Bleeding Heart (Emotional Detox)

[okulele]

A couple of weeks ago I decided to consciously bring out the desire for Truth and God in myself.

I sat myself down, sat a timer for 30 minutes and started going in, into my emotions, into my heart - in search for the longing. Although the longing was a little superficial and fake at first, soon it became stronger and stronger, bringing out a lot of emotions.

Since then, I have been doing this every evening for 30 minutes. I sit down, I let my long trapped pain flow out, my heart to bleed (that is literally what it feels like). Sometimes some form of spoken, spontaneous prayer helps to induce it.

I always cry, sometimes laugh. I tap into what seems like an inexhaustible saddens and fear, and also great joy just beneath. Sometimes the 30 minutes are filled with the body shaking and moving in strange (often disturbing) ways, sometimes love springs out and wonderful devotion to Life. It feels like there is no end to this pain and pleasure in my heart, which ultimately turn out to be very alike, often very hard to distinguish.

These 30 minutes are full of life, full of love and never ever boring.

This practice is very beneficial for me. I see how closed I was to emotions (being a very manly man in my mind), which ultimately led me to a lot of compulsive behaviors (the blocked emotions coming out unconsciously). I feel much safer with handling my emotions in a conscious way, now.

 

Anyone doing a similar thing? Is this what the Christian praying is about? Is this the Hindu bhakti?

[DrewNows]

@okuleleThis sounds very beneficial! Great questions...I have no idea! 

 

The unconscious emotions/ suppressed emotions will begin to tell a story, i imagine, and this will help you realize your true self. 

Eventually I see you being conscious in the now dealing with these emotions as they come which may lead you to lose identity but grow all the more into your true self. 

At this time you may not wish to continue your practice except for when you feel the need. What a great habit this is to develop   

[okulele]

Thanks for your encouraging comment!

1 hour ago, DrewNows said:

At this time you may not wish to continue your practice except for when you feel the need.

Well I do feel the need every day. I finish every evening seeing that there is so much old stuff to take out still. This will take a while, I suppose.