Will the Life Purpose Course work for me?

[GaiaGoddess]

I am 46 years old and unemployed. Over the years (many years), I have taken countless tests, read countless books, paid for countless courses, and have gotten nowhere. I know what my interests are, but the truth is, I am not happy no matter what job I have, no matter what field it's in, no matter anything, I am just not happy unless I am not tied down to a job. I've even tried starting my own thing like websites, blogs, making crafts, I've researched literally hundreds of ideas on how to earn money online or in non-traditional ways. The minute I do anything even if it's one of my hobbies, I lose interest. I am desperate for a life purpose to come to me but for the life of me I can't figure it out no matter what I do. I even saw a therapist and a psychologist about this. They both told me to keep doing what I'm doing, just bounce around from one job to another, because nobody is happy at their jobs anyway. Ugh! I want to be happy all the time, not just on weekends or after I quit yet another job that I hate. So I am asking for those who have taken the course, do you think it would work for someone like me?

[kieranperez]

1 hour ago, GaiaGoddess said:

I am 46 years old and unemployed. Over the years (many years), I have taken countless tests, read countless books, paid for countless courses, and have gotten nowhere. I know what my interests are, but the truth is, I am not happy no matter what job I have, no matter what field it's in, no matter anything, I am just not happy unless I am not tied down to a job. I've even tried starting my own thing like websites, blogs, making crafts, I've researched literally hundreds of ideas on how to earn money online or in non-traditional ways. The minute I do anything even if it's one of my hobbies, I lose interest. I am desperate for a life purpose to come to me but for the life of me I can't figure it out no matter what I do. I even saw a therapist and a psychologist about this. They both told me to keep doing what I'm doing, just bounce around from one job to another, because nobody is happy at their jobs anyway. Ugh! I want to be happy all the time, not just on weekends or after I quit yet another job that I hate. So I am asking for those who have taken the course, do you think it would work for someone like me?

Yes. In the long run. Granted, I’m 23 but I have 10 years of therapy under my belt and what you said there is exactly why I stopped seeing psychotherapists. A big fundamental problem, which I still have pretty bad, is trying to get someone else to tell you what to do. Fundamentally, the life purpose course is about constructing your purpose in life. There is no ethereal thing. I don’t say that talking down. I say that because I still struggle with this trap myself. It’s hard when you’re struggling to create a motivating life purpose that has impact because you’re so stuck in misery and stuck in your own maiya. It’s emotionally laborious to create that. The key to that though is applying the emotional labor to love and lighten up on yourself. Often times, at least for me, we view emotional labor as this emotionally distrustful thing that we have to dig deep, grit our teeth and force out of yourselves or force ourselves to find something. I recommend for you but take this principle to heart going into it, through it, and after it: Grounded Love, Hope, Optimism, Faith, and Courage. 

Ultimately no one can tell you how to live your life nor how you should want to live your life... Nor do I advise you to seek that!

[martin_malin]

Wanting to find something that makes us happy is problematic.  To quote Emerson:  ''The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.'' The LP course is all about that. It’s about creating a meaningful life, not a happy life.

I don't think it's realistic to expect our LP to make us happy every day. Mine certainly tortures me from time to time. In fact, 90% of what I do isn’t all that fun. But each time I want to quit, I picture myself having 6 months to live and I realize I wouldn’t change a damn thing. I find my work so meaningfull and satisfying that, a couple times per year, tears of joy roll down my cheeks. Those moments make it all worth it.

Back to you. You seem to fit the definition of the dabbler perfectly (read Mastery from Leonard). The dabbler LOVES to embark on a new journey. But as soon as the going gets tough or progress slows, she becomes frustrated and disinterested. That’s until she finds a new project…To find fulfillment, Leonard advises us to learn to love being on the plateau and having things suck. Why? Because mastery and fulfillment lie just on the other side.

Meaning and mastery!
 

Edited September 30, 2018 by martin_malin

[Moreira]

The problem is everybody relate life purpose to employment. That is not always true.  

[GaiaGoddess]

10 hours ago, martin_malin said:

Wanting to find something that makes us happy is problematic.  To quote Emerson:  ''The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.'' The LP course is all about that. It’s about creating a meaningful life, not a happy life.

I don't think it's realistic to expect our LP to make us happy every day. Mine certainly tortures me from time to time. In fact, 90% of what I do isn’t all that fun. But each time I want to quit, I picture myself having 6 months to live and I realize I wouldn’t change a damn thing. I find my work so meaningfull and satisfying that, a couple times per year, tears of joy roll down my cheeks. Those moments make it all worth it.

I have had meaningful jobs before but nothing that's made me cry tears of joy. I have worked in teenage shelters, the hospitality industry, creating quality products, helping people find what they are looking for, none of it feels meaningful to me because I'm still forced to do it for money, that's what it comes down to. I will never find anything meaningful that I am forced to do for money.

Back to you. You seem to fit the definition of the dabbler perfectly (read Mastery from Leonard). The dabbler LOVES to embark on a new journey. But as soon as the going gets tough or progress slows, she becomes frustrated and disinterested. That’s until she finds a new project…To find fulfillment, Leonard advises us to learn to love being on the plateau and having things suck. Why? Because mastery and fulfillment lie just on the other side.

Oh yeah I already know I'm a dabbler, actually there are several definitions of it, renaissance person, scanner, multipotentialite, there are several books about this, but we are told it isn't something to overcome, it's something to embrace. They NEVER suggest only mastering one skill or putting all  your energy and time into one interest. We don't stop doing things because they frustrate us, we stop doing them so that we can do something else too. We like doing everything we do, we just can't narrow it down to just one thing forever.

 

 

[GaiaGoddess]

8 hours ago, Moreira said:

The problem is everybody relate life purpose to employment. That is not always true.  

Well then I know what my life's purpose is, it's to just enjoy the things i enjoy as much as possible. But that's only 1/3 of your life. 1/3 is sleeping, 1/3 is your free time, and the other 1/3 is working. I don't want to waste 1/3 of my life on something that I am forced to do that I don't enjoy.

[Shin]

1 hour ago, GaiaGoddess said:

Well then I know what my life's purpose is, it's to just enjoy the things i enjoy as much as possible. But that's only 1/3 of your life. 1/3 is sleeping, 1/3 is your free time, and the other 1/3 is working. I don't want to waste 1/3 of my life on something that I am forced to do that I don't enjoy.

What are the things you do enjoy ?

What is THE thing you do enjoy the most to do ?

 

I personnally enjoy to do a lot of things, but If I don't do this particularly thing for a relative long time, I will feel hollow no matter what I do.

What is this thing for you ?

 

You might not know what that is for now and that's ok.

Even if you do know, I would still encourage you to get Leo's Course, because just knowing what it is isn't enough,

And also to double check yourself on that.

Edited September 30, 2018 by Shin

[GaiaGoddess]

5 hours ago, Shin said:

What are the things you do enjoy ?

What is THE thing you do enjoy the most to do ?

 

I personnally enjoy to do a lot of things, but If I don't do this particularly thing for a relative long time, I will feel hollow no matter what I do.

What is this thing for you ?

 

You might not know what that is for now and that's ok.

Even if you do know, I would still encourage you to get Leo's Course, because just knowing what it is isn't enough,

And also to double check yourself on that.

It isn't an issue of finding things I enjoy, I have TOO many, for that matter. My issue is that I want to enjoy them, not turn them into a job. But my favorite thing in life is not something I can turn into a job, and that's going to music festivals. But i dont want to work at them, a lot of people volunteer to get in for free and that would ruin the whole thing for me. I dont think I need a life purpose exactly, my problem has always been I need to know what job I should do.

[Martin123]

@GaiaGoddess hohoho Hi partner, commitment issue allert! I know because SAMEEEEEEEEEE

[Martin123]

@GaiaGoddess I can offer you a solution that I know works for me.
It is about dealing with the discomfort of being here. We can often not feel totally safe in the body and on the planet. This can then look like your dabbling and youre looking for your purpose. In truth, what we need is to feel safe. Once we are safe to commit, there is no limit to how incredible our life purpose can be. 
This can be really painful. Committing to things you might not totally like will be probably really frustrating. From my own experience I literally can feel like I am allergic to the thing I am doing. When this happens, I stop whatever I am doing, I take some "me time" off, I allow the allergy, frustration, pain, sadness, loneliness or any combination of those just be there. I love myself through feeling these difficult emotions. And then I commit again.
Babysteps, babysteps :-) 

I just really want to point you in a different direction than most self-help will show you. Most self-help principles stress "finding our purpose" and "building our life", while some of us actually need to learn commitment to what is in front of us.

I wish you good luck, this isnt an easy task to manage. 

[GaiaGoddess]

3 minutes ago, Martin123 said:

@GaiaGoddess I can offer you a solution that I know works for me.
It is about dealing with the discomfort of being here. We can often not feel totally safe in the body and on the planet. This can then look like your dabbling and youre looking for your purpose. In truth, what we need is to feel safe. Once we are safe to commit, there is no limit to how incredible our life purpose can be. 
This can be really painful. Committing to things you might not totally like will be probably really frustrating. From my own experience I literally can feel like I am allergic to the thing I am doing. When this happens, I stop whatever I am doing, I take some "me time" off, I allow the allergy, frustration, pain, sadness, loneliness or any combination of those just be there. I love myself through feeling these difficult emotions. And then I commit again.
Babysteps, babysteps :-) 

I just really want to point you in a different direction than most self-help will show you. Most self-help principles stress "finding our purpose" and "building our life", while some of us actually need to learn commitment to what is in front of us.

I wish you good luck, this isnt an easy task to manage. 

I could commit to something that felt right to me, it's just that nothing feels right. Everything loses it's joy when it becomes work. I don't think I am meant to commit to anything. I was talking to a psychologist and my regular therapist about this and they both have said I should keep doing what I'm doing and just bounce around to different jobs all the time, only take temporary jobs, part time jobs, seasonal jobs, etc. I would be ok with that except finding a job I like is such a difficult task that I don't want to have to keep repeating it forever.

[Shin]

2 hours ago, GaiaGoddess said:

It isn't an issue of finding things I enjoy, I have TOO many, for that matter. My issue is that I want to enjoy them, not turn them into a job. But my favorite thing in life is not something I can turn into a job, and that's going to music festivals. But i dont want to work at them, a lot of people volunteer to get in for free and that would ruin the whole thing for me. I dont think I need a life purpose exactly, my problem has always been I need to know what job I should do.

 Then you definitely need a life purpose.

And definitely need to have a precise hobby in mind.

Otherwise it''s just you being lazy to continue to live exactly like you do now without any real change.

That's what the post you quote me on makes me think "I don't want anything to change, don't want to work on what I love, but still want to be fulfilled in my work"

That's never gonna work, that's basically what everyone tries to do, and it fails epicly.

[Martin123]

7 hours ago, GaiaGoddess said:

I could commit to something that felt right to me, it's just that nothing feels right. Everything loses it's joy when it becomes work. I don't think I am meant to commit to anything. I was talking to a psychologist and my regular therapist about this and they both have said I should keep doing what I'm doing and just bounce around to different jobs all the time, only take temporary jobs, part time jobs, seasonal jobs, etc. I would be ok with that except finding a job I like is such a difficult task that I don't want to have to keep repeating it forever.

I know and it sounds like its a pretty sucky situation. The only thing I can recommend to you is no matter whether you commit or not, whenever there are difficult emotions connected to the work at hand (or as you said when you lose joy), allow yourself to love and support yourself through it. You might find that it is not necessarily the job at hand that brings you fulfillment and enjoyment, but how willing you are to love yourself through it. :-) 
 

[Fuku]

On 30/09/2018 at 11:38 AM, Moreira said:

The problem is everybody relate life purpose to employment. That is not always true.  

That sounds very true. But actually hard to implement a life where you wouldn't, considering you have to sustain yourself.


Otherwise, not sure I have the same problem exactly, but some of this does resonate : I love a lot of thing, I'm super excited to start doing projects, I'm excited for a time starting doing them, but then, depression or distraction hits hard. Then I start thinking I'm not made for it, put the passion under the rug for X amount of time. Then I get excited by someone else's work and feel like I can't live without doing this again. Repeat.
Sometimes I wonder if I can't make the difference between loving something and actually making it. It's either this, or depression slowly convincing me I should give up. Or just plain lazyness.
I also have this super annoying feeling that I don't have enough time to do and consume everything I like that's eating me. Probably why I'm going left an right chasing my tail instead of actually advancing on a definite path.

[GaiaGoddess]

On 9/30/2018 at 10:55 PM, Shin said:

 Then you definitely need a life purpose.

And definitely need to have a precise hobby in mind.

Otherwise it''s just you being lazy to continue to live exactly like you do now without any real change.

That's what the post you quote me on makes me think "I don't want anything to change, don't want to work on what I love, but still want to be fulfilled in my work"

That's never gonna work, that's basically what everyone tries to do, and it fails epicly.

On 9/30/2018 at 10:55 PM, Shin said:

 Then you definitely need a life purpose.

And definitely need to have a precise hobby in mind.

Otherwise it''s just you being lazy to continue to live exactly like you do now without any real change.

That's what the post you quote me on makes me think "I don't want anything to change, don't want to work on what I love, but still want to be fulfilled in my work"

That's never gonna work, that's basically what everyone tries to do, and it fails epicly.

On 9/30/2018 at 8:47 PM, Martin123 said:

 

I am sorry for the confusing quoting stuff happening, I am only responding to you Shin, for some reason it is doubling your response and it added a whole different quote that isn't even part of your post so I had to delete it, this forum is wierd with quotes!

Anyway...I feel like I am already living my purpose outside of a job, it's really just the job part I need help with. Maybe I got confused about what the course was about, maybe it's just to find things you enjoy in life. But i don't need help with that, I full well know what my interests, hobbies, values, beliefs, and morals are. I just need to know what I should be doing to earn money.

[GaiaGoddess]

On 10/1/2018 at 4:56 AM, Martin123 said:

I know and it sounds like its a pretty sucky situation. The only thing I can recommend to you is no matter whether you commit or not, whenever there are difficult emotions connected to the work at hand (or as you said when you lose joy), allow yourself to love and support yourself through it. You might find that it is not necessarily the job at hand that brings you fulfillment and enjoyment, but how willing you are to love yourself through it. :-) 
 

That's never been a problem, I can love myself no matter how depressed I am at a job, that is why I quit jobs because I know I'm better than that. But it doesn't make my jobs get any easier.

[GaiaGoddess]

2 hours ago, Fuku said:

That sounds very true. But actually hard to implement a life where you wouldn't, considering you have to sustain yourself.


Otherwise, not sure I have the same problem exactly, but some of this does resonate : I love a lot of thing, I'm super excited to start doing projects, I'm excited for a time starting doing them, but then, depression or distraction hits hard. Then I start thinking I'm not made for it, put the passion under the rug for X amount of time. Then I get excited by someone else's work and feel like I can't live without doing this again. Repeat.
Sometimes I wonder if I can't make the difference between loving something and actually making it. It's either this, or depression slowly convincing me I should give up. Or just plain lazyness.
I also have this super annoying feeling that I don't have enough time to do and consume everything I like that's eating me. Probably why I'm going left an right chasing my tail instead of actually advancing on a definite path.

Yes!! All of that! I get more excited learning what to do, researching it, and planning to start it, than I do actually doing it. and i don't think it's depression or lazyness that keeps me from enjoying doing things, I think it's exactly what you said in the last part, I don't feel like I have enough time to do and consume everything, so by commiting to something, I am shutting the door on everything else I want to do. This is why i wish i only had one hobby, one interest. I envy those people who eat, sleep and breathe whatever it is they do for a living. There are things in life that are that important to me too, but they aren't jobs, they are feelings I get from enjoying things I love in my free time. And the more i enjoy them, the less I want to think about work because work takes up 1/3 of your time (or more, sometimes) so work takes time away from being able to enjoy life!

[Fuku]

Definitely!
I didn't think commitment would be the word to contemplate here for me, but it seems like this might be what stops me too here.
Not sure how to get better focus, or rather leave things out of focus. Everytime I drop something it almost hurts when I see someone else doing it from afar. Eh. I guess there's no other way than chosing something and sticking to it at this point. I probably just need more self-discipline (which was definitly never my strong point).

Edited October 3, 2018 by Fuku

[GaiaGoddess]

2 hours ago, Fuku said:

Definitely!
I didn't think commitment would be the word to contemplate here for me, but it seems like this might be what stops me too here.
Not sure how to get better focus, or rather leave things out of focus. Everytime I drop something it almost hurts when I see someone else doing it from afar. Eh. I guess there's no other way than chosing something and sticking to it at this point. I probably just need more self-discipline (which was definitly never my strong point).

Maybe we do lack self discipline, I suspect that about myself as well. Maybe we are just perfectionistic hedonists, where we need things to be 100% enjoyable before we can do them.