In a slight rut

[Jacobsrw]

Hi everyone,

just a quick back story. I’ve recently come out of a one year relationship (longest one for me) haha. I’m currently going through some slight discomforts such as fixations of my ex partner and some regrets. However, I have deeply evaluated this area and I’m in a very good place when it comes to my future. More time to work on myself. More time to focus on my career. More time for building new connections and expanding social network. So many benefits.

But in the midst of all this I still find my self emotionally struck. As if there is a battle wound that requires time to heal. My dealings with break ups is much better than the how so in the past. Still I have my struggles though. In this particular situation I believe it’s my inner insercruities and not my ex partner causing the issues. As I don’t really miss her, I dislike the the created void.

We broke it off very well and respectfully went our seperate ways. Although, I was not as fully committed to relationship as I could have been. So this contributed to our split. I feel it is time to really deeply dive into my past, as my childhood through being adopted was not the most pleasant. I have done a lot of work on my past but feel there is much to go. So my main question here is, what are some of the best transformational ways to moving through that hump period of a break up? I do daily meditation and reflection but feel I should incorporate other specific strategies for this scenario. Any advice would be greatly appreciated as I am not the most experienced relationshipee! Haha

[Lynnel]

@Jacobsrw It's been some time but my break up guide from a while back might help you a bit

Warning : I was still in stage orange at that time so several things very still a bit crude. Here it is :

Maybe I'll do a upgraded green/yellow version later after I evolve a lot more

[outlandish]

22 hours ago, Jacobsrw said:

So my main question here is, what are some of the best transformational ways to moving through that hump period of a break up? I do daily meditation and reflection but feel I should incorporate other specific strategies for this scenario. Any advice would be greatly appreciated as I am not the most experienced relationshipee! Haha

I think you really just need to be patient and give it time, like you said "there is a battle wound that requires time to heal".

When you cut your leg, you clean the wound, and then bring the skin together and let your body do the magic of healing it back together. Have you cleaned the wound of this relationship already, or is there some dirt in there that you need to clean out still? 

Maybe the answer is that you have done all that already, sounds to me like you have. If so, it's time to stand back, don't pick at at, leave it be. You might need to take the bandage off every once in a while to clean the dressing, but don't obsess over it.

Specific strategies that really work are to get out socially with friends more, exercise, pursue your interests etc. Common sense stuff really.

[Jacobsrw]

@Lynnel thank you! Enjoyable read. Some useful stuff too.

@outlandish could not agree more. I feel it is the the normal process after a relationship. Which in some aspects shows that the person had significance. 

I’ll be moving interstate in 4 months. So I think that will provide some more abundance.