Discovering deeply rooted beliefs

[Andre Quinonez]

So a couple of weeks ago I had a horrible 1P-LSD trip. I took 200 ug early in the morning and had the most horrifying experience of my life. I felt as I was dying and I genuinely thought I was going to die. Although I already have around 10+ trips under my belt and done higher doses (400 ug) this trip went south very quickly. Now, I was raised a catholic and for many years I believed in the catholic church and in God in the biblical sense but I renounced those beliefs (or so it seemed) around 3 years ago. however, during this trip as I felt I lost complete control over my whole reality and felt as I was dying I started to pray and all of the sudden all my old beliefs about a god controlling everything from above came back. I rationally understand there isn't a man in the sky judging my actions and manipulating reality but in that moment I was so afraid that I prayed for him to spare my life. So why is this belief still so ingrained in my mind even if I understand intellectually that it's not the case? 

Edited October 2, 2018 by Andre Quinonez
grammar

[Nahm]

@Andre Quinonez

What is the root?

Who would you be without a God?