Why do girls seem to recover faster after a breakup?

[billiesimon]

Of course I've seen some cases of boys recovering faster, but the general trend I've seen and also confirmed by friends and acquaintances is that girls have a very quick and deep downfall and then a sudden rising of mood and self esteem, while boys tend to remain calmly depressed, in a steady manner for a long time, also remaining inactive for a bit. That's also my personal experience. My exes moved on very fast even though they were affectionate and loving towards me, while I remained somehow below the surface of neutrality (between apathetic and depressed) for a long time, with a tendency to stay idle.

 

In my opinion girls move on faster because they have a lot of options to forget about their last bf. They breakup already texting and keeping contact with new guys, and this helps them to enjoy their new dating life almost immediately.

What's your take on this? I appreciate female opinions especially  

[Spiral]

Girls recover faster in general, although they suffer more during the recovery process, It’s in their DNA.

If a girl was all miserable and alone for a long time while having a baby or being pregnant things wouldn’t work out very well in the wild.

The options and affection from other guys probably help.

[billiesimon]

21 minutes ago, Spiral said:

Girls recover faster in general, although they suffer more during the recovery process, It’s in their DNA.

If a girl was all miserable and alone for a long time while having a baby or being pregnant things wouldn’t work out very well in the wild.

The options and affection from other guys probably help.

Yeah, that's probably the reason! But isn't it unfair for boys?

I mean, men in the wild didn't have the luxury to waste their time too. So why do we suffer longer? I don't get it.

[Leo Gura]

@billiesimon What are you talking about? Girls get far more emotionally attached to guys, all else being equal. Your perspective is way self-centered on this issue.

Girls get so attached to guys that they will stay with the guy even if he beats her and treats her like shit. This is a very serious problem for women.

Also, not all girls are socialites with 100s of friends. Tons of introverted girls out there. And finding a good guy is not easy. Not every random dick will do.

[billiesimon]

58 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

@billiesimon What are you talking about? Girls get far more emotionally attached to guys, all else being equal. Your perspective is way self-centered on this issue.

Girls get so attached to guys that they will stay with the guy even if he beats her and treats her like shit. This is a very serious problem for women.

Also, not all girls are socialites with 100s of friends. Tons of introverted girls out there. And finding a good guy is not easy. Not every random dick will do.

Hey Leo.

Well, I never said that there are no women under a dark spell in a relationship. Of course there are and I'm sorry for them.

I'm just talking about the average decently sociable girl, which has a lot of support from friends and a lot of parties where to find new boyfriends.

[Spiral]

@billiesimon Fair and fair, life’s not fair and girls suffer more when they suffer. So in the end it’s kinda the same.

Besides if you already fertilised the girl and then break up and then die in the wild, evolution is still going to pass down your genes assuming the girl and the baby survives.

Think about these things from a stone age perspective.

Edited October 11, 2018 by Spiral

[bejapuskas]

@billiesimon  It is basically a little different from person to person. I think that most people are the same, because most people are affected by group think. To me, if the woman is attracted to the guy from the stone age perspective, then she wont leave, but if the guy is just needy low consciousness person, she will leave without any serious problems, because she realizes, that she cannot really have kids with a guy like that and her perspective was wrong. I might be wrong, this is just my point of view.

[SFRL]

Of course everything differs from person to person. 

That being said I am getting more and more convinced that it by large has to do with how men and women get conditioned. 

The vast majority of the women has a "I am the price" mentality.

Only a small percentage of the guys have that same "I am the price" mentality. 

If you really deep down believe that you are the price, and it's their loss, it's easier to move on. 

Edited October 11, 2018 by SFRL

[Samra]

 

1. Women are stronger emotionally, because they need to be, both culturally and evolutionary.. That might seem like they have moved on faster. But that's not the case. To most men who don't know what to do with their feeling of hurt it might seem that way.

2. Women generally have closer emotional support from other women. So they learn from each other, also they embrace each other's pain. That makes them stronger, so they can hide their feelings to the rest of the world.

3. Women are caution about showing too much emotion, especially to their ex. That makes them look hysterical, or clingy. So they pretend that they have moved on. 

4. Women might replace one relationship with another quite fast ( same with men ) but if a woman is in love, no amount of sex will replace that for her. Only time will heal things. And new love.

Women don't move on faster. But we are better in handling the emotional heart breaks in the long term.

Edited October 11, 2018 by Samra

[billiesimon]

14 minutes ago, Samra said:

 

1. Women are stronger emotionally, because they need to be, both culturally and evolutionary.. That might seem like they have moved on faster. But that's not the case. To most men who don't know what to do with their feeling of hurt it might seem that way.

2. Women generally have closer emotional support from other women. So they learn from each other, also they embrace each other's pain. That makes them stronger, so they can hide their feelings to the rest of the world.

3. Women are caution about showing too much emotion, especially to their ex. That makes them look hysterical, or clingy. So they pretend that they have moved on. 

4. Women might replace one relationship with another quite fast ( same with men ) but if a woman is in love, no amount of sex will replace that for her. Only time will heal things. And new love.

Women don't move on faster. But we are better in handling the emotional heart breaks in the long term.

Thanks! I really appreciate the honest and deep answer.

Regarding (1): is it possible for a young man as myself to develop this? And how do you suggest doing it?

Regarding (2): I have a very close female friend who's very feminine, and she listened to my issues about my last breakup. Do you think it is a nice form of becoming emotionally healthy for a man? 

Regarding (3): why? if the breakup is peaceful and openly discussed (as my breakups have been) what's the point in hiding feelings? I don't get it. You can breakup in an honest manner.

[Samra]

@billiesimon

36 minutes ago, billiesimon said:

Thanks! I really appreciate the honest and deep answer.

Regarding (1): is it possible for a young man as myself to develop this? And how do you suggest doing it?

Regarding (2): I have a very close female friend who's very feminine, and she listened to my issues about my last breakup. Do you think it is a nice form of becoming emotionally healthy for a man? 

Regarding (3): why? if the breakup is peaceful and openly discussed (as my breakups have been) what's the point in hiding feelings? I don't get it. You can breakup in an honest manner.

Thanks for being honest and open yourself. I hope your heart heals fast <3 

1. What I said was general. I think you are already doing the work. This inquiry shows your deep interest and good heart. So you are already much stronger than you think. Life will throw things at you, and you will learn to handle it. Just be honest, loving and forgiving with yourself.

2. Yes. Having friends are always great. Especially of the opposing gender. Just remember to have your own judgment check, and be aware of other people's bitterness. Also refer that you and your friends are all very young. So be aware of levels of emotional maturity, which can be earned by age and experience. Girl friends are super supportive, sometimes too supportive. But let your girl friend healing feminine energy help you. 

3. Because matters of the heart are fucking complicated. Break up with a loved one is hard. No matter how peaceful it looks. It's confusing. Physically challenging. Emotionally exhausting.... So you hide all of that, if you can. And most women are very good at that. 

[billiesimon]

48 minutes ago, Samra said:

@billiesimon

Thanks for being honest and open yourself. I hope your heart heals fast <3 

1. What I said was general. I think you are already doing the work. This inquiry shows your deep interest and good heart. So you are already much stronger than you think. Life will throw things at you, and you will learn to handle it. Just be honest, loving and forgiving with yourself.

2. Yes. Having friends are always great. Especially of the opposing gender. Just remember to have your own judgment check, and be aware of other people's bitterness. Also refer that you and your friends are all very young. So be aware of levels of emotional maturity, which can be earned by age and experience. Girl friends are super supportive, sometimes too supportive. But let your girl friend healing feminine energy help you. 

3. Because matters of the heart are fucking complicated. Break up with a loved one is hard. No matter how peaceful it looks. It's confusing. Physically challenging. Emotionally exhausting.... So you hide all of that, if you can. And most women are very good at that. 

Great explanation, now I understand a lot more. But I needed the perspective of a woman, especially one on the path of self actualization. I've had problems in understanding the feminine in the past and now I'm on the path of rediscovering it.

Also, a big problem I had to remove, and I'm on the right track now, is anima possession and seeing women as cold and manipulative, which has damaged me a lot in the past.

Thanks again  much love

[Samra]

Love and Respect to you for your passion and hard work <3

[Guest Mount Bananas]

Even though this video is technically tips for how to get over a breakup as a guy, he mentions several times the differences as to how and why girls get over a breakup faster than guys. Check it out if you're interested.

[billiesimon]

2 hours ago, Mount Bananas said:

Even though this video is technically tips for how to get over a breakup as a guy, he mentions several times the differences as to how and why girls get over a breakup faster than guys. Check it out if you're interested.

Thanks! I like RSD in general!

[Thesingularity]

They get approached more by guys than guys that vice versa. I agree with @Leo Gura  in saying that any dick wouldn't do but Imagine if you get compliments every day on your looks. I know that not all girls get that compliments but an average girl with good eating habit, work out plan and knowledge of make up can get herself to look really appealing to most guys. The compliments help with self steem and confidence and dont forgot girls get the same attention even in relationship and even the most faithful girl know who is attracted in her and observing them so the rebound partner is ready if and when their relationship ends. 

[pluto]

Males are taught and conditioned by society to suck it up and be a man, be tough and be strong. We hold things in more, while girls tend to release them and cry, talk to friends, talk to others. Of course like others hand mentioned there are introverted girls but having more femanine energy they cry and release emotions easier while males usually prefer to get hit by buses then let any tears flow.

Again this is different for spiritually mature males that are more connected to the divine feminine energy, myself i cried a lot which really helped me because of the chemical exchange and energetics of tears released are naturally anti-depressants. Our body is truly a perfect example of divine intelligence. Even our saliva has painkilling effects proven to be 5x stronger than regular morpheme thus why children naturally lick their wounds.

Plenty of different answers, just thought i'd throw in my 2c