I am journaling my emotions

[Olafur Thorsteinsson]

Here I am shareing my emotions, my thoughts, my mindsets, where in my body I feel these feelings, why I am feeling this way. The purpose of this journal is to gain more self-awareness over my emotions and to share with otheres how are working on there self-awarenss. I will be open as I can.

My goal is to journal about my feeling here 3 to 5 times per day for at least 3 months to start with. 

My emotions?

I am felling a little bit of anxiety and lazy

Where am I feeling these emotions?

I feel anxiety knot in my stomach. I feel calm in my chest and lazyness in my head.

Usually I get the strongest and most negative emotions in my stomach and it tends to rule over even though I feel better emotions in my chest and my head. when I start focusing more on my chest and my head and changing my body language, then the tension in my stomach tends to disappear.

My toughts?

I don't know if anyone will read this, if they think it is boring or that I am some kind of crazy dude (I have a lot of social anxiety and I am working on it). and I am thinking like this "it's sunday to day. You have been doing so much this week so you diserve to be lazy".

How does the voice in my head sound like?

It sounds a littel bit shy and reactive

Is my emotion pusing me in to some thing or dragging me away?

It is trying to drag me away from the real work which is meditation (I have not been doing meditation for 3 weeks now. I need to start again if I realy want to see a real growth in my life), learing , eating healty (my mom has a birthday today so I eat too mutch cakes). and it is pushing me in to "do nothing mode".

Shat do I think that this emotions is trying to tell me?

I think the anxiety feeling is telling me that other people will not like this (which is bullshit) which probably meas that I am making this to much about me. I think that lazyness feeling is telling me to get ready for the next week.

 

[Olafur Thorsteinsson]

My emotions?

This emotions is subtle. I do not have the word for it, but it is a victim feeling

 

Where am I feeling these emotions?

I feel normal evertywhere, but there is something strange about it.

My thoughts?

I saw that there was no one had answered, or visited. so I when in to a little reactive mode. I was aware of it, and I was aware of the voice in my head changing to voice of a victime. Now I have concioussly change my voice to more confident and assertive voice. I was righting a post where a guy was asking if he should do pick up or not. I writed that I would do it if I where him, because it will give a lot of growth and fast. I know that many people do not like pick up and thing that it's for rapists. so I was a little nerwous puting it out. I also know that if I train more pick up, than I will get rid of this people pleasing mentality.

My voice?

It is reactive and has a voice of a victem. I changed it to more of a confident and dominant voice.

Is my emotion pusing me in to some thing or dragging me away?

I don't know. I am not aware of it now

What is the signal from my emotions?

That I have a victim mentality

 

I need to practice myself to stop blaming other peopl and specialy blaming other people for being joudging me.

[Ananya]

You know, my life has been the paragon of a victim mentality until now. But this mentality is not invincible. In the words of Steve Jobs, Everything changes when you realise that everything around you that you call life was made up by people that are no smarter than you. Now, I am only 18 and have not entered university yet, so I don't know much about life myself.

But I know this - when you sit down for a few minutes each day and be grateful for recieving the gift of life and the gift of consciousness, you are thankful foryour own existence. Just being alive and having the power to think and change your life is a gift, and when you realise this you find unconditional self love that stems from this gratitude. And I stress on unconditional because  this self love remains with you no matter what your situation is. So nothing can truly hurt you, or victimise you.

Furthermore, when you realise how lucky you are just to be alive and have a thinking mind, you want to make sure you dont want to waste your life, and that you will break any beliefs that do not empower you - even if that means you have to fight against some of your own beliefs. I can tell by my own personal experience that becoming aware of your beliefs by monitoring your thoughts when they come and looking at them objectively really helps in shedding off the victim mentality.

Gratitude is the key. It does not allow you to feel sorry for yourself. It does not allow you to lament on this wonderful thing that belongs only to you - your power to change your life. 

[Olafur Thorsteinsson]

 

15 hours ago, Ananya said:

You know, my life has been the paragon of a victim mentality until now. But this mentality is not invincible. In the words of Steve Jobs, Everything changes when you realise that everything around you that you call life was made up by people that are no smarter than you. Now, I am only 18 and have not entered university yet, so I don't know much about life myself.

But I know this - when you sit down for a few minutes each day and be grateful for recieving the gift of life and the gift of consciousness, you are thankful foryour own existence. Just being alive and having the power to think and change your life is a gift, and when you realise this you find unconditional self love that stems from this gratitude. And I stress on unconditional because  this self love remains with you no matter what your situation is. So nothing can truly hurt you, or victimise you.

Furthermore, when you realise how lucky you are just to be alive and have a thinking mind, you want to make sure you dont want to waste your life, and that you will break any beliefs that do not empower you - even if that means you have to fight against some of your own beliefs. I can tell by my own personal experience that becoming aware of your beliefs by monitoring your thoughts when they come and looking at them objectively really helps in shedding off the victim mentality.

Gratitude is the key. It does not allow you to feel sorry for yourself. It does not allow you to lament on this wonderful thing that belongs only to you - your power to change your life. 

Thanks for the insight. I appreciate it.

I am also 18 and just starting my life now

[Olafur Thorsteinsson]

My emotions?

I am feeling confident and congruent

Where am I feeling these emotions?

I feel the feeling of confident in my head. I feel energy going through my chest. I feel normal in my stomach.

My thoughts?

I have been thinking about girls and my life the past 1 hour with a powerful voice. I love feeling this way of confident and being able to be congruent with how I am. I was talking to my father about giving value today, and about enlightenment, which I have never done with him. I feel so alife rigt now.

My Voice?

the voice in my head is confident and powerful

is my emotion pushing me in to some thing or dragging me away?

it is pushing me into being congruent with how I am

what is the signal from my emotion?

I don't know. I am not aware of it

 

[Olafur Thorsteinsson]

My emotional buttons:

• When I do not get enough sleep, then I tend to be lazy the next day and procrastinate.
• When my brother enters my room while I am learning personal development and start talking to me about some shit like he is talking with his ass makes me feel frustrated.
• When I meet a hot girl I tend to get inside my head and start thinking all the ways that I could do to not make her dislike me.
• When I am socializing with many people than I also tend to get inside my head and think of ways that I could do to not make them dislike me.
• When I think about doing meditation, it always makes me feel so bored.
• When I experience growth then I am in flow and super happy
• When I think about Master, the only thing that is boring to me about that are the 10.000 hours that needs to be butted put in

here are few of them and there are many more.

I am now actively working on my social buttons. I know that I have a negative believe there.

My negative believes in social situation:

• What I have to say has to be perfect
• Every body needs to give me approval in order for me to feel happy
• For me it is really important to get approval (it feels like that)
• If some cool kid sees me talking to the weird kids than he will think that I am a weirdo
• I am not very funny
• I feel like I need to impress other people
• I am not that interesting because I do a lot of weird stuff that the other kids do not do. Things like meditation, yoga, learning personal development, pick up.

The new believes and mindset that I want to be with:

• I am funny
• I am interesting
• I am here to give my opinion, not to impress others
• Trying to hard to fit in with the cool kids is a low conscious  behavior
• I can have fun with anyone 
• I don't judge people as cool or weird
• I say thins that I find fun. I say thins that I find interesting
• I am attractive
• If they like me, good. if they don't like me, good. heads, I win. tails, I win.
• I am here to have fun and talk about things that I find funny and interesting
• I love socializing

 

 

[Ananya]

14 hours ago, Ólafur Tryggvi Þorsteinsso said:

My emotional buttons:

• When I do not get enough sleep, then I tend to be lazy the next day and procrastinate.
• When my brother enters my room while I am learning personal development and start talking to me about some shit like he is talking with his ass makes me feel frustrated.
• When I meet a hot girl I tend to get inside my head and start thinking all the ways that I could do to not make her dislike me.
• When I am socializing with many people than I also tend to get inside my head and think of ways that I could do to not make them dislike me.
• When I think about doing meditation, it always makes me feel so bored.
• When I experience growth then I am in flow and super happy
• When I think about Master, the only thing that is boring to me about that are the 10.000 hours that needs to be butted put in

here are few of them and there are many more.

I am now actively working on my social buttons. I know that I have a negative believe there.

My negative believes in social situation:

• What I have to say has to be perfect
• Every body needs to give me approval in order for me to feel happy
• For me it is really important to get approval (it feels like that)
• If some cool kid sees me talking to the weird kids than he will think that I am a weirdo
• I am not very funny
• I feel like I need to impress other people
• I am not that interesting because I do a lot of weird stuff that the other kids do not do. Things like meditation, yoga, learning personal development, pick up.

The new believes and mindset that I want to be with:

• I am funny
• I am interesting
• I am here to give my opinion, not to impress others
• Trying to hard to fit in with the cool kids is a low conscious  behavior
• I can have fun with anyone 
• I don't judge people as cool or weird
• I say thins that I find fun. I say thins that I find interesting
• I am attractive
• If they like me, good. if they don't like me, good. heads, I win. tails, I win.
• I am here to have fun and talk about things that I find funny and interesting
• I love socializing

 

 

I also want to incorporate some new beliefs and mindsets in my life. But I found that it is not a single step process.

For quite some time, I have been playing around with an idea, that can help me integrate all the desired character traits in my life.

Step 1 : What is a character trait ? How and when do we decide that a particular person is self confident, or calm ? I believe that since character traits are intangible things ( for example, we can't touch or hold confidence, or resilience ), they must be concepts, more appropriately labels. And a person's character is an extrapolation of his daily activities and behaviors. It seems to be human nature that we label things. For example, if we see a person doing very well on tests and making deductions quickly , we extrapolate those events , and call that character an intelligent person. If a person talks confidently with everyone , maintains his composure in unfamiliar situations , and shows that he stays true to his beliefs by the way he lives, we would say that that person, is self-confident. 

This means that we first observe a person, or imagine a person doing certain things, and then we decide that the person is confident, or cool or level-headed etc....

This means that if we do the same things as our role models ( who may or may not exist)  very single day, until the day when those actions become second nature to us, we would have acquired the required character trait.

Step 2. : Take a character trait, and then break it down into every day activities.

For example, what would a person that didn't care about fitting in act every day ?

1. He would write down who he was, what his goals were, what his best version would behave like

2. He would make an actionable plan to meet his goals by creating baby steps.

3. He would be skilled at recognizing feelings and effectively change them. For example, suppose what you do doesn't fit in the group. For example, you don't use social media for four hours a day, or party, or slack off playing video games because according to you these are low conscious behaviors. Some 'cool' dude approaches you and tell you how weird you are for standing out, in front of a group of people. What do you do ?

1. Well, the first is the influx of chagrin and discomfort, maybe anger. . These are the feelings you have always experienced until now.

2. Don't give in to the feeling ! Instead run the same thoughts in your mind that the ideal self confident person would experience. The ideal person, the person you want to become, would act indifferent and won't pay any attention to the crowd. What would his thoughts be ? Maybe something like :

" The only person who will decide what I'll do in my life is me."

" So what does cool mean anyway ? Just a concept created by humans. Or an excuse to stay mediocre and not change oneself by handing over the control to the crowd. "

" Do I really want this person to decide for me ? No."

" Let me not waste any energy on this interaction. I have work to do... "

I believe that if I can successfully run these thoughts in my mind BETWEEN the moments of trigger and reaction, I could react differently . And every time I do this, it becomes easier to think the thoughts I want to think, not the thoughts that come naturally. Eventually, I will think the same thoughts for every situation like this, until they become involuntary. That is when I would have acquired the characted trait of not caring about what is cool and what is not.

It's like reprogramming your mind by running programs . Programs, as in a sequence of thoughts and actions you must repeat whenever a stimulus approaches you. I think Systems Thinking helps a lot in visualizing this process. Working the System , by Sam Carpenter, and the blog posts in the Asian Efficiency website are great resources. Imagine if you design a system for your entire life......

The cool thing about this idea is : 

1. You don't have to be born with confidence. You can become confident by doing the daily habits and thinking the thoughts of a confident person and become confident.

2. You don't have to rely on your own feelings for your personal development . By just doing it, you can create the life that you want whether you feel like it or not. This model of thinking emphasizes on doing first. It's cool because you can control everything in your life. I created as many as 6 systems to make myself the strongest version of myself. I am still working the habits....the tricky and hard part of Systems thinking is that you must follow the sequence of actions and thoughts by becoming mindful of every moment of your life. Seriously productive people have a timer that never stops...it just runs in the background forever. They make a note of every hour spent, and then analyse the time log at the end of the week. That is what you have to do here as well, be aware of every single moment, and implement the sequence of thoughts whenever a trigger appears.

 

 

 

 

 

 

1. 

[Olafur Thorsteinsson]

5 hours ago, Ananya said:

I also want to incorporate some new beliefs and mindsets in my life. But I found that it is not a single step process.

For quite some time, I have been playing around with an idea, that can help me integrate all the desired character traits in my life.

Step 1 : What is a character trait ? How and when do we decide that a particular person is self confident, or calm ? I believe that since character traits are intangible things ( for example, we can't touch or hold confidence, or resilience ), they must be concepts, more appropriately labels. And a person's character is an extrapolation of his daily activities and behaviors. It seems to be human nature that we label things. For example, if we see a person doing very well on tests and making deductions quickly , we extrapolate those events , and call that character an intelligent person. If a person talks confidently with everyone , maintains his composure in unfamiliar situations , and shows that he stays true to his beliefs by the way he lives, we would say that that person, is self-confident. 

This means that we first observe a person, or imagine a person doing certain things, and then we decide that the person is confident, or cool or level-headed etc....

This means that if we do the same things as our role models ( who may or may not exist)  very single day, until the day when those actions become second nature to us, we would have acquired the required character trait.

Step 2. : Take a character trait, and then break it down into every day activities.

For example, what would a person that didn't care about fitting in act every day ?

1. He would write down who he was, what his goals were, what his best version would behave like

2. He would make an actionable plan to meet his goals by creating baby steps.

3. He would be skilled at recognizing feelings and effectively change them. For example, suppose what you do doesn't fit in the group. For example, you don't use social media for four hours a day, or party, or slack off playing video games because according to you these are low conscious behaviors. Some 'cool' dude approaches you and tell you how weird you are for standing out, in front of a group of people. What do you do ?

1. Well, the first is the influx of chagrin and discomfort, maybe anger. . These are the feelings you have always experienced until now.

2. Don't give in to the feeling ! Instead run the same thoughts in your mind that the ideal self confident person would experience. The ideal person, the person you want to become, would act indifferent and won't pay any attention to the crowd. What would his thoughts be ? Maybe something like :

" The only person who will decide what I'll do in my life is me."

" So what does cool mean anyway ? Just a concept created by humans. Or an excuse to stay mediocre and not change oneself by handing over the control to the crowd. "

" Do I really want this person to decide for me ? No."

" Let me not waste any energy on this interaction. I have work to do... "

I believe that if I can successfully run these thoughts in my mind BETWEEN the moments of trigger and reaction, I could react differently . And every time I do this, it becomes easier to think the thoughts I want to think, not the thoughts that come naturally. Eventually, I will think the same thoughts for every situation like this, until they become involuntary. That is when I would have acquired the characted trait of not caring about what is cool and what is not.

It's like reprogramming your mind by running programs . Programs, as in a sequence of thoughts and actions you must repeat whenever a stimulus approaches you. I think Systems Thinking helps a lot in visualizing this process. Working the System , by Sam Carpenter, and the blog posts in the Asian Efficiency website are great resources. Imagine if you design a system for your entire life......

The cool thing about this idea is : 

1. You don't have to be born with confidence. You can become confident by doing the daily habits and thinking the thoughts of a confident person and become confident.

2. You don't have to rely on your own feelings for your personal development . By just doing it, you can create the life that you want whether you feel like it or not. This model of thinking emphasizes on doing first. It's cool because you can control everything in your life. I created as many as 6 systems to make myself the strongest version of myself. I am still working the habits....the tricky and hard part of Systems thinking is that you must follow the sequence of actions and thoughts by becoming mindful of every moment of your life. Seriously productive people have a timer that never stops...it just runs in the background forever. They make a note of every hour spent, and then analyse the time log at the end of the week. That is what you have to do here as well, be aware of every single moment, and implement the sequence of thoughts whenever a trigger appears.

 

 

 

 

 

 

1. 

Thanks for yor idea

This remembered me on a consept that I heard 1 and half year ago.

1. Wright down all your limiting believes, especially in those area of your life where you are struggeling. (you tend to have limiting believes in those areas of life where you are struggeling a lot).

2. Wright down all the believes, and mindset that your-ideal self would have in those areas, and over all. Wright how your ideal-self would think, feel, and the behaviors. What would your ideal-self do diffrently. Your ideal-self would value high-conscious values.

3. Make goals and discieplen yourself to work on becoming your ideal self.

 

This is a great tequniqe. Why the fuck did I forget it. I will do it next morning or evening when I have time and wright my resoults here on this page.

Thenks again ;D

[Olafur Thorsteinsson]

My emotions?

I feel confident, and ready

Where do I feel these feelings in my body?

I feel confidence in my head, my chest is calme with a littel bit of confident feeling to it, my stomach is notmal

What are my thoghts?

To day I whent training rescuing people on helecopter and it felt great, I loved it, I was in the moment and I am still in the moment and after that I have been thinking thoughts of my ideal confident self. I was socialysing with every one there, was out side my head and whas having fun and great time. I am so in the mood wright now.

is my emotion pushing me into something or dragging me away?

It is phusing me into being congruent and authentic. It is draging me away from my lover-self

What is the signal from my emotions?

When I am authentic and congruent, when I am myself, then I feel the most happyness

[Olafur Thorsteinsson]

I have not been meditating for almost a month now.

I know that meditating is one of the best habbits that I can put into my practice, but still I am failing at it.

I am comited to do one month of meditations (strong sitting + do nothing) 20 minits eatch day, and starting tomorrow in the morning when I come home from the gym.

[Empty]

On 8/2/2016 at 0:44 AM, Ólafur Tryggvi Þorsteinsso said:

My emotional buttons:

• When I do not get enough sleep, then I tend to be lazy the next day and procrastinate.
• When my brother enters my room while I am learning personal development and start talking to me about some shit like he is talking with his ass makes me feel frustrated.
• When I meet a hot girl I tend to get inside my head and start thinking all the ways that I could do to not make her dislike me.
• When I am socializing with many people than I also tend to get inside my head and think of ways that I could do to not make them dislike me.
• When I think about doing meditation, it always makes me feel so bored.
• When I experience growth then I am in flow and super happy
• When I think about Master, the only thing that is boring to me about that are the 10.000 hours that needs to be butted put in

here are few of them and there are many more.

I am now actively working on my social buttons. I know that I have a negative believe there.

My negative believes in social situation:

• What I have to say has to be perfect
• Every body needs to give me approval in order for me to feel happy
• For me it is really important to get approval (it feels like that)
• If some cool kid sees me talking to the weird kids than he will think that I am a weirdo
• I am not very funny
• I feel like I need to impress other people
• I am not that interesting because I do a lot of weird stuff that the other kids do not do. Things like meditation, yoga, learning personal development, pick up.

The new believes and mindset that I want to be with:

• I am funny
• I am interesting
• I am here to give my opinion, not to impress others
• Trying to hard to fit in with the cool kids is a low conscious  behavior
• I can have fun with anyone 
• I don't judge people as cool or weird
• I say thins that I find fun. I say thins that I find interesting
• I am attractive
• If they like me, good. if they don't like me, good. heads, I win. tails, I win.
• I am here to have fun and talk about things that I find funny and interesting
• I love socializing

 

 

Thanks a lot brother. That was an eye-opening to me. Your case is similiar to mine. So, I will try to use this journal.

Cheers from Morocco!

[Christine Alaby]

Really good analysis of emotions! A lot of which many of us can relate to. Keep it going! You never know where this journal will take you  

[Olafur Thorsteinsson]

I was acting extra in the series Fortitude yesterday and two days ago, so I have not had time to be on the forum. 

It was my first time and it was a good experience to finally be acting extra, but it was boring as hell. When I was younger I was dreaming about becoming an actor, but after this experience my answer is "Hell No". I had to push some kind of box full of things front and back, front and back until I stated dreaming about killing that director. Dame it was one of the most boring thing that i have done in my life. It is more boring than meditation. 

Yes I think that it would be fun to be the leading actor, but to be an extra is hell, unless you have a great people that make you lough when you are waiting between shots.

It was a good to experience this, and special that being an actor is a thing that I do not what to do. Unless if I could get more people into personal development and doing meditation be acting hahahaha

 

[Anna Skywords]

On 2/8/2016 at 6:44 PM, Olafur Thorsteinsson said:

My emotional buttons:

• When I do not get enough sleep, then I tend to be lazy the next day and procrastinate.
• When my brother enters my room while I am learning personal development and start talking to me about some shit like he is talking with his ass makes me feel frustrated.
• When I meet a hot girl I tend to get inside my head and start thinking all the ways that I could do to not make her dislike me.
• When I am socializing with many people than I also tend to get inside my head and think of ways that I could do to not make them dislike me.
• When I think about doing meditation, it always makes me feel so bored.
• When I experience growth then I am in flow and super happy
• When I think about Master, the only thing that is boring to me about that are the 10.000 hours that needs to be butted put in

here are few of them and there are many more.

I am now actively working on my social buttons. I know that I have a negative believe there.

My negative believes in social situation:

• What I have to say has to be perfect
• Every body needs to give me approval in order for me to feel happy
• For me it is really important to get approval (it feels like that)
• If some cool kid sees me talking to the weird kids than he will think that I am a weirdo
• I am not very funny
• I feel like I need to impress other people
• I am not that interesting because I do a lot of weird stuff that the other kids do not do. Things like meditation, yoga, learning personal development, pick up.

The new believes and mindset that I want to be with:

• I am funny
• I am interesting
• I am here to give my opinion, not to impress others
• Trying to hard to fit in with the cool kids is a low conscious  behavior
• I can have fun with anyone 
• I don't judge people as cool or weird
• I say thins that I find fun. I say thins that I find interesting
• I am attractive
• If they like me, good. if they don't like me, good. heads, I win. tails, I win.
• I am here to have fun and talk about things that I find funny and interesting
• I love socializing

 

 

 

[Anna Skywords]

How I am feeling since I have read these journal entries: ) Happy, not alone, good communicator, less afraid, calm, normal, hopeful, free to self educate, free to self actualize, free to be a part of something larger then myself, free to ask the big questions, free to not always have the answers, free from always having to be perfect, on point, or always right. Universally free!!!! 

[Olafur Thorsteinsson]

Another cool exercise to release social anxiety and to become more social skilled.

1. Wright down all your limiting believes in social situation that you can find
2. Wright down all the believes that the ideal human being/"you" has in social situations
3. Make goals to to become that Ideal you

Example from me personally:

• My limiting believes in social situation:
• What I have to say has to be perfect
• Every body needs to give me approval in order for me to feel happy
• For me it is really important to get approval (it feels like that)
• If some cool kid sees me talking to the weird kids than he will think that I am a weirdo
• I am not very funny
• I feel like I need to impress other people
• I am not that interesting because I do a lot of weird stuff that the other kids do not do. Things like meditation, yoga, learning personal development, pick up.

The believes of my ideal self:

• I am funny
• I am interesting
• I am here to give my opinion, not to impress others
• Trying to hard to fit in with the cool kids is a low conscious  behavior
• I can have fun with anyone 
• I don't judge people as cool or weird
• I say thins that I find fun. I say thins that I find interesting
• I am attractive
• If they like me, good. if they don't like me, good. heads, I win. tails, I win.
• I am here to have fun and talk about things that I find funny and interesting
• I love socializing

Goals to become my ideal self:

• watch the video on "how to be funny" from Leo and do the exercises. When I am socializing with people, I am always trying to find the funny things to say or do, and don't take yourself seriously. Important: "Find things that I find funny". (Trying to find funny things for other people to lough at is a form of people pleasing mentality)
• I only talk about things that I find interesting, even if I know that other people might think I am weird for doing it or will not except me. (I can do stair goals for this goal). 
• I am going to be open and tell the truth to everyone. watch the video "How you lie" and read the book "radical openhandedness" and do the exercises. (I can do stair goals for this goal). This is a good exercise to gain reference experiences to "it doesn't matter what other people think of me". 
• Tell your friends that have social anxiety too from that they can improve socially. I f they do not want to improve themselves, then spent less time with them and find friends that are doing personal development. (you tend to be the average of the 5 people that you hangout the most with). 
• Stop judging people of being cool or weird, and start talk to everyone and have fun with everyone. "You don't have to be on the cool table to have fun, you can be on what ever table that is there and have as much fun there as you would have with the cool kids" because you know you are funny interesting and cool. Whats the video "how to stop judging yourself" from Leo and do the exercises. 
• Gaining reference experiences of "it doesn't matter what other people think of me". Go to Club and do some weird shit there. (in general, people don't care what you do in club, because it is a fucking club and that's why it is the best place to practice this.
• Think about your death. You know that you life is short and do you really want to be living your life this way? do I really want to be living my life  in fear of what other people think of me when I got this short time to live? (what other people thought of me when I will be in my grave will not be important then because I will already be dead which means that what other people think of me now is not important) 

Now rank each goal on how important to you it is and wright it in the order of importance.

1. watch the video on "how to be funny" from Leo and do the exercises. When I am socializing with people, I am always trying to find the funny things to say or do, and don't take yourself seriously. Important: "Find things that I find funny". (Trying to find funny things for other people to lough at is a form of people pleasing mentality)
2. I am going to be open and tell the truth to everyone. watch the video "How you lie" and read the book "radical openhandedness" and do the exercises. (I can do stair goals for this goal). This is a good exercise to gain reference experiences to "it doesn't matter what other people think of me".
3. Gaining reference experiences of "it doesn't matter what other people think of me". Go to Club and do some weird shit there. (in general, people don't care what you do in club, because it is a fucking club and that's why it is the best place to practice this.
4. Tell your friends that have social anxiety too from that they can improve socially. I f they do not want to improve themselves, then spent less time with them and find friends that are doing personal development. (you tend to be the average of the 5 people that you hangout the most with). 
5. I only talk about things that I find interesting, even if I know that other people might think I am weird for doing it or will not except me. (I can do stair goals for this goal). 
6. Stop judging people of being cool or weird, and start talk to everyone and have fun with everyone. "You don't have to be on the cool table to have fun, you can be on what ever table that is there and have as much fun there as you would have with the cool kids" because you know you are funny interesting and cool. Whats the video "how to stop judging yourself" from Leo and do the exercises. 
7. Think about your death. You know that you life is short and do you really want to be living your life this way? do I really want to be living my life  in fear of what other people think of me when I got this short time to live? (what other people thought of me when I will be in my grave will not be important then because I will already be dead which means that what other people think of me now is not important) 
8.  

The golden rule: Telling other people from things that you find interesting, other people tend to get interest into it also. Telling other people something you find funny, than other people tend to lough at it too.

Tip 1: We are always looking outside into our environment on other people and specially on the most assertive and the most dominant people, what they think, what they do, what they believe, and we tend to think, do, and believe the same things. When someone finds something really interesting, then we tend to be interested into it too. When someone find something really funny, than we tend to find it funny too because we are always looking outside into the environment.

This is way it is so important for you to handout with people that are doing personal development and not with you friends that have social fears and do not want to work on them.

Tip 2: Knowing this now, you can impact others in more powerful way then before. "It is about how you say it, not what you say". When you are telling someone from something funny thing that you find funny, then explain it to him in a funny way, but some energy into it, but your voice into it, and your body, and lough like it is the funniest think ever. The same think when you are telling something from a thing that you find interesting, like meditation. You tell him from it in a interesting way and you are putting your voice into it, your body, and he will tend to find it meditation interesting thing. If he does not find meditation interesting, than he will become weird to you in a way, and now you know that you won't be spending much time with him, because he is not interesting to you. 

[Olafur Thorsteinsson]

Stair goals means that you have a big goal like "I am only going to talk about things that I find interesting"

What are the things that I find interesting that I think other people might find weird and I do not talk about to other people?

• Meditation
• Enlightenment
• Personal development
• Sex
• Pick up
• Yoga

Now I rank them and put them in the order of most easiest to the most hardest. 

1. Personal development
2. Yoga
3. Meditation
4. sex 
5. pick up
6. Enlightenment 

Now I will start with the easiest which is talking to other people about personal development. When I have finished that goal, I will go talk about yoga to everybody, then meditation, and so on.

[Sattu]

Hi

     What i found working  for me. whatever my weakness is . i have listened the vedio and journals. Finally I have done this. just one example.

Said by Leo Gura(Its golden word for me)

Excercise and Meditations should be done daily and in fixed time, else don't do that it will frustrate you.

I involved 1 above and 7 more quotes in my prayer . I am remembering these words daily. 8,10 a.m. 12 3 5 pm and while i am sleeping daily at least six time i am repeating these words as prayer its working for me.

[Olafur Thorsteinsson]

@Sattu

Hi Sattu. Great that it helps you.

I also think that is a great point. 

I recognised myself be doing to much and I became frustrated and stressful. So now I am cutting my "to do" list down to the things that are the most important to me. 

[Sattu]

Thanks Brother and please let me know whenever you will find which will start working for you.(:-))