Pretty Concerned that My Life Purpose is Actually Fueled by Narcissism

[Flowerfaeiry]

I recently bought Leo's Life Purpose Course and I thought it was changing my life. I had my life purpose and was reading it every day etc. Then a few days ago I had the stark realization that I have many narcissistic tendencies. Whether or not I'm a full blown narcissist isn't really the point, however with that realization, I began to wonder if all the self improvement work and life purpose stuff I've been doing is actually a huge narcissistic game I'm playing with myself and the world. My life purpose is "Using My Knowledge Of Creative Self Expression To Help Others Discover Their Unique Gifts" and I'm absolutely terrified that this is a narcissistic-fueled purpose. I want to help people be creative and to discover their unique creativity, but now I'm worried that the only reason I want to do that, is because it will make ME feel good. 

Has anyone else experienced any thoughts like this? 

[Emerald]

Nothing is ever completely empty of self-focus. Even someone who has transcended the ego does things out of self-focus. It's just that they realize that the self doesn't stop at the barrier of their skin. So, it's normal that your life-purpose is done for ego reasons if you have an ego. There is no escaping it, and you didn't choose it, and it doesn't make you a bad person. Just accept it's the best you can do for now, and continue focusing on becoming more aware. And know that self-focus will still be a thing, even beyond ego. 

[Gabriel Antonio]

1 hour ago, Emerald said:

Nothing is ever completely empty of self-focus.

I agree. 

2 hours ago, Flowerfaeiry said:

"Using My Knowledge Of Creative Self Expression To Help Others Discover Their Unique Gifts" and I'm absolutely terrified that this is a narcissistic-fueled purpose.

I don't think it is. What exactly would you do to realize your purpose? Being an artist?  

Edited October 9, 2018 by Gabriel Antonio

[Martin123]

5 hours ago, Flowerfaeiry said:

I'm absolutely terrified that this is a narcissistic-fueled purpose

Youre fine, a narcissist would be in awe of this being the case. 

[Martin123]

5 hours ago, Flowerfaeiry said:

it will make ME feel good. 

Of course, please pursue your life to feel good. People who are the biggest philanthropists, messiahs, givers, charity sponsors and other ways they choose to serve the well-being of all is because to them it feels incredible.

[aurum]

8 hours ago, Flowerfaeiry said:

I'm absolutely terrified that this is a narcissistic-fueled purpose.

You're definitely not a narcissist.

I think an even better question presented itself here. Which is why are you terrified to be a narcissist? Who told you it's not okay to be selfish?

[Arman]

Most peoples goals are fueled mostly by the desire for personal gain. Most people who say they want to help people or change the world don't actually want that (even though they believe it), but they get off on the identity and juice they get out of it. It's really just a coping mechanism of the ego. 

But we all have these 'narcissistic tendencies', and it's not something to get worried about. It's human nature. We have the base desires of wanting approval, security, control, etc. 

Aurum's got it when he says 'Who told you it's not okay to be selfish?'

You don't need to throw the baby out with the bathwater and assume your goals and drive are worthless because they're motivated by desire. You're taking an emotional and judgemental attitude to 'me-oriented' consciousness, but it's not about right and wrong. Self-less consciousness isn't better because it has any moral high-ground - its simply a more effective operative paradigm WITHIN A CERTAIN CONTEXT. It's useful to get there eventually,  however to get there you have to explore, understand and transcend 'me' oriented consciousness first. Typically you have to get some decent selfishly motivated results first, otherwise, you're just bullshitting yourself when you say you only want to help others. How can one help others when they haven't even proven that they can help themselves? 

Congratulations, this 'serious concern' of yours has granted you an opportunity to be honest with yourself and then accept that wherever you're at is perfectly OK... and in fact, highly opportune.  

Edited October 10, 2018 by Arman

[bejapuskas]

@Flowerfaeiry  I think you might be in the middle of evolution from egotistical orange and green motivations into something higher and healthier. This exact same thing was happening to mee as well a few weeks ago, then it stopped and I did some huge progress in emotional mastery.

[universe]

Every action is selfless because there is no such thing as a self.

Also when you do something that makes you feel good you are also improving your environment.