Lost in the sauce while dating

[josue]

Hi, 

I need some advice from someone who's got more experience with dating, relationships, and women in general. When it comes to dating I'm new and have little experience. I've never had a girlfriend and I've always been scared of good looking females( I think it might be because as a kid I was considered a skinny shy wimp and I've been rejected by every girl I asked out) but I have three good looking sisters who i'm not afraid of. I'm finally getting some success I've been on dates with some girls. been talking to someone recently and we've been on a few dates. However, on the second date I got scared and asked her to be my girlfriend but she said she wants to be friends first. I'm constantly worried about what to say to her while texting (although i'm getting better slowly), I'm always thinking about whether or not we'll be able to hit it off, whether or not I'll be able to act like my normal self with her, or whether or not she'll eventually be my girlfriend; or if she'll find some other cooler guy than me and what she thinks of me.  When these thoughts come to my head I get anxious, irritated, angry, sad to the point of feeling helpless and I try to seek some way to remove the feelings usually just a car ride. I can't think straight with this situation. I know a lot of this can be cured with experience but i don't really know what to do besides fail until eventually I succeed.

 

[Equanimitize]

Meditate more. 

[aurum]

@josue

Keep putting yourself out there and seeing where you might be going wrong. Study female psychology, there’s lot of teachers online who you can find with a quick search. And keep up any spiritual work you might be doing.

[SFRL]

@josue never again ask a girl on the second date to be your girlfriend. 

[Forestluv]

@josue This seems like a lot of nervous energy. It may get better with practice, yet there may also be something deeper going on - e.g. looking outside of oneself for completion, validation to get relief from inner insecurity.

I’d do some introspective work, develop self love and get grounded.

[josue]

@Serotoninluv Yeah getting rid of a lifetime of negative thoughts is tough. thanks for the advice bro