Look at your fucking hand

[Evelyn]

I looked at my fucking hand and got bored and sleepy. I figured it's not for me because I would just look at various parts without being ablen to focus. Then I took the pencil and focused on its tip and things started to get weird. I started to self inquire and got the feeling I was in a dream, everything felt like just in my head, and then I broke myself . I felt disconnected from my body and mind, like I was an awareness above and beyond my head looking at what my body and mind was doing. It felt like "I" was an automated puppet. I did not feel attached to what it was doing. Most weird and awkward feeling ever. It lasted some minutes then I got back to "normal"...  I felt so much more comfortable identifying with myself... Heh... ... 

Oh and yes, I got the shivers and my bladder almost let go from the fear and realization of it . Now I can feel "myself" resisting so much to do this exercise again

Edited October 9, 2018 by Evelyn

[Psyche_92]

9 minutes ago, Evelyn said:

I looked at my fucking hand and got bored and sleepy. I figured it's not for me because I would just look at various parts without being ablen to focus. Then I took the pencil and focused on its tip and things started to get weird. I started to self inquire and got the feeling I was in a dream, everything felt like just in my head, and then I broke myself . I felt disconnected from my body and mind, like I was an awareness above and beyond my head looking at what my body and mind was doing. It felt like "I" was an automated puppet. I did not feel attached to what it was doing. Most weird and awkward feeling ever. It lasted some minutes then I got back to "normal"...  I felt so much more comfortable identifying with myself... Heh... ... 

Oh and yes, I got the shivers and my bladder almost let go from the fear and realization of it . Now I can feel "myself" resisting so much to do this exercise again

Sounds good.

[Shin]

21 minutes ago, Evelyn said:

I looked at my fucking hand and got bored and sleepy. I figured it's not for me because I would just look at various parts without being ablen to focus. Then I took the pencil and focused on its tip and things started to get weird. I started to self inquire and got the feeling I was in a dream, everything felt like just in my head, and then I broke myself . I felt disconnected from my body and mind, like I was an awareness above and beyond my head looking at what my body and mind was doing. It felt like "I" was an automated puppet. I did not feel attached to what it was doing. Most weird and awkward feeling ever. It lasted some minutes then I got back to "normal"...  I felt so much more comfortable identifying with myself... Heh... ... 

Oh and yes, I got the shivers and my bladder almost let go from the fear and realization of it . Now I can feel "myself" resisting so much to do this exercise again

Why is it weird ?

Isn't what happens everytime you sleep ?

 

[Evelyn]

@Shin It is weird because it feels so "unnatural", like you are not yourself..  but that is the point . In theory it sounds good, in practice is quite scary. Also, it felt like between this body and everything around it there was no difference. And this is how, ladies and gentlemen, people go insane   .

Edited October 9, 2018 by Evelyn

[Hellspeed]

@Shin Have you burned yourself with your lightsaber?

[Shin]

17 minutes ago, Hellspeed said:

@Shin Have you burned yourself with your lightsaber?

Why are you saying that ?

[Flammable]

@Shin because you looked at your hand.

[Shin]

Just now, Flammable said:

@Shin because you looked at your hand.

Ohhhhhhh 

?

[Victor Mgazi]

15 hours ago, Shin said:

You have to die now.

You as a concept that thinks is moving this body, breathing this air, thinking those thoughts.

You don't exist, you never did.

I'm quite litteral, you don't fucking exist, did you ever find something that feels like you ?

Then how can I die if I was never alive /existed? 

Explain this to me like I was a ten year old (simply) 

[Shin]

16 minutes ago, Victor Mgazi said:

Then how can I die if I was never alive /existed? 

Explain this to me like I was a ten year old (simply) 

Letting go of your beliefs and assumptions feels like dying.

You can even kill someone, if your self image is being endangered enough.

You have to let go of your identity, which is all you know about yourself right now.

Ultimately you'll even need to let go of the belief "I'm a human being/a soul-brain behind my eyes".

That is dying.

Except it's only an idea that will die

Not what you really are !

 

[Victor Mgazi]

16 hours ago, Shin said:

You have to die now.

You as a concept that thinks is moving this body, breathing this air, thinking those thoughts.

You don't exist, you never did.

I'm quite litteral, you don't fucking exist, did you ever find something that feels like you ?

[Victor Mgazi]

@Shin

OK so, letting go of my beliefs and identity, that's how I die.  But how will I know this when I've done it, will it be obvious or something? 

[Shin]

7 minutes ago, Victor Mgazi said:

@Shin

OK so, letting go of my beliefs and identity, that's how I die.  But how will I know this when I've done it, will it be obvious or something? 

You don't have to worry.

It will be so obvious that you will laugh at how obvious it was the whole time

☺

[cetus]

2 hours ago, Evelyn said:

I looked at my fucking hand and got bored and sleepy. I figured it's not for me because I would just look at various parts without being ablen to focus. Then I took the pencil and focused on its tip and things started to get weird. I started to self inquire and got the feeling I was in a dream, everything felt like just in my head, and then I broke myself . I felt disconnected from my body and mind, like I was an awareness above and beyond my head looking at what my body and mind was doing. It felt like "I" was an automated puppet. I did not feel attached to what it was doing. Most weird and awkward feeling ever. It lasted some minutes then I got back to "normal"...  I felt so much more comfortable identifying with myself... Heh... ... 

Oh and yes, I got the shivers and my bladder almost let go from the fear and realization of it . Now I can feel "myself" resisting so much to do this exercise again

@Evelyn That's good stuff there. Your on the right track. Sure it feels freaky at first but only because you have always been attached to the body location. Here's a good video @Shin left the other day.

 

[Truth]

@Shin I found this meme it reminded me of your post. 

[Victor Mgazi]

50 minutes ago, Shin said:

You don't have to worry.

It will be so obvious that you will laugh at how obvious it was the whole time

☺

I hope so. I wouldn't want to "believe" that I've done it (died). 

[Shin]

1 hour ago, Victor Mgazi said:

I hope so. I wouldn't want to "believe" that I've done it (died). 

If you stay on this forum and describe what happens to you, you won't.

Otherwise yes, you could delude yourself.

[Evelyn]

@cetus56 I saw that video, is quite good. BTW I just did another exercise fousing on a vase in front of me. I don't know if this has to do with the eyes focusing too much, but it felt like reality was getting foggy, or purple, or dark and sometimes the edges of things got blurry or they shined in an unnatural way. Also parts of the vase seemed to disappear...  I had those visual effects "naturally" during normal breathing meditation where I wouldn't really focus my eyes on anything. Hope is not bad for the eyes... Or my sanity .

[cetus]

@Evelyn Ever try holding your hand about an inch or two above a plain white piece of paper and putting a soft gaze on the fingers? If not give it a try sometime.

It was said that the artist Salvdor Dali would stare at an object and contemplate on it until it lost all association. Which is self evident in his work.