BIG Question about Personal Development. Please share your insights.

[Javfly33]

Today, I was thinking about this stuff and I´ve come to the conclusion that I AM REALLY CONFUSED regarding this topic: I don´t understand quite right how personal development (or self actualization) really works . This is why:

(group 1)There is a lot of people that get into this field, becase they have problems in their life big enough that motivates them to take a step into the self-honesty path that involves self-actualization. It involves letting go of things, of addictions, facing fears, assuming LOTS of responsability, in general a lot of times it involves uncomfortable and pain.

(group 2) In the other hand, people, that, while they are not actualized nor conscious, because they dont have big enough problems, they are not motivated to take a step towards personal development.

So this is what I don´t understand, or better said, I see it as "mindfuck" and Im not sure if I am getting it correctly or it is a self-deception : How come people (group 1) that have bigger problems than the second group (group 2) , (lets say = group 1 they are more "stucked" in the mud than the second group) get into self-actualization, and from that moment, they aspire to be enlightened, or at least master they emotions, be totally conscious, confident etc.

How come from that moment group 1 aspire to be less stuck that group 2, wouldnt be more congruent to just aspire to the  situation of group 2, and then from that point, aspire (if wanted) to master self-actualization? I can´t see how group 1 can just aspire to all that things that are way beyond group 2, while at that moment being below group 2 also.

Edited October 14, 2018 by Javfly33

[DavidK]

Suffering is like a feedback signal calling the individual to explore why they are suffering.

Suffering is not required though and many people get into PD motivated just by the idea they can improve there "stats" like a character in a video game. 

[SFRL]

Some people complain more then others. 

Just because one group isn't complaining doesn't mean that they don't have problems and are not actively trying to get better. 

Edited October 14, 2018 by SFRL

[Mu_]

16 hours ago, Javfly33 said:

Today, I was thinking about this stuff and I´ve come to the conclusion that I AM REALLY CONFUSED regarding this topic: I don´t understand quite right how personal development (or self actualization) really works . This is why:

(group 1)There is a lot of people that get into this field, becase they have problems in their life big enough that motivates them to take a step into the self-honesty path that involves self-actualization. It involves letting go of things, of addictions, facing fears, assuming LOTS of responsability, in general a lot of times it involves uncomfortable and pain.

(group 2) In the other hand, people, that, while they are not actualized nor conscious, because they dont have big enough problems, they are not motivated to take a step towards personal development.

So this is what I don´t understand, or better said, I see it as "mindfuck" and Im not sure if I am getting it correctly or it is a self-deception : How come people (group 1) that have bigger problems than the second group (group 2) , (lets say = group 1 they are more "stucked" in the mud than the second group) get into self-actualization, and from that moment, they aspire to be enlightened, or at least master they emotions, be totally conscious, confident etc.

How come from that moment group 1 aspire to be less stuck that group 2, wouldnt be more congruent to just aspire to the  situation of group 2, and then from that point, aspire (if wanted) to master self-actualization? I can´t see how group 1 can just aspire to all that things that are way beyond group 2, while at that moment being below group 2 also.

Groups 1 suffering is a big motivater (this can't be underestimated).  Really being in the suck will give you the energy to look into why your in the suck and whats the factors causing it and the energy to surrender or make changes to correct the suck. 

Group 2 is pretty content and the nature of change being one that can cause some resistance or discomfort for a number of people (some say the right perspective can change how much this discomfort is in change) causes group 2 to easily fall back to "hmm my lifes alright the way it is" and not look deeper into the rabbit hole of existence.

[aurum]

@Javfly33

Because once you’ve accepted that you have to change, you realize that stagnation will always be a failing strategy. You know that “group 2”, even though it looks the same every year, is actually death by comfort. You realize that being in nonresistance to change and evolving is actually easier than holding on.

[Leo Gura]

Your two groups are a rather arbitrary dichotomy. The self-help industrry is gigantic and draws in all sorts, young to old, suffering to ambitious, depressed to happy, losers to successful.

There's not a single person wouldn't benefit from some form of self help. Your entry point will vary: a bad relationship, desire for more money, desire to calm your emotions, desire to be more confident, etc.

Hell, you could study this stuff purely for intellectual curiosity, as I like to do.

[Charlotte]

@Leo Gura Leo why did you initially show an interest in psychology?

[Aquafinafloe]

It's sad the depths people go into seeking their selfworth...it is lovely to make yourself more aware in life  through study and engagement. But throwing yourself into a mental spiral and over analyzing simple concepts?n

Never.,.

 

 

 

Alot of people will never see their true value because their self seeking is never based on self

[SFRL]

 

[CreamCat]

YouTube is down.

[StardewValley]

There are two kinds of people:

the typical people who are basically just walking dead

the people who are rejected socially at first and are confused until they start their self-improvement journey and such and end up being the real winners in the end. This group was never comfortable with the normal standard way of living. They always wanted something bigger. That's why they never fit in with others. 

[Pilgrim]

7 hours ago, StardewValley said:

the people who are rejected socially at first and are confused until they start their self-improvement journey and such and end up being the real winners in the end. This group was never comfortable with the normal standard way of living. They always wanted something bigger. That's why they never fit in with others. 

Is your ego telling you that? 

Yes, suffering seems to be the biggest motivator to get into self-help and developing yourself, probably not the only.. but by far the most common. And I would also argue (big assumption though) that people who are dissatisfied with society/the world share some common characteristics. Mostly they are rather introverted, introspective, deep thinker/feeler types.. the world is definitely not made for people like that, so eventually problems start to arise. Our current system does not really satisfy the specific needs of this "group", because the majority of people are wired differently.. and that is why we have to find different answers and aim for something different than the majority in order to be satisfied.. 

 

Edited October 17, 2018 by Pilgrim

[StardewValley]

@Pilgrim I could have worded it in a way that sounds neutral and intellectual, but instead I chose to be radically honest. 

Here is my attempt at the neutral and intellectual wording, for laughs:

Everybody has a certain "state" that they feel good at. If people are in their state then they feel good and stay the same permanently, because it is basically their purpose in life. Most people's states are mediocore such as being a plumber or a pizza delivery man. They are happy there and that's fine; the world needs plumbers and pizza delivery men (although I would advocate for a vegan alternative). However, there are also people whose states are higher such as a leader of a group or someone important. These people, like everybody else, feel uncomfortable until they reach their state. They need to gravitate towards their state and won't feel comfortable until they get there. They also won't fit in with people of lower states; they need to gravitate towards other leaders and such, which can take a while. It's like a drop of oil at the bottom of a cup of water; it has to gravitate all the way up through the water to the top so it can be with the rest of the oil. 

[Joseph Maynor]

Here's the thing: your entire life is personal development.  The only difference between those of us who study and practice personal development and the rest of the people running around, is we take 100% responsibility for our personal development.  We push ourselves to grow.  Not everybody does that.  So, whatever reason you have for pushing yourself to grow is less important than the fact that you're the kind of person that pushes himself/herself to grow.  So, people vary in the degree to which they push themselves to grow.  There's a spectrum on that issue.  People that are masters at personal development have years under their belts of pushing themselves to grow.  I've basically been pushing myself to grow since my mid-teens.  In my 20's, I was pushing myself to grow.  In my 30's, I was pushing myself to grow.  Now I'm 40, and still pushing myself to grow.  So, that pushing yourself to grow is really the golden egg in the field of Personal Development.  You either have that or you don't.  It's like love for Truth in that sense, you either have that or you don't.  For Enlightenment, love of the literal truth is the golden egg.

Edited October 17, 2018 by Joseph Maynor