How to find mentors

[CirclesofMastery]

18 minutes ago, Jecht Spencer said:

Mentors are huge. You have to pay some of them to be in their presence because time is money. The best mentors in the world charge. You aren't going to get an audience with Tony Robbins or Oprah without some bookoo bucks.

I agree partially with what some people are saying in terms of finding mentors online but nothing (and I mean nothing) is nearly as powerful as meeting them in real life and learning. You are the sum of the five people you hang out with most. By surrounding yourself with powerful, successful, and educational mentors not only do you learn from them but you learn their mannerisms.

You see with your own two eyes what exactly makes them so polarizing.

Tai Lopez talks specifically about the law of 33%. You spend 33% of your time with adepts (people who need help from you), 33% of your time with peers (people on your level), and 33% of your time with mentors (people above your level.)

To be around the best don't expect anything to come free. Nothing in life is free.

Some mentors just spending 1 hour with you could be equivalent to them making ($5000.) Thus why a lot of them charge.

As to finding them. Either pay them to learn from them or offer some form of value that can help them (internship for example.)

Keep asking, keep asking, and keep asking.

Hey dude very very helpful.

I feel that i am just a spectator when it comes to mentors online and through books etc.....(simplex communication) The duplex communication is worlds apart. If i literally soaked up and embodied everything from the lessons to the techniques i read and watched (literally 1000's of hours) i would be the ultimate developed person. i think we all would be right!?? 

If i was to say to you..... Can you advise me how you got you approached your mentors and how you managed your mentor relationships. How would this typically go?

 

Br

 

CoM

Edited February 8, 2016 by CirclesofMastery
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[CirclesofMastery]

10 minutes ago, Dhana Choko said:

And for finding them: They find you.  So do not worry.

I really thank you for your time in replying and giving your opinion on this topic. I think it's an important one. 

How do apply this proactively in finding a great mentor for my specific needs? I guess unless the mentor wants a mentee nothing will happen right?

[CirclesofMastery]

11 hours ago, MIA.RIVEL said:

I run a life coaching business and I have my own personal development coach, business coach and a health and fitness coach.

I was lucky to get introduced to my health and fitness coach who has offered to coach me for free in return I help advertise and recommend her. 

I am paying a really good business coach because I believe having someone who is experienced and is where I want to be, is they key to my success also (mind you I pay her good money for results), If I didn't see the results I wanted I would of let her go but she has a great reputation. 

My personal development life coach is someone I met through my coaching college so we sort of bounce ideas of each other and help each other with personal development (but it always a learning experience between the client and the coach).

I had a mentor when I going through my law degree who was actually my boss at the time, so I was very fortunate to have someone who took the time and day out for me. 

Depending what outcomes you are trying to achieve and you can ask around (it never hurts to ask if you look up to someone and ask them to be your mentor) but sometimes it does pay off to hire an expert in the field who has what you want. 

Lastly, i agree with everyone else, the internet can be your best friend for learning from other people. For me, I don't have all the time in the world to search for answers so having a coach has helped me a lot. 

Thanks for the detail in your reply. What have you found the differences are in experience and results when using a real life mentor as opposed to a virtual one (online or books)?

 

Br

 

CoM

[Jecht Spencer]

3 minutes ago, CirclesofMastery said:

Hey dude very very helpful.

I feel that i am just a spectator when it comes to mentors online and through books etc.....(simplex communication) The duplex communication is worlds apart. If i literally soaked up and embodied everything from the lessons to the techniques i read and watched (literally 1000's of hours) i would be the ultimate developed person. i think we all would be right!?? 

If i was to say to you..... Can you advise me how you got you approached your mentors and how you managed your mentor relationships. How would this typically go?

 

Br

 

CoM

I spent money to be among my mentors. They aren't in my life. To find the one's that I wanted to be around I went to one of their events.

This is how I met Jeff Allen and Elliott Hulse.

Neither of them are someone who I would call a "true mentor" in the sense I talk to them all the time. It is about being in their presence.

If you get lucky enough for one of them to put you under their wing expect to work for literally nothing at least to start. Tai Lopez essentially worked for free with Joel Saletin for 2 years but when he left gained a network of the gods.

Find the person you want to model. The thing is I focus more on "modeling" someone's behavior. Sure it might be cool to listen to what they have to say but ultimately I am more inerested in what they DO.

This separates the people who ultimately have the "mind sets" of self-improvement and the people who get RESULTS with self-improvement.

I want RESULTS. Tangible in my hands results. (More money, more women, more fun, etc...)

I have a LOOOOOOOOONG way to go.

You have to FIND your mentors... don't wait for them to just "magically appear."

They won't and those that do won't be the best for you. It's essentially the same as settling for a relationship with a co-worker or a girl met through a social circle.

Like I said I'm in the same boat as you. If I find a real gem of a mentor down here in Miami I'll let you know

[Dhana Choko]

25 minutes ago, Jecht Spencer said:

You have to FIND your mentors... don't wait for them to just "magically appear."

They won't and those that do won't be the best for you. It's essentially the same as settling for a relationship with a co-worker or a girl met through a social circle.

I would never advice anyone to just take any mentor, cause you will know when you gain value from someone, you are intrigued by them. Even if they are "bad mentors" you will learn from them what you need: sensitivity and definition. 

My point is that you don't need to worry so much about your evolution or growth. If you want to grow, you will find ways to grow and if you want a mentor, you will find one or many - at some point you might have too many to choose from!   

[rikkefriismose]

1 hour ago, 8LanguageStud said:

I think I need a mentor to help coach me what to say, and what not to say on the internet, to strangers.  Like how open should one really be with people you don't know, don't have any way to measure how safe you are to post comments or thoughts, and even on my facebook page... like how willing should you be to bare yourself to others.  My natural tendency is to be totally open, but I don't think it is always wise to reveal unfiltered thinking to everybody in the world.  It can get you into trouble... or is it best to just blurt out whatever comes to your head?

My natural tendency is, too, to be totally open and honest. And this comment is meant to be all good.

As I read through your comment, I notice that you firstly annonce a question towards an aware decision: what to say and what not to say. 
Secondly, you ask the question if it is best to blurt out whatever comes into your mind. To me, the last question of yours is an unaware way to handle it.

If I was you, I would consider to tell the truth, and why hold it back? I like the following quotation a lot:

If you want to be trusted, be honest. If you want to be honest, be true. If you want to be true, be yourself. 

If you show what you have under your jacket (crazy examples: like a dealer or a blotter), if you show whatever is there, nobody will ever have anything on you, nothing to say against you, as you have already said it (and thereby, accepted it) yourself.

I mean, what can people do to you if you post a totally authentic comment, which comes from within you... and you believe in yourself?

But, last but not least, be aware of what comes into your mind. Your mind may play tricks with you. Maybe your lower-self is the one speaking to you.

[FinnishJon]

It's not only about being honest, but being diplomatic... like, if I have a strong opinion about something, is it always wise to state that opinion, or is it better to listen.  Or even answering questions about trivial subjects.  I don't have to have anything to hide to know that sometimes, it's not what you say but what you don't say that reveals your psychology, and I'm not sure I can always trust the people on the internet with intimate knowledge of my own personal psychology.  Do you trust everybody on this forum to have your interest in mind?  Perhaps more so than the internet at large?  I'm just not sure at all who to trust.  I haven't seriously used internet forums in a long time, since 2008 or so, because I learned the hard way that sometimes it can cause me a lot of grief.  And though I used to use facebook a lot, posting pictures and so on, I think looking back, I probably should have been more prudent about what I posted. Because not all your "friends" on FB are your real friends.

[CirclesofMastery]

@Jecht Spencer Jeffy Allen HAHA I've read/listen to both of his books. He's definitely character......  

[rikkefriismose]

2 minutes ago, 8LanguageStud said:

It's not only about being honest, but being diplomatic... like, if I have a strong opinion about something, is it always wise to state that opinion, or is it better to listen.  Or even answering questions about trivial subjects.  I don't have to have anything to hide to know that sometimes, it's not what you say but what you don't say that reveals your psychology, and I'm not sure I can always trust the people on the internet with intimate knowledge of my own personal psychology.  Do you trust everybody on this forum to have your interest in mind?  Perhaps more so than the internet at large?  I'm just not sure at all who to trust.  I haven't seriously used internet forums in a long time, since 2008 or so, because I learned the hard way that sometimes it can cause me a lot of grief.  And though I used to use facebook a lot, posting pictures and so on, I think looking back, I probably should have been more prudent about what I posted. Because not all your "friends" on FB are your real friends.

I am often considering whether I want to involve myself in the debat or not. If I will gain anything from it. If it is worth my time.

I would like to ask you the following question, but I will first of all say that it is up to you whether you are into answering or not.

What can the people on the internet do to you if they know about the intimate knowledge of your personal psychology?

Would they do anything? If they would, would you then be able to observe your own reaction to their statements against you and be aware of the potential fact that it is all about your point of view to what they write, how you see it?

If I was you, I would start to trust myself, trust that I will "KEEP CALM and observe my own reaction". Not everybody seems like pleasant people, but if you see through their outer layers, you may come to a point where their words against you seem worthless and are not having a bad affection on you.

[Itsallgoode]

I watch these almost daily and they have helped me tremendously. Nahko Bear, Infinite Waters/Ralph Smart,  Ajahn Brahm, Sadhguru, Jason Stephenson and of course Mooji 

[FinnishJon]

13 hours ago, rikkefriismose said:

What can the people on the internet do to you if they know about the intimate knowledge of your personal psychology?

Would they do anything? If they would, would you then be able to observe your own reaction to their statements against you and be aware of the potential fact that it is all about your point of view to what they write, how you see it?

 

I think there are things people can do, but I don't have a full imagination of what.  I'm thinking blackmail, extortion, sullying my reputation among me real life friends.  

One example comes to mind.  The organizer of "everyone draw Mohammed" day on facebook has had real death threats and has had to hire security to keep her from getting murdered.  So, there definitely are things that internet people can do to you.

I didn't totally understand your second question.  A long time ago, I participated on an atheist forum, and the trolls there used their combined efforts to insult me, but not really anything more.  It just felt bad.  But I can imagine a lot worse if some unscrupulous individual on the internet who is playing the equivalent role of one's online "therapist" would go use one's intimate life details to his or her own advantage.   And this doesn't just apply to me, do you think anybody has such a perfect life that there wouldn't be some sort of issue that a malevolent person couldn't somehow use against you?  Anyway, these are the thoughts that sometimes go through my head when I post on the internet and it makes me more reticent in my activity.

By the way, should we move this discussion to a new thread?  It has gone a bit astray of the original question of Mentoring, though you seem to be acting as a good mentor here... My apologies and thanks!

Edited February 9, 2016 by 8LanguageStud

[Itsallgoode]

I watch these almost daily and they have helped me tremendously. Nahko Bear, Infinite Waters/Ralph Smart,  Ajahn Brahm, Sadhguru, Jason Stephenson and of course Mooji