Will Having A Heart Of Gold Be Disadvantage?

[JevinR]

So there is this: 

And to read Models, but will having a heart of gold be repulsive?

My strategy is just to do what Leo says, and then theres some other video stating that you have to sex with so many girls and make your life purpose #1, my deepest fear is that I'm going to get cheated on, and that's why I want to go have sex with hundreds of girls, so I'm in a position of power. (But it's really a fearful state of losing control). I also feel I have to talk to every girl I find slightly attractive, or else face dire consequences like end up some needy babyback beta bitch, this is why I am formulating some sort of plan, but then again this is negative motivation. There was some girl at the gym, and I was going to talk to her, but then thought "leave her alone", and then when she was resting I was leaving and I probably should've approached her, now I am beating myself up. Tyler from RSD said guys that are sweet/kind are going to get crushed in-field. My social circle doesn't really have many girls or so, but it will probably expand when going to college or whatever the life purpose is. I also think the cheating thing might come true because I'm focusing on it so much even though I'm not in a relationship. Are "good guys" needy?

 

Edited March 30, 2016 by JevinR

[ZenDog]

Tyler never says sweet guys get crushed. He even talks about how some of his friends are really sweet and get laid.

Thing is there is a difference between being sweet and a nice gut people pleaser. Good guys have a self image of being the goodie goodie who never causes conflict, so when a girl tells them to fuck off their ego panics. They dont realize how random alot of blowouts are and they have nothing to do with you as a person.

No empathy + high self respect = psycho

High emapthy + high self respect = perfect. 

Most good guys u see are not like that on the inside. They are just afraid of expressing their personal boundary. 

Leos rant was more for pick up fanatics who see women as objects to fuel their ego. Ive met some of these guys and they have no humanity left in them.

These guys need more empathy. 

But as a people pleaser you actually need more coldheartedness to balance your self out. Im still a massive people pleaser but im working on it.

[JevinR]

@ZenDog Thanks

[Leo Gura]

If you measure "advantage" only by your lay count, then definitely your lay count will drop by being less manipulative and less egotistical.

But that's a pretty limited metric.

There are much more important things to focus on in life than lay count. What a hardcore player gains in lay count a decent human being can gain elsewhere several times over.

[Emerald]

On March 30, 2016 at 10:07 PM, JevinR said:

So there is this: 

And to read Models, but will having a heart of gold be repulsive?

My strategy is just to do what Leo says, and then theres some other video stating that you have to sex with so many girls and make your life purpose #1, my deepest fear is that I'm going to get cheated on, and that's why I want to go have sex with hundreds of girls, so I'm in a position of power. (But it's really a fearful state of losing control). I also feel I have to talk to every girl I find slightly attractive, or else face dire consequences like end up some needy babyback beta bitch, this is why I am formulating some sort of plan, but then again this is negative motivation. There was some girl at the gym, and I was going to talk to her, but then thought "leave her alone", and then when she was resting I was leaving and I probably should've approached her, now I am beating myself up. Tyler from RSD said guys that are sweet/kind are going to get crushed in-field. My social circle doesn't really have many girls or so, but it will probably expand when going to college or whatever the life purpose is. I also think the cheating thing might come true because I'm focusing on it so much even though I'm not in a relationship. Are "good guys" needy?

 

Notice how this comes from fear and insecurity, but not enjoyment, intimacy, or a genuine expression of your sexuality. I'm very interested in sexuality in general, and thus I've seen a lot of videos and posts from this vain of thinking. To me, it's absolutely ridiculous and very sad... this is no judgment of character, just judgment of the social pattern. Now, the PUA methods are likely to be effective because most people are low consciousness and trying to find a partner based on the mirroring effect. Men are interested in sleeping with women because it is temporary proof to show themselves that they are powerful. Women are interested in men being interested in them because it is temporary proof to show themselves that they are desirable. So, the partner is only a mirror for proof of one's own significance, and a temporary fix from feelings of insecurity, loneliness, and unworthiness. 

But for me, a man being a decent person is a 100% requirement to get my consideration. Warm-hearted men who are calm, encouraging, and positive get an exponential bump in attractiveness level. I'm married now, but this is still true. Being an asshole = Being a loser. Even when I was a child, I noticed how a bad personality killed a person's looks and attractiveness. It may be the case that nice guys don't get as many hook-ups as assholes... but consider why assholes get more women to bed. It's not because women like them more or are more attracted to them... it's just that assholes are pushier and a lot of women have issues with setting boundaries and have tons of insecurities. Most women feel yucky about these types of encounters after the fact. Do you really want to be someone's regret?

So, my advice is to define your worth based on so much more than your attractiveness to women. Use sex for procreation, emotional connection, and/or physical pleasure. Self-esteem issues don't belong there. Also, I feel like there's this notion that women hold all the cards in the dating/sex game. This simply isn't true. Most women don't even know what they want from sex because female sexuality and sexual motivation isn't very well understood in our society. So, women use male sexuality as a basis for understanding their own, and thus can only imagine themselves from the second person perspective of sex. 

I hope this was helpful.  

[Lynnel]

@JevinR

If you are that bothered by those type of questions, start going out. Most of the stuff will fix itself after going out enough and talking to girls. I strongly feel you're trying to find excuses not to do it. Finding solulutions to imaginary problems, overthinking, and so on.

As for the question itself : in itself it's not.

Expecting to get laid SIMPLY because you have what you call a heart of gold, being a good guy, being nice, is. You can have all those qualities and remain unattractive. And you have absolutly no right to believe that you deserve to get laid simply because of that. And what you cool good guy, although is being  manipulative isn't that good are often needy because they don't work on themselves. Imagine a poor guy on the street feeling like you owe him money simply because he was a good guy and has a heart of gold ? That's how girls feel.

As for getting cheated on, handle the fear on itself. Usually, if you don't have any fear it usually goes smoothly. You simply have to choose right. Choosing the right girl, as with everything, requires a lot of experience

You get crushed infield because if you're not used to it it's harsh. And it got harsh rules. It's reality. Not the beautiful world where everyone loves you simply because you're good.