So detached ! Help !

[Sidra]

So basically I feel so detached from reality . It's more like I'm watching life (as if it's some sort of a movie or a dream ) n hardly feeling I'm actually experiencing it.. n it's not because of a lack of activities or solitude or sth.. in fact ,I can be so busy doing stuff n even trying new things , still.. I feel like sth really significant is missing

I guess I should mention the fact that I had such a traumatic childhood(it was so messed up)

I started to become more aware of that as I started meditating on regular basis
While I'm meditating I kinda feel how real it is.. but as soon as I get back to my daily life I feel so detached (from everything )

I found out recently that (derealization-depersonalization) may describe kinda the same symptoms that r happening to me
N some said it's because of overthinking n being caught up in my thoughts that I stop feeling life as vividly n lively as I should..

So how should I deal with this emotional baggage ?!

R there any useful tips I can follow to start experiencing my daily life to the fullest ?!

Or is it just normal n I should stop fixating on wanting to change it ?!

[okulele]

Sounds like you are cut of from your emotions. Your heart is closed. Life feels dry, no flavors to it. Is that right?

I'd suggest getting in touch with your emotions, although it might be a challenge because of your past .

Does talking to someone and opening up to them to the point where you cry out your emotions sound possible? Do you have someone close, to whom you can really, really open up to? If there is no friend or loved one, maybe a therapist?

Or maybe does prayer or loving-kindness meditation sound better to you? Both should make you emotional and open up the blocks.

Or maybe physical stuff like deep breathing, osho's meditations or bioenergetics?

 

I know this must be tough, I am sure there is a lot of pain inside of you and it is so big, you just habitually cut yourself of. But you CAN open up, bit by bit. You really can!

 

[YaNanNallari]

It usually is really solved in a wholesome way. Overall improvement leads to less disconnection. Everyone has some disconnection so it's normal, but it can sometimes feel very bad or off. So there are many paths for improving this, what fits you, I'm not sure. But you can find out yourself

[Sidra]

@okulele 

Yeaah I'm trying to be more open 

also I'm trying new stuff like shamanic breathing , body scan meditation...etc

I think it's helping

 

Thank u soo much ??

 

 

 

 

[Sidra]

@YaNanNallari

Yep.. I'm trying.. Thx?

[Gabriel Antonio]

That is a defense mechanism. Because the pain is so strong, your system numbs all emotions as an attempt to protect yourself. 

I like what @okulele said. Another tool you can use to open up emotionally and heal your inner wounds is psychedelics, especially ayahuasca. 

But anyway, if you can manage to cry with someone you trust — a friend, therapist, your mom, etc — that would really help you get in touch with your feelings once again. It doesn’t matter if it feels like you’re pitying yourself. Let the tears come.

It’s not an easy nor quick process. Remember to go gradually. Little by little... You can’t rush your healing.

Btw - Have you seen the movie Inside Out? 

[Nahm]

@Sidra

Just keep meditating, and keep letting go. Each Sidra is a piece of the Pentateuch, so is your childhood the gift of life, of suffering, then of understanding, then transcendence, finally understanding again full circle, and love, just endless love & compassion. You are the lucky one, if you abide by the secret, the secret of being in the Sidra you are in. One at a time, always now. We’re it in our nature, we’d watch movies backwards, but that is not in this nature. That’d be hilarious - and you are funny in attempting to. The past is the past.   Happiness is found here, now, in simplicity. 

[Sidra]

@Gabriel Antonio indeed.. no rush

 

Thx for ur reply n yeep I have seen it.. pretty cool n inspiring.. ?

Maybe I should start experiencing life as such.. n listen more carefully to my inner voices haha

[Sidra]

@Nahm thx for ur lovely words ?

[Good-boy]

On 10/6/2018 at 8:40 AM, Sidra said:

So basically I feel so detached from reality . It's more like I'm watching life (as if it's some sort of a movie or a dream ) n hardly feeling I'm actually experiencing it.. n it's not because of a lack of activities or solitude or sth.. in fact ,I can be so busy doing stuff n even trying new things , still.. I feel like sth really significant is missing

I guess I should mention the fact that I had such a traumatic childhood(it was so messed up)

I started to become more aware of that as I started meditating on regular basis
While I'm meditating I kinda feel how real it is.. but as soon as I get back to my daily life I feel so detached (from everything )

I found out recently that (derealization-depersonalization) may describe kinda the same symptoms that r happening to me
N some said it's because of overthinking n being caught up in my thoughts that I stop feeling life as vividly n lively as I should..

So how should I deal with this emotional baggage ?!

R there any useful tips I can follow to start experiencing my daily life to the fullest ?!

Or is it just normal n I should stop fixating on wanting to change it ?!

Best time to contemplate and do some self inquiry. Look at who is detached and who is not feeling the emotions, you would not find anyone since there is no Sidra in the first place.

I have been in this emotionless state since May and just love it, since I have accepted it and does not fear anything.Time goes by so fast and there is no me, no one can hurt me both physically and mentally anymore.

I feel cut off from family and friends, but I have gotten used to it since all of it is an illusion. Just go with the flow and have 0 resistance.

Edited October 12, 2018 by Good-boy

[Shin]

On 11/10/2018 at 1:55 PM, Sidra said:

@okulele 

Yeaah I'm trying to be more open 

also I'm trying new stuff like shamanic breathing , body scan meditation...etc

I think it's helping

 

Thank u soo much ??

 

 

 

 

I already know that this won't be a problem for very long just from this quote.

☺

[non_nothing]

On 10/6/2018 at 3:40 PM, Sidra said:

I feel like sth really significant is missing

tell me one word, I don't need your cover-ups, don't cover it with a statement or a sentence. you now what's missing. GIVE the one word. Let it be heard.

 

Opposite to meditation which i categorize it as an staying as passive against life (which is fine and great! no doubts!) there's also another approach of meditation which is a counter to passive-meditation and expressive. In my experience, gives great results, search for osho dynamic meditation. I followed upon a youtube video of dude called Elliot hulse.

And please let me know whether this helped you any via PM or mentioning my name in a reply. Blessings

 

 

 

 

[Pernani]

On 16/10/2018 at 3:05 PM, non_nothing said:

tell me one word, I don't need your cover-ups, don't cover it with a statement or a sentence. you now what's missing. GIVE the one word. Let it be heard.

 

Opposite to meditation which i categorize it as an staying as passive against life (which is fine and great! no doubts!) there's also another approach of meditation which is a counter to passive-meditation and expressive. In my experience, gives great results, search for osho dynamic meditation. I followed upon a youtube video of dude called Elliot hulse.

And please let me know whether this helped you any via PM or mentioning my name in a reply. Blessings

 

 

 

 

Do you scream at the top of your lungs in your place?

[non_nothing]

@Pernani If you meant about dynamic meditation screaming, no I can't do that but I do it silently. Random body movements are more than enough actually.