Trip Report: Infinite Intelligence - Self Contractility - Energy Transformation

[Consilience]

This post is going to be a trip report/an outline of insights and experiences I encountered last night while going to a rock concert with my step dad; the band is named Russian Circles. The drug used was weed. I smoked around 6 heavy hits of a strain called Gorilla Glue #4, dosed at 29.6% THC and 0.86% CBD, using a glass pipe. 

*Warning, this will be a long post, but I'll have it organized by the experience so if you want to only read about certain topics, you can. 

What I thought was going to be an otherwise "normal" rock concert ended up becoming a facilitator for 3 separate mystical/non-dual esque (I really have no idea what to call them) experiences. We walked into the venue and immediately it felt as though Russian Circle's music kind of shocked my nervous system... Like the vibrations where synchronizing with my body. It was loud of course, but also the style of music that Russian Circles plays is extremely rhythmic, has zero vocals, and is also very complex, so it's hypnotic in a way. They use a lot of loops in their music, so there are multiple layers of sounds going on at once. So we're literally just standing in the crowd and the more time that passes, the more and more it felt like I was beginning to sink into the rhythms of their music, as if my ego just kept getting increasingly quiet to the point where there was just the awareness of the music. More awareness, more awareness, more awareness... And then things got weird.

Infinite Intelligence - 

Probably around 15-20 minutes into the concert after becoming increasingly aware of and into the music, and after still being high as fuck from the weed, BOOM. I'm just in awareness. It was literally just fucking awareness. I was aware of these powerful rhythms, I was aware of all of my body sensations, the visuals of the show and crowd occupied my consciousness and there literally was no more sense of "I." It was just pure, unadulterated conscious experience. And then there was this clear and distinct disconnect from the music, from the crowd, from the power of that auditorium, and "I" just fucking saw into everything that was going on. It was like the universe revealed to me the complexity of every last mother fucking drop of reality. 

It was as though I was peering into the amount of skill, time, energy, and fundamentally Intelligence, that it took those band members to perfect their craft, how much time and energy that went in to culminate into this beast of a performance, a performance that was able to drawn in a massive crowd and hold their attention, as if they had transcended into some sort of gods. I felt and saw the complexity of the musical vibrations, almost as if the sounds were "dancing" in some sort of patterned INTELLIGENT rhythm through vibration. "I" became aware of how much information and intelligence had transpired to create this exact moment in time in space, how much fucking evolution, how much cellular organization, how much practice and skill, how perfectly aligned the actual cosmos of our universe had to be aligned to create THIS PRESENT FUCKING MOMENT. The sheer intelligence of my absolute reality hit me like a freight train. Like... Every last drop of orgnazation and complexity for every last individual human, every brick of that building, every cell on that room, every atom, the velocity of our galaxy, the gravity of our sun, the pull of our moon, the psychology of these minds.. all of it just poured over awareness like a waterfall. 

What was also so profound about this experience is I could actually feel the limitations of my consciousness on this matter. I saw just how utterly mind bogglingly complex this ONE FUCKING MOMENT was... And yet how much intelligence I still wasn't able to become conscious of. I'm sure if I had taken a real psychedelic, perhaps it could have facilitated further insight into the nature of this intelligence, but regardless of the strength of this insight and experience, I still was aware enough to see how much further room for growth there was. 

One of the key insights I came into direct (as direct as I've ever been before) contact with is how that at every scale of reality, there is infinite of intelligence. Whether at the sub-atomic, atomic, physical, biological, psychological, social, all the way up to cosmic scale, there is infinite intelligence at play. The experience was actually beautiful and profound... and ultimately very elucidating. 

Self Contractility - 

The way Russian Circles organizes their music is that after each song plays, they play these soft yet melodic interludes before continuing on. So after the song that sent me flying head first into intelligence ended, I was kind of just sitting there shell shocked at what I'd just experienced. And then the music started up again...

So at this point, my ego has returned somewhat and I'm a little overstimulated. What ended up happening was my vision just fixated on a man in the crowd. I was staring at the back of his head, at his silhouette. The music kept increasing.... harder and harder; volume and intensity rising and rising and dude I just kept staring at this random strangers head. This silhouette became the singular focus of my awareness, and it began to feel as though "I" WAS the silhouette, as if this outline was the source of any sense of self I could ever have. I became so fixated on this man that it truly felt like my sense of self just merged into his body, there was no more "my body" it was only "Silhouette."

Intellectually, I've known for a while how arbitrary the "self" actually is. The ego/mind creates these artificial, arbitrary conceptual identities out of the human body that occupies our awareness 24/7. Just because this body happens to always occupy our present awareness, it does not follow that WE ARE THAT BODY. In fact, it's appropriate to say, we are AWARE of that body. Unfortunately, the illusion as a separate self, built off of layers and layers and layers of subconscious conceptual processes prevents the True Self from actually realizing its true nature. What this means is that the sense of a separate self is actually contractile in nature, and simply "morphs" around the body we always have a direct experience of, despite the fact that this is an arbitrary distinction. What happened with this man's silhouette was that this sense of self arbitrarily detached from "my" body and formed around his. This was achieved through a single laser pointed focus on his outline, so much so that the self "leaped" onto him. This is possible precisely because "my sense of self" is literally just as arbitrary as "my sense of self latching onto a man's outline." Each are bullshit, each are illusion, but each are achieved through a laser pointed focus on either my "sense of self" or another facet of present experience. 

To put all of this more concisely, the self can expand and contract in any direction it wants, with equal validity in all directions BECAUSE there is no actual self, or EVERYTHING is you so any distinction is arbitrary and equally valid/invalid, depending on how you look at it. Knowing this intellectually is quite different that going through the literal experience of self contractility. 

 

Energy Transformation - 

Towards the end of the performance my ability to focus started really diminishing. It felt like I was in some sort of limbo, unable to really ground myself or make sense of the chaos that was going on. I wasn't freaking out or having an anxiety attack or anything, but it certainly felt like I had started to spiral into a very overstimulated state where all of the senses where clashing and fighting with one another. The music had turned into the propulsive and powerful force that was hammering me over and over with each wave of sound. 

At the peak of my discomfort, I spontaneously dropped into a state of meditation and started to perform sushumna breathing. For those who don't know, this is a Kriya yoga technique where you essentially imagine/feel energy flowing up and down your spine through the 7 chakras. Through each breath, it felt like the energy of this performance started flooding into my crown and root chakras. What was so interesting though was it felt like I had started directing this overwhelming energy through my spine, and this somehow began to "recycle" the harsh energy of the show into alternative forms of creation. The sounds began to return to their beautiful state, and I began to slowly release the suffering from overstimulation by simple directing all of the energy into my spine. 

A flash of insight into the nature of energy transformation entered my mind too. As the energy of these rhythms, visuals, and crowd were circulating through my spine, it felt like these were then transformed into and through my body. If anyone has heard of the term "Shakti" which is roughly defined as divine energy and the source of creation, it felt like I was coming into contact with this principle. How each and every facet of our reality transforms itself, through itself, with itself, and ultimately recycles itself into all of reality. As more and more of the shows energy poured into my spine, more and more I became conscious of the strange loopiness that is reality interacting with itself through transformation. 

This last experience could have easily been more defined as a mystical experience rather than an insight into the nature of reality, however even from a materialistic paradigm, reality literally interacts with itself through transformation of energy and matter. It doesn't seem like too much of a leap to think that one may be able to become directly conscious of this facet. Meh.  

Sidenote: If you don't do Kriya yoga, START. This shit is powerful as fuck and really starts to open up the mind, body and ultimately self. 

 

Key Take Aways - 

 

Fuck. 

This was by far one of the most powerful experiences I've had on weed. It wasn't my most powerful, nor did this feel like an "enlightenment" experience, but nonetheless fuck. It was nice being able to directly experience mechanisms of reality, but I think the biggest take away I was left with was just how much further down the rabbit hole I have to go. Enlightenment goes really fucking deep... And despite how powerful of an experience last night was, I was shown just how much further my awareness has to grow. 

So for now, I'll continue to chop wood and carry water. 

P.S. For the forum members who still think weed can't be used as a tool for personal development and spiritual growth, fuck you (jk)  

P.S.S. If you actually read all of this, you're a G. 

[hundreth]

Lol Gorilla Glue is great weed. I've had it. Very sativa dominant, energetic strain. 

[Consilience]

1 hour ago, hundreth said:

Lol Gorilla Glue is great weed. I've had it. Very sativa dominant, energetic strain. 

I was not prepared for its dank-ness