How do I get rid of social anxiety?

[Parki]

I've done a lot of research(or at least I think I did) and I don't know.
I watched a lot of youtube videos, read articles, I tried AA(got a job which required a lot of social interactions with strangers and I had to initiate the conversation).

I've done some iboga, which didn't help with SA, and mescaline(500mg one time), which helped a bit and I am going to do more, but I don't think it's going to be the solution.

What do I do?
I know that's a poor asked question, but this is the best I can came up this far.
It would be nice if you share your experience with the proccess.

[Shin]

Describe your problems in detail.

[Psyche_92]

Why do you want to get rid of it? What's the salespitch?

Edited October 1, 2018 by Psyche_92

[Parki]

@Shin I am confused with your question.
Isn't it obvious what social anxiety is?
Well, when I walk in hallway and people going by I have unpleasant feeling which makes me not look in their eyes.
If say I would want to call someone out, it would be hard for me to do because of the feeling.
As a result it works as me wanting to do some social interaction, or just an action infront of other people and not doing it to avoid the feeling.

[Shin]

9 minutes ago, Parki said:

@Shin I am confused with your question.
Isn't it obvious what social anxiety is?
Well, when I walk in hallway and people going by I have unpleasant feeling which makes me not look in their eyes.
If say I would want to call someone out, it would be hard for me to do because of the feeling.
As a result it works as me wanting to do some social interaction, or just an action infront of other people and not doing it to avoid the feeling.

Ok then I want you to take a 30 minute walk in a suburb area of your town, everyday for 1 month.

In this walk you have to smile by looking in the eyes of everyone you see and say hello.

Then come back here after.

Edited October 1, 2018 by Shin

[Parki]

2 minutes ago, Psyche_92 said:

Why do you want to get rid of it?

I need to get rid of this because I can't do the social interactions I need to do, and because of that many things in my life are fucked up.

2 minutes ago, Psyche_92 said:

salespicture

what does it mean?
what do I want?

[Psyche_92]

3 minutes ago, Parki said:

what does it mean?
what do I want?

What is your mind trying to convince you of, that will be better if you don't have social anxiety?

Edited October 1, 2018 by Psyche_92

[NoSelfSelf]

Rid of the person who has social anxiety

[Parki]

@Shin
 

Let me tell you a story.
A while ago a got a job.
Tobaco ads are banned in Russia, so the companies have to do something else,
and it's my job.

I was staying at some place(a supermarket usually)
and my job was basically start convos with people and offer them to exchange their sigarets to ours.
Not only they don't want to do that, but I also had to ask them for their passport data which you might guess not everyone would like to do.
I managed to be the best by passport data I got.

It was very hard at the beggining, but after awhile I got almost no SA.

Now I have very funny question to you.
What do you think happened to my SA outside of my job?
It remained to be at exact same place as it was before.
That's why I don't believe in AA.
It kinda works, but localy and it's too god damn hard to do.

You was raped?
Well then go get raped again and again until you stop caring about it.
This is what your advice sounds to me like.
I understand that you are doing it from good intentions, but this is what it looks like from my perspective.

[Parki]

@NoSelfSelf
Makes sense, but have you noticed that enlightenment is super hard and there are people with egos without SA?

[NoSelfSelf]

@Parki Stop believing that you exist,what you are is thought..they have other problems...

Edited October 1, 2018 by NoSelfSelf

[Shin]

7 minutes ago, Parki said:

@NoSelfSelf
Makes sense, but have you noticed that enlightenment is super hard and there are people with egos without SA?

I told you to do that because it worked for me.

I would still do it at your place, because you were forced to do it at your job, this is a different situation.

Also porn/masturbation is a huge factor for many men.

If you don't then read about the subject, there are books on amazon that are waiting for you ?

Edited October 1, 2018 by Shin

[Shamrock]

What's your diet? Quality of sleep, levels of stress in your day-to-day, and your diet will be the most important things to iron out. 

[Phill]

Hello @Parki

Just so you know, @Shin strategy to deal with your anxiety is pretty much Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) (google it up), your brain goes into fight or flight mode once you go on the streets or social places full of people because it perceives it as a threat mostly because of unfamiliarity or doubt, meaning that your whole brain gets activated causing the terrible feeling you feel, I had the same problem in the past, I solved through CBT I would go jog in a place full of people and expose, expose, expose, I don't think you should just do it through sheer force though, but to observe what you are thinking, then once you come home, you write those thoughts in a paper and just question if they are true of false, it will shed great light on things you weren't aware of, if you become aware of the thoughts your having specially the patterns that repeats over and over, you will eventually be able to control them, you cannot control something unconscious, you need to witness it, deeply.

In my case I had a RULE of how my hair is suppose to be, if my hair wasn't that specific way, I would get crazy about it (it took me a few years to realize that...), I had the BELIEF that I NEEDED to be beautiful to people at all times, I would need to be beautiful, kind, generous and other shit,  you see this is just a bunch of fucked up rules created in the mind that makes you neurotic, it's of extremely importance that you identify those, only then you will slowly become free of them.

This exercise will eventually break you out of the neurosis you are in, I know exactly how painful it is for you, in my case I would sweat my whole body, my stomach would get really upset, my hands would get sweat then I would freak out that woman would hate me for the cold and sweaty hands... and nobody then would like to date me(just unconscious fucked up beliefs as you can see) my skin would go pale, my mouth would go dry, the stress would get so high my back and shoulders would hurt, then later once I come home I would need to stay alone for a bunch of hours to calm down, oh I been through that entire hell, and that entire hell is created by your own mind, do the exercises, do self inquiry, become conscious of what exactly, SPECIFICALLY is going inside your mind and you will slowly improve, don't expect things changing suddenly, but I promise if you do the exercises you will see great benefits in a few months.

 

 

 

[Sahil Pandit]

@Parki Nobody is looking at you in public as critically as you are judging yourself. 

[Parki]

@Sahil Pandit I am totally agree, but do you honestly think that my SA will end after reading this?

[Jack River]

Learn and understand fear dudes

[Hellspeed]

Get into Meditation and Tantra. After you master the connection with the opposite sex and breath, then you become a millionaire. 

[Erlend K]

The most effective drugs against sa is maoi's, particularly Nardil. 

The only longterm solution is systematic, incremental exposure, combined with whatever you can do to decrease anxiety levels during exposure: nardil, heavy weight lifting, avoiding suggar and coffeene, get enough sleep, stay hydrated, breath with your diagphram, do yoga/meditation, cbt/psychodynamic terrapy etc. 

[Max_V]

15 hours ago, Shin said:

Ok then I want you to take a 30 minute walk in a suburb area of your town, everyday for 1 month.

In this walk you have to smile by looking in the eyes of everyone you see and say hello.

Then come back here after.

I actually do this every day in combination with therapy.I had very severe social anxiety before starting self-actualization, now after about 3 years I feel a lot more at peace in general.

I cannot approach girls yet like I want to so I’ve just been doing whatever I can every day. The furthest I’ve come is saying hi, smiling, and looking everyone in the eye. I feel like soon I will be able to do more