The Upward Spiral

[Himanshu]

I'll be writing every Saturday night.. or maybe every day.

There we go.

Edited September 28, 2018 by Himanshu

[Himanshu]

I've recently quit my job where I worked as a Junior Architect. As of now, I lack a concrete vision for future, I lack good social skills and I lack clarity of mind. 

I'm going to take the following action steps over the next few months to ensure my growth on this path:

1. Total acceptance of the past; forgive myself for the mistakes I've committed, irrational and sometimes downright stupid behaviour I've indulged myself in. Daily meditation practice and becoming conducive to the range of emotions and memories that spring from my past;

2. Conscious body relaxation as soon as I notice tension anywhere within my body. Constant reminder that I'm neither the body, nor the mind;

3 Reading as widely as possible. I'm currently reading Yuval Noah Harari's Homo Deus. I'll be reading George Leonard's 'Mastery' next;

4. Constant visioning of what 'could' be my everyday experience, strategic thinking to what steps it'd take to actualize the vision and deliberately rebuilding my self image in alignment with the vision;

5. Limit mental diet. No cheap gratification with porn or masturbation until new year;

6. Constant reminder that life is here and now. 

Edited October 3, 2018 by Himanshu

[Himanshu]

It is not the occassional down-in-the-dumps that stunts my growth, but my resistance to it. 

[Himanshu]

“The things that pose the greatest threats to your survival are the most real things.” 
― Jordan B. Peterson

[Himanshu]

I'm fairly certain what I want to do in my life. I want to be an independent New Media Artist, this is a budding field, and I have the following reasons:

• It allows me to combine my long-standing interests in computers/tech, psychology and Art
• I can make the viewers engage with the artwork on so many levels, it's incredible. A well-done piece can transform an individual forever
• Interactive/ user-centric generative art is a game changer. It's a whole new artform that has never been possible before
• It allows me to explore deep metaphysical questions, unlike any other medium 
• It allows me to explore logic and algorithms -- giving me a way of understanding how, for example, natural patterns emerge - that fascinates me
• Most of the development in the field is only recent. I can be a pioneer in the field exploring the unknown, paving way for more researchers/artists.
• I have a natural ability to get the mood of a house, painting, music, sculpture (and people) and feel it through my bones 
• And conversely, it's natural for me to imagine complimentary visuals when a sound is playing
• I can research further into archetypes, symbols, and perceptual psychology... and use them in my work, I can keep developing forever 
• I can make people feel wonder.. again. Because existence IS anything but mundane, it's MAGICAL!

 

Now, here are the issues:

• I recently quit my job as an Architect and currently have no source of income 
• I am not skilled enough to develop even good-enough art in another 6 months at least, and
• As it's a budding field, there is very little market for the kind of exhibitions that I imagine 
• As of now, I've no real cash-flow system in mind. I don't know what I'll sell and how 
• It still feels like a pipe dream 
• I am afraid of committing to one thing and 'feeling' that I missed on something - which despite being very unlikely to happen, is something I fear - and I hope will be tackled in the LP course

 

While my parents are fairly supportive, living at my parents' home is stifling. I have a few ideas that can potentially support me financially while making me a better artist:

• Starting a YouTube channel- documenting my journey, exploring filmmaking, tinkering with electronics
  • Long road
  • Start to build a community which later may turn into appreciators of my work 
  • Gives me a 'voice' in the public
  • Doesn't make any money until 1000 subs
    • -at least 3 months of publishing quality content, SEO management, and being a wise ass strategic wizard with what I post
• Providing freelance 3D modeling/rendering services 
• Doing freelance writing for Arch magazines
• Joining a lab/school working in this direction as an intern/entry level artist
• All of the above

 

 

[Himanshu]

Inspired by Leo's last video, I decided to do a little question brainstorm: 

1. What is consciousness?
2. What is my authentic self?
3. What do I really want?
4. Why do I lie to / deceive myself and others? What is the purpose of lying?
5. What is the purpose of fear?
6. What is my highest vision for myself?
7. What brings about my behavior as it happens?
8. Why are there so many deluded people in the world and how do I not become one?
9. Why does everything exists as opposites?
10. What is my thermostat limit for feeling good in my life? How do I increase that by 1000x?
11. Why am I attracted to artistic, expressive women?
12. Why am I attracted to women that (I feel) need rescuing?
13. What is the deeper purpose of sexual attraction?
14.  How do I become more authentic in my day-to-day life?
15. What changes can I bring to my life to be grateful to be alive?
16. How do I make the best of my strengths in this life?
17. What regrets would I die with if I don't do anything about them?
18. Why does beauty inspire me?
19. Why am I constantly seeking new experiences?
20. What would make me truly happy?
21. How do I become financially independent?
22. How do I work alone and make a lot of money?
23. What product or service can does the world need this year that I can provide
24. How much money do I need to make to feel fulfilled?
25. What is the highest level of freedom possible for a human being?
26. What are my gifts? How do I give my gifts?
27. How do I live my day so that I can die tonight with no regrets?
28. What do I need to learn this month to take my career to the next level?
29. How lifestyle changes do I need to increase the amount of freedom in my life?
30. What causes happiness? Does happiness need a cause?
31. What is the purpose of emotions?
32. How do I use my emotions to deepen my life experience?
33. How do I become whole?
34. How do I live my life with intense involvement with everything and not identify myself to anything?
35. How do I become Zorba The Buddha? 
36. Who am I - really?
37. Why do I seek social validation?
38. What is the next level of human evolution?
39. Why have I been obsessed with learning since childhood?
40. How do I free myself from sexual compulsive behaviors?
41. How do I use sexual attraction to actualize my purpose?
42. What makes a man attractive?
43. How do I become more authentic in my day-to-day communication?
44. What is my ideal work day?
45. What is the highest impact I can have on the world?
46.  Why do I admire Leonardo Da Vinci?
47. Why do I admire Nikola Tesla?
48. Why do I admire Leo Gura?
49. Why do I admire Russell Brand?
50. Why do I admire Jordan Peterson?
51. Why do I admire Joel Zimmerman?
52. Why do I admire Sadhguru?
53. Why do I admire David Deida?
54. What is my worldview? How is my current worldview limiting my growth
55. How do I fully integrate stage yellow within?
56. How do I fully integrate masculinity and femininity within and flow freely between the two?
57. How do I expand my circle of concern to the entire globe?
58. What steps can I take today to enhance the impact I will have on the world throughout my life?
59. What infrastructure do I need for my success?
60. In which domains am I failing to take responsibility of my life?
61. What are the keys to effective communication?
62. How can I enhance the range of emotions that I can communicate within an interaction?
63. What can I learn from Jordan Peterson in this?
64. What can I learn from Russell Brand in this?
65. What are the subtler nuances of communication
66. What is Language?
67. Can I communicate without language?
68. How can I know the most effective form of communication according to the situation?
69. Which situations demand communication of ideas/ theory?
70. Which situations demand communication of emotions?
71. What form of communication is the most effective for imparting knowledge?
72. What radically different lifestyles could I be living right now?
73. What one habit can I install today that would have great dividends over the rest of my life?
74. How do I sharpen my perception?
75. How can I know when I am getting stuck in one paradigm?
76. How can I develop a big-picture understanding of how the world works?
77. How can I use my current expertise to make the world better?
78. What new subjects do I need to develop expertise in to make the world better?
79. Where can I find high-quality friends who are passionate about life?
80. What unhealthy emotional patterns have I unconsciously adopted in my childhood?
81. How do I free myself from my family without feeling bad about it?
82. How do I practice unconditional love in my day-to-day life
83. How can I become a world famous writer?
84. How can I become a world-famous environmental psychologist?
85. How can I motivate the maximum number of people to work towards improving the environment?
86. How can I use Architectural Psychology to help people design better hospitals, jails, asylums?
87. How can I completely free myself from all concerns of self-survival?
88. How can I enhance my social and emotional intelligence?
89. What practices do I need to evolve my default thinking mode into independent, systemic thinking?
90. How do I make a habit of seeking win-win-win solutions?
91. What would I do if I had nobody to please but myself
92. How would I live my life if I choose to love and accept myself unconditionally?
93. How will my relationships change if I consciously to choose the other person as they are?
94. How do I let go of the automatic characters I have adopted?
95. What mindset do I need to reposition myself as a partner at the firm I am working at?
96. What do I need to do to free myself from the desire to impress?
97. How do I consciously maintain my freedom to be, and not fall into one role or the other?
98. Who are the people that I am, consciously or unconsciously, emulating?
99. Who are the people I can meet and interview that can fulfill the gaps in my current knowledge?
100. What am I resisting right now?
101. Why does a strong presence accompany acute fear?
102. How do I get free from social pressure?
103. Do I need to spend more time reflecting on my actions?
104. From where does my desire to impress/be validated come from?
105. What bad emotional patterns gained in childhood am I still carrying?
106. How can I use weed to accelerate my psycho-spiritual journey?
107. How do I use weed to do shadow work?
108. What is the best purpose I can use weed for?
109. What is the difference between being self-conscious (as in a public setting) and being conscious of one's own thoughts? Can one lead to another?
110. What does it feel to have an authentic, integrated, whole personality?
111. What is the purpose of language?
112. What are the idiosyncratic behaviors that I do not want challenged / to change?
113. How do I release the ever-present tension in different parts of my body?
114. What are the deep-set neurotic emotional patterns that I need to release?
115.  What do I hate about myself?
116. What lifestyle changes do I need to implement to allow my creative genius to flourish?
117. How can I spend my full work day in my Zone of Genius?
118. What facet of my life needs a closer examination?
119. What techniques can I employ to speed up my personal development work by 100 times?
120. What new perspective can help me multiply my income by 100x?
121. What ideas am I entertaining on a daily basis that is more fiction than reality?
122. Why should I care about the Truth?
123. Why does nobody seem to care about the Truth?
124. What practical implications would pursuing Truth would have on my life?
125. What practical implications would pursuing sex, money and social status would have on my life?
126. What subject am I willing to spend 10000 hrs working on?
127. Do specific colors trigger specific emotions within a person?
128. How can buildings be designed to allow the maximum number of people to gain spiritual insights?
129. What brings awe and inspiration? How can architecture do that?
130. What is the most efficient way of learning a new craft?
131. What are some techniques that can speed up my learning process?
132. How do I get into the flow state every time while writing?
133. How do I produce high quality work consistently and without burning out?
134. How do I become the light amidst darkness?
135. How can Architectural design enhance the well-being of people who inhabit it?
136. Where could I have been more conscious today?
137. How do I know when I am lying to myself?
138. What desires and fantasies do I have am I not allowing into my awareness?
139. What am I always complaining about?
140. In what ways am I screwing myself over?
141. How can sexual desire be transformed into love for life?
142. How can every person that I date become a gateway to Love, Truth and Understanding?
143. What can I do to turn attraction into emotional turmoil and drama? How do I NOT do those things?
144. How do I flirt more authentically?
145. What diet changes would help me gain more body awareness?
146. What are some healthy forms of recreation?
147. Where in my life am I being naive and ignorant?
148. How do I burn with the fire of mid life crisis every moment while staying grounded and relaxed?
149. How do I become more independent?
150. What exactly am I seeking independence from?
151. How do I practice and maintain behavioural freedom in my office?
152. How do I become the most charismatic person I know?
153. How do I integrate the dark aspects of me consciously and have a richer authentic personality?
154. Who are the people in my life that I criticize, demonize or dislike?
155. How do I loosen my attachment with my life story?
156. How do I get in deeper and deeper touch with that which is ever present within?
157. How do I express more love in every social interaction I partake in?
158. How do I have more awareness when dealing with people?
159. How do I fully integrate stage green?
160. How do I stop judging?
161. What do I need to do in my lifetime to leave a better earth for the next generation?
162. How would my life change in the coming 5 years if I make myself the highest authority?
163. How do I make abundance my default mode of thinking?
164. In what ways am I trying to gain acceptance in an inauthentic manner?
165. Why am I scared of Leo's insight that 'Reality is understandable'?
166. How can I feel more light and energetic all the time?
167. Where in my life am I wallowing in self-pity?
168. Where am I acting like a pseudo-intellectual snob?
169. How do I form healthy, meaningful relationships?
170. How do I transform fear into love - INSTANTANEOUSLY when I feel it?
171. What is money?
172. What is mind?
173. What is body?
174. What is my domain of mastery?
175. What is my life purpose?
176. What is my medium?
177. What is porn?
178. What is media?
179. What is social media?
180. What is entertainment?
181. What is fast food?
182. What is relationship?
183. Why have human societies developed the way they have?
184. What is the nature of addiction?
185. What is Ignorance?
186. Where does a thought come from?
187. What is thought?
188. What is science?
189. What is the highest good I can do in this lifetime?
190. Who is the highest good I can be in this lifetime?
191. What is freedom?
192. How do I free me from my compulsive patterns of behavior?
193. How do I become more true to myself?
194. What is value?
195. Where am I being close-minded?
196. What do I really want?
197. What am I addicted to?
198. How do I let go of my addiction to the internet?
199. How can I free myself from identification with thoughts?
200. Where am I falling in the trap of spiritual ego?
201.  In what ways am I sneakingly avoiding getting better/freer/ more in my higher self?
202. What is the essence of masculinity?
203. What is the essence of femininity?
204. How do I get more and more present every day?
205. What 'bad' feelings am I trying to escape from?
206. What is fear?
207. What is jealousy?
208. What is narcissism?
209. What is the best way to play the social game?
210. How do I give more?
211. How do I surrender more into the present?
212. Which teachings have been the most effective on my self-actualization journey?
213. How do I create more?
214. How can I master my emotions?
215. What is a habit?
216. What is art?
217. What is architecture?
218. What is design?
219. What is color?
220. Why do people behave the way they do?
221. What are the lessons I have learned from my past relationships?
222. What are the lessons I have learned from my childhood experiences?
223. Why does my mind seems obsessed with social status?
224. In what areas of my life am I operating from a scarcity mindset?
225. In what ways am I holding myself back from exploring life?
226. What is bliss?
227. What is death?
228. What is clarity?
229. What is stability?
230. What is love?
231. What is hate?
232. What is guilt?
233. What is intelligence?
234. What is presence?
235. How can I feel everything more fully?
236. How can I be instrumental in creating a world that allows every individual to blossom in love and ecstasy?
237. Why is English the most spoken language of the world?
238. What is communication?
239. What are subtler levels of communication than language?
240. What are some uncomfortable truths I am unwilling to accept?
241. Where in my life am I being an ideologue?
242. What am I proud of?
243. What is life?
244. If I were fearless and unlimited, what would I create?
245. If I were totally selfless, how would I love?
246. If I were immortal, what would I create and what would I do?
247. Who would I be if I am ultimately loving, selfless and conscious?
248. How do I feel and express abundance every moment?
249. Why do I feel lonely all the time?
250. How do I create a strong social support system for myself?
251. What past events do I need to cut clean of?
252. Where in my life am I being passive aggressive?
253. What one thing can I do that will allow me to have more clarity in my mental model?
254. What one thing can I do daily to maximize the amount of freedom in my life?
255. What one thing can I do today to stop giving a shit about anybody else?

I have been asking questions all my life, but not consciously. I will refine this list and pick 5 questions to contemplate.

[RobertZ]

Thanks for these. I was going through them, one by one, and getting fantastic insights. 

"For my hero's quest, what is my secret power?"

I just remembered that somebody told me something...

Edited May 22, 2019 by RobertZ

[Himanshu]

That's a good one. 

This exercise has been more effective for me than anything else I have done in a long time. I have replaced morning affirmations routine with questions routine and it feels great! 

I want to complete a total of 1000 questions in 3 weeks, just to see what I've got. 

[Yannik]

Beautiful, thank you for the questions!