Why does it matter if you love reality or not?

[MM1988]

@Mikael89 You are so right. All these people preaching here have had normal formative experiences growing up so their neuronal network and psychology isnt as fucked and focused on failure as ours. They are healthy human beings. The purpose of ego is to calculate future based on past. And our ego is basically ringing the alarm bells non stop based on our past experiences.

 

"Just write a different story in your mind". So easy to say when you are not suffering under your twisted mind every day and cant put a stop to it.

Edited September 26, 2018 by MM1988

[MM1988]

Normal Ego: Alright, you fucked up this date, but look some girls liked you in the past, maybe you arent her cup of tea. others will come and like you.

My Ego: Holy shit dude you didnt have a single sucess with a girl in over a DECADE. WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING. I know you already tried a lot but there is something totally going wrong. NO SIGN OF THINGS IMPROVING EITHER. LOOK AT THE STATISTICS FOR FUCKS SAKE. WTF HOW CAN YOU SIT HERE MEDITATING ?! 

Edited September 26, 2018 by MM1988

[Nahm]

57 minutes ago, Mikael89 said:

@Nahm Let's rewind time, and you get reborn, and you live your same life, but with the difference that all girls have hated you and you have not had a single relationship with a girl, you have only had sex with let's say 2 girls (one night stands, and the sex wasn't that good). And you are 99.9999% sure that you will not have a single relationship in your whole life, probably not even have sex again before death.

How would your life be like?

I don't think you would be enlightened. You would probably be suicidal.

I was suicidal. I took a hand full of happy pills everyday for a while. 

I learned not to blame, but rather to do the work. To look at myself. 

Then I started telling a different story.

Enlightenment has nothing to do with this. Stop using it as an excuse to keep telling the same old story. 

And for God’s sake, stop looking for people to commiserate with.

[Nahm]

5 minutes ago, MM1988 said:

Normal Ego: Alright, you fucked up this date, but look some girls liked you in the past, maybe you arent her cup of tea. others will come and like you.

My Ego: Holy shit dude you didnt have a single sucess with a girl in over a DECADE. WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING. I know you already tried a lot but there is something totally going wrong. NO SIGN OF SIGN OF THINGS IMPROVING. LOOK AT THE STATISTICS FOR FUCKS SAKE. WTF HOW CAN YOU SIT HERE MEDITATING ?!

Let that go.

That is meditation.

This repeating of your victim story, diminishing yourself, saying others are lucky but not you - that’s all THINKING.

Let THINKING go.

That is meditation.

Or don’t. Keep telling that same story. What do I know, right? Nothing. 

[MM1988]

@Nahm I'm trying so hard, I really try. And it goes well for a couple days and then I have a really bad day like today and the neurosis just goes into overdrive. The suffering just builds up and staying conscious takes a lot of energy. And when a certain breaking point is reached I go into "fuck everything" mode.

Edited September 26, 2018 by MM1988

[Shin]

1 hour ago, Mikael89 said:

Not true. (Nothing in your whole post is true but especially that quoted comment is one of the most retarded "myths" there is.)

I have been like that for years, no girlfriend.

4 hours ago, Mikael89 said:

 

Yes it is.

When you truly don't seek a relationship and sex, you just are internally grounded.

Women flock guys like that.

 

But look, you can lie to yourself to continue to suffer, or actually working to get a girlfriend to realize what we are saying, or totally drop that belief and seeing for yourself that you don't need all that to be happy.

It's up to you, if you suffer it's your fault, no one else, and no situations or achievements will change that either.

Ever.

 

Edited September 26, 2018 by Shin

[MM1988]

Some days your mind will just decide to make your life a living hell.

[ajasatya]

Just now, MM1988 said:

Some days your mind will just decide to make your life a living hell.

it's not that simple... it's a pattern constructed through years.

it's possible to clean it all.

[Joseph Maynor]

A lot of people don’t want to flatten the illusion or see through the illusion because they cling to the illusion.  That’s what Ego is — clinging to the illusion.  Thinking is not enough to rid yourself of Ego.  All the thinking in the world cannot replace seeing.  Thinking can only tee you up for seeing.  It’s seeing that Thought and Experience are an illusion that allows the true Self to extract Awareness from entanglement in Maya.

Edited September 26, 2018 by Joseph Maynor

[Shin]

12 minutes ago, Mikael89 said:

No it's not. I think you are just playing stupid now, I get it.

"It's up to you, if you suffer it's your fault, no one else"

Do you think that applies to everyone?

Yes, it does.

Every inch of suffering is self created.

You are literally creating suffering to yourself.

Until you accept that, you will continue to blame and use every excuses as to why you can't be happy.

 

Edited September 26, 2018 by Shin

[Rilles]

[Joseph Maynor]

11 minutes ago, Rilles said:

This is a good example of Experience.  Just the imagery.  Can you separate Thought and Experience when you look at this?  Flatten the illusion to see Experience.  

Video on point:

 

Edited September 26, 2018 by Joseph Maynor

[Nahm]

@MM1988

I know dude. I know. 

The effort is spent trying to keepin it in. It takes a lot of energy to suppress. 

Let that shit out.

If you need to sit for hours, and cry all night, do so. Stop running. Enough. 

Don’t be afraid of the suffering, the sensations of fear and frustration. Embrace it. Feel whatever arises and you begin to be free of it.

It might take while, you might need to do this a few times, or more. That’s ok. Just let the body do what it already knows how to do. 

“You” just sit there and accept it, and go through it. 

BREATHE DEEPLY & SLOWLY.

 

The suffering is the result of running from the fear - the sensation in your body. Don’t be afraid. Sit back and relax as best you can, and let your body purge all that shit.

 

And stop telling the same old story, that is perpetuating the suffering. 

Tell the story you want, have faith in that. It might be blind faith today, but that’s WAY better than the alternative of same old.

A day will come, soon, where you won’t rely on faith, you’ll know.

And guess what you’ll do then?

Help somebody. 

And guess how that’s gonna feel?

Like love. 

[hundreth]

Spiritual bypassing doesn't work. If you want a relationship, great - you have a goal. That's deeper than nihilism. 

It seems you've tried spirituality and are going in circles. Come back to the real world and face your fears. Work on finding a relationship. You have limiting beliefs of what you're capable of.

When you achieve your goal, that's when you can turn back to spirituality. It will make more sense then.

[hundreth]

https://robertmasters.com/2013/04/29/spiritual-bypassing/

Here's an article which speaks in more depth about spiritual bypassing. Consider psychotherapy and doing shadow work. I'm seeing many young kids here spiritually bypassing through life. 

You can lucid dream this experience, but if it's not a dream you're happy with you still want to change it. You can identify with the absolute instead of relative self, but you don't want to have to detach from your relative life because you're not pleased with it.

[Nondescript]

@MM1988

Keep trying,  knowing that you have a soulmate out there. As lonely and miserable as you seem to be, many have been there before. I thank God that I made it through something somewhat similar to what you describe. Looking back, I just figure that I didn't get the girls I wanted because that was my destiny not to. I made a lot of mistakes, and one night stands, but the girls that I really wanted as girlfriends always rejected me in one way or another. It was misery. 

It completely kills any confidence in dating or any future relationship. 

Looking back, I tell myself it was divinely orchestrated to protect my future ..such that if I would've had a relationship with any of those girls something unfavorable to my future would've happened (pregnancy,  STD, or something worse I don't even consider)

Though my path was rocky I have a beautiful wife now. I wouldn't be here if I haven't been there. There can't be happiness without something to compare it to. 

[Arkandeus]

uncomfortable situations, I too have sensed these voids, created by the existential burning desire for the presence of a woman or more women in my life.

Enlightenment shines light, as such, we truly face our dragons, there is no heavenly relief in sight as one would expect from sudden enlightenment the likes of Eckhart Tolle.

Not in my enlightenment at least, and seemingly not in the enlightenment as our good friends who suffer similar fates.

What does it mean to long for a woman?

Who is a woman, what does she mean to you? What do she look like, what does she do?.. Rather pointless questions when compared to these feelings the size of mountains pressing on my being, pressing for something.

I take it one day at a time, an answer will come, to these longings, relief will come, one day at a time,I can make it one day at a time, patiently, the insight will come and our actions will finally be understood for their true purpose, our own systems, our own processus, our ways of life, will be revealed to ourselves, we are no failures, we are beings, moving forward

 

Edited September 26, 2018 by Arkandeus

[seeking_brilliance]

You know what's better than a girlfriend? Adopt a child and tell me you are still lonely and don't have a family. 

[WelcometoReality]

9 hours ago, MM1988 said:

If there are no guarantees what does it matter?

You are tortured physically or emotionally and put in massive emotional labor to still love reality for what it is. The suffering continues anyway and you are brought to the point where you are killed or kill yourself and that was it.

Why do a spiritual practice everyday if the chance of enlightenment is so small - if it even exists. Why not just do heroin all day to eliminate your suffering and die peacefully?

Do you think heroin addicts are free from suffering? 

The ones I've seen seems to suffer a great deal. They try to avoid suffering which creates even more suffering. I tried the same thing, not with heroin but with video games. Let me tell you it didn't work. Had I dealt with the suffering right away it would have been over within weeks or months. Instead it dragged out for over 10 years of depression. 

The only way is to deal with things. Deal with life. Anything else just prolongs suffering.

[SBB4746]

@Mikael89 @MM1988 I suggest you guys read the book “Models” by Mark Manson. I reckon it could be a real eye opener to how your making yourself so unattractive and how to fix it.