Subjective / Objective

[Telepresent]

A lot of people seem willing to tell other people how they should / will / eventually evolve into / must feel, think, experience. It seems to be prevalent in this forum. I'm sick of it and think it's total bull. Discuss. 

 

[cirkussmile]

1 hour ago, Telepresent said:

A lot of people seem willing to tell other people how they should / will / eventually evolve into / must feel, think, experience. It seems to be prevalent in this forum. I'm sick of it and think it's total bull. Discuss. 

 

You are right. 

But without it, no forum  

[Shin]

1 hour ago, Telepresent said:

A lot of people seem willing to tell other people how they should / will / eventually evolve into / must feel, think, experience. It seems to be prevalent in this forum. I'm sick of it and think it's total bull. Discuss. 

 

Why does it pisses you off ?

[Telepresent]

@cirkussmile But I want to be right and fuck you!

[cirkussmile]

2 minutes ago, Telepresent said:

@cirkussmile But I want to be right and fuck you!

What you talking about is advanced and very hard to see if you are new to this or haven’t done enough meditation or contemplation.

You are right and I love you ❤️??

[Telepresent]

12 minutes ago, Shin said:

Why does it pisses you off ?

Cos I feel like it's "wrong". Discuss

[GeoLura]

@Telepresent  Well, very few ppl are actually enlightened. The others have spiritual egos, and want to be seen as masters in this "enlightenment theory". It's just basic dogma, you can't escape it in the current world we're living.

[seeking_brilliance]

@Telepresent I think it's a matter of perspective. 

From Telepresent's perspective, you can see how explaining the unexplainable is a distraction / hinderance/ misleading. 

From a new seeker's perspective, these hints or others experiences solidify something to actually seek. Something to look for and look forward to. Even if it is misleading. It validates our calling. Our searching. 

Eventually all hints and others' experiences must be dropped when the Seeker notices the hindrance. But if dropped too soon, the Seeker may give up. By this point they may have not learned to seek within.  

Also, is not asking or seeking other's experiences and explanations a form of self inquiry in itself? I say leave no stone unturned. 

 

[Shin]

2 hours ago, Telepresent said:

Cos I feel like it's "wrong". Discuss

2 hours ago, Telepresent said:

@cirkussmile 

What feels wrong ?

You need to give more details.

Did you get valuable advices from this type of people or not ?

And if you didn't, is it because you didn't try what they told you to do ?

[Torkys]

Why does it feel wrong to you? What aspect of your identity gets triggered by this?

[Forestluv]

5 hours ago, Telepresent said:

A lot of people seem willing to tell other people how they should / will / eventually evolve into / must feel, think, experience. It seems to be prevalent in this forum. I'm sick of it and think it's total bull. Discuss. 

For me, that type of energy often boils down to subconscious insecurities.

[Telepresent]

Hey all. Sorry for being aggressive yesterday: alcohol + personal frustration = terse aggressive Telepresent, apparently. 

@Serotoninluv Is bang on the money. Insecurity on my part that maybe I'm going absolutely nowhere, and people saying should/must etc. triggering that insecurity. 

It does come from a genuine place though. I think the reason it feels "wrong" to me is that telling someone how they 'should' be can be an invalidation of their experience, which can lead to self-blame or frustration when they can't do what they "should" be able to. I've had a lot of that in my life and it's led to a lot of self-resentment and feelings of failure and not being 'good enough'.

Ah, it's all my bullshit really. Big case of projection

[seeking_brilliance]

@Telepresent you unblocked something and dealt with it. Sounds like a step forward to me, but of course I shouldn't tell you how to feel ?

I like when you pose discussion topics, just don't be so aggressive and participate! 

Here's a fun idea : do you find it interesting how alcohol turned Telepresent into a naughty boy? Would you consider this to still be Telepresent, or a version of Telepresent? What would be the difference? 

Edited October 14, 2018 by seeking_brilliance

[Telepresent]

@seeking_brilliance That was Hector. Hector is my chimp (as described by Steve Peters in The Chimp Paradox). That is, the pre-rational part of my mind, concerned with chimp-y things: sex, status, hierarchy, winning, safety, survival, ownership, danger, etc. 

There is also HAL, the part of my mind capable of thinking in rational and more abstract terms. 

Telepresent (in terms of mind, at least) shifts continually between being more HAL or more Hector, usually neither entirely one or the other, but Hector has far more influence, impact, and control than I might like. 

Hector is very black-and-white in his worldview. This is true of chimps in general, but especially so for Hector as, due to influences from when I was very young, he is now codependent. Codependent people have trouble seeing the world in shades of grey - everything is an extreme. I am either the best person in the entire world, or the worst; perfect or evil (and in a great piece of doublethink, I'm usually both at the same time).  Hector also struggles to regulate his reality against other people: believing himself to usually be in the wrong, if someone else says "the world is like this" he will take that on board as truth. Even if HAL might know otherwise, Hector's belief is stronger. 

Which is why he reacts so badly to 'should' - he doesn't have the ability to put up a psychological or emotional boundary to protect him from that. If he 'should', but doesn't/can't/won't, then he must be a failure. 

Most of the time Hector is fearful, and generally avoids confrontation. In fact his bar for confrontation is so low, very often the other person involved doesn't even realise a confrontation is taking place! To them it's just conversation. But unless both parties are 100% in harmonious agreement, to Hector that is confrontation. Hector sees that as a threat, and so goes into fight-flight-freeze: usually fleeing or freezing. It's rare that Hector fights. 

The difference is when he is drunk. Then he is much more likely to slip over to the "I am better than everyone else" pole, and therefore much more likely to fight. And because he only deals in black-and-white, everything that is not 100% harmonious becomes a fight. 

It's really rather exhausting

[seeking_brilliance]

@Telepresent I hope that felt good to get off your chest (not that I'd tell you how to feel ?) 

 

 

[Telepresent]

@seeking_brilliance Thanks. It's a useful thing to remind myself of