Feeling bad after bullying someone

[Sidi]

THANKS A LOT FOR TAKING YOUR TIME AND READING THIS!

A guy from my class made a bad joke about me. It was a minor thing but for some reason i went berzerk and wanted to hit him (2 guys held me back so nothing happened expect me heavily swearing on him). Now i feel bad for my uncontrolled behavior and that i made him feel scared. I still don't understand how a small joke could trigger me so much. Any advice on handling my guilt would be appreciated. 

[Shadowraix]

You'll probably find some relief apologizing for it.

Otherwise, just feel the guilt. Feel it as it occurs in your body. The idea is to feel your emotion without responding to it.

You can take this deeper to help you not have kneejerk reactions to things. 

Why did you react that way? What did you feel? What about you got threatened from that joke?

[ajasatya]

make true friends. the other dude included.

[Strikr]

I have been there. 

guess what I don't even remember the face of those people

they only reflect their own problem and energy on you, you're not the problem, they believe in their mind that you are.

 

Did you reflect why it hurted you at the first place, why it triggered you ? 

 

you're young, and this doesn't matter, if someone blame you, do not take it for yourself, they are just "nature" playing tricks.

Do what they don't expect. Show them respect but no fear, if you show them your fear, you already lost the battle. And taking a fight will never makes you "better" or "alpha".

 

be proud of who you'are those people will never stay in your life for ever, it's just a moment, take a deep breath, focus on your own work, let them be

 

as bruce lee told us

be water my friend

Edited October 8, 2018 by Strikr

[Nahm]

@Sidi Feels bad because you love him. 

[Sidi]

11 minutes ago, Etherial Cat said:

It seems to me that maybe it has to do with you having something sensitive going with your boundries? Could there be any truth to that?

@Etherial Cat thank you for your helpful reply. That sentence hit me really hard  because it is very true but i wasn't aware of it. I will dig deeper into this in my meditation session and try to find out why i react so heavily when someone steps on my boundaries. And also try and forgive myself. Thanks a lot to you and everybody else for the advice i really appreciate the help and your time.

[PsiloPutty]

Whatever he said to you...…..there's a part of you that you don't like, and that part of you agrees with what the guy said. 

Do a Loving-Kindness meditation and send healing love to yourself and this other guy. 

[aurum]

6 hours ago, Sidi said:

I still don't understand how a small joke could trigger me so much.

Triggers are there to make us alert to what has not been healed in ourselves. Which means your bully hit some deep unconscious fear or insecurity about yourself. What was it?

6 hours ago, Sidi said:

Any advice on handling my guilt would be appreciated. 

Accept what you did, don't resist it. Everyone has triggers and it's not your fault. Many of them come from early childhood experiences.

[CreamCat]

You better apologize, man.