Social Anxiety Help

[Kserkkj]

I've been having social anxiety for about 1/4 of my life, currently 17 atm. Idk where to start but basically, I'm a guy who has trouble articulating what i have to say in a clear concise way, and this probably has to do with the fact that english is my second language, and it's difficult for me to express myself eg. when conversing with friends, class debates, ... And so, i've been traumatized many times recently over the years, which causes me to be anxious when i meet new people( which i tend to avoid), especially when public speaking and class debates, even when hanging out with my friends, i'm always like the passive and dull guy. I only have 1-2 casual friends I hang out at school for 2-3 times a week during lunch break, and I don't use any social media other than youtube, not even facebook which apparently most people have. What I spend most of my time doing throughout the day is pretty much reading light novels/manga and I feel my future is bleak if I don't start taking action, finding more opportunities, increasing my social circle... Wondering if any of you can recommend me any books/videos on how to overcome this, or tips from personal experience. Thanks

[Nathalie]

The first that come into my mind is, how cool would it be to converse with someone who listen..! Why not make use of this? I understand what you mean because everyone tries to tell his opinion about everything.. But, is this really always that important?

1 hour ago, Kserkkj said:

i'm always like the passive and dull guy.

First, why not make a trump of it and practice active listening, look at the eyes of the speaker, nod your head, agree with different little words like, yes, of course, sure.. Or just put words like: really? When? Why? How did you do this?..etc..  But don't fake it, it would be boring for you and the other would remark it.. Just keep in your head that the best conversation partners are those who are able to listen . Are you able to do this? It's often much more difficult than speak..

Try only to speak when you have something special to say. This way, even if you need longer to express yourself you can expect that the other will be patient with you and listen.

As a second plan, I would advise you to practice articulation by reading books loud (when you're alone) and if you want to, you can record yourself with your phone and afterwards ilsten to it and correct it until you like it..

Besides, I'm also living in a foreign country and I'm not perfect, I still have an accent and make errors sometimes.. but nobody seems to care

[ZenMonkey]

@Kserkkj Regarding social anxiety I can recommand you Noah Elkrief from personal experience.

 

He has a whole lot good stuff on his channel, also more video on social anxiety.

 

[Denis]

I have dealt with anxiety as well and I still do but it is not nearly as bad as it was in my teens.  A supplement I used that helped me quite a bit is              L-Theanine.  It is a dietary supplement that is very safe but it will help you a lot.  It lowers anxiety and stress and it helps you focus as well.  It is said to increase learning ability as well.  Now this is not a cure, but a tool to help you along.  You should still work on a deeper level to resolve your anxiety issues which you can do trust me.  You can buy it at any health food store and it is not expensive.  Keep working on yourself and in a very short time you will laugh at your anxiety.  Meditation will help you a lot as well.  Anxiety is just an irrational fear that is in your mind.  It is created by your mind.  You are not your mind and while you might not realize this yet you will as you keep working on yourself.