to stage Red people, Mike Tyson in his early twenties, Don King, Connor McGregor, bank robbers, black culture, animal cruelty, dog fighting, cock fighting, Lord of War, Alex Jones, Incel culture, aspects of the pick up community, Kanye West, rap music, heavy metal music, punk music, GTA and other video games, graffiti, Sith from Star Wars, Fight Club, KKK, lynchings, Machiavelli

 

Phrases and sayings: Might makes right, Desperate times require desperate measures, No guts, no glory, You have to break some eggs to make an omelette, An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, It's a doggy dog world, Survival of the fittest, To the victor go the spoils, The world is a jungle, If you're not with us, you're against us, Fight to the nail, Take no prisoners, An offer he can't refuse, What's in it for me?, Off with his head, You scratch my back, I scratch yours.

 

How to distinguish Red from Orange - Stage orange will manipulate and exploit, red will break kneecaps. Red enjoys the suffering of others, orange is more of a full-on capitalist, red cannot control its impulses, orange is more strategic, make plans, be patient, control its emotions, orange is capable of shame and remorse, is not physically violent and tens to be democratic, red wants a totalitarian regime and rule it, orange values science and education

 

What triggers Red: Signs of weakness and emotional vulnerability, isn't open to exploring its feminine side, especially as a man, ridicule, disrespect, disloyalty, threatening the boss' authority, being outshined by somebody, losing a fight, not being the winner, lack of action, excuses, indecisiveness, intellectual approach, doubt about one's power, feminism, social justice warrior, homosexuality, hippies' values

 

Unhealthy manifestations and excesses: Remember, is Red not bad, but it tends to slide into downwards spiral of violence, abuse, exploitation, mafia, robbery etc... Causes rape, oppression of minorities, terrorism, corruption. Irrationality, zero systems thinking, no education, megalomania, narcissism, sociopathy, exploiting systems. Can't maintain relationships, struggles with building up a stable government through nepotism instead of carefully voting for competent candidates. It ends up undermining itself with chaos, so it needs to evolve into disciplined Blue. Toxic masculinity and hierarchy.

 

Healthy manifestations: Bringing tribes together (Saddam Hussein), cohesion, unification by higher power, moving from tribalism into urbanism. It is fast, decisive, it is not a victim - being a victim, suicidal and helpless is worse than doing at least something. Defending its people against other bullies and armies, standing up to authority. Doesn't need to be so deeply religious and dogmatic, can be more pragmatic, secular, get things done. Offers rapid development and expansion of territory, it can take care of itself, have many ambitions and get the work done. 

 

Statistics: 20 % of adult population which holds roughly 5 % of global influence. 

 

How to transcend Red: Jules from Pulp Fiction moves from living a gangster life to finding god - living through some sort of miracle, maybe surviving a horrible situation. Overcoming addiction, creating a sense of life purpose, developing a sense of higher truth, opening your mind to morality, volunteering, recognize the limits of egocentric life - recognize that if everyone is a bully, the system just spiral downwards. Notice what it is like, when you are the one being overpowered. Realize that not everything can be solved through violence. Develop a sense of guilt, shame and remorse, empathy, compassion and shared suffering. Recognize the limits of authoritarianism, importance of rules. Develop discipline and work ethic, study stoicism. Join the military if you are living in a bad neighborhood and have very little options - use it for education and exploring the world. Educate yourself, read books, explore the world. Change your environment or move countries, change your friends, move to a different city. Soften your emotions, femininity, vulnerability. Join a support group, work with people in a caring, polite way. 

 

Final comments: If you are judging Red, it shows, that you haven't yet fully integrated it. By demonizing and judging, you aren't achieving anything, rather try to understand this mindset and value system. This stage is not related to a race or a religion, rather it is a developmental stage of everyone. It is important for societies to move through evolution quicker. 

[Rahul yadav]

Comprehensive Stage Red Notes

StageRed Notes.pdf

[peqkno]

Distraction — The Ego’s favorite Defense Mechanism

 

“Sir, might I suggest the red hering? It is excellent tonight.”

 

Why aren’t more people conscious? Distraction.

Sneaky phenomenon

Ego many defense mechanisms. Why? Needed to keep illusion of ego alive.

If you didn’t distract yourself you would inevitably discover the truth about yourself: no you.

 

What is meant by distraction?

Not just video games, facebook, … they are ofc distractions

thinking those are the distraction is itself the distraction

peanuts compared to real distraction

 

real distraction: your entire life

everything you are doing in your life has the big picture goal of distracting you from turning inwards and seeing the Truth

 

Work, Career, Business, Pursuing Success, Pursuing Money

Family, Relationships, Friendships, Socialization

Talking, Thinking, Debating, Arguing

Trying to safe the world, Doing good in the world

Education

Politics

Church

Religion

Technology

Science

 

all distractions

 

there are redeeming qualities to these things, but in the big oicture the ego uses them as shields from doing the inner work to become conscious in life.

 

A high quality distraction isn’t a frivolous thing. You distract yourself with the most meaningful thing in the world.

 

A slight of hand of the mind that makes you have the wrong priorities in life which gets you pursuing the wrong things in life.

 

Related Episodes:

30 Ways Suciety Fucks You In the Ass

Lifestyle Minimalism

Overcoming Addictions

 

Distractions always very well justified. The best don’t seem like distractions at all (sneaky).

 

What are you distracted from?

Turning inwards

Facing existential Truth and Reality

—> Absolute Infinite Episodes, Enlightenment Episodes (, and prob also newer ones)

Not only delaying enlightenment, but just living the contemplative lifestyle, becoming more conscious about all aspects of life (thought process, how money works, …)

 

Why?

Mind has to work this way, otherwise it can’t exist.

Almost like you were a magician who’s life depended upon fooling himself he exists, has to be a very good magician. Paradoxical

 

What is a distraction?

Make some noise over there so that none looks ever here, then we stall out the clock.

 

Merely stall out the clock, for 60 years of life till to old, sick and stubborn to care about anything and then you die.

 

You can do all the other stuff but never discover yourself.

Let it sink in: 99.99999% of all human being die on this earth without having discovered who they actually are.

See distraction in you and how difficult it is to resist it. The see it in others, then in the whole species.

 

Solid illusion: entire sense of reality, notion of physical reality is an illusion. People thinking this claim is outrageous show how deep the illusion goes.

Agreeing with this is also part with the illusion.

 

Some flashy object and you get preoccupied looking at it so you don’t look at the elephant in the room.

Very intelligent people do this.

Whenever you think you avoided the tricks of the mind, whatch out. That is when the mind succeeded at tricking you.

 

Example: Religion

In name the function is to get you to the Truth. The way it evolved and morphed and was bastardized by the ego turned it into the ultimate distraction trap. Feel as though they move to the truth but move in different direction.

When thinking you have one up on your mind, mind has one up on you.

Amazing to see that and connect it back to what happens in society.

Especially when you make good progress you will fall of track, something will distract you. Happens hundreds of times on this path.

 

The mechanism of the mind has so many red herings, it is a miracle people even discover the Truth.

Like walking through 10 miles of minefield and coming out alive.

 

What happens in the Awakening Process?

You awaken by 1% then you forget, then you remember a month later and awaken by 1%, then you bacjslide and forget for a whole year. Then you remember and self-inquire, meditate andawaken by 2%. Then something distracts you.

Society’s, Religion’s, Career’s job is to make you busy. Chase your own tail until you’re dead.

That’s what it means to be a self.

 

There are infinite distractions in society. Even on a solo meditation retreat, still infinite distractions. All the tricks: let’s go for a walk, look at that cute squirrel, a cyclone of thoughts, …

Distractions can be very micro and very macro.

You’re life depends on distracting itself from looking inward. A high stakes game until you awaken and see the sham of it.

 

Your mind tricks you into chasing

books

philosophizing

drama

tabloids

sex

porn

 

The more society advances the worse the problem gets. Wait til Virtual Reality, imagine VR porn, VR Facebook, VR Video Games, …

Your entire career can be one giant defense mechanism, red hering.

 

Even a glimpse of full awakening for some hours, will get you to see if it weren’t for some lucky circumstances you would’ve missed knowing how good awakening it and that it exists.

 

Society is a collective ego distraction. Designed to keep ego perpetually stimulated. That’s why Yogis choose to live on mountaintops etc.

Have you noticed a knee jerk reaction against living on a mountain top or in a cave? You have been brainwashed by society into “life” as you know it, life in mainstream society, you don’t know any other life.

 

Notice negative characterizations you got from society: “Can’t be happy out there without a phone, porn, internet, alcohol, party, girls, guys, children, family, …”

 

Actually the process in becoming conscious and staying within mainstream society is actually much harder than for yogis and monks living in a cave  

As though reporting on the news is what your life is about? Get paid millions and stay stuck.

 

Objection: Sounds like you’re badmouthing family, religion, business, success, sex and relationships and that it’s bad and evil and a sin. And now I feel moralized.

Nothing is bad. Bad doesn’t exist. No action is bad. Nothing wrong and bad about video games, go play them if you want. Don’t have to stop doig anything in particular. BUT what will you likely do? Fall back into mainstream cultural habits and conditions, doin them unconsciously and not seeing the elephant in the room.

 

You’re gonna piss away your life if you are not careful right here.

Though technically nothing is wrong and you can do anything you want, but from a practical perspective you create a miserable life.

 

You are paying the toll for the life you lead.

Chasing really small fish, when there is a whale to be landed. Land the fucking whale. Don’t loose sight of the big picture by getting sucked into your career, your family, your relationship, into sex, into pickup, hobbies of the stupid sort. Doesn’t mean “don’t do it.”

If you wanna collect bottle caps, go collect bottle caps. But put in in perspective. Make it an ancillary aspect of your life. The problem happens when you make it the primary feature of your life. 

Career about bottle cap collecting and spreading that idea throughout society and become a millionaire and thinking “I aced life.” NOPE, you got distracted and lost sight of the big picture.

 

—> Not moralizing. Not saying you shouldn’t do anything. But be mindful of the consequences where it will lead you. You mostly pay for them.

 

Good metaphor

Imagine you’re in Disneyland. It’s fun there and you are there with your family and kids. Going on rides eating all the greasy food, your first time there. Then Leo comes up. He says: “Hey guys, we gotta get out of here. Stop all the rides, stop eating the foods, put all this down. There is a giant fucking hurricane coming.” You listen… and say “Are you really saying that the rides in Disneyland are bad? Do you say this churro I’m eating is bad? And my lids and family is bad? Sounds like you dismiss this whole thing. What’s wring with going to Disneyland and enjoying myself. It’s just fun. Relax man, don’t be anal about it.”

Leo isn’t saying there is something wrong with being in Disneyland per se, but realize there is a hurricane coming. What is the hurricane? Your death. And it’ll come much sooner than you think.

 

 

What’s your connection to life gonna be when on your deathbed?

What’s your whole life gonna be about?

If people still have some wit at that age, they realize they have been in Disneyland, on rides, gueging churros to the point they got sick of them. Now the hurricane is come and now you’re screwed.

The rides are fun. Society is an amusement park for the ego. But the hurricane is coming.

It is possible to prepare yourself for this hurricane, the way you do it is by awakening, doing consciousness work.

Getting the ultimate big picture is important. And prioritizing your ultimate big picture above anything else.

To really get what Leo says, you prioritize it to #1, #2 and #3. Everything else can still happen, like Disneyland, but it’s #10 or #15

 

 

In Islam there’s the concept of “forgetfulness”

pray 5 times a day

why? If you don’t take precautions to think about life at an existential level or to pray, every single minute of the day, you will forget. Because your mind is that tricky and gets easily distracted.

Really mindful and meditating 24/7, but it’s hard that we forget.

 

People tend to hate religious abstentions:

No sex, no alc, no fun stuff.

Thinking they are so up tight and demonize all fun stuff at life.

 

Two kinds of abstentions:

Told to do it from an external authority, doing it from obligation = unconscious, inspiritual

Reason there are so many obstantions like the harcore mystics, you have to find a way to work around the (worst) distractions of your culture

you also see them as low consciousness activities, entithetical to going after the elephant in the room

As you become more conscious you naturally tend to discard them, not in a rigid fashion, just gravitate towards sth else

Sex, alcohol, nothing is gonna look like a sin, but beautiful life. Though to get there you gotta abstain from stuff. 

 

Looking from post-awakening is a different perspective than pre-awakening. From pre-awakening you gotta work your ass off practically. From post-awakening you can say everything is fine, nothing to do and nowhere to go.

 

 

None of those things are bad, that makes them tempting. It’s untruthful to call them sin or bad.

 

The highest level of abstinance is not from an iseological or moralistic fashion. You abstain because you rather have the truth, developing a love for it so you don’t want to tarnish it.

 

In the sense most people would’t do heroin if it were sold in their pharmacy because they see it’ll lead them spiraling downwards of chasing lower and lower consciousness things. It’s not a sin, but there is that problem if you have something to loose.

Now replace heroin with your family, money, career, sex, and all the stuff society tells you is okay.

 

 

What are the takeaways from this episode?

Start to notice all the little distractions and big distractions you experience every single day. Not saying yet to abstain, just noticing. You start becoming aware, it’ll start going away slowly [—> Awareness alone is curative.]

Micro distractions. Like when meditating and it starts to rain and you get distracted and start thinking about the rain. 

Macro distraction. Thinking about having some children when you shouldn’t yet. Or when having a tiny business, thinking about expanding it and dreams about growing it bigger and bigger, and noticing: Oh, that whole chain of never ending business expansion might eb a macro distraction. Or criticising, finger pointing, debating, like wait I do a lot of it, might be a macro distraction. 

It’s okay to get distracted, don’t demonize it. You’ll say “Oh man I’m such a bad person, I can’t meditate.” and feel guilty. Be careful kudging yourself. You have to appreciate this mechanism is what allows you to exist and that your life hinges upon it, so it won’t disassemble and deconstruct easily. Probably years. You wouldn’t judge yourself for getting blown over by a hurricane. Your mind is much stronger than a hurricane.

 

Key: Staying mindful of the mechanism, not letting your mind turn outward too much. Watching it over time you’ll get a feel for what goes on. Appreciate them, don’t demonize them.

 

Layer upon layer of distraction. They are woven into each other. And micro and macro and everything in between. Ingenious minds work that way.

 

Just be mindful how these mechanisms are working in society. Notice the structures built by society and culture and how they reinforce and play into these traps and make them worse. Again the mistake would be demonizing society or people for inventing it. Realize it’s a mich larger force than any one individual, government, culture.

Overarching force of ignorance, this whole process is the universe becoming conscious of itself. It starts from a process of low consciousness moving to high consciousness.

Always a struggle seen through history. Not linear upward, wavy with upwards trend, and you don’t know you’re at the bottom.

 

 

Not telling you to become a workaholic or a moralist, or to become religious, or to become anal and deny yourself the pleasures of life.

The whole point of abstaining lower consciousness rhings is so you can get to the higher consciousness things.  

 

Highest consciousness then everything becomes joy, it circles around. In a sense spirituality is the most hedonistic way to live, but its the opposite when you start out.

Lower consciousness you have to cherrypick, and all happiness becomes continent on me successfully cherrypicking the right stuff.

Distraction doesn’t mean “quit it”, watch it.

Leo recognizes actualized.org is a distraction, watch out actualized.org doesn’t become a distraction for you. It can be overused. There is a fine balancing act here. No one can tell you the right balance for you, you have to discover it as part of the growth process. [—> Balance in PD]

[Vido]

The Trap Of The Toxic Life Purpose

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Ti0fl_TUUo

 

The Trap Of The Toxic Life Purpose

 

What is the point of life purpose?

We live a life and if we don't take on a life purpose we live a toxic life purpose because of our default wiring

 

Toxic Life Purpose

-  There is no mechanism in our society that aligns high paying job with maximum benefit to the society

- If you don't consciously put effort into thinking about what kind of impact you want your life's work to have, we get swayed and have purpose chosen for us. That leads to following the toxic life purpose and harm human society and the collective

- We all have to survive and if we don't have a conscious life purpose, the ego looks for the most convenient in terms of  easiest, the highest paying or ideologically convenient (something that reinforces your existing world view)

-  Your mind has a need to have a sense of community and a sense of purpose and you don't have it, your ego-mind will want to have it. If you don't have it, it is just going to happen unconsciously, selfishly

- We are gradually brainwashed by it which is why it is so deceptive

- But at this moment, we can become aware of the fact that there is a void in our heart due to the lack of meaning and it's going to get filled one way or another. So you can decide to take conscious control of it and decide how you can fill it.

- Think "what kind of impact do I want my life to have on the world?"

- It takes years of trial and error. So give yourself time.

- There is no quick fix.

- The amount of time and effort you put in something, it pays proportional dividends. So choose wisely.

- A conscious life purpose will not only remove all the suffering caused by some dead-end job but also, help you spiritually connect with the work and helps you stay in bliss

- If you don't do it, not only do you have a gaping hole in your heart but also you are living with deep-seated misery and anger brewing inside of you because you cannot express that outside due to the negative consequences

- In life, many of the important choices are chosen unconsciously

- The hope is in the next five years, with the help of desire, you can figure it out and escape the wage slave

- Check out the life purpose course! (It's actually good)

- The key is to build a POWERFUL VISION

 

 

[Vido]

The Sneaky Psychology Behind Conspiracy Theories

 

 

*The Sneaky Psychology Behind Conspiracy Theories*

 

- Conspiracy Theory: A fool's idea of intelligence.

- Problem we are facing now:

1: People have zero understanding of epistemology, so they fall in to usual trap if epistemology

2: Social media: it creates echo chambers of confirmation bias where you are able to lock yourself into an ideological bubble of like-minded peers

3: We are in late-stage capitalism: Most players treat the news like a business. This means that the collective education and intelligence is for sale to the highest bidder.

- If a conspiracy theorist buys into one theory, they most likely buy into dozen

- We are going to explore the Structure of the conspiracy theory and not the content. Content is distraction

- Conspiracy theory is basically a projection of the ignorant ego-mind. The more ignorant an ego-mind is, the more proud and righteous it feels about its theories and speculations of the reality and gets lost in the labyrinth of its own belief system

- People have a difficult time distinguishing their belief system and their direct experience.

- Conspiracy theory is designed for people with low intelligence and who are intellectually lazy and are not interested in doing serious epistemological investigation, people who are not serious about questioning their worldview

- List of conspiracy theories 14:22

- The corruption found outside in the world is a reflection of corruption inside you

- The way the devil deceives you is by sprinkling falsehood into kernels of truth

- A conspiracy theory is not all a lie, if it was, you would reject it. It's a mix between truth and falsehood

- What we call evil doesn't come from truly conscious malicious intent, it comes from unconsciousness, selfishness and ignorance. (Not evil powerful overlords)

- The ego mind has a neeeeed to make sense of the reality it doesn't understand. The mind hates not knowing

- It's very easy and convenient for the ego-mind to trace all the evil back to one source which is not itself.

- Conspiracy theory allows you to feel morally superior to all those other evil brainwashed people out there.

 

A fundamental problem of conspiracy theories:

1.They promote a fundamentally wrong view of reality and consciousness. This view of duality that there is us vs them. There is a separation between my enemies and me.

Truth: Reality is one.

2. They lead to a general outlet of suspicion, outlet and blaming of others.

Truth: Go solve the problem, or follow your highest passion and set an example for others as to how to live

3. Conspiriotory thinking don't lead to a root solution for any of the problems

4. So what if they are true? What are your gonna do about it? It's a trick from doing the inner work. You have to work on yourself and improve yourself regardless of what is going outside. To solve the root problem of society, we have to come together and work together.

5. Demonization of a group of people

6. Decrease meaningful civil engagement. Conspiracy thinking is a subset of ideological thinking.

 

- Conspiracy theory is the survival mechanism of ego mind. They confirm ego mind's initial confirmation and fears

- Conspiracy theory involves a lot of circular reasoning/ closed loop thinking

- They conflate interpretation with fact

- They can make you feel powerful

- There is refusal to take collective responsibility with conspiracy theories

- Conspiracy theory is a misuse of skepticism. The true function of skepticism is to look inwards and remove the devilry

- Conspiracy theories prey on emotional triggers like shock, fear, anger and other low consciousness emotions

- Conspiracy theories lack a lot of intellectual honesty

- Conspiracy theories reinforce close-mindedness, dogma and selfishness

- They are used to mobilize crowds 

- The more you distrust systems and other groups of people, the more you feel like your voice isn't being heard, the more susceptible you are to conspiracy theories

- The more you are struggling in life, the more susceptible you are to conspiracy theories

- You need to realise that virtually anything can be held true and justified with logic

- All of reality is imaginary

- Solution to conspiracy theory is introspection, contemplation, open-mindedness, good education, looking for multiple diverse perspectives, serious journalism, science and academic rigour, falsification, personal development and self-actualization, stop all judgments, start taking collective responsibility, systems thinking, stop seeing others separate from you, treat other's as though they are your own family members or as though they were your own body, intellectual integrity and commitment to truth, simply admitting I don't know, be comfortable with confusion, have a clear distinction between beliefs and direct experience, have some experiences of non-duality

- Ultimate solution to conspiracy theory is consciousness, selflessness, Truth with a capital T, Love with a capital L

[Vido]

Developing Introspection - The Solution To The Problem Of Self-Deception

 

 

Developing Introspection

 

 

- The #1 skill to develop intelligence, wisdom, and to escape all the mechanisms of self-deception and delusion which is LOOKING INWARDS

- how can I tell what's true?

your ability to feel inwards and introspect is the key

- This is a very robust concept

- Introspection is the ability to truthfully observe the dynamics of your own psychology and mind. TRUTHFULLY is a keyword here, it takes practice to develop this skill.

- Truthful Observation: It takes practice to observe something in a truthful, impartial, unbiased, accurate and faithful manner.

- This skill is a meta ability, to observe all the working from such that you are not getting meshed and entangled in the everyday functions of the mind.

- While doing this, you will be noticing your emotional states and causes

- You need to be able to distinguish and feel emotions like fear, anger, sadness, frustration, desire, hurt, craving, happiness, afraid BUT ALSO knowing what causes these states are of crucial importance (Most often it's not somebody else but how you are thinking about the situation, belief system, the meaning you are attaching to things you are denying)

- You also have to notice the interplay between your thoughts and your emotions in a strange loop kind of fashion where thoughts can create emotions and emotions can create thoughts

- Notice your rationalization, justifications and excuses.Your Ego mind can make anything justified and true. So the only countermeasure is to feel into it and through it and to see through the sham of it.

- You also need to notice your judgements, your demonization of others, and when you blaming and scapegoating others

- Notice your victim mindset

- You need to be able to see the sneakiness of your mind which is the introspection skill

- 1. When you first feel inwards, it's wage and fuzzy at first. You are not sure how to make sense of it. It's confusing. You don't understand. You might grasp for something but it might be wrong conclusions. But slowly, you will get a sense of balance. You might also discover stuff you don't like.

- Notice how you avoid both personal responsibility and collective responsibility. But why? You should explore this! Notice and feeeeel when you are actually avoiding responsibility

- Identifying and removing all the negative beliefs is HUGE HUGE HUGE

-  When you hold limiting beliefs, they feel like truth and reality

- Need to notice your self standard and Biases. The standard that you set for yourself is different compare to the standard you set for others

- Feel INWARDSSS in your DIRECT EXPERIENCE and NOOOOTICE

- Notice when you are dishonest and you are lying to others and yourself. How do you know you are dishonest? You can feel it, it has a dirty quality to it. Also notice, why you lie, what is sourcing and motivating this lie

- Notice your grudges, bitterness and trauma

- Notice your preferences and your deepest needs

- Your attachment feels like a gripping sensation, Any sort of stuckness, constriction, tightness, pulsating uncomfortable sensation, etc.

- You can feel inwards and feel that the attachment is wrong.

- Notice when you are unwilling to let a thing go

- Notice when you are arguing, how you get emotionally triggered

- When you feel inwards and it doesn't feel right, that's a clue that the higher self is sending to you "HEYYY, YOU ARE FOOOLING YOURSELF HERE, YOU STUPID BITCH" (my addition, not Leo's)

- Notice and introspect when your ego uses logic in selfish ways.

- You need to admit when you truly know a thing but you pretend as you do.

- You need to notice when you manipulating another person

- Notice your motives and intentions

- Notice when you are not being authentic in order to please somebody else.

- Notice when you are giving the power away

- Notice when you are irked or annoyed by constructive feedback

- Notice when you have learnt something new

- Notice how you react to failure

- Notice your habits and addictions and notice further what is sourcing your addictions

- Notice the TONE of the self-talk

- Notice your hidden assumptions

- Notice with your job and a career, your jobs and your interests.

- Notice when you are being evasive and avoidant

- Notice when you are being arrogant

- Notice when you are being flippant and dismissive

- Notice when you are unjust or unfair to others

- People treat others 

- Notice your own defence mechanisms

- Notice when your project and when you externalize

- Notice your shadow (THE SHADOW WORK EPISODE IS COMINGG!!! YAY)

- Notice when you aren't feeling good

- Notice your gut feeling and intuitions

- Notice when you are closed-minded and stubborn (Check out the episode of openmindedness)

- Notice and acknowledge when you are wrong

- Notice when you cover-up mistakes

- Notice when you feel guilty

- Notice when you feel shame and embarrassment

- Notice when you feel love and spiritual connection

- FORMULA FOR GOOD LIFE: If you want to have a good life, notice what makes you feel love, motivation, inspiration, joy and spiritual connection and do more of that and less of the opposite. (this assumes you know how to feel into this stuff)

- You need to be able to differentiate dirty sorts of satisfactions and spiritual sorts of satisfactions.

- Notice when you are fantasizing. Be able to distinguish between direct experience vs fantasy

- Notice your own privileges

- Notice your interpretations

- Notice you are being peer pressured when you are conforming and when there is social conditioning in you.

- Notice when you are being rebellious just for the sake of being rebellious

- Notice your mind constructing a self-serving narrative

- Notice when you are suffering. Notice different kinds of suffering you have. Notice what causes suffering. Ask yourself, are you truly understanding their perspective

- Notice when a new problem arises and it disappears.

- Notice when you are being selfish, notice your own corruptions, notice when you are being a devil, notice when you are contributing to global evil

- Applications: 1:32:13

 

WARNING:

- Introspection is not speculation, not rationalization, not belief

- Sit and patiently observeeeeee your mind at work without judging it, without emotionally reacting to it, without manipulating it, without trying to change it

- Memorising and parroting actualized.org

concepts is not introspection

- Introspection works in tandem with a genuine intention for truth and a commitment to intellectual integrity

- Value to adopt: Truthful accurate clear introspection

- Introspection comes at a cost. Huge emotional labour. More introspection is more responsibility

- It will take years to develop significant introspection skills

- It is a subtle skill that nobody in society is going to push you to develop

 

Use your heart as a compass.

 

[Vido]

The 9 Stages Of Ego Development - Part 1, 2 and 3

 

 

6 stages of Ego Development by Cook-Greuter:

 

- Based on the sentence completion test.

- It models how self-identity/ego evolves over time

- Find out what kind of ego do you have?

- This is focused on cognitive and mental development

- Modelling how the mind is relating to reality

- "The whole previous meaning system is transformed and restructured into a new, more expansive and inclusive self-theory and theory of the world"

- The function of the ego is meaning-making

- The ego is constantly engaged in the battle of sense-making

- Here we look at the structure of the mind (watch content vs structure)

- "A person's understanding of power, feedback, time, love, integrity, and truth, for instance, changes with increasing development."

 

-  9 stages

1)    Symbiotic

2)    Impulsive

2/3) Opportunist - 4.3%

3)  Conformist

        3/4)  Expert

4)  Achiever

4/5) Pluralist

5)    Autonomous/Strategist

5/6) Construct-Aware/ Magician

6) Unitive

 

 

 

PRECONVENTIONAL STAGE

 

- Symbiotic - a baby

- dependant on parents

- struggling to make sense to the world

-  Impulsive

- toddler

- stage in which you have your earliest memories

- thinks in crude dichotomy

- easy for the mind to feel overwhelmed and feel abandoned

- People are seen as objects to gratify one's needs

 

- Opportunist

- the mind is very impulsive, animal-like, self-centred

- Doesn't consider the needs and suffering of others

- mind is not capable of insight into itself or others in any psychological sense.

- life is seen as a zero-sum game. If I win, you lose. If you lose I win

- There is a sense of self having two sides, inner self  and an outer self to shield it from others

- A problem would arise due to the mask one wears and how one really feels

- Social rules are recognized but are only followed for the immediate benefit or to avoid punishment

- One is socially invested in the concrete visible world of things that they can own

- Self-respect = my ability to control others

- Other's are always to blame not one's self

- One is prone to anger when frustrated and the anger tends to be loud and projected outwards

- Actions are only bad if one is caught or punished.

- Show little remorse when they are caught

- If it is caught, they tend to blame others

- Success can be archived in business if its about opportunism and unilateral power.

- business as exploitation

- showing weakness in this stage is considered dangerous

- The more others know about me, the more one is gonna take advantage of me. So I have to hide my true self from others so that it doesn't get taken advantage of.

- Morality doesn't compute in the mind

- not much empathy

- Defence mechanism:

+ Blame

+ Distortions to minimize one's own anxiety, fantasy, acting out. Twisting the truth around to suit one's own self

+ Self-protective, bull-headed, tunnel vision and are constantly blowing up

+ Don't find common grounds

+ Exploit other's weakness

+ Negative emotions are expressed loudly unabashedly

 

 

CONVENTIONAL STAGES

 

Conformist/ Diplomate

 

- Ego evolved beyond the opportunist stage and is discovering a new

"We space"

- I am part of a community

- The groups here are only of 2 types: the in-group and the out-group (us and them)

- There is a confused boundary between self and the in-group

- This stage is very sheep-like

- People are perceived as your allies or your enemies

- These people feel honoured to be in a part of a group with high status

- At this stage of cognitive development, the mind is unable to take perspectives of other groups

- At this stage, the mind cannot comprehend that other groups hold absolute beliefs as well.

- The mind at this stage cannot distinguish between belief and reality

- Belief is taken as reality

- No distinction between belief and experience either

- No sense of recognition that beliefs can be wrong

- Mind tries to uphold tradition and avoid rocking the boat

- Feedback is experienced as an attack and critique as wrongdoing

- doesn't evaluate things independently

- they need roles to be rigid and absolute

-  Black and white, either good or bad

- The action here carried out with absolute conviction

- Strong sense of guilt and shame

- confused and threatened by different perspectives, diversity, complexity, paradox, and multi-culturalism

(Note: with every stage, you are taking more and more responsibility)

- Sexuality is treated like an animalistic instinct that needs to be controlled

- People tend to be very judgemental

- Anger is suppressed

- Sense of self is denied by others

- Great value is put on material 3rd-dimensional stuff

- main anxiety is not to belong and be rejected by the group

- Asking the superior what to do is the natural way to deal with difficulties

- Avoid conflict within the group

- Suppressing their emotions, needs and wants

 

Expert Stage

- Able to step back and look at oneself as an object from a distance

- Rudimentary self-reflection

- Want to be unique

- get away from family and want to express newly found personhood

- Feels good to be noticed as unique

- Want to be respected for one's want and abilities

- focus on finding one's own voice

- capable of dealing with abstract objects and concepts and want to assert itself

- vision to be more successful

- the compulsive perfectionistic tendency here to outdo one's self

- want to be the best

- negative feedback as a personal rebuke

- enjoys criticizing others as a way to establish one's own superiority and power

- one's own way of doing things is considered the right way or the superior way

- focused on doing the task right rather than doing the right task

- Science becomes the religion

- superiority complex

- feels disappointed in oneself for not doing better

- strong sense of shoulds and wants

- Doesn't easily collaborate with others

- argumentative and opinionated. The intellect becomes weaponized and becomes aggressive

- The ego lives in a world where things are sure and clear

- Doesn't realize that one's perspectives is one of many valid perspectives

- person is overworked

- hard time delegating tasks

- loves to have the last word

- hostile sense of humour

- defence mechanism: Hyper rational logic

- highly educated specialist

- superego is strong at this stage but not available for introspection

- If I can do it, you can do it too attitude

- 1% openness

- Early interest in causality

 

 

Achiever

- 5 to 10 years forwards and backwards vision

- you can continue to grow from mind and heart as an adult

- excited for self-knowledge and self-improvement

- beginning to appreciate conceptual complexity

- Recognizes that the way that the problem is framed is the problem itself

- planful and capable of reorienting towards new goals

- still convinced in the scientific method doesn't question it very much

- looking for rational laws and ways in which the universe works

- much of science is done from this achiever stage

- better at working in a collaborative environment

- recognizing that making new distinctions is important for growing one's mind

- create complex theories and models

- actively asks to find out what makes other's tick

- trusts in the potential to improve oneself using effort, learning and feedback

- could take misguided criticism and see it as useful

- the concern with reasons, causes, and effective use of one's time

- interested in knowing the reasons and causes for unwanted behaviour

- starts to realize self-deception is a thing

- importance of distinguishing appearance from reality

- starting to connect with your feelings

- becoming familiar with their own biases and projections

- One can consciously use negative energy in productive ways

- sense of responsibility actualizing one's potential

- there is guilt for not being more successful and more developed

- questions the shoulds of the society and one's profession

- guilt for having made wrong choices and regret for missed opportunities

- more appreciative of diversities of people and perspectives

- interpersonal relationships now become more intense and more important for the achiever

- other's are valued for who they are rather than how they serve oneself

-  chooses to proceed based on one's own critical examination of what works and what is important

- driven to improve the world

- feeling of urgency

- preoccupied with getting things done

- issue of legacy and self-image becomes important

- may create complex theory psychology and philosophy but they are still in the level of theories

- drive to achieve that might lead to over exhaustion and burnout

- not trying to figure things out is no longer an option

- have a sense of responsibility for others even when pursuing their own agenda

- fear of loss and control in autonomy

- fear that they get sucked back into conformity

- fear of loss of progress

- material stuff and world is real

- believes that most problems can be solved with technology

 

 

GENERAL REMARKS

- people's responses don't all fit into one category, there is a blend in categories

- this model is about vertical development (changing your sense of reality and structure of your mind)

- the levels alternate in a snakey sort of motion between differentiation and integration of the ego-self

- see the significance of each stage and each stage is its own reality

- Shows you what healthy human development and maturity looks like

- HELPS YOU TO UNDERSTAND OTHERS WITHOUT DEMONIZING AND JUDGING THEM

Note: this is meant to complement the video. Please watch the video, I love it. I have been following Leo for 5.5 years and it literally changed my life in soo many ways <3 so this stuff is real.

Also, the book list is FIRE.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

 

The 9 Stages Of Ego Development - Part 2

--PART 1/2---

General Remark

- This is a scientific model and thus has it's own limits

- Each stage has the capabilities of the earlier stages underneath it.

- NONE of these stages are good or bad

- each stage is its own reality but the higher stages are its own reality incorporating the lower reality. Therefore, the higher stages can understand the lower stages as it went through them.

- You have to be humble enough to admit that there is something above your level of understanding

- Just because you are in a higher stage, it doesn't mean that you are a saint. There are still dysfunctions in the higher stages. (but it tends to improve as it goes higher)

- Humans do tend to regress stages when they are threatened or stressed

- awakening or mystical experiences can happen in any stage but the interpretation is different based on their level

 

POST-CONVENTIONAL

- Previous stages, the ego was busy constructing itself, but in this stage, the ego starts deconstructing itself

- deconstruction means turning your focus inwards, starting to really question yourself, starting to reflect on your beliefs & ideas.

- Starting to realize the socially constructed nature of reality

- Aspects of reality that could be deconstructed (Asking "is this really true for all people everywhere  or is it just a local phenomenon" )

+ Objective

+ Material

+ Real

+ Scientific

+ Absolute word

+ Rationality

+ Logic

+ Science

+ Government

+ Politics

+ Capitalist economic system

- Relativity is a huge theme of the post-conventional stage. This is a huge leap.

- There are many degrees of relativistic thinking

- Awareness of one's own unexamined beliefs becomes... almost painfully brought into one's consciousness

- the mind opens up to something beyond rationality, new ways of knowing the world than just logic.

- noticing evolution and self-deception. All problems become a matter of perspective and mind (not a problem with the world but how you think and relate to the world)

- There is a decrease in defensiveness and less blaming of others as you move up these stages

- language starts to be questioned and it becomes complex

- materialist assumptions are starting to be questioned (not completely but they are starting to be)

- although objects are seen are permanent, the meaning is seen to be context-dependent

- The boundaries of concepts seem to be much more flexible/movable/impersonal

- The mind can compare the whole system of thought and organization with increasing distance

- They can now look back to previous belief systems as systems

- There is an appreciation of existential, metaphysical, psychological and epistemic issues and questions

 

 

Pluralist

(11% of the adult US population)

- Relativity (check out Leo's episode of relativity part 1)

- realizes there are multiple perspectives and exploring the perspective becomes fascinating.

- Objective judgments become impossible

- Life still pressures you into survival. While you want to explore all the perspectives, you still want to manage life. This can be difficult as it becomes hard to make decisions in life. Not all views are equally practical

So you sort these views based on practicality

- We cannot help filter our observations through our personal and subjective lenses. This humbles the mind

- becomes aware of the culturalistic conditioning and you are not in control or values

- Exercise: Travel to unconventional exotic places

- They start to see all world views as equally valid and worthy of consideration

- Truth becomes really difficult to find in this stage because everything starts to become relative and they might even deny there is such a thing as truth

- The mind can stand outside itself it grew up in and observe itself/culture from above

- Good at questioning hidden assumptions values and beliefs

- there is a realization of self-deception as a defence mechanism [just beginning] (check out leo's video on self-deception. I personally highly recommend it)

- If other people are so easily fooled, what are the chances that you are fooling yourself thinking that you are an exception to self-deception?

- The greatest danger is your own mind and the beliefs and software that was programmed into your mind that was taken for granted with all the assumptions that you never questioned

- They start questioning how do we know what we know?

- Realizes that I am not immune to all the brainwashing

- There is an awareness of how much society or awareness has shaped one's point of view, worldview, beliefs and values

- The mind is seen as completely contingent on

+historical context

+geographic place

+economic circumstance

+education

        +the structure of society

+culture

+media

+advertising

+language

 

- The inner world becomes more interesting than materialistic pleasure

- trying to make sense of oneself

- They realize the limitation of rationality

- One of the chief ways the mind can deceive you is logic

-  exploration is more important than reaching a goal

- Tends to be a distrust at the pluralist stage of conventional wisdom and hyper-rational wisdom

- The scientific frame and the judgemental frame breaks down

- They like to scrutinize their own assumptions and relish novel mental freedom

- All values are now relative but survival still demands making choices and judgements that the pluralist struggles with

- Rather than solving a problem, one must figure out what to define a problem

- problems is an interplay between polarities neither one of which can simply be eliminated

- enjoys paradox and contradiction without the need to eliminate them

- linear logic gives way to a more holistic understanding

- Not everything needs to be proven in order to be embraced

- Value is placed upon insight and breakthrough

- playful exploration and the imagination is set free

- looks for connections and subtle clues rather than analyzing independent parts

- useful information can now come from beyond science

- sources that were viewed with ridicule such as intuition, feeling, dream, meditation, self-reflection, insight, these now become highly valued

- there is a shift from doing to being and feeling

- they like to live more unconventionally

- good at finding novel ways at looking at the problem

- they like to inspire others to pursue their own interest

 

 

Traps:

 

- they can appear amoral because they appear so relativistic

- there is a dread that one's work-life won't allow self-expression and creativity

- can feel isolated from others who don't understand the post-conventional mindset

- there can be relationship problems if your partner is post-conventional and the other person is conventional

- Diversity and equalities itself become an oppressive position.

- They might judge others who do not hold their values

- They still don't fully appreciate the others are not as developed as they are

- They generally very tolerant of other's diverse ideas, behaviours, and cultures but they can come off as dreamers and non-doers

- Tend to have an attitude of "It all depends"

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The 9 Stages Of Ego Development - Part 3

[Note: yes, I have written notes for the past 2 videos]

*General*

- It can be counter-productive to skip stages

- Don't rush trying to get towards enlightenment or awakening. If you do, you won't be able to sustain it

- Use this model to analyze what kind of people you are dealing with in your life

- Use this model to determine what kind of teachings you need!

- Focus on all the stages, if you don't do so, you will stagnate and will feel frustrated

 

 

*Construct-Aware/ Magician*

- mind and the material reality is tangled together is constructed

- Realize that life is not an objective but rather a subjective and deeply personal thing

- at this stage, you are concerned about what it means to be alive and the significance of your existence

- everything that is held true is called into question once again

- When you realize how much of reality is constructed by the mind, reality starts to feel intangible and groundless

- Keen awareness of how the ego-mind distorts reality and comes up with models and understandings of reality to suit itself for the purpose of survival (Check out the 2 part series of understanding survival. Very Imp)

- The realization that all objects are human-made constructions

- keep appreciation between the idea of map and the territory

- Realize how much language shapes your reality and understanding of the world

- Cognizant of the pitfalls of language and it's a tremendous gift to mankind

- Getting skillful at playing with the language and not getting stuck

- Realize that concepts only make sense with what it surrounds and polar opposite

- Awareness of how abstractions and concepts get made by the mind and responsible

- hitting up with the limits of the human mind

- conventional belief in the permanent, objective, external world starts to be questioned

- The distinction between mind and body, self and others starts to break down

- Objective and clear self-identification starts to be questioned at this stage

- this stage has a flexible, continuously, deconstructing, non-reified notion of self

- an acute awareness of the endless interplay of polar opposites

- good at cross paradigmatic thinking

- They have a global historical perspective

- stepping back and awareness of meaning-making

41:27 - 42:16

(Very profound)

- realization of the human need for map making and trying to organize experience and knowledge in ever more complex matrixes and meta-theory

- Deconstructing personal stories and letting it go

- Deception stages:

Level 1: We have no idea that we are deceiving ourself

Level 2: Start to get a little bit of idea that we are deceiving ourself

        Level 3: HOLY SHIT, I am deceiving myself and I am aware that I am deceiving myself, I CAN"T STOP deceiving myself because I am attached to it. Can't figure out how to let go yet. 

Level 4: You will be aware of self-deception that you will stop it before it starts. 

- Constantly questioning your own questioning process

- there is lastish effort by the ego to create comprehensive maps and reality possible

- theories incorporate other theories and become ever more complex

- sense of isolation that comes in this stage as nobody is able to understand you and your complexity

- start seeing the absurdity of map-making and stuff like this

- glimpses of consciousness beyond language

- a different relationship to knowing is necessary

- An acute awareness of ego tricks and mechanisms

- Ego functions as the CPU for all the stimuli and central reference point for all identity formation

- realize how deeply you get stuck in the ego and how helpless and powerless it is to break out of it

- The ego desires ego transcendence but it feels stuck even in it's own desires

- The more one tries to break free, the more one gets stuck

- Awareness of thoughts and how limited it is

- all cognition is realized as constructed and split off from underlying non-dual territory

- The concept of ego now becomes questionable

- the mind wants to get free of linguistic filters  but is stuck in its illusion

- Duality is recognized which mutually necessitate each other

- deep awareness of how one's unhappiness and judgements create unhappiness and so there is a lot of shedding and letting go of judging

- seeks deeper compassion of self and others

- has a dynamic and multidimensional understanding of human nature and human interaction

- living in the edge of meaning and meaninglessness

- awareness of one's own emotions and rational processing patterns but you have to use both

- awareness of pseudo-reality created by words

- rational explanations seem to be futile and impossible

- the language itself is a tool of ego constructing and defending itself

- capacity to draw from and appreciate insight from non-rational sources

- momentary experiences where the knower and known merge and the personal self disappears

- temporary freedom of the ego's constants effort to control

- Ego can use this information to tute its own horn

- As leaders, people tend to build their own novel organizations and work alone to make the best contribution to humanity that they can

- take the role of catalyst and transformers inside organizations

- tend to be consultant, mentors, therapist and coaches

- open to not knowing

- need to look good goes away

- need for defensiveness starts to melt away

- less need to impress others

- depression at this stage is the man's existential aloneness and inability to create lasting meaning through a rational process

- capable of perceiving the structure of its own thinking and feeling habits

- language is much more authentic, vivid, complex and playful. It's more direct and raw

- there is an attempt to let go of conscious structuring of what one says or does

- catches himself in self-deception and catches himself and auto-corrects

- Recognizing self-deception is an opportunity to grow and change your belief system

- Ken Wilber uses two terms when referring to this stage: Vision logical and centaur(half animal half human and both learn to coexist)

- questions the need of making order out of chaos

- think of reality as an undifferentiated whole and realization of the interconnectedness of all things

 

 

 

[Loving Radiance]

[FlyingLotus]

306.  Summary: Leo's Super Healthy Vegetable Soup

You can’t get fat on this soup and it can replace 1/3 of your current meals.  Nutrition and high energy are integral to the hard work of actualization.  Try eating this everyday for a month and notice how much better you feel!

This recipe provides soup for the whole week.  The quantity of veggies doesn’t have to be precise. It mostly depends on how much soup you want and how big your pot is. 

Ingredients

-Soup stock, 1 qt.

-Carrots, 1 or 2 cups.

-Bellpepper, 4.

-Celery, 1 bunch.

-2 Lemons, juiced.

-Frozen Green Beans, lots.

-Broccoli, lots.

-1 cup of Olive oil.

-Enough high quality water to cover all ingredients once everything’s in the pot.  

Spices:  (A lot of these are optional, but worth experimenting with)

-Sea salt, 4-5 tsp. 

-Pepper, 2 tsp.  

-5 Bay leaves.  

-Coriander, 2 tsp.  

-Turmeric, 2 tsp.  

-Thyme, 2 tsp.

-Garlic Powder, 2 tsp. 

Instructions

• Clean and Chop all vegetables. (Carrots, Bellpepper, Celery, Broccoli, Green Beans).
  • (Optional: 1 Onion and 1 Garlic bulb.  Can chop and sautée or just add without sauteeing.)
• Put all ingredients into a big pot.
  • (Optional: Can add oil at the end of simmering so that the oil does not denature.)
• Bring to a boil, stir, then cover. Simmer until veggies are soft.

Tips:

• Don’t overfill the pot or else it will boil over.  Keep an eye on your soup!
• As it cooks, the vegetables will cook down so you can add any remaining vegetables to the soup.
• Fill with high quality spring water or distilled water (if available).
• Organic veggies are best. 

You can try this soup with all types of vegetables.  For health reasons, avoid heavy starchy stuff like potatoes or pasta.  Try different combinations of vegetables and spices for a variety of flavour profiles: Tomatoes, Tomato sauce, Mushrooms, Cauliflower, Kale, Corn (in small quantities), Lentils, Quinoa, Soya sauce, Sesame Oil and so forth.

Edited October 12, 2021 by FlyingLotus
formatting & forgot to reference Chris Evans.