im barely interested in anything and i cant read books

[Viking]

any time I read a book i get bored at some point. even if the book has contents that I find somewhat interesting after a while when i keep reading the book i get this feeling like- ''ughhh i dont want to keep reading, i want to do something else'' and i have a feeling i want to sigh.

this doesnt just happen with books, but with books its most prominent. anything i do, watching tv shows and movies, studying, watching youtube videos is just lame. the best interest i could get is not getting bored, nothing gets to "interesting". or it gets there and passes away quickly, but thats very rare.

not only in that but in life in general. everything is so tasteless. going out with friends, participating in workshops, talking with people, eating, going to a vacation.

Also im at the point in the life purpose course where im supposed to write 100 questions that fascinate me most about life and i cant come up with anything authentic really. I got questions like "why does anything exist" and "what experiences are there that i didnt experience" but it doest ring the bell of being "fascinating".

is this because im not experiencing life enough and im always in my head? is this because im overstimulated? (tv shows, porn, etc.) 

[Rilles]

Sit down on a chair for as long as you can, dont set a timer, just sit there, see what the first thing that comes to your mind when you get bored is, go for that.

[Viking]

2 minutes ago, Rilles said:

Sit down on a chair for as long as you can, dont set a timer, just sit there, see what the first thing that comes to your mind when you get bored is, go for that.

i actually started doing that a few days ago

the thing that comes up mostly is watching tv shows which is the most exciting thing for me but still bleak and unfulfilling mostly.

[Rilles]

What tv-shows excite you? Why? What happens when you start to get bored? Do you feel like youre missing something in life?

[Psyche_92]

23 minutes ago, Viking said:

any time I read a book i get bored at some point. even if the book has contents that I find somewhat interesting after a while when i keep reading the book i get this feeling like- ''ughhh i dont want to keep reading, i want to do something else'' and i have a feeling i want to sigh.

Can you tell me why this is a problem? If you don't want to read then you don't want to read. I sense you are pressuring yourself into it, which obviously won't work. If you would genuinly be interested in reading, than that would simply happen without any problem.

 

 

[Viking]

26 minutes ago, Rilles said:

What tv-shows excite you? Why? What happens when you start to get bored? Do you feel like youre missing something in life?

ill get back to you on that once itll happen again. for some reason my mind is pulling blanks now.

12 minutes ago, Psyche_92 said:

Can you tell me why this is a problem? If you don't want to read then you don't want to read. I sense you are pressuring yourself into it, which obviously won't work. If you would genuinly be interested in reading, than that would simply happen without any problem.

well, I actually want what these books have to offer me, and sometimes I am interested in what I read but there always comes this point of "I dont want to read anymore, i should take a break" and often i dont come back to that book, or continuing it becomes a chore.

[Psyche_92]

12 minutes ago, Viking said:

well, I actually want what these books have to offer me

Why? What would they give/offer you? Are you not good as you are?

[Viking]

15 minutes ago, Psyche_92 said:

Why? What would they give/offer you? Are you not good as you are?

first, i am not good as i am, i feel like shit most of the time and i hope these books will get me better. second, even if i was good as i am, i still would want to improve my situation even further.

[Psyche_92]

42 minutes ago, Viking said:

first, i am not good as i am, i feel like shit most of the time and i hope these books will get me better. second, even if i was good as i am, i still would want to improve my situation even further.

I hope one day you will see you are good as you are. May peace find you soon. ?? <3

[aurum]

@Viking

More meditation. Because you’re not present, you’re chasing stimulation and for entertainment to fulfill you. Listen to some Eckhart Tolle maybe too.

[Viking]

22 minutes ago, aurum said:

@Viking

More meditation. Because you’re not present, you’re chasing stimulation and for entertainment to fulfill you. Listen to some Eckhart Tolle maybe too.

youre 100% right about the stimulation but should i force myself to meditate even if it makes me miserable? i know how to deal with misery the right way without generating sankaras but itll suck still and i wont want to do it.

and i think to truly for meditation to have an effect i should meditate at least 20 min a few times a day.

and do you think i should force myself and cut on the constant compulsory eating and watching tv shows i do all day? this period will end in a few weeks and ill go back to university.

[Elisabeth]

2 hours ago, Viking said:

is this because im not experiencing life enough and im always in my head? is this because im overstimulated? (tv shows, porn, etc.) 

It's totally possible that you are overstimulated (by tv), or under-stimulated (like, not experiencing enough new stimuli that grow you), or weirdly enough both at the same time.

Unplugging from your online stuff and go enjoy some high-quality work/rest/travel/social time/experience is definitely worth a try.

3 minutes ago, Viking said:

and do you think i should force myself and cut on the constant compulsory eating and watching tv shows i do all day? this period will end in a few weeks and ill go back to university.

Ah, I see. So you're at a vacation period, where you have no responsibility, no structure and no stimuli. It's up to you to motivate yourself and it doesn't work.

That's normal. You need a reason to structure your day.

If you're able to, take up some a routine, some social responsibility, a time-limited project. It's - in a way - easier then motivating yourself over and over, if you have a  social obligation, so go work or volunteer or at least organize something for your friends. Find a buddy to do sports with in the morning. Decide to go camping for the next week. Anything. You need an occupation.

The other option is to do only what you want to do in the moment - very mindfully. Let behavior auto-correct through awareness. But frankly, I think you should go with the first one.

[aurum]

5 minutes ago, Viking said:

and i think to truly for meditation to have an effect i should meditate at least 20 min a few times a day.

 

Lower the bar. If all you can do is 5 minutes, do 5 minutes. That will get you going in the right direction.

7 minutes ago, Viking said:

and do you think i should force myself and cut on the constant compulsory eating and watching tv shows i do all day?

That might be what you need to do at this point, I don’t know. But what I do know is that’s not a long term, sustainable solution. Too much inner conflict.

Do what you can in terms of action, but I would also go within.

Ask yourself: why do I need to “force myself” to eat healthy and not watch TV?   Why don’t I want to do these things naturally, with little effort at all? Wouldn’t that make more sense? How are my negative habits actually benefiting me?

And don’t just go for the surface answer. Your mind is going to resist doing this and will throw up some lame excuse “cause I’m bored” or “I don’t know, I just like it” or “this exercise is stupid”. Lies.

When you get to an answer that makes you feel uncomfortable, now you’re getting somewhere.

[Viking]

12 minutes ago, Elisabeth said:

It's totally possible that you are overstimulated (by tv), or under-stimulated (like, not experiencing enough new stimuli that grow you), or weirdly enough both at the same time.

Unplugging from your online stuff and go enjoy some high-quality work/rest/travel/social time/experience is definitely worth a try.

Ah, I see. So you're at a vacation period, where you have no responsibility, no structure and no stimuli. It's up to you to motivate yourself and it doesn't work.

That's normal. You need a reason to structure your day.

If you're able to, take up some a routine, some social responsibility, a time-limited project. It's - in a way - easier then motivating yourself over and over, if you have a  social obligation, so go work or volunteer or at least organize something for your friends. Find a buddy to do sports with in the morning. Decide to go camping for the next week. Anything. You need an occupation.

The other option is to do only what you want to do in the moment - very mindfully. Let behavior auto-correct through awareness. But frankly, I think you should go with the first one.

haha thats what ive been actually doing. ive been to a vipassana retreat, i went to volunteer for 10 days, i went to a festival for 4 days which i just came from. i guess ill try to plan more stuff, thanks

9 minutes ago, aurum said:

Lower the bar. If all you can do is 5 minutes, do 5 minutes. That will get you going in the right direction.

That might be what you need to do at this point, I don’t know. But what I do know is that’s not a long term, sustainable solution. Too much inner conflict.

Do what you can in terms of action, but I would also go within.

Ask yourself: why do I need to “force myself” to eat healthy and not watch TV?   Why don’t I want to do these things naturally, with little effort at all? Wouldn’t that make more sense? How are my negative habits actually benefiting me?

And don’t just go for the surface answer. Your mind is going to resist doing this and will throw up some lame excuse “cause I’m bored” or “I don’t know, I just like it” or “this exercise is stupid”. Lies.

When you get to an answer that makes you feel uncomfortable, now you’re getting somewhere.

i need to force myself because i have a huge cravings for that stuff and reading books, eating healthy and such isnt as stimulating.

i actually notice the craving in my body when it happens but i cant help but identify with it and go along.

[Elisabeth]

10 minutes ago, Viking said:

haha thats what ive been actually doing. ive been to a vipassana retreat, i went to volunteer for 10 days, i went to a festival for 4 days which i just came from. i guess ill try to plan more stuff, thanks

Ah, alright.

It's also possible that it's actually the other way round: you're tired from the stuff that you've been doing and need some rest. Personally, after a festival, I may need two days of less stimulation overall.

But some structure to your day helps in both cases I believe. Even if it's just one commitment that gets you out of the house.

I have great respect for you completing your vipassana retreat.

[Leo Gura]

@Viking What was your childhood like? What did you spend your time doing?

[Viking]

25 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

@Viking What was your childhood like? What did you spend your time doing?

video games, YouTube and tv shows. i guess it's the same stuff just now i dont play videogames because they became boring.

edit: this was more my teens. during childhood i played videogames, watched tv and spent time with friends outside fucking around. shit, i guess tv is the constant.

edit2: wait, so am i fucked for life now and nothing will interest me as much as tv? because seriously so far nothing has interested me more than tv.

Edited October 3, 2018 by Viking

[lmfao]

@Viking Were/Are there any academic subjects you're interested in? Correct me if i'm wrong but weren't you a physics student at some point?

[Viking]

2 minutes ago, lmfao said:

@Viking Were/Are there any academic subjects you're interested in? Correct me if i'm wrong but weren't you a physics student at some point?

yes, im starting my 3rd year in a few weeks, but i wouldnt spend my free time on that, its boring mostly.

[Artaemis]

Honestly, when you raise your level of consciousness high enough, everything becomes interesting. 

Walking across the room or brushing your teeth or eating blueberries is crazy fulfilling. I'm not kidding. 

Edited October 3, 2018 by Artaemis