Does Male-Female friendship is possible ?

[Lynnel]

@Shin

It's complicated. You know how everyone wants to be in a relationship ? Well just liking or "loving" each other isn't enough to have a great relationship. Those take work. A lot of work. And the nature of a friendly relationship is very different from a romantic one and requires a very different kind of investment.

Thus you might have amazing compatiblity with someone on a friendship level and at the same time be unable to ever be/date that person. If you have attraction to your friends it's not a friendship and you won't be able to have friendship intimacy.

If you're both very advanced you can add sex on TOP of a friendship intimacy because it's very very different from a true relationship but normies can't see the difference and it becomes very messy. Once again friendship + sex != relationship.

You can totaly be friends with a girl but only if you're not attracted to her in any meaningful way. If you are, try to have lots of sex and you'll intuitively understand what kind of sexual partners you would want (because you're making attraction not only about physically and you're not attracted by the sole possibility of having sex anymore) and thus you'll come to see lots of girls you're not really attracted to.

In short, usually if you would be totaly fine with her coming in right now and jumping/humping on you you're not friends

[thehero]

On 10/7/2018 at 0:09 PM, Emerald said:

"I pretended to be a girl's friend just to get in her pants, but then she wasn't attracted to me so I kept pretending to be her friend... with resentment."

is this possible if i was literally just trying to be a loving and good friend? i got angry at someone who would only talk to me about her guy problems but i wanted like a good friendship where we both cared about each other. not some guy that i was just there to talk about relationship problems with and not be willing to even have a conversation about the day or other stuff

Edited October 9, 2018 by thehero

[Shin]

17 minutes ago, thehero said:

is this possible if i was literally just trying to be a loving and good friend? i got angry at someone who would only talk to me about her guy problems but i wanted like a good friendship where we both cared about each other. not some guy that i was just there to talk about relationship problems with and not be willing to even have a conversation about the day or other stuff

Just tell her you don't want to talk about relationships.

If she stop talking to you, you have your answer.

[thehero]

@Shin i couldnt. i didnt want to hurt her feelings by telling her i didnt care (even though i did)

thing was when i tried to change the topic she would barely entertain it. so i guess yeah. that's my answer

Edited October 9, 2018 by thehero

[Emerald]

6 hours ago, thehero said:

is this possible if i was literally just trying to be a loving and good friend? i got angry at someone who would only talk to me about her guy problems but i wanted like a good friendship where we both cared about each other. not some guy that i was just there to talk about relationship problems with and not be willing to even have a conversation about the day or other stuff

This doesn't really sound like her using you. It just sounds like she is a bit immature and doesn't know that it's not always appropriate to talk about these topics to you in the same way she and her girlfriends might talk. She also should develop a little bit more awareness about what men generally like to talk about versus what women generally like to talk about. I see it as the equivalent of a guy always steering the conversation to a very stereotypically male topic of conversation (like body-building or something like that that a lot of women an't related to), and not being aware when the women he's talking to are getting bored. 

Female friends tend to like to talk about relationships and guys. And to me, when I was younger and single, those conversations with my female friends were always exciting because it gave me a chance to talk about the guy that I liked or to get validation if there were troubles. So, it always felt good and like an intimate friendship thing. 

When I was in middle school, my friends and I would always talk on the phone (this was before texting). And our favorite topic was boys and anything kind of sexual or taboo... since we were preteens and it was all very exciting and new. And we would always see how many people we could get on the phone line to talk... I think our record was 7 or 8 people. So, it was always a bunch of girls and my friend Joe. And he would understandably complain sometimes about how the conversation would be a little one-track sometimes where the conversation would end up steering to conversations about boys, which he couldn't relate to. 

Now, it wasn't so bad because we would also talk about shows we liked, our thoughts on the world, or just randomness too. 

So, it just sounds like your friend is a little bit unaware socially and perhaps has difficulty switching topics. So, I'm going to guess this isn't special treatment for you in particular. It's probably what she likes to talk about in general around all her friends and that she doesn't pick and choose the conversation topics to cater to the person. So, I'm more inclined to see it as a lack of awareness in what the person she's talking to is interested in, and not picking up social cues.

Edited October 10, 2018 by Emerald