Endless ayahuasca trip

[Hellspeed]

High doses are not for the uninitiated. 

[Arkandeus]

52 minutes ago, Hellspeed said:

High doses are not for the uninitiated. 

Well you're damn right, I wish I could've find out that doing 1,5x a normal dosage could send one on a trip that is lasting 8 months and still going on, I found mentions of bad trips but nothing of the sort

At the very least people reading this thread will know

Edited September 30, 2018 by Arkandeus

[archi]

@Arkandeus  I can see, given your replies, you are doing fine, stop moaning  and use this experience as a gift and make use of it till it lasts.

You can give up shortly work (in case you don't need immediate cash) and try to work with it, you have to find people with similar experiences ... maybe return to that shaman etc. just try to embrace it. 

[Arkandeus]

2 hours ago, archi said:

@Arkandeus  I can see, given your replies, you are doing fine, stop moaning  and use this experience as a gift and make use of it till it lasts.

You can give up shortly work (in case you don't need immediate cash) and try to work with it, you have to find people with similar experiences ... maybe return to that shaman etc. just try to embrace it. 

Fine?

The only thing that keeps me going is that I have an easy method of suicide prepared and ready to go, a bunch of weights and ropes in my room, a city canal, in case things get really too intense, the option to be able to sign out gives me reassurance and control over the experience, I came really close to giving in a few times, at this point each day is a win

I've tripped so far visually that people myself included look like aliens compared to what humans looked like before, yet somehow I'm able to somewhat function, yes, I'm glad for that

I could try to write down how intrigate and hard this experience , believe me I didn't try, but I don't like to moan, which is why I like your attitude.

You're right, the last shaman I went to who started my initial trip could offer me little advice, perhaps I could benefit from talking to another shaman, even if it is mere talking

If I could push a button to reverse the experience , stop it, loss of insights included I'd push it, I would've pushed it a thousand times, thats how I know this experience is not exactly a gift, there is no value in power through self-destruction

@Bryan Lettner

Hey Brian, did your 6-8 months trip include visual evolutions? Or not at all

Edited October 1, 2018 by Arkandeus

[Barry J]

@Arkandeus  have you seen a doctor? Are you taking any medications for the anxiety?

[archi]

@Arkandeus You realized that there is no real reality, :), you detached from standard calibration, you seen the things some pray to see.

... killing yourself is not the end of your trip but continuation... and apparently, you want to re-calibrate to standard reality, so you need to find a break.

Shamans are in some sense ancient doctors so that as pointed out by Barry do not diminish western medicine, speak to doctors too, they might help you to re-calibrate too.