No guys might want to have kids with me?

[TheBeachBionic]

No guys might want to have kids with me?

[ajasatya]

@TheBeachBionic yes, that's true. finding a healthy intimate relationship takes lots and lots of hard work. nobody just gets it for free. there will be no interesting partners interested in someone with the victim mindset.

it took me 3 years to become someone interesting and now i'm married. you can start today and maybe you'll become a healthy person in 2~3 years?

healthy people don't get along with unhealthy people. it's a natural mechanism of life and it's present on the entire animal kingdom actually. healthy wants healthy so the kids have a chance to grow even healthier.

so yes, you're right. it's safe to assume that the prior likelihood is that nobody will want to be with you unless you become a healthy person. unless you want to be part of a toxic, fucked up and abusive relationship. those are easy to find.

Edited September 30, 2018 by ajasatya

[Spiral]

I don’t wanna have kids with anyone I know Although I don’t mind having kids in general.

[Shin]

The good news is that you can completely turn around your life.

I've seen people going from a victim mentality with 0 success/happiness in almost all department of their life to people with such enthousiasm and joyfullness that it becomes ridiculously contagious.

[Toby]

24 minutes ago, TheBeachBionic said:

No guys might want to have kids with me.

[SFRL]

1 hour ago, TheBeachBionic said:

No guys might want to have kids with me?

Context please

If you are fat lose weight. Lots of it. All out fitness cover model style.

Edited September 30, 2018 by SFRL

[Shin]

9 minutes ago, Mikael89 said:

Lol. Jesus Christ. Even she gets told to have a victim mindset.

Look at her previous posts. You should see that she really does have big issues. So I don't think it's appropriate to tell her that all her problems comes from a victim mindset.

But yes I know how much you successful people love telling all people who have a problem that they have a victim mindset.

I bet you all would tell even someone who gets shot in the stomach: "Ey dude, lose that victim mindset. Your victim mentality is disgusting. Stop being a victim."

Ridiculous.

It's the most important thing to discover for her.

When she will clearly see this, then she will be able to make real progress.

There could be better ways to say it for sure, but you can't beat around the bush if you truly want to help someone.

At some point you got to tell them the truth, and when you have a victim mindset, the truth hurts SO MUCH that you prefer to call it bullshit.

[ajasatya]

@Mikael89 it hurts, doesn't it?

[Shin]

4 minutes ago, Mikael89 said:

It hurts to see how wrong you guys are.

You don't know anything about her. She writes a few messages with a few words in each message. Yet you say that her main problem is victim mentality. Interesting.

Why are you reacting like that ?

And specifically when someone or yourself is being labelled as having a victim mentality ?

Have you ever ponder this deeply ?

Do you even want to, or do you find an excuse for not doing it seriously ?

[F A B]

2 hours ago, Mikael89 said:

You don't know anything about her.

...

2 hours ago, Mikael89 said:

I bet you all would tell even someone who gets shot in the stomach: "Ey dude, lose that victim mindset. Your victim mentality is disgusting. Stop being a victim."

Bro, you don't know anything about them too. You can't assume that every successful person would tell stuff like that.

 

Take it easy

[bejapuskas]

@F A B  Victim mindset is a big problem, probably more at boys than girls, but it is not an excuse I think. It is very hard to see if you are in the paradigm of being a victim, its almost invisible. Once you take responsibility, you can laugh about it seriously  

Another solution could just be gettin rid of the urge to have sex... Nobody said that its not a viable option.  

I feel that being a girl must be hard as hell... I dont know anything about you, so I would just suggest improving yourself, watch Leo and make notes, apply them, it can really do a lot! At least for me it worked to get out of the same kind of depression.  I wish you the best of luck.

[Emerald]

3 hours ago, Mikael89 said:

It hurts to see how wrong you guys are.

You don't know anything about her. She writes a few messages with a few words in each message. Yet you say that her main problem is victim mentality. Interesting.

Gee... I guess you're right... everyone like you who thinks they're helpless and unable to change is totally correct, and as an expert victim of circumstance yourself, you know an inherent victim when you see one. They might as well not even be on this forum to try to change because it's futile. You're just not one of the normal people who can change. You're just a strange exception to the rule and are so ineffably hopeless that it's beyond your capacity to do anything for yourself. This makes you special and different... perhaps even a little deeper than other non-victims who haven't realized the inherent wickedness of life on Earth.

You might as well check yourself into a home for hopeless cases because it's not victim's mentality... you LITERALLY are a victim.... a victim of the sad, sick, hopeless world that hates your very presence in it. So, victim's mentality for you an you only is just the utmost realism. In fact, even inanimate objects hate you and wish you suffering. Only one who has truly accepted their victimhood can realize this. And you have ben wise enough to realize your inherent victim status.

If a car were coming right at you (without its owner... just because the car hates you and everything you stand for), you wouldn't even be able to register its presence and duck out of the way of harm, as you are totally right that you're totally helpless and can never make changes that benefit you. And if you ever came up against the slightest adversity, your body would immediately disintegrate into a pile of dust like a vampire exposed to the sun. You are the ultimate victim... the Metatron of victims... which makes you the best of the victims... or is it the worst of the victims... at any rate the "something-est" of the victims. So, of course you have victim's mentality... victims are right to have victim's mentality. And you are the master of victimhood. Best not even to try anymore and accept your superior inferior status as top victim. 

If an ant punched you, you would have to go to the hospital immediately as all your blood would be quickly leaving your body. If a cow looked at you the wrong way, you would shrivel where you stand. And reality hates you so much that it plans to suck you into the sky one day, and tear off all your skin, then spit you back out to make you wonder the desert as a skeleton for the rest of you misbegotten life. And even in death, you will still be a victim for eternity, wondering the deserts of hell as a skeleton. 

... But seriously though, just stop. You know your full of it. 

[Shin]

Can't wait for her posts in 5 years :

 

" How do I make guys understand I don't want a Relationship/sex ?"

"How do I reject a guy without hurting him"

"How do I make myself less attractive ?"

 

 

 

Edited September 30, 2018 by Shin

[sgn]

@Emerald I love your posts.

[Nahm]

@Mikael89

Have ya considered that happy people want other people to be happy too?

Maybe every happy person once had a victim mindset, and in having overcome it, they found happiness?

[Shin]

59 minutes ago, Mikael89 said:

@Emerald

Haha ?

Nice one. You wrote a long and funny post to me (and to everyone else but you know what I mean.), so I appreciate it. Thanks (:

@Nahm Maybe, I guess.

Do you really think Emerald would waste 15 minutes of her time just to feel self-righteous ?

Read her posts, 99% of them are fucking long and are all about helping someone else.

It's just not her, but it's way more obvious if you study her history on this forum.

[ajasatya]

1 hour ago, Nahm said:

Maybe every happy person once had a victim mindset, and in having overcome it, they found happiness?

i can't guarantee that, but it's certainly true for me. i am an expert ex-victim. i recognize the victim mindset a thousands miles away.

what worked for me? raw, harsh, direct, hard and clear truth!

[NoSelfSelf]

Shit got real in here ...??

[F A B]

@bejapuskas

Sorry, I didn't get the gist of your reply. Anyway I wish you the best too

[Emerald]

1 hour ago, Shin said:

Do you really think Emerald would waste 15 minutes of her time just to feel self-righteous ?

Read her posts, 99% of them are fucking long and are all about helping someone else.

It's just not her, but it's way more obvious if you study her history on this forum.

It was moreso to take victim's mentality to level 11, so that it shows the absurdity of it. And to also show the emotional rollercoaster of what victim's mentality feels like, and what a release a person might get out of it. I talked to Mikael on a post the other day about it being like a release to succumb to victim's mentality and self-deprecation. In a sense, it's a lot like the emotional version of cutting and other forms of self flagellation and self harm. It's done for a release.

And I talked about how there is a tendency of those with victim's mentality to manipulate others into giving them their "fix." So, they say things like "I'm useless and I can't change." Then others step in to disagree with them and share with them the error in their thinking, by saying "Hey. You have victim's mentality. You could change if you wanted to." Then, they get the pleasure/pain of responding with something really self-deprecating to engage in that release again with he resistance of another person intensifying the release. It's kind of like how it's really hard to punch a tissue... but it's easy to punch a wall. The resistance intensifies the release.

So, I just decided to go balls to the wall with the notion of victim's mentality, to make those emotional sweeps and releases more apparent to him and to others on the forum. If you really follow what I wrote and try to empathize with someone who believes in the extremes of what I wrote (which of course would be totally absurd), you can see what kind of thrill/release a person might get in abandoning themselves to hopelessness in a harsh and chaotic world that's out to get us. 

Edited September 30, 2018 by Emerald