Dealing With Insecurities

[Algi]

Basically cut straight to the chase: I have insecurity instilled in me from childhood and I fully admit that. The person who I love, it makes them miserable and I hate seein her that way as well hate feeling insecure. 

I have strong fear of being abandoned because I was abandoned as a child by my mum and my dad. I don't wanto soppy pity messages;in fact I am looking for some solid material of exact how to style approach to reduce neediness, jelousy and fear of abandomment. 

I am considering therapy but I am looking for a strong material that chases the problem to the core. Thank you people

[ArabiaNytes]

Sometimes the most solid approach may sound too direct, even too simple and unreal, but I am responding to your post because I have been in your shoes myself....

It really takes time and patience with yourself in slowly letting go of the fear. Reassurance from your loved one and working on improving your confidence will help your psyche trust that things will be okay. 

You must realize the reality of what is happening here: unjustified fear and jealousy will ultimately push her away. Don't hurt yourself any more. You deserve her love and you deserve to be free from that which binds you. 

It's a simple process through a difficult journey, but it gets easier and eventually ceases.

If you have any questions, feel free to ask.

Edited April 1, 2016 by ArabiaNytes

[Ludwig]

@Algi It might help to look into Narcissism, Covert Narcissism, Co-Dependency. It helps you see how exactly your psyche was manipulated as a child. Putting some conscious light on that can be really helpful. Look into setting boundaries, feeling the emotional body, getting intimate with your inner child, establishing a sense of self-worth, practicing gratitude etc. Some old but good stuff on that is from Pia Mellody (YouTube). Richard Grannon, Ross Rosenberg, Teal Swan might be some people worth looking at.

Besides that the whole area of self love, stuff from Matt Kahn, Bentinho Massaro and enlightenment work in general might help you. 

Take your time for that you brain literally needs to be programmed over time. 

This one is really great:

 

 

Know that you already did the biggest step by acknowledging where you're at. 

Edited April 1, 2016 by Ludwig

[Nathalie]

@Algi The key is really love yourself, your inner child as Ludwig puts it below. Videos, books and maybe therapy (if you think so..) can help.

The more you find your equilibrium the less anxious and jealous, needy you will feel.. Because you will become aware that you really don't need anybody anymore, just learn to enjoy them in the same manner you enjoy yourself.. They may come and go, but you can't be abandoned anymore => you have yourself

What is more, you can be able to accept every feeling as well, honor them and even to savor them. It may seem crazy but they all have their flavours, colors and aliveness. Take a look deep look at them instead of trying to fight them

Best wishes

[Algi]

Thank you guys for great detailed responses, I ' l take a day out and have a look what's the most benefitial. Much appreciated!