Why do left brained men exist?

[Girzo]

5 minutes ago, Timotheus said:

One rather obvious point that's often overlooked is just lack of opportunities.

Yup, that hurts the most.

Thanks God there's Tinder, a salvation for all the introvert gals and guys.

Seriously, that shit works. It's 2018, you probably do everything through internet, so why not date that way, too?

[MsNobody]

Yes, that's a problem I'm having, I like quiet and introvert guys (not all) but most of the introvert guys are also shy and do not have much experience with women, I'm 28yo I will probably have to find someone older.

That's such an interesting topic I have the impression introvert guys have higher intellect, while the extrovert love to talk but nothing of much value , what could also be happening is that the fact the quiet talk less a "mystery" is created so I presume they are smarter, but what I've found is that introverts are more intelligent, don't know.

What I also realized about myself is that the more PD work I do the more introverted I become. Interesting

[ajasatya]

introversion and shyness may be highly correlated. but there's no direct implication between them.

they probably have a common cause, though.

i am an introvert but i'm not shy. i was shy and the root cause for my shyness and introversion was too much time spent alone during childhood.

introversion is fine. shyness is a problem because it's rooted in fear.

[MM1988]

@NoSelfSelf I barely have opportunities, i the last 10 years I got 3 dates out of tinder which rejected me and 3 times made a move in a social circle ending with rejection. My job is male only, I live in a small town and there are barely single women my age.

 

Left brained means you are more on the autism spectrum than the general population, which make you good with STEM type fields but gives you a hard time with understanding social cues and how dating works. Basically seducing women will remain a mistery for you. As a left brained guy you want dating to work in a neurotic way with a logical number of fixed steps. But thats not what secducing a women is about, I know this but I just cant get it into my behaviour and thinking. I just dont work that way.

You shouldnt be required to learn this stuff from books, I mean its the most primal thing, attracting a women should be in your instincts. Most right brained people dont even have a single thought about it and it works. If you have that kind of autistic brain and thinking process you are just cut off from society, thats what it feels like.

I dont get how these genes are still around. I suspect its a bit like why gays exist, their brain is wired in a evolutionary wrong way so that they wont spread their genes, but they are still around because they serve a reason (Gay uncle theory: https://www.livescience.com/6106-gay-uncles-pass-genes.html). The same way left brained people are around to not spread their genes and take over these logical STEM tasks society needs.

In a way this is their life purpose, they are here on this earth to win nobel prices and advance physics in the best case but most of them will just end up as corporate programmers in a cubicle or something because right brained people can't do these tasks properly. The sooner you accept who you are and why you are here the better I guess, In a way its a gift but also a curse at the same time. 

Edited October 11, 2018 by MM1988

[NoSelfSelf]

@MM1988 I thought you said you had approached that girl and had another on hold...how small i mean there must be dozens of single girls and why it should be specifically your age? All other things i see are bs negative programming dating is a skill that everyone can learn but someone will be better like in everything more experience etc.

[Girzo]

@MM1988 With this comment you have proved you are talking shit. Get out of your bubble.

27 minutes ago, MM1988 said:

I live in a small town and there are barely single women my age.

If it's your problem, move out. People do it all the time.

27 minutes ago, MM1988 said:

Left brained means you are more on the autism spectrum than the general population, which make you good with STEM type fields but gives you a hard time with understanding social cues and how dating works. Basically seducing women will remain a mistery for you. As a left brained guy you want dating to work in a neurotic way with a logical number of fixed steps. But thats not what secducing a women is about, I know this but I just cant get it into my behaviour and thinking. I just dont work that way.

Dating is very logical, but you also have to put emotional work, which is what most people are avoiding.

27 minutes ago, MM1988 said:

You shouldnt be required to learn this stuff from books, I mean its the most primal thing, attracting a women should be in your instincts. Most right brained people dont even have a single thought about it and it works. If you have that kind of autistic brain and thinking process you are just cut off from society, thats what it feels like.

We live in artifical society, not primal jungle, so artificial solutions like books and video courses are needed.

This whole distinction between right-brain and left-brain stinks of victim mentality. Drop it for your own benefit. This is an abuse of a model in order to push egoic agenda.

Edited October 11, 2018 by Girzo

[MM1988]

@NoSelfSelf another on hold? I'm not the kind of guy who has girls on hold I get maybe one opportunity every 2 years and I make the most out of them.

 

[MM1988]

@Girzo Maybe it sounds like victim to you but I'm also just finding out who I am. I'm highly neurotic, bad with social stuff, introvert, shy, good at logical stuff and love all nerdy topics for some reason. I'm just the stereotypical left brained guy. I'm sure I'm on the autism spectrum in some way.

 

You have to know who you are as an ego and then accept it. 

Edited October 11, 2018 by MM1988

[NoSelfSelf]

@MM1988 That doesnt matter the most ,what matters is do you understand women? 

[Girzo]

You only accept it in order to start working on these issues in a healthy manner.

Saying "that's who I am" and giving up is even worse than neurotically fighting these parts of ego.

Make strategized effort to change your situation or stop posting threads like this one. It's a Self-Development forum after all, not "comfort me in my own little bubble" forum.

[NoSelfSelf]

@Girzo you hit the bullseye!!

[Emerald]

33 minutes ago, MM1988 said:

@NoSelfSelf I barely have opportunities, i the last 10 years I got 3 dates out of tinder which rejected me and 3 times made a move in a social circle ending with rejection. My job is male only, I live in a small town and there are barely single women my age.

 

Left brained means you are more on the autism spectrum than the general population, which make you good with STEM type fields but gives you a hard time with understanding social cues and how dating works. Basically seducing women will remain a mistery for you. As a left brained guy you want dating to work in a neurotic way with a logical number of fixed steps. But thats not what secducing a women is about, I know this but I just cant get it into my behaviour and thinking. I just dont work that way.

You shouldnt be required to learn this stuff from books, I mean its the most primal thing, attracting a women should be in your instincts. Most right brained people dont even have a single thought about it and it works. If you have that kind of autistic brain and thinking process you are just cut off from society, thats what it feels like.

I dont get how these genes are still around. I suspect its a bit like why gays exist, their brain is wired in a evolutionary wrong way so that they wont spread their genes, but they are still around because they serve a reason (Gay uncle theory: https://www.livescience.com/6106-gay-uncles-pass-genes.html). The same way left brained people are around to not spread their genes and take over these logical STEM tasks society needs.

In a way this is their life purpose, they are here on this earth to win nobel prices and advance physics in the best case but most of them will just end up as corporate programmers in a cubicle or something because right brained people can't do these tasks properly. The sooner you accept who you are and why you are here the better I guess, In a way its a gift but also a curse at the same time. 

... Or perhaps the main impetus of life is not just to pass on the genes. I think this idea gets in the way and muddies the waters quite a lot. You can find a much deeper driving force at work.

Think about it... there are gay people, women live for 30 or 40 years after they're able to have children, prior to the invention of Viagra men past a certain age were unlikely to have children as well,  there are people who are sterile, etc. There's so much that goes against centering child creation at the center of human life and motivation. Certainly, it's a motivating factor... but it's not THE motivating factor like a lot of people think. 

So, I feel like you've trapped yourself in an idea of Social Darwinism and measure your own worth based upon that. you feel like you're failing at the main purpose of your life... which is sex... which then invalidates your own existence based on Social Darwinism... which is likely the root of your low self-esteem. 

It probably also has the underlying effect of believing that gay people, women past child-rearing age, and sterile people are inherently less important and valid than men who are successful with women and attractive women of child-bearing age. And that they're failing at the impetus of life by their very natures as well. And you and them are invalid in the story of significance on this planet. This is a mindset you have... is it not?

Is it the whip you whip yourself with, which also whips others?

[Timotheus]

[Shin]

1 hour ago, MM1988 said:

@Girzo Maybe it sounds like victim to you but I'm also just finding out who I am. I'm highly neurotic, bad with social stuff, introvert, shy, good at logical stuff and love all nerdy topics for some reason. I'm just the stereotypical left brained guy. I'm sure I'm on the autism spectrum in some way.

 

You have to know who you are as an ego and then accept it. 

I was exactly like that.

Yesterday I just make my smart and hot english teacher to miss 10 minutes of her next class because she was too mesmerized by my eyes.

Sorry for the ego trip, but this is as true as it gets, and there is no reason you can't do that kind of things too.

Unless you continue to lie to yourself instead of working hard on your issues, which doesn't define you AT ALL.

Edited October 11, 2018 by Shin

[thehero]

Just to provide a diff perspective - I'm an extrovert with poor social skills

I love talking and connecting to people. It really energizes me and makes me happy. But sometimes I can have fear due to past trauma

Edited October 11, 2018 by thehero

[MM1988]

@Emerald Great post, really got me thinking. But no, its not social darwinism, at least not in that form. I understand its ultimately meaningless if you pass on your genes or not. I understand people who do not pass their genes can contribute great stuff to this world. I dont think gays or sterile people are of lower value.

The root is basically this. Its about a behaviour that you see everyone doing very intuitively and flowing while you have to brute force it into your head and still fail a lot.

You probably dont think about how to take a piss? Imagine you being neurotic about when your bladder is full enough, when is the right time to take a piss, then you go on the toilet and forget how to open your pants and sit down every time, then you wonder how long should stay on the toilet, ... its ridiculous right? You will end up pissing your pants 90% of the time.

[Shin]

52 minutes ago, MM1988 said:

@Emerald Great post, really got me thinking. But no, its not social darwinism, at least not in that form. I understand its ultimately meaningless if you pass on your genes or not. I understand people who do not pass their genes can contribute great stuff to this world. I dont think gays or sterile people are of lower value.

The root is basically this. Its about a behaviour that you see everyone doing very intuitively and flowing while you have to brute force it into your head and still fail a lot.

You probably dont think about how to take a piss? Imagine you being neurotic about when your bladder is full enough, when is the right time to take a piss, then you go on the toilet and forget how to open your pants and sit down every time, then you wonder how long should stay on the toilet, ... its ridiculous right? You will end up pissing your pants 90% of the time.

You only force yourself in the beginning, then it become natural.

If it doesn't, you're only doing techniques instead of also doing inner work.

[Leo Gura]

14 hours ago, MM1988 said:

Becoming rich is a lot of luck.

Becoming rich has nothing do to with luck.

[Leo Gura]

13 hours ago, NoSelfSelf said:

Really? You would be ok with someone to be with you because of shallow reasons?

It's not shallow reasons. Being successful opens a lot of doors. Then love comes. It's not like the girls falls in love with your money. You can lure her in with your success, but then make her fall in love with your personality.

Most girls are not the golddigger types. A few are, but most aren't. If you're intelligent you can use this to your advantage. Become successful, access the hottest girls, and then pick one and make her fall in love with you rather than your money or success.

The best thing about success is that it can buy you access to lots of people, which then gets you a lot of eyeballs, which makes attracting females a lot easier than being just another guy at the club.

The point is, there are pros and cons to each personality style and mating strategy. Nerds have ways of getting laid. Jocks have ways of getting laid. Etc. The only people who don't get laid are those who sit at home complaining on online forums.

There is just 1 tricking to finding girls: GO OUT & BE SOCIAL! That's it! Everything else is minutia.

I don't care who you are or what you look like, if you go out long enough you will attract a girl.

[MM1988]

43 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

The only people who don't get laid are those who sit at home complaining on online forums.

There is just 1 tricking to finding girls: GO OUT & BE SOCIAL! That's it! Everything else is minutia.

Good thing I do both, going out and then complaining afterwards. By the way I really enjoyed the blog video about scepticism this morning, good stuff.

Edited October 12, 2018 by MM1988