Why does it matter if you love reality or not?

[Strikr]

1 hour ago, MM1988 said:

@Mikael89 I think we have a simmilar story. No success with girls despite trying for over a decade, depressed, neurotic, confused, nihilistic and going on 30 with no sign of anything changing. Found this site and got into spirituality as a "last" attempt to become a better person and somehow deal with the suffering.

Better way to deal with it .. is art not heroin. If you want to abuse one stupid drug. Do weed everyday.. 

Music cure the soul it's not a joke go for a try take a D.a.w for free if you have no monney and average pc'mac

Drawing help calm.anxiety.. no joking.

 

Heroin will destroy you. One of my dealer was an addict at 16 he told me on eyes to never do it very friendly after telling me why he do it ( parent hated him ). ( Yep lol he was selling mainly weed. )

[Enlightenment]

@MM1988 Not anymore, I wouldn't trade places with them. Satisfaction from having a family, experience with girls, sex, doing drugs etc. Those are all concepts and behind them, as a fundamental thing that you want is bliss, well being, positive state of the mind if you would now get infinite bliss - none of those concepts would bother you. You know what I mean If you're truly a nihilist. From the net hedonism perspective, spirituality wins.

EDIT btw. why heroin? If you want to enter a low inhibition god mode do meth + benzos

Edited September 26, 2018 by Enlightenment

[Nahm]

22 minutes ago, MM1988 said:

If I had a relationship or at least knew I could get one when I wanted I would be double motivated to become the best version of myself

Stop ignoring the selfishness and the obvious fault in your line of thinking. You know exactly what you’re doing here.

You’re doing this to yourself with conditions & excuses.

You’ll need to choose a much more mature perspective, conveniently, you are much more mature than this. 

This victimizing yourself via conditions is not going to make you happy. 

If you look for love in yourself, you find it.  Please stop acting like you look and it is not there. It’s irresponsible of you and misleading to people less mature than you. Enough dude. Enough pushing the past onto your now. Enough. Put it down.

[Nahm]

36 minutes ago, Mikael89 said:

I think for some people a relationship is the only missing piece which can kickstart a positive spiral upwards, or whatever you can call it. Personally I think I'm one of those

You too. Knock this childish shit off man. If you continue to say “I need a relationship to start letting go of the past and loving myself”, you are projecting that past as a condition. You are intelligent, I see that. You know better. 

[Rilles]

@MM1988

Watch this video (again if you already have)

[Echoes]

@MM1988 A way to ease up a little might be: feel the "or else".

For example: I have to get a girlfriend and sex as soon as possible, or else [I die as a pathethic loser who wasted his life]

Or else [I have all reason to regret my life when I am older]

Questioning the solidity and seriousness of those "or elses" can relief a lot of tension and anxiety.

Find your own "or else" beliefs.

Edited September 26, 2018 by Echoes

[Nahm]

[MM1988]

@Nahm You know whats kind of shitty about this forum. Everytime someone who is nowhere near enlightenment and deeply suffering from emotional problems asks for help here he gets showered with all this - excuse me - non dual bullshit. Its triggering to say the least, because when you are in that situation this information maybe sounds good but it does nothing but confuse you. Its also why Eckhart Tolle is so popular but I bet 99% of his readers are still suffering. Its just a thought in their head. It maybe helps a little bit, but the suffering perspective will be back over and over again, and it will feel 1000x as real. But I dont know what else advice someone could give. There is really no way to help ordinary people. Life isn't a Love Simulator. Life is the most sophisticated torture device.

 

[Rilles]

Enough with the victim thinking and finger pointing! You have an entire internet of resources! Fix your problems or dont.

[MM1988]

"I cant win the lottery, the chance of winning is smaller than 1:100.000.000. Its pointless, the game is rigged against me, I tried for 15 years and didnt make any bit of progress."

"Enough with this victim mentality."

[Strikr]

29 minutes ago, Mikael89 said:

@Nahm Easy for you to say who have got plenty of love from women from early age.

You know women bring alot of love to the world, you like nurses (they are caring). What would we do without women? 

Your relationships have contributed alot to your whole well being, life and everything, whether you are aware of it or not.

I hope you wont get too angry at me, I look up to you.

I never had love neither so I can talk on this topic ( I m 25 soon ), see the limit of my nihilim ( nihilism even if "true" is a delusion as "love" is ) why fix your attention on nihilism and bad things, if that's the thing you don't want ? it takes time to cure this habit, it's a work daily for more than a month, it's about focusing on the work on yourself and never complain about no result, because result appear when you push for real and challenge your own thinking.

If love is stupid, why nihilism is smart ?

And you want to know something.. I m beautiful and many girls love me. I m just very very autistic and don't know what I want from a relationship ( the truth ) before I was saying "girl don't want me because x"

now I can see the flaw in myself. You think people have better life because they have "sex" ? my brother is not "aware" or very spiritual, he has a BEAUTIFUL girlfriend, very kind and smart.. ( maybe too "normal" though ) but he have plenty of sex, guess what, HE COMPLAIN, he would prefer play video games and have his own time. ( and he has everything most people want ) and he is doing and want exactly what "lonely people" do. ( he even buy a big computer for playing games last week ) he even lie to his girlfriend to play more sometimes.. so .. happy ? I m happy to push on him now some "budhism philosophy" I think it helped him a lot. ( he was a very "angry kid" before ). And guess what, he has sex with girl since more than 5 years ( he is 22 y ), and I m still virgin ( I don't care really, like really, not like a lie to myself )

I didn't have for a reason, and thinking about "why" isn't doing anything anyway, there is no answer to a "why" for this, and every answer I can have for it, will be "negative" or "positive" depending on my thinking/emotion, not on a " personnal global reason" 

I have another friend who had many girlfriends and in love ( he loved his girlfriend for real ) ( for 8 years ) he masturbated everyday like 3-4 times ( he told us, he don't care, he is a funny friend ), but when he prefered smoked weed ( and his girlfriend had a problem with family drug, so she kind of left him after a year ) but .. life goes on

it's a fucking joke, but you can understand that, the mind is the only thing that trick you ( and you subconscious belief ) how to fix ' bad belief ' by watching more "large"

looser complain, winner improve, and I learn the lesson from another friend who played league of legend and was top 500 world top ( a game who has more than 5 000 000 player ). ( I've seen him change from "middle looser" -> like me and my team, to him GROWING HIS MINDSET, playing to win, complaining about HIS OWN failure ) he even created another account, he win 25 times in a row, without never loosing. ( he pushed 3 accounts to rank "diamond" just to show people, there is no "luck" )

guess what ? 90% of people on league of legend complain being with NOOB. When the only shitty noob is them and their mindset of looser.

My friend played to win, when he had dumb people, what was his mind guess ?

"I should be even stronger to cary all this stupidity !" He was an unaware enlightened player haha

 

just knowing this friend told me a lot about what you can change, only by changing yourself, ( so even video games can teach you things ! )
 

Edited September 26, 2018 by Strikr

[MM1988]

@Strikr If you dont want a relationship you obviously dont suffer. Many autistic people are like that. Do you think I can just turn it off? I would if I could.

You cant compare that to League of Legend, being good at video games is not nearly as fundamental as the human need for intimacy. And for me playing video games is the exact opposite of winning at life.

[SoonHei]

3 hours ago, tsuki said:

Even if this person you call 'you' will die peacefully, you will be reborn and experience this suffering again.

so if one fails to recognize their true nature they are reborn as another human? or anything else but whatever they are reborn as it will be in a duality reality.

 

and does that mean once "one" gets enlightened in whichever lifetime of "their's" then they still maybe reborn but it will be as non-dual rebirths for eternity...

 

is that what heaven is? being born as some form in reality but living as the pure witness for eternity ?

@tsuki

 

 

[Strikr]

humm you don't see the point, I don't play video games since more than 4 years.. only with some friends at their home. You just want to see how flawed my reasoning is, your choice. I m trying to push you to see others situation than yours, but you don't want to.

I aswell want a girlfriend but don't complain anymore about not having one, time comes when my mind want it, not other way. ( I want a girlfriend "hard" I m very curious, it kills me to not know, and I never had intimacy : my old mindset ) I complain about not having girlfriend like many years.. ( no more ) it's when you don't look for girlfriend that you get one.. that's fucking idiot, but this is how it happen'd ( my kisses with girls )

Do you really think that having sex and having intimacy will last for eternity and cure your suffering ?

I m not even denying that you need it. I m denying it will cure you at last

but if you want it for cure something, you'll never cure anything, put a nicotine patch on someone who like to smoke 50 cigarets a day will do nothing. ( it's a "magic pill philosophy" )

See for yourself, I m not telling you to believe me, I m telling you, where does come all your believe about ' I need that to be happy, or this '

it's a fucking lie to yourself in hope to "cure"

and this guy "win" his life aswell, good grades, girlfriend, still good in marketing and doing what he wants.

 

what do you call a winning life ? ( this post has been edited )

Edited September 26, 2018 by Strikr

[MM1988]

I'm not denying that it probably wont make me happy. But it is what is on my mind all day and my mind tells me thats the reason I'm suffering and thats just reality. I know its probably bullshit.

 

@Mikael89 My experience as well. There was a 3-4 year period in my early twenties where I was open for a relationship but didnt look for one and was content alone. Of course nothing happened. Its just now that I'm nearly 30 my neurosis is going into overdrive.

[Strikr]

yep only true for me, I can't give you the truth.. no one can, there is none. I can only give you mine.

I have pointing the fact that I m not ugly on a basic, this is maybe "why", I m not saying you're ugly, and many ugly people makes it anyway, by cultivating other point of their mindset.. ( what is "ugly" anyway )

 

if you focus on your flaw instead of your strenght, everything you believe, is always true, if you can't love yourself, why a girl would love you ? who can love you ? 

instead of complaining, complaining, complaining. First work before "loving girl"

is "love yourself" and it's the "secret", but if you hated yourself so many years, it's hard to persuade your subconscious, that you have "value".

Edited September 26, 2018 by Strikr

[Nahm]

@MM1988

Listen closely. 

There is no meaning. There is love.

YOU are assigning meaning, but you are one sneaky sneaky being, and you keep tricking yourself that the meaning is coming from objects.

It ain’t. 

All meaning, is coming from you. 

Stop being so damn sneaky. 

Without ignorantly projecting meaning onto everything to fit your same old story,  - freedom, love. 

Ignorant is not an insult, is it a state of unaware that YOU and only YOU are making up all meaning. 

Start writing a different story.

[Nahm]

58 minutes ago, Mikael89 said:

Spot on. ?

And now everyone will hate us for our victim mentality  It really triggers people. It doesn't really help us when they start yelling about "victim mentality". But whatever.

I am not triggered. I have no hate. I’m aware that I am the assignor of meaning, so I am not. 

Are you aware that you are the assignor of meaning?

No. 

You’ve been lazy and afraid.

Will you admit, to yourself, that you are assigning meaning, and you have been denying this? 

Ya, it’s going to be rough, that realization. 

But you are braver than you know. 

You can tell another story, and that one will come true.

There is nothing to learn here, this is exactly what you’re already doing.

You are a much, much better story teller. 

Perhaps, instead of deflecting your ignorance towards me, claiming I am ‘triggered’ - consider telling a better story about me. 

Then see that you can do this for yourself.

I know that you can.

[Strikr]

yep, no one can cure yourself, everytime here someone point with his fingers, you fucking describe his hand, not even his finger. And the moon is not even a thing you consider haha

: I would say, go in China, you'll see if girls don't like you.

it's all a matter of bubble

Edited September 26, 2018 by Strikr

[Hellspeed]

Nonsense logical explanations.