Generosity/ Service to Others/ Sacrifice

[Nic]

It seems like this whole work of becoming selfless is very selfish work until you actually sacrifice something you can give to a person in need, wether it is your time, your strength and energy, your kindness or your wealth for a longer period of time. It's not like there is a crisis of people in need... in the contrary. There has to be more that I or that we can give than a smile.

Fear makes us selfish and I think, one of the hardest level of consciousness is to actually become a genuine giver. This is really, really, really advanced!

As far as I can remember, Leo doesn't even talk about that subject in the spiral dynamics topic.

I guess it's one of the subject I'm having the most resistance in, even though nobody nowadays would say that I Am a selfish person, the typical meaning of selfish. Even though I've been serving people professionally for 20 years, more than half of my life, I still do it for a paycheck.

I'm not the kind of guy that travels to the poorest areas of the planet for helping others and I'm also having a very sensitive digestive system, I believe I would die as it nearly happened once coming back from India. I prefer sending money regularly for paying the entire scholarship of a little Tibetan boy in India, would I earn less, would I carry on sending that money? Could I actually take care of another child?

Still I guess that I could be a lot more selfless in that sense and give more effort for the people in need even in my own town but I encounter a massive resistance to it. They are countless ways to help others and to sacrifice money and energy, but the "I" says... "Neeeeeh, I got better things to do" .

There were times that I was more conscious than today, I notice that helping and giving is so addictive, that is how I actually improved my previous selfishness when I started doing to work on myself more than a decade ago. It also can be an ego pumper.... I'm just getting back to work at the moment, hopefully for a longer period of time.

I'm just guessing that a lot of people feel like me or even worse, they want to avoid that subject completely, but yeah, I believe it is a very important one.

 

How does one become a genuine giver? 

What are you already doing or planing to sacrifice for people in need? 

Are you aware of your resistance for helping others? Do you just repress it subconsciously?

We probably all have a big "mea culpa" to do in that sense or do we just say, "the world is as it is, we can't all be rich, I have no time" etc...

[Nahm]

@Nic Turquoise, then nonduality. Physical stuff, achievement, and thinking is a shadow. Live in & give your light of unconditional love, compassion, and communicate the understanding of suffering. You’ll need to go through ALL of your own bullshit, so you can help others realize theirs. Otherwise, they’ll convince you circumstances are king, and also trigger “you”. The success you’re looking for is pure Joy.

[Leo Gura]

@Nic The greatest gift you can give the world is via your life purpose.

Ahem... I created a whole course about it

Working in a soup kitchen is peanuts by comparison to how much you will impact the world if you find your LP.

[Nic]

@Leo Gura

I feel you Leo and you are most probably right, but I'm actually afraid of doing your course as I don't see me starting my life again with 40... I'm going to do it at some point probably!

What is when you think that you already have found your LP ? And that would be, playing the guitar...  And I honestly still suck after 6 years into it,... so yeah it just takes time... but I want to give people a good time listening to what I play, make them forget about their worries and even heal some with sounds and poetry. I love music that much...

My actual occupation gives me a lot of free time and even though I don't like my job like use to, it gives me the opportunity to do my passion and to enjoy life with the financial security that comes with it.

[Nic]

@Nahm I hope I don't need to wait to be turquoise to go and help some Alzheimer patient or do some grocery shopping for elderly. 

A lot of people sacrifice their time to help others and they are far from being turquoise, still in the blue for example.

[bejapuskas]

@Nic  You can start to do these things when you are green. But the problem with green is that its not as developed on its own, so helping others is almost like a disability of some sort.

[bejapuskas]

@Leo Gura  It is quite funny and admirable at the same time that you can actually afford to be so commercial (just kidding) when you bring so much value to the table  

[Nic]

@bejapuskas The most generous people I know of, are blue... And they give genuinely...

[Jack River]

6 hours ago, Nic said:

Fear makes us selfish and I think, one of the hardest level of consciousness is to actually become a genuine giver.

This process or psychological growth or spiral growth is fear in action. As long as our motive comes from fear we are going to be selfish. If I am trying to become something like enlightened, rich, a color scheme of spiral dynamics I am always striving to become. If I am always doing that I am depending on that future state of being. Then there is fear that i might not get it. That makes me grumpy or angry when things don’t go my way...if we really want to be the genuaine psychological becoming has to end. When I seek psychologically that is fear escaping what is, and that means conflict and suffering for me and others around me. The ending of this psychological time will bring a radical change to consciousness one “me” at a time. Just worry about this in yourself. No psychological time dude. Then you are really helping the world. 

Edited October 3, 2018 by Jack River

[Nic]

@Jack River

I believe for my part, it's more a fear of not being the ideal self that I imagine I should be right now, than not becoming the person I'd like to be in the future as I know I'm always growing. Holding on to that imaginary projections of me, comparing it to what I Am right now, is what my mind is up to at the moment. Next month it's going to be something else, sad but true.

But I see your point! Thanks

 

[Nahm]

@Nic

Your post was prefaced with becoming selfless. 

My apologies. 

??

[Violinpracticerdude]

Well, helping people is always fun and why don't you just on your time off go do it? You can make excuses not to but you can also help people, it's your own choice.

[Nic]

@Leo Gura

And Leo, even though you are probably right about the impact you do with your LP, I wasn't talking about that... 

I'm talking about sacrifice. The LP course is not what I could call a sacrifice, it's first for your own benefit isn't it, otherwise it wouldn't sell? Adopting an abandoned autistic child, giving half of your wealth to charity,  washing some old ladies bottom on a Sunday morning, instead of doing my passion, is more what I would call a sacrifice, you know, the good old stuff... 

How does such sacrifice help you on your way to enlightenment... it's a famous thing in a lot of major spiritual traditions! Why aren't we talking about it?

@Violinpracticerdude

I know it's my own choice, but this is actually much more advanced than what it seems to be! It can be fun, true, but it depends on your taste and how much you are willing to sacrifice!

Edited October 3, 2018 by Nic

[Jack River]

26 minutes ago, Nic said:

I believe for my part, it's more a fear of not being the ideal self that I imagine I should be right now,

Nice. You set an image that you want to attain that causes conflict/fear. This is what self does to psychologically soothe itself, but it actually feeds its insecurity. 

Edited October 3, 2018 by Jack River

[Nic]

@Nahm Yes I Am talking about being selfless, on the individual scale, you can become selfless being in or coming from the blue. Wether it is a temporary or a lasting enlightenment.

[Jack River]

Psychological time or Becoming/spiral dynamic progression = selfish to keep it real simple dudes. 

Edited October 3, 2018 by Jack River

[Nic]

@Jack River Yes, I believe it is the same issue for most people who have complexes... Holding an image, a dream of what you should be, put your faith in it, and then comparing it to reality= deception, sadness, worries! 

[Jack River]

Just now, Nic said:

@Jack River Yes, I believe it is the same issue for most people who have complexes... Holding an image, a dream of what you should be, put your faith in it, and then comparing it to reality= deception, sadness, worries! 

Yep. That is how thought moves. It measures/compares to what it thinks it should be. This causes defensiveness or self centered like behavior 

[Hellspeed]

Doesn't work, is ego based. Yeah, generosity is mainly EGO driven. 

[Nic]

 

5 hours ago, Hellspeed said:

Doesn't work, is ego based. Yeah, generosity is mainly EGO driven. 

So it's a good reason to stay selfish then... ;-) 

Seating down to meditate can also be mainly ego driven... 

What is ego driven is my resistance to sacrifice and I guess a lot people here have the same problem...

I know what you mean, but it can be done in a egoless manner and a very powerful spiritual practice. This is I guess what spiritual traditions were after and this is really missing in this forum and videos...

Edited October 4, 2018 by Nic