I can't seem to get back on track

[Widdle Puppy]

I fell off on my meditation habit and my self actualizing path over the summer and it has been completely demoralizing. I absolutely hate this. I can't seem to get back on track no matter what I try. I feel lazy and hate myself for this. 

- I feel confused about what meditation method to do 

- There never seems to be enough time or I waste time and can't do any of the work

- I can't seem to plan anything long term or plan any retreats

- I have shadow work to do I think but feel like I don't even know how to approach any of my problems

- I'm worried about everything

- My sleep schedule is totally fucked

- Feel like the situation I'm in is the cause and am a victim 

- Feels like I'm stuck in honey and if I get unstuck I'm going to have to face some painful things

On the positive side though I am going to the gym three times a week and making progress in this domain. So I don't want to say I'm totally doing nothing and I know a good habit or two like this can really make a difference in the long term. I'm just not seeing the value of anything.

Any advice on getting unstuck from such a situation?

[B_Naz]

Pick a day to restart.

You see, once you're on the path of self-actualisation, there's no falling off track. Look at your current situation, you've tried the self actualisation and then you think you fallen but in fact, you're learning. You learn what failure is, you learn what your needs are, you learn what you want and what is deep within you. If these things weren't true, you would had not posted this thread on the forums

See, you came back to the forums, and to the work. You will always come back and try again. You haven't lostbhope, you still have hope and this thread is proof. YOU CAME BACK!

Pick the day (next Monday) and start again. This time, be even more aware of distractoons?

The best meditation for me is just observation and self enquiry. It's simple, be aware of your thoughts, don't judge them, become detachand understand what they mean but look at Leo's beginner meditation again

I love that you came back. I love you! Good luck

Edited October 3, 2018 by B_Naz

[YaNanNallari]

You need to stay with that feeling of confusion instead of pushing it away. It is your shadow

[Widdle Puppy]

On 10/3/2018 at 4:31 PM, B_Naz said:

Pick a day to restart.

You see, once you're on the path of self-actualisation, there's no falling off track. Look at your current situation, you've tried the self actualisation and then you think you fallen but in fact, you're learning. You learn what failure is, you learn what your needs are, you learn what you want and what is deep within you. If these things weren't true, you would had not posted this thread on the forums

See, you came back to the forums, and to the work. You will always come back and try again. You haven't lostbhope, you still have hope and this thread is proof. YOU CAME BACK!

Pick the day (next Monday) and start again. This time, be even more aware of distractoons?

The best meditation for me is just observation and self enquiry. It's simple, be aware of your thoughts, don't judge them, become detachand understand what they mean but look at Leo's beginner meditation again

I love that you came back. I love you! Good luck

Thanks so much for this post! 

[B_Naz]

1 hour ago, Widdle Puppy said:

Thanks so much for this post! 

<3 

[RichardY]

 

[Hellspeed]

Good news!

Go deep in that drama, it won't bite you. At the end of the tunnel is quite different. 

[Your place at Heart]

On 10/3/2018 at 6:37 AM, Widdle Puppy said:

I fell off on my meditation habit and my self actualizing path over the summer and it has been completely demoralizing. I absolutely hate this. I can't seem to get back on track no matter what I try. I feel lazy and hate myself for this. 

- I feel confused about what meditation method to do 

- There never seems to be enough time or I waste time and can't do any of the work

- I can't seem to plan anything long term or plan any retreats

- I have shadow work to do I think but feel like I don't even know how to approach any of my problems

- I'm worried about everything

- My sleep schedule is totally fucked

- Feel like the situation I'm in is the cause and am a victim 

- Feels like I'm stuck in honey and if I get unstuck I'm going to have to face some painful things

On the positive side though I am going to the gym three times a week and making progress in this domain. So I don't want to say I'm totally doing nothing and I know a good habit or two like this can really make a difference in the long term. I'm just not seeing the value of anything.

Any advice on getting unstuck from such a situation?

Falling off is very natural and you have to accept this. Your life and demands and circumstances and situations always jump in your face. Sometimes those urgent situations take a day or days or week or months, where you have to solve, and you get back again. The most important thing is to do the practice for as long as you can, in fact the moment you do what you want, you will leave a print of it in form of memory, and as you reinforce this memory by practicing and charging it with emotions, labors and energy, it will become grow from a single memory to collection of memories that will become sensory, motor, intrenurons forming synapsis and linkage and growing and with more practice they will grow denser and those neurons become like a living entity in you, they will prioritize itself and survival over other tasks and hence you naturally desire to do it and soon this living entity of neuron cells start taking over your brain and reinforcing what you want(no prejudice, life purpose,present moment, eternal love..etc.)

Just don't lose hope. I always fall and so everyone else.

Look at my mind map that I created it.

Flow chart of falling behind on Life purpose and spiritual path.pdf

[Your place at Heart]

Remember to not hold any beliefs, because essentially all beliefs are illusory and memory content within your brain cells and mind. Don't feed those memories so that they don't grow more and those cells become like living systems that act and believe and prioritize food and oxygen to themselves and they end up controlling the way you see the world. If they are so big of memories and living entities, start by starving them and expect all kind of fears and struggles and worries because these living machines of cells will die out and watch how they will fight hard, just the way you do in real life. You can literally believe whatever the heck you want and nurture those beliefs in your brain and they grow become living and manifesting beings in you.

[K VIL]

i share your despair with the sleep schedule.

any progress? @Widdle Puppy